Plot twist: none of them.
I have long since realized that modern theoretical physics is in reality the most elaborate inside joke ever created, hid under such levels of abstraction and, if necessary, obtuse math so that the plebeians can't test and debunk the joke. Everyone on the inside have taken a pledge to keep silent about the whole charade, and the goal is to see how far they can push it before people notice. They started out kinda subtle and somewhat plausible, but by now it's like they don't even care anymore — and still they go on mostly unnoticed.
I suspect that this theoretical-prank cult can be traced back to Newton. His mechanistic laws undermining the obvious reality of material bodies which we all know to be true — yeah, cool story Isaac. Too bad that the letters you sent betray the
real feelings you had about your own theories:
"... to me so great an absurdity that, I believe, no man who has in philosophic matters a competent faculty of thinking could ever fall into it." Yeah, busted, Newtie.
Those on the inside thought that Einstein had pushed the joke too far with his relativity and all that jazz. I mean, Twin Paradox — come on! That's just stoopid. "When I have them hot girls on my lap, time moves
relatively fast". Yeah, you sassy prankster, Albert. But no, no one saw through it.
And that spurred them into going full clown-mode, leading us to the quantum debacle.
Copenhagen? Puh-leaze. Physical systems do not have definite properties until we measure them, and the act of measuring affects the system, and collapse and yada-yada, and so the real world no real? You're obviously pranking me. Entanglement i.e., Schröedinger's cat, you're telling me that the cat is
simultaneously dead and alive? More like Schröedinger's monkeyshine, amirite.
Many-worlds interpretation? "[T]here is a very large—perhaps infinite—number of universes, and everything that could possibly have happened in our past, but did not, has occurred in the past of some other universe or universes". Yeah, you guys have been reading too many Isaac Asimov novels, alright. Gimme a break.
Worse yet are the von Neuman and Wigner-gang claiming that the human mind is what makes the wave-function collapse, and so reality no real without our consciousness or whatever. You saying there was no reality before brains evolved? That's the dumbest thing I've heard.
And the worst offender of them all is Tegmark and the whole "mathematical universe" circus. "What if, like, everything is really nothing but math and numbers and, like, dodecahedrons and stuff". Jesus. Lay off the acid already.
(inserted pic of Tegmark holding the real reality in the palm of his hand)
If anyone has any doubt, and they will: yes, none of this is serious at all.