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stringertom

Bionic Poster
Its not about emoting for someone else benefit. Thats not how the love for a child feel. Think its impossible to understand this without experiencing it.
I highly recommend Jane Fonda In Five Acts to fully explore the dynamics of failed generational relationships, both as a daughter and a mother, that this icon has persevered through to finally reach some peace in her last act of a very interesting life.

Jane was everywhere on the screen and in the news in my adult life and I knew On Golden Pond explores the rails between her and her dad but until I watched this moving biopic of her life I never knew about the tragedy of her childhood concerning her suicidal mother or how Jane has struggled to deal with her own flawed relationship with her oldest child, the French daughter she conceived and began to raise with director Roger Vadim.

It’s a great watch for the history impact alone!
 

TheGhostOfAgassi

Talk Tennis Guru
I highly recommend Jane Fonda In Five Acts to fully explore the dynamics of failed generational relationships, both as a daughter and a mother, that this icon has persevered through to finally reach some peace in her last act of a very interesting life.

Jane was everywhere on the screen and in the news in my adult life and I knew On Golden Pond explores the rails between her and her dad but until I watched this moving biopic of her life I never knew about the tragedy of her childhood concerning her suicidal mother or how Jane has struggled to deal with her own flawed relationship with her oldest child, the French daughter she conceived and began to raise with director Roger Vadim.

It’s a great watch for the history impact alone!
Thank you! Ill check it out!

But I think this happens in all families. Also in my family things havent always been easy. My uncle didnt talk to my grandfather for 15 years.
My grandfather didnt like my Italian father, he was like a racist. But he was a great granddad to me and I didnt understand all this until I got older. All of my closest family have gotten therapy, year after year. Me, my sisters and parents. In a way I think all people should get some therapy now and then.
Its just incredible how complex we are and to live together is a lot to handle. Even if its family. Very strong feelings good and bad. But thats how it is and also this struggle to be able to communicate and also have a good time, is a lot of learning in that, and that has made me grow a lot emotionally and also become stronger mentally.
 
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Deleted member 742196

Guest
Its not about emoting for someone else benefit. Thats not how the love for a child feel. Think its impossible to understand this without experiencing it.
Meh you did not listen to me when I gave you all those ideas....
Let’s say it is impossible. Let’s say I can’t reach for the meaning of life type answers.

As I fumbled towards vague and metaphysical thoughts like “emoting for someone else’s benefit”, what @Azure suggested was I read a book from the small revolving library here.

A German book. German - with German words and German grammar that I don’t understand.



Hang on. Maybe she was saying what you just did in a different sort of way?

Was it compulsory service, or you did you choose to join? How much time?
Voluntary, but my first girlfriend yelling “you wouldn’t last a day in the services you pampered twat!” in the middle of an argument made it seem awfully involuntary at the time.

This is a compliment but you remind me of Jeff Goldblum a little!

Thanks!

I do that take it a compliment. Goldblum isn’t conventionally good looking. You might easily look at him and think there’s all kinds of things that seem a weird but he’s got that “gawk at me, I have interesting things going on.” the way it all comes together.

He’s expressive. Something I think of as a good quality.

Thanks again!
 

Azure

Legend
Let’s say it is impossible. Let’s say I can’t reach for the meaning of life type answers.

As I fumbled towards vague and metaphysical thoughts like “emoting for someone else’s benefit”, what @Azure suggested was I read a book from the small revolving library here.

A German book. German - with German words and German grammar that I don’t understand.



Hang on. Maybe she was saying what you just did in a different sort of way?



Voluntary, but my first girlfriend yelling “you wouldn’t last a day in the services you pampered twat!” in the middle of an argument made it seem awfully involuntary at the time.



Thanks!

I do that take it a compliment. Goldblum isn’t conventionally good looking. You might easily look at him and think there’s all kinds of things that seem a weird but he’s got that “gawk at me, I have interesting things going on.” the way it all comes together.

He’s expressive. Something I think of as a good quality.

Thanks again!
Meh you didn't get the hint when I asked you to stay away from the screen and take a siesta. It's ok though. You just wasted several minutes of your life you aren't going to get back :p
 
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Deleted member 307496

Guest
Thanks!

I do that take it a compliment. Goldblum isn’t conventionally good looking. You might easily look at him and think there’s all kinds of things that seem a weird but he’s got that “gawk at me, I have interesting things going on.” the way it all comes together.

He’s expressive. Something I think of as a good quality.

Thanks again!
Goldblum was cool in Jurassic Park. :) So sleek and smooth with the way he engaged with others.
 
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Deleted member 742196

Guest
Meh you didn't get the hint when I asked you to stay away from the screen and take a siesta. It's ok though. You just wasted several minutes of your life you aren't going to get back :p
Shouldn’t it be evident by this point that I don’t do well with hints? The little girl in Philippines that held me by my tie had to tell me she was in fact, robbing me. Recently, a guy got upset when I thought it was just a casual drink we were out for.

Next time force me to bed. Lock me in the room if I need to be confined. Independence is overrated, I’m happy if someone else does all the deciding.

Post Script
What hint? Did you need to be elsewhere at the time? Maybe I was being a bit self involved. Sorry! Will make it up at some point, promise! Double promise! You get an unlimited usage coupon for metaphysical crises of any kind. No fine print. The bigger, the better!

Goldblum was cool in Jurassic Park. :) So sleek and smooth with the way he engaged with others.
I think what I like about him is he has that certain essence of charisma. Charisma is definitely a quality some people exude in a physical sense. You might look at a conventionally attractive person and forget them the next instant. Charismatic people aren’t let go of as quickly, they compel you, drawing you closer in.

It’s very much a quality I would like to have more of.
 

Azure

Legend
Shouldn’t it be evident by this point that I don’t do well with hints? The little girl in Philippines that held me by my tie had to tell me she was in fact, robbing me. Recently, a guy got upset when I thought it was just a casual drink we were out for.

Next time force me to bed. Lock me in the room if I need to be confined. Independence is overrated, I’m happy if someone else does all the deciding.

Post Script
What hint? Did you need to be elsewhere at the time? Maybe I was being a bit self involved. Sorry! Will make it up at some point, promise! Double promise! You get an unlimited usage coupon for metaphysical crises of any kind. No fine print. The bigger, the better!



I think what I like about him is he has that certain essence of charisma. Charisma is definitely a quality some people exude in a physical sense. You might look at a conventionally attractive person and forget them the next instant. Charismatic people aren’t let go of as quickly, they compel you, drawing you closer in.

It’s very much a quality I would like to have more of.
Too much. I can't force an adult to sleep lololol.
 

TheGhostOfAgassi

Talk Tennis Guru
Shouldn’t it be evident by this point that I don’t do well with hints? The little girl in Philippines that held me by my tie had to tell me she was in fact, robbing me. Recently, a guy got upset when I thought it was just a casual drink we were out for.

Next time force me to bed. Lock me in the room if I need to be confined. Independence is overrated, I’m happy if someone else does all the deciding.

Post Script
What hint? Did you need to be elsewhere at the time? Maybe I was being a bit self involved. Sorry! Will make it up at some point, promise! Double promise! You get an unlimited usage coupon for metaphysical crises of any kind. No fine print. The bigger, the better!



I think what I like about him is he has that certain essence of charisma. Charisma is definitely a quality some people exude in a physical sense. You might look at a conventionally attractive person and forget them the next instant. Charismatic people aren’t let go of as quickly, they compel you, drawing you closer in.

It’s very much a quality I would like to have more of.
My experience with very charismatic people is that they are often sociopaths
What a boring eye opener !
 
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Deleted member 742196

Guest
Too much. I can't force an adult to sleep lololol.
But what about the second part? Did you need/want to go at the time? I’m working off your use of the word “hint” in the above.

My experience with very charismatic people is that they are often sociopaths
What a boring eye opener !
Conventionally attractive people are narcissists, charismatic people are sociopaths, the wealthy are oblivious, the poor are lazy, thin folk must be anexoric, overweight ones are hogs, shy people are insecure and confident people must be compensating.

And people keep wondering why I return to China as often as I do. It’s quite simple, I don’t understand them and their ways.

It allows me to talk to people and I never want to forget how to do that.

Also, I mentioned a physical sense of charisma.

How would you go about quantifying someone is a sociopath (whatever such terms mean, apparently people that enjoy chocolate and coffee have sociopathic tendencies) from the way someone looks?

This guy below?

He’s a famous homeless bum there in China. He’s charismatic in that physical sense, looking at him you’re sort of drawn in to his story.

 

TheGhostOfAgassi

Talk Tennis Guru
But what about the second part? Did you need/want to go at the time? I’m working off your use of the word “hint” in the above.



Conventionally attractive people are narcissists, charismatic people are sociopaths, the wealthy are oblivious, the poor are lazy, thin folk must be anexoric, overweight ones are hogs, shy people are insecure and confident people must be compensating.

And people keep wondering why I return to China as often as I do. It’s quite simple, I don’t understand them and their ways.

It allows me to talk to people and I never want to forget how to do that.

Also, I mentioned a physical sense of charisma.

How would you go about quantifying someone is a sociopath (whatever such terms mean, apparently people that enjoy chocolate and coffee have sociopathic tendencies) from the way someone looks?

This guy below?

He’s a famous homeless bum there in China. He’s charismatic in that physical sense, looking at him you’re sort of drawn in to his story.

I’m just talking from experience. I have been fascinated by charismatic people and when having them on my own other sides show.
 
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Deleted member 307496

Guest
I think what I like about him is he has that certain essence of charisma. Charisma is definitely a quality some people exude in a physical sense. You might look at a conventionally attractive person and forget them the next instant. Charismatic people aren’t let go of as quickly, they compel you, drawing you closer in.

It’s very much a quality I would like to have more of.
I totally agree. :)

I would've responded earlier but a migraine crippled me. :(
 
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Deleted member 307496

Guest
That’s something I’d love to see!

:-D

When you two are done I’m glad you can go over to me :p:love:
No mints needed. I like it natural.
Whenever my parents showed me pictures of me cuddling with them when I was little I blushed a little and felt embarrassed, but it was good they got to enjoy the moment. :)
 

TheGhostOfAgassi

Talk Tennis Guru
Whenever my parents showed me pictures of me cuddling with them when I was little I blushed a little and felt embarrassed, but it was good they got to enjoy the moment. :)
Hopefully he will get little embarrassed about it too one day. So far he is even bringing his friends into it and he likes me to be involved. It’s me that has to set the boundaries as he is not doing it.
He has just got his first girlfriend so let’s see.
 

voldemort

Rookie
Hopefully he will get little embarrassed about it too one day. So far he is even bringing his friends into it and he likes me to be involved. It’s me that has to set the boundaries as he is not doing it.
He has just got his first girlfriend so let’s see.
You should spend time reading to him. My mom did it a lot when I was 3-10 and it’s the main reason why my reading comprehension is far above my education level.
 

onehandbh

Legend
Hopefully he will get little embarrassed about it too one day. So far he is even bringing his friends into it and he likes me to be involved. It’s me that has to set the boundaries as he is not doing it.
At what age do kids start getting embarrassed of their parents? (of them being not cool).

I want to prepare for this. Here is the checklist I have so far to make my kid think I am cool. Anything I'm missing?

  • get tattoos of philsophical phrases in Mandarin Chinese
  • Grow beard or goatee
  • grow hair out and style into man bun
  • close my facebook account and get enough followers to become an instagram or social media "influencer"
  • sell my car and use an electric scooter instead
  • hire an assistant to operate a drone to shoot 360 VR video of me to be live-streamed 24/7
  • hire millenial coach to remove my entire vocabulary and replace it with the latest, cool acronyms and emojis
  • burn all my physical books in a Fahrenheit 451 degree fire and follow popular people on social media instead
 

voldemort

Rookie
Random note:

My mom says a sign of a good mother is her child’s head. Meaning: his/her head is proportioned right. She said she took lots of time to turn me as a baby so I wouldn’t end up with a lopsided coconut like many children and end up wearing a helmet.
 

TheGhostOfAgassi

Talk Tennis Guru
At what age do kids start getting embarrassed of their parents? (of them being not cool).

I want to prepare for this. Here is the checklist I have so far to make my kid think I am cool. Anything I'm missing?

  • get tattoos of philsophical phrases in Mandarin Chinese
  • Grow beard or goatee
  • grow hair out and style into man bun
  • close my facebook account and get enough followers to become an instagram or social media "influencer"
  • sell my car and use an electric scooter instead
  • hire an assistant to operate a drone to shoot 360 VR video of me to be live-streamed 24/7
  • hire millenial coach to remove my entire vocabulary and replace it with the latest, cool acronyms and emojis
  • burn all my physical books in a Fahrenheit 451 degree fire and follow popular people on social media instead
Hahahaha so funny!!!!!
My son is now into a rap phase and it’s really not suiting him very well.

It is impossible to keep up w him so I am just doing my own things and he is interested in what I am doing. Me and his dad have had a bit of reverse roles. I’ve been the one teaching him to swim, bike etc. I’m the one that likes to do kids stuff. And I am more of an action seeker than his dad.
If I ever have a girl I don’t know what to do. I get away w a lot being like this and having a son. I used to play w boys as a kid and a tomboy. What I like the most is to make him laugh very hard, I can eat a thumb of wasabi and arrange “challenges” which are popular for their age.
I think the trick is to do what we think is fun as well.
Only thing I do w him which I think is boring is to watch him and his friend rapping and dancing the same thing over and over for at least one hour.

Do you have girls or boys? Both?
 

voldemort

Rookie
Hahahaha so funny!!!!!
My son is now into a rap phase and it’s really not suiting him very well.

It is impossible to keep up w him so I am just doing my own things and he is interested in what I am doing. Me and his dad have had a bit of reverse roles. I’ve been the one teaching him to swim, bike etc. I’m the one that likes to do kids stuff. And I am more of an action seeker than his dad.
If I ever have a girl I don’t know what to do. I get away w a lot being like this and having a son. I used to play w boys as a kid and a tomboy. What I like the most is to make him laugh very hard, I can eat a thumb of wasabi and arrange “challenges” which are popular for their age.
I think the trick is to do what we think is fun as well.
Only thing I do w him which I think is boring is to watch him and his friend rapping and dancing the same thing over and over for at least one hour.

Do you have girls or boys? Both?
“Rap phase”.

Oh jeez. Some aggressive music therapy needed.

What you don’t think you’re done having kids?
 

voldemort

Rookie
My mom gets on my nerves a lot with her overprotection of me and she gets sneered at a lot because of it, but when I feel that way I think of how many kids in my situation are miserable because of absent/ uncaring parents.

I know many autistic guys my age that either live or have lived a long time
in awful group homes. Because once their parents say they couldn’t fend for themselves they shipped them out so they would be out of their hair.

I’ve visited and saw firsthand what these places are like. They are glorified prisons where they wake up at 6:00 everyday, attend classes, eat the same disgusting canned food everyday, have one hour dedicated to watching a predetermined tv show, sleep with 5 other people, have one bathroom for 40 people and have no freedom or privacy. And there are always stories coming out about them being abused and starved by the workers. While their parents think they are happy and they are living their selfish lives.

Not to mention my mom herself lived a hellish childhood after her mom abandoned her (after HER mom abandoned HER).

My mom could have so easily been one of those but she wasn’t. I lucked out.
 
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Zara

Legend
They say that people who are modest about their intelligence are actually smart. People who feel stupid may just be around too many stupid people. :)

But I've been called stupid quite a few times myself in my life. Let's say I don't associate with those people anymore as they weighed me down and made me feel bad.

But from our conversations I can say you aren't stupid yourself. You have a lot to add into discussions even outside tennis which is a great quality to have. :)

I measure people more on how much they bring to the table and how much they have learned than someone who is just great at math and science. I was horrible at math in school.
Modesty can be clever. Some people deliberately play safe because it's important for them to stay popular. Notice the 'likes' and see how that rolls here on this forum. For some, image is everything.

Same with stupidity. Those who say they are stupid have different ideas about themselves in their mind. It also a form of seeking attention.
 

voldemort

Rookie
Modesty can be clever. Some people deliberately play safe because it's important for them to stay popular. Notice the 'likes' and see how that rolls here on this forum. For some, image is everything.

Same with stupidity. Those who say they are stupid have different ideas about themselves in their mind. It also a form of seeking attention.
LIke Fed.
 
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Deleted member 307496

Guest
Modesty can be clever. Some people deliberately play safe because it's important for them to stay popular. Notice the 'likes' and see how that rolls here on this forum. For some, image is everything.

Same with stupidity. Those who say they are stupid have different ideas about themselves in their mind. It also a form of seeking attention.
I hand out likes too easily LOL. Because I only have 8.5K likes someone said I am unpopular here. :(

But I also made a lot of posts before likes were implemented. Perhaps 15,000. So 8.5K out of 10K posts is alright, but I don't grovel over them either. I just post my opinion a lot of the time and here in Odds And Ends I just post about my life or other stuff outside tennis.
 

TheGhostOfAgassi

Talk Tennis Guru
“Rap phase”.

Oh jeez. Some aggressive music therapy needed.

What you don’t think you’re done having kids?

Being pissed off from the day I was born helps a lot with the understanding of kids.
I hated that dress and ponytails. You can see it.

I will not try to change my son in any way. I don’t talk to him about politics or try to brainwash him with my ways.

Rap music is what touches him so I don’t talk negative about it. This is his path. And if I know him right he will be over w rap in a year or two.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

voldemort

Rookie

Being pissed off from the day I was born helps a lot with the understanding of kids.
I hated that dress and ponytails. You can see it.

I will not try to change my son in any way. I don’t talk to him about politics or try to brainwash him with my ways.

Rap music is what touches him so I don’t talk negative about it. This is his path. And if I know him right he will be over w rap in a year or two.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Lol.

If I had kids I’d struggle with that admittedly. If I had a boy I’d probably try too hard to feminize him wanting him to be artistic and connect to people emotionally. I’d probably be better suited to raising a daughter for those reasons.
 

voldemort

Rookie
My parents were the same way with me. Other than teaching me morals and some Christianity they never tried to influence me. It just so happened I turned out to be a lot like them.

My mom and I are as similar as a mom with an autistic son can be.
 

TheGhostOfAgassi

Talk Tennis Guru
Lol.

If I had kids I’d struggle with that admittedly. If I had a boy I’d probably try too hard to feminize him wanting him to be artistic and connect to people emotionally. I’d probably be better suited to raising a daughter for those reasons.
Oh that’s no problem at all. I never tried to make my son very masculine. He is what he is and he has always been boyish. Instead of teddy in the bed he would cuddle with cars, before he could even talk. He has very little interest in girl stuff. I have done nothing gender wise in raising him.
 

Poisoned Slice

Bionic Poster

Being pissed off from the day I was born helps a lot with the understanding of kids.
I hated that dress and ponytails. You can see it.

I will not try to change my son in any way. I don’t talk to him about politics or try to brainwash him with my ways.

Rap music is what touches him so I don’t talk negative about it. This is his path. And if I know him right he will be over w rap in a year or two.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Rap might have a bad Rap. hehe I don't know. Maybe during the 90's with the whole gangster rap thing. We're all gonna hear swear words anyway, right? But nah, I still listen and I turned out OK. lol
 
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Deleted member 307496

Guest
Rap might have a bad Rap. hehe I don't know. Maybe during the 90's with the whole gangster rap thing. We're all gonna hear swear words anyway, right? But nah, I still listen and I turned out OK. lol
Well I was the biggest Eminem fan when I was 11 years old. I had all his albums and I went to see 8 Mile in the cinemas when I was 10. My Mum wasn't too impressed by the Brittany Murphy sex scene. LOL.
 

TheGhostOfAgassi

Talk Tennis Guru
Rap might have a bad Rap. hehe I don't know. Maybe during the 90's with the whole gangster rap thing. We're all gonna hear swear words anyway, right? But nah, I still listen and I turned out OK. lol
It’s even worse now than in the 90s.
I also love some rap, for example 50 cent I’ve listen to a lot, Nas, Snoop.
Its super over emotional XXX he loves. I would prefer if he rather listened to 2Pac or proper gangster rap lol
 

voldemort

Rookie
It’s a tenous line these days because on one hand you have this incredibly man hating culture in the west that goes way overboard with the “toxic masculinity” sthick, but at the same time I do personally really abhor certain “typical” male traits.

For instance I’d be pretty forgiving with a child normally but one thing I wouldn’t stand for is being a bully, I’d snap that right out of them.

I’m proud of the personality and interests I have and I wouldn’t want to be anyone else. Some people that encounter me think that I’m bisexual because of this, which isn’t the case. I’m not one dimensional, I can shed a tear to Sarah McLachlan one minute and enjoy a race the next. I wish I met more people like that.

Being a male is pretty much like a Jekyll and Hyde for me, keeping a ruthless monster contained inside.
 
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Deleted member 307496

Guest
It’s even worse now than in the 90s.
I also love some rap, for example 50 cent I’ve listen to a lot, Nas, Snoop.
Its super over emotional XXX he loves. I would prefer if he rather listened to 2Pac or proper gangster rap lol
Oh God.

My 23-year-old sister loves that XXX crap.

So much ugh.

It's more fair for a kid to like that stuff though. When I was a kid I liked all kinds of weird things. I used to watch Thunderbirds. LOL. I remember I cried when The Hood died. Nobody here might know who he was, but he was the bad guy. My Dad could not understand why I was crying.
 
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