Captains can make a team fun and productive, or they can cause folks to swear off USTA forever. Common courtesy from captains would include letting partners play together if that was the deal when the partners signed up.
Courtesy includes calling a match off due to rain as soon as possible, and not expect your players to suit up and drive off to some club a half-hour away in the rain just to confirm that the courts are too wet to play. (Yes, I know it is a huge headache to reschedule rain-outs. But I would like to have my Sunday afternoon free if it is clear that the 200 mile wide storm system is not going to suddenly evaporate in time for the match. Don't tell me your leaf blower works great drying hard courts so you thought we might be able to play.)
Captain courtesy includes telling players up front if the team will be hyper-aggressive (always playing the very best players available), or if the team will be more social and the members will play equally. I will play on either of those teams, but everyone should know the deal up front.
Captain courtesy means the captain should know where he fits in the talent line-up. Putting yourself at Singles 1 all the time, even though you lose every week, is not a great strategy.
Rant over.
In Cindy's case, the prospect proposed another player. At no point was it presented as a take it or leave it.
Just as many players will be pissed at you for calling a match for rain too early then to call it late. And nobody's happy when the matches are interrupted by rain and everyone has to find time to get all the same players back out there.
Captains often sacrifice themselves at 1 singles or 1 doubles to give the team a better chance to win. You don't often run into players volunteering to be sacrificed.
Have you captained a team? Sure doesn't sound like it.
Regarding Cindy's original post - the vast majority of people don't have the stones to have an upfront conversation, or to really understand where they are in a roster's pecking order. They'd rather hide behind lame excuses or unanswered emails. That's fine - there's always someone else who wants to play, and if some other captain wants to take on that headache, more power to them.