YellowFedBetter
Hall of Fame
Haven’t posted here much recently with the FJW’s in full force. Been just fine on the private convo. Those that are participating in it already know the substance of what I’m writing here. Apologies though as this post will go on a lomg time, I’m bored outta my head with nothing to do now. But anyways here goes:
I’m seriously considering quitting the game for a few different reasons, but also one main and very sound one, which is: I never get to play.
I won’t go on too long here beating dead horses but as many people know it’s very difficult to get many playing opportunities if you don’t have a fairly high social economic status.
To be able to play on a regular basis you have to either 1. Be very lucky and have someone you know (a family member perhaps) who plays and cares about the game like you do, which the odds aren’t often great of unless (obviously) your family or friend group has a history of it.
Or 2. Get a membership to a tennis club. Which at least in my neck of the woods requires more money than anyone I know well could possibly afford.
Farther exacerbating the problem in my case is being autistic, with a mom in bad health and a dad who can no longer play with me. While a couple of these situation can improve it still won’t change the fact that I don’t have anyone to play with nor the means to easily find someone suitable.
In all the time I’ve done tennis the only people I’ve played are my dad, my “coach”, the one instructor I had, and about 10 people I’ve competed against only in competition (SO).
No one on my family has played tennis. Neither does my dad. But understanding the importance of it to me he stepped on the court as it was my only chance to play when I began. Despite not having ever played and receiving no instruction over time he became a reasonable if still not totally suitable partner (probably a 2.5). We played probably about 45 times from 2011-2016 (bulk of it in 2013).
I received lessons from an instructor at the tennis facilities of a college near me. I received 8 lessons from him from November 2012-December-2014. He was a decent one even if some of his “fixes” were a bit crutchy. But unfortunately he didn’t handle business affairs well, often playing deliberate phone tag with us and being elusive. My mom reminded me often that he was from a “different” world, and saw me as a clod who didn’t really belong in tennis. I finally got sick of it and called him out politely about his business practices and I haven’t had a lesson in over 3 years.
In 2014 I started playing SO tennis. The one full court player from my county just so happened to be the defending state champion. And his dad was the county coach. At first things seemed to go well, I went to the official practices and both of them worked with me a few times outside of these. I got to play probably about 30 times that fall total.
By the time next season rolled around though it was different. The coach worked with me very little (mind you it wasn’t really instruction but it is expected for the coach to work with the players and practice with each of the athletes, and not many showed up to practices), and he left me to play practice matches with his son, who without my being to able to play enough to be sharp, could easily beat me most of the time. It’s been this way each year since. Even a person who works for SO and has become a family friend said that he’s not going to help me best his son, which is understandable. But he also had made needling comments about my game I haven’t forgotten.
They’ll make “offers” to play with me occasionally now but they never follow through with them. But even if he did work with me in these events it wouldn’t really make a difference, but it’s still annoying.
Getting back to my main point, I have never had anybody really competent to play with. And now with our life situation even playing with my dad has been out the last couple of years. I played a grand total of 14 days last year. That included 5 Days that were part of tournament events. Somehow I still managed to get the silver in the top division (of my few proud accomplishments). Usually though I’m not so fortunate.
That was the last time I played until a month ago when I was in a indoor har tru tournament. As always I had to play with no practice or instruction against people that play a minimum of 50 times a year and often get good training. I played my guts out as always but lost 3 of 4 matches and didn’t medal. It was the same thing that happened the last two years there. Despite still getting cheered out of the building and high praise from my mom (who doesn’t give it away easily) I finally realized that it might just be best for me to stop with this. It hurts when you spend most of your life isolated and on the few occasions you do get to show what you’re capable of people only see your failures.
But I wouldn’t even care about that if I could just play for fun a reasonable amount of time. I got so desperate last summer that I took up an offer from a casual friend couple of ours to play tennis on a baking hot morning. Even though it wasn’t 90 degrees and it was shady a few hours after we played for an hour I got a horrible migraine and puked my guts out (sensory issues with autism is hell). That’s the only time I’ve gotten an opportunity like that in the last 3 years and I was willing to sacrifice my health that much for it.
As I said we’re not about to be buying a tennis membership anytime soon. And even if my mom’s situation improves and our family can do more things the tennis situation isn’t going to improve. Anyone we know from SO either is
1. Not a very high functioning person or player, not that I’m making light of that of course.
2. Won’t have anything to do with us (see above a few paragraphs).
Or 3. Is too far away. One of the guys who plays in these events is similar in functioning level to me and is almost equal in tennis ability to me as well. And he and his parents are super nice and also know other players in their area. Sadly they live JUST far enough away so that we could never get together..
So recently I’ve actually went to a driving range a couple of times and hit some golf balls seriously for the first time in 7 years. I used to be a big golf fan and practiced on ranges before my tennis interests took over. This week I hit my first ever 200+ yard shot on only my second time hitting recently. I feel some fire for a sport I once cared a fair amount for returning. I’ve realized that for all the (much of it warranted) hubbub in it’s history golf is now a much less elitist game than tennis. But most importantly: it doesn’t require another person to be able to play. This fall when SO rolls around I won’t be able to compete in the tennis tournament this year anyways because of the rules, so instead of participating in the tennis practices I’m strongly considering just competing in the golf. If my mom ever gets better I may even take my first lesson. And I might just dump my Babolat and get a fresh start in sporting life.
I’m still torn and it makes me sad, but there’s not much point in obsessing over a sport you can’t participate in when you have other decent options.
-End lamentation.
I’m seriously considering quitting the game for a few different reasons, but also one main and very sound one, which is: I never get to play.
I won’t go on too long here beating dead horses but as many people know it’s very difficult to get many playing opportunities if you don’t have a fairly high social economic status.
To be able to play on a regular basis you have to either 1. Be very lucky and have someone you know (a family member perhaps) who plays and cares about the game like you do, which the odds aren’t often great of unless (obviously) your family or friend group has a history of it.
Or 2. Get a membership to a tennis club. Which at least in my neck of the woods requires more money than anyone I know well could possibly afford.
Farther exacerbating the problem in my case is being autistic, with a mom in bad health and a dad who can no longer play with me. While a couple of these situation can improve it still won’t change the fact that I don’t have anyone to play with nor the means to easily find someone suitable.
In all the time I’ve done tennis the only people I’ve played are my dad, my “coach”, the one instructor I had, and about 10 people I’ve competed against only in competition (SO).
No one on my family has played tennis. Neither does my dad. But understanding the importance of it to me he stepped on the court as it was my only chance to play when I began. Despite not having ever played and receiving no instruction over time he became a reasonable if still not totally suitable partner (probably a 2.5). We played probably about 45 times from 2011-2016 (bulk of it in 2013).
I received lessons from an instructor at the tennis facilities of a college near me. I received 8 lessons from him from November 2012-December-2014. He was a decent one even if some of his “fixes” were a bit crutchy. But unfortunately he didn’t handle business affairs well, often playing deliberate phone tag with us and being elusive. My mom reminded me often that he was from a “different” world, and saw me as a clod who didn’t really belong in tennis. I finally got sick of it and called him out politely about his business practices and I haven’t had a lesson in over 3 years.
In 2014 I started playing SO tennis. The one full court player from my county just so happened to be the defending state champion. And his dad was the county coach. At first things seemed to go well, I went to the official practices and both of them worked with me a few times outside of these. I got to play probably about 30 times that fall total.
By the time next season rolled around though it was different. The coach worked with me very little (mind you it wasn’t really instruction but it is expected for the coach to work with the players and practice with each of the athletes, and not many showed up to practices), and he left me to play practice matches with his son, who without my being to able to play enough to be sharp, could easily beat me most of the time. It’s been this way each year since. Even a person who works for SO and has become a family friend said that he’s not going to help me best his son, which is understandable. But he also had made needling comments about my game I haven’t forgotten.
They’ll make “offers” to play with me occasionally now but they never follow through with them. But even if he did work with me in these events it wouldn’t really make a difference, but it’s still annoying.
Getting back to my main point, I have never had anybody really competent to play with. And now with our life situation even playing with my dad has been out the last couple of years. I played a grand total of 14 days last year. That included 5 Days that were part of tournament events. Somehow I still managed to get the silver in the top division (of my few proud accomplishments). Usually though I’m not so fortunate.
That was the last time I played until a month ago when I was in a indoor har tru tournament. As always I had to play with no practice or instruction against people that play a minimum of 50 times a year and often get good training. I played my guts out as always but lost 3 of 4 matches and didn’t medal. It was the same thing that happened the last two years there. Despite still getting cheered out of the building and high praise from my mom (who doesn’t give it away easily) I finally realized that it might just be best for me to stop with this. It hurts when you spend most of your life isolated and on the few occasions you do get to show what you’re capable of people only see your failures.
But I wouldn’t even care about that if I could just play for fun a reasonable amount of time. I got so desperate last summer that I took up an offer from a casual friend couple of ours to play tennis on a baking hot morning. Even though it wasn’t 90 degrees and it was shady a few hours after we played for an hour I got a horrible migraine and puked my guts out (sensory issues with autism is hell). That’s the only time I’ve gotten an opportunity like that in the last 3 years and I was willing to sacrifice my health that much for it.
As I said we’re not about to be buying a tennis membership anytime soon. And even if my mom’s situation improves and our family can do more things the tennis situation isn’t going to improve. Anyone we know from SO either is
1. Not a very high functioning person or player, not that I’m making light of that of course.
2. Won’t have anything to do with us (see above a few paragraphs).
Or 3. Is too far away. One of the guys who plays in these events is similar in functioning level to me and is almost equal in tennis ability to me as well. And he and his parents are super nice and also know other players in their area. Sadly they live JUST far enough away so that we could never get together..
So recently I’ve actually went to a driving range a couple of times and hit some golf balls seriously for the first time in 7 years. I used to be a big golf fan and practiced on ranges before my tennis interests took over. This week I hit my first ever 200+ yard shot on only my second time hitting recently. I feel some fire for a sport I once cared a fair amount for returning. I’ve realized that for all the (much of it warranted) hubbub in it’s history golf is now a much less elitist game than tennis. But most importantly: it doesn’t require another person to be able to play. This fall when SO rolls around I won’t be able to compete in the tennis tournament this year anyways because of the rules, so instead of participating in the tennis practices I’m strongly considering just competing in the golf. If my mom ever gets better I may even take my first lesson. And I might just dump my Babolat and get a fresh start in sporting life.
I’m still torn and it makes me sad, but there’s not much point in obsessing over a sport you can’t participate in when you have other decent options.
-End lamentation.
