Sorry to ask all those questions, but usaully before re-examining your frame you have to re-examine your game....
But it sounds like your fundamentals are sound.
If you're looking for more flex or a softer more forgiving feel, try a soft multi at 60lbs., usually it will drop 5lbs. in a week, unless your a string breaker.
Demo some flexible frames, as far as heads go, I really like the RadicalMid+ and love the prestige mid and somewhat less the pro.
Like I said, I prefer a flexy frame, so I can toss my polys on there and still have comfort.
Good Luck.