How to Act After a Match Ends

[MiPeGr]

... they robbed the opposing team of getting to play a match.

They retired down 1-4 in the second, so our #3 court wasn't exactly "robbed"...they got to play most of a match.

I suppose it's possible that it was an injury...no reason was communicated, and nothing was obvious. Just strange coincidental timing that it happened after they had already last 2 courts & just went down 2 breaks in the second set.

 

[Turbo-87]

This is a perfectly acceptable way to leave a tennis club after any match.

 

[Doc Hollidae]

This is a perfectly acceptable way to leave a tennis club after any match.

How about this?

 

[Dartagnan64]

I'm surprised people making comments about why they lost bothers others. I often make comments after winning and losing.

If I just got smoked and couldn't run because of a nagging injury, I'll tell them that it would be fun to play again when my injury heals and I might give you a better match. If I lose a close one, I'll often comment to the opposition about his clutch play and how I wasn't clutch.
If I destroy my opponent and he comments that he hasn't played in ages or is nursing an injury, I'll comment that he played well for being rusty/injured.
If I get smoked by a superior player I'll thank them for showing me what I need to work on.

It's not hard to be truthful and complimentary and discuss the ins and outs of a match. I'm a thinker and so I like to go over a match and ask the opponent what their strategies were and why they did or didn't work. I've learned a lot about tennis that way.

 

[tennis tom]

How about this?

Rocket Boy, very cute!

 

[Nashvegas]

I'm surprised people making comments about why they lost bothers others. I often make comments after winning and losing.

If I just got smoked and couldn't run because of a nagging injury, I'll tell them that it would be fun to play again when my injury heals and I might give you a better match. If I lose a close one, I'll often comment to the opposition about his clutch play and how I wasn't clutch.
If I destroy my opponent and he comments that he hasn't played in ages or is nursing an injury, I'll comment that he played well for being rusty/injured.
If I get smoked by a superior player I'll thank them for showing me what I need to work on.

It's not hard to be truthful and complimentary and discuss the ins and outs of a match. I'm a thinker and so I like to go over a match and ask the opponent what their strategies were and why they did or didn't work. I've learned a lot about tennis that way.

It's one thing to have a conversation along the lines you describe where you get into layoffs, injuries, etc. A discussion is one thing. It's another thing (at least to me) if the first words at the handshake are about an injury that affected his play. It comes across as, "Congrats, you won. But I was hurt, so... don't read too much into it." Not the greatest example of sportsmanship.

If Federer's first comment in the press conference after a loss was about how an injury affected his play, would that go over well?

 

[dsp9753]

I'm surprised people making comments about why they lost bothers others. I often make comments after winning and losing.

If I just got smoked and couldn't run because of a nagging injury, I'll tell them that it would be fun to play again when my injury heals and I might give you a better match. If I lose a close one, I'll often comment to the opposition about his clutch play and how I wasn't clutch.
If I destroy my opponent and he comments that he hasn't played in ages or is nursing an injury, I'll comment that he played well for being rusty/injured.
If I get smoked by a superior player I'll thank them for showing me what I need to work on.

It's not hard to be truthful and complimentary and discuss the ins and outs of a match. I'm a thinker and so I like to go over a match and ask the opponent what their strategies were and why they did or didn't work. I've learned a lot about tennis that way.

The issue is that you are not giving your opponents credit after you lose a match and you start talking about your injury/issue/excuse immediately. For example, if you lose you can just say wow you played amazing, better then me. And leave it at that. The problem that people are having are, oh man my back/leg/knee watever hurts so bad. Or I haven't touched a racket in 6 years etc. It diminishes the opponents hard work and their better skills in beating you.

I try to tell my opponents after a loss that they played amazing and great win. There is no need to diminish their hard work/win by throwing out, great win BUT i haven't played in 3 weeks, BUT my legs are bad, etc etc.

How would you feel if you told someone, because of a nagging injury that it was fun to play but when i am better I will get you a better match. And they say it was a fun match and when you are better i might have to use 30% effort instead of 10%.

 

[Dartagnan64]

The issue is that you are not giving your opponents credit after you lose a match and you start talking about your injury/issue/excuse immediately. For example, if you lose you can just say wow you played amazing, better then me. And leave it at that. The problem that people are having are, oh man my back/leg/knee watever hurts so bad. Or I haven't touched a racket in 6 years etc. It diminishes the opponents hard work and their better skills in beating you.

I try to tell my opponents after a loss that they played amazing and great win. There is no need to diminish their hard work/win by throwing out, great win BUT i haven't played in 3 weeks, BUT my legs are bad, etc etc.

How would you feel if you told someone, because of a nagging injury that it was fun to play but when i am better I will get you a better match. And they say it was a fun match and when you are better i might have to use 30% effort instead of 10%.

I have no problem if the person was legitimately injured. I know I've beat guys who were injured and if they were healthy, they would have beat me. I know I've been injured and lost to people I normally beat. I don't think mentioning in conversation about the match is reducing the victors glory. Maybe he did win because of the injury. Should we glorify him beating up on an injured player?

Of course I always have a reply to the lame injury excuse. I just tell them that I'd play better too without a reconstructed shoulder and without amblyopia. Once they realize they lost to a one eyed no shoulder old guy, they shut up about their blister or hangnail.

 

[Nashvegas]

I have no problem if the person was legitimately injured. I know I've beat guys who were injured and if they were healthy, they would have beat me. I know I've been injured and lost to people I normally beat. I don't think mentioning in conversation about the match is reducing the victors glory. Maybe he did win because of the injury. Should we glorify him beating up on an injured player?

Of course I always have a reply to the lame injury excuse. I just tell them that I'd play better too without a reconstructed shoulder and without amblyopia. Once they realize they lost to a one eyed no shoulder old guy, they shut up about their blister or hangnail.

Let's set the scene. Match ends, hands are shaken, team mates come to carry off the victor. Loser stirs himself from his pout and stops them before they can exit the court: "Hey, just wanted to mention... I have a hernia."

Should the winner be lowered from his mates' shoulders as they slink away, unable to look at him lest he be unduly glorified?

 

[Moonarse]

Normally when I use this "excuses" at the net is mostly because in that specific match I played waaaay worse than I can play and I feel bad about it.

If it is someone I dont know, I always say that so I can have a second chance on proving I can be worth of a second try and we can play a great match.

I dont give a damn about the loss itself, It never bothers me to lose, I just hate it when I dont offer a challenge.

If I play my best game and get beaten 6-1 6-1 Ill got towards the net smiling and praising the opponent superior game and skills.

but if I lose by playing a match full of UE and without beeing able to keep it up with someone I know that I can, I normally say that something was wrong and "sorry I Dont play like that".

But never to disqualify his victory, mostly because I dont want him to think that "that is my game".

 

[tennis tom]

on any given day

 

[Maximus XXIV]

Why are you giving a mere stranger or acquaintance the power to diminish your enjoyment?

 

[Wesley J]

Why are you giving a mere stranger or acquaintance the power to diminish your enjoyment?

No one is a stranger/acquaintance after you compete against each other for 1-2+ hours that is the beauty of sport!

 

[Dartagnan64]

Let's set the scene. Match ends, hands are shaken, team mates come to carry off the victor. Loser stirs himself from his pout and stops them before they can exit the court: "Hey, just wanted to mention... I have a hernia."

Should the winner be lowered from his mates' shoulders as they slink away, unable to look at him lest he be unduly glorified?

I think the problem is the victor in a match shouldn't take it so seriously. It's rec tennis, there are lots of reasons for potential victory other than you are a better player.

When I mention an injury, it's less an excuse and more of an invitation to play again when I'm better. I never tell guys about my bum shoulder and depth perception issues. Those won't get better. But if I sprained my ankle yesterday, I will apologize for being a poor opponent and offer to play again when I can run again.

Of course if the guy is a jerk acting all superior, I'll just keep my mouth shut and go home. No reason to play those guys again.

 

[Wesley J]

I think the problem is the victor in a match shouldn't take it so seriously. It's rec tennis, there are lots of reasons for potential victory other than you are a better player.

When I mention an injury, it's less an excuse and more of an invitation to play again when I'm better. I never tell guys about my bum shoulder and depth perception issues. Those won't get better. But if I sprained my ankle yesterday, I will apologize for being a poor opponent and offer to play again when I can run again.

Of course if the guy is a jerk acting all superior, I'll just keep my mouth shut and go home. No reason to play those guys again.

You could always just tell them you got hurt and postpone the match.

 

[Startzel]

I had a guy that wouldn't shake my hand after I beat him tonight.

He then proceeded to tell me he could beat me up lol.

 

[Dartagnan64]

You could always just tell them you got hurt and postpone the match.

We have league nights. You play or try to find a sub, which can be hard on short notice. You can't rebook matches. You get points for you team only if you play, so it's better to play and get a few games than get a sub. Playoffs is determined by total games won by your team over the season. So lots of guys will play with minor injuries just to help accumulate games.

 

[Mongolmike]

I had a guy that wouldn't shake my hand after I beat him tonight.

He then proceeded to tell me he could beat me up lol.

There's got to be more to this story, but yeah, amazing what attitudes people bring to a court.

 

[Startzel]

There's got to be more to this story, but yeah, amazing what attitudes people bring to a court.

Yeah I filed and won a grievance earlier in the year against of his players. This same player got into a fist fight after a match in the spring.

 

[tennis tom]

Yeah I filed and won a grievance earlier in the year against of his players. This same player got into a fist fight after a match in the spring.

Seems he hasn't learned his lesson from losing the grievance. How come he hasn't been banned from the league? Sounds like he should be.

 

[Startzel]

Seems he hasn't learned his lesson from losing the grievance. How come he hasn't been banned from the league? Sounds like he should be.

Because we are a small local league and his club dominates the league by controlling the LLC slot. So he doesn't face punishment from the LLC.

Hopefully this will get him banned.

 

[MathGeek]

Am I the only one who thinks displays of perfect sportsmanship after a match often seem less than sincere?

I'd prefer sincere and honest over vanilla "perfect" sportsmanship any day of the week. If I won, I don't need my ego stroked any more. If I lost, honest feelings (about my game or theirs) are more valuable than nice words that seem harder to believe.

 

[Raindogs]

I offer no excuses when I lose and no false praise after vanquishing a foe.

 

[S&V-not_dead_yet]

Am I the only one who thinks displays of perfect sportsmanship after a match often seem less than sincere?

I'd prefer sincere and honest over vanilla "perfect" sportsmanship any day of the week. If I won, I don't need my ego stroked any more. If I lost, honest feelings (about my game or theirs) are more valuable than nice words that seem harder to believe.

You are not alone.

For some, it's just habit: they win and feel the need to compensate somehow by offering a compliment or making an excuse ["I just got lucky today"]. This is, of course, preferable to the ones who lose and feel the need to compensate by offering excuses ["You just got lucky today"].

Personally, one of the main reasons I play is that it's fun and part of the fun/enjoyment of a match is interaction with one's opponent. I will try to find something positive to say. I hope I don't come off as insincere.

Part of the problem seems related to the individual nature of singles. It doesn't seem to be as much of a problem in doubles. Also, when I played volleyball league, everyone knew everyone and it was a fun and competitive environment. Frequently, when another team was short players, people would get asked to sub for the team they had just played.

 

[tennis tom]

Because we are a small local league and his club dominates the league by controlling the LLC slot. So he doesn't face punishment from the LLC.

What a corrupt system!

 

[Nashvegas]

Am I the only one who thinks displays of perfect sportsmanship after a match often seem less than sincere?

I'd prefer sincere and honest over vanilla "perfect" sportsmanship any day of the week. If I won, I don't need my ego stroked any more. If I lost, honest feelings (about my game or theirs) are more valuable than nice words that seem harder to believe.

Sure, and it's all in the setting. If we're just exchanging a couple of words after the match, it should be good match, you too, enjoyed it, good luck, you got me today, look forward to seeing you again, etc. It's all just pleasantries at that stage. I don't want to have my one comment be that I was hurt and I'd prefer not to hear that either.

Once I do have a conversation I've found guys will give honest appraisals and feedback and I try to do the same. At that point you get beyond the "I was lucky today" talk and into, "Here's something I saw that you may want to work on. I took advantage of this." (Assuming they are open to hearing that.)

Maybe at this point as well someone brings up an injury that's been affecting their play, and it comes across a little better at that point and less like an excuse for losing. If nothing else, knowing about that might be useful as motivation to keep up the pressure in case they are in better shape next time.

 

[kevrol]

What a corrupt system!

And yet not all that unusual. LLCs we've had definitely have their favorites.

 

[ChaelAZ]

Classy and subtle

Roid rage

 

[kylebarendrick]

If Federer's first comment in the press conference after a loss was about how an injury affected his play, would that go over well?

That pretty much describes every single press conference Serena Williams has given after a loss...

 

[darkhorse]

I prefer pyrotechnics, especially if I win

 

[Nashvegas]

That pretty much describes every single press conference Serena Williams has given after a loss...

Goes over beautifully

 

[Dartagnan64]

Am I the only one who thinks displays of perfect sportsmanship after a match often seem less than sincere?

I'd prefer sincere and honest over vanilla "perfect" sportsmanship any day of the week. If I won, I don't need my ego stroked any more. If I lost, honest feelings (about my game or theirs) are more valuable than nice words that seem harder to believe.

This is why i like having frank open discussions about matches after as part of the post match discourse. I like to point out to my opponents what they did that gave me trouble and congratulate them for that. I also like to point out things that I was trying to do to attack their weaknesses so they understand why the match was tough. Maybe because I'm still in the learning stage of the sport but strategy and shot making chat after intrigues me.

But I get others don't. If I get that vibe, I'll shut up and just finish with "Nice Match, Thank you."

 

[NuBas]

Is this what Nick looks like after he wins LMAO

 

[NuBas]

Begin Rant...

Occasionally I'll play a match (both friendly matches and competitive/league matches) where I'll win and after coming to the net and shaking hands and exchanging the pleasantries and chit chat; some will say something to the effect of "You know I haven't played in X amount of time" or, if they are are older than me, they make sure to point out the age gap (this really makes me roll my eyes as I've been beaten by plenty older and slower, but more skilled players).

Honestly, this bothers me in both types of matches. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it feels like an unnecessary excuse that serves to diminish a win. Whenever I lose, I never say anything like that to my opponent. I chalk it up to them being better than me at that point and time and make it a point to play them again and win.

I was curious about other takes on this type of situation.

End Rant.

See man that is the downside to competition. Just have confidence in yourself and next time pound that person even harder and soak up the win. For me I started playing tennis for fun and sometimes I avoid competition because of these gamesmanship type of things. Some just want to win above all else and that is their only fun. Just be your humble self and find others like you.

 

[NLBwell]

I usually sign a few balls and hit 'em into the crowd.

Maybe I'll bring a marker in my tennis bag and actually do that after my next match.

 

[jm1980]

Classy and subtle

Classy and subtle indeed:

 

[ChaelAZ]

Classy and subtle indeed:

For sure, and fun.
8/10 in the tuck and roll form, 10/10 on pelvic thrust.

 

[AlliDoisServe]

I'm with you on the age thing OP.. If you don't want to play young guys in their 20's then stick to 40+.

 

[sovertennis]

When you win, say little; when you lose, say less,

 

[S&V-not_dead_yet]

When you win, say little; when you lose, say less,

"Better to keep my mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open my mouth and remove all doubt."

 

[bktennis78]

Everytime I win I tell my opponent you played very well today and shake their hands. Prefer to be elegant and classy than obnoxious.

 

[Deleted member 23235]

I usually tell them after a loss..I had a bad night of hookers and blow..They usually high five me

stealing this!

 

[Deleted member 23235]

"You know I haven't played in X amount of time" or, if they are are older than me, they make sure to point out the age gap (this really makes me roll my eyes as I've been beaten by plenty older and slower, but more skilled players).

rather than get upset (it stings me too, but i can play the high road, and shrug it off since i already got the W), if you really can't ignore it (or if the opponent truly is obnoxious, we need to come up with ready made counters:

Excuse: "i haven't played in X amount of time"
Counter: "i feel fat and lazy too when i haven't worked out in a while"

Excuse: "You know i'm 20y older than you"
Counter: "When i get to your age, i imagine myself playing much smarter tennis"

Excuse: "I didn't play that great today"
Counter: "I don't play well either, when i play someone better"

Others?

 

[Mongolmike]

rather than get upset (it stings me too, but i can play the high road, and shrug it off since i already got the W), if you really can't ignore it (or if the opponent truly is obnoxious, we need to come up with ready made counters:

Excuse: "i haven't played in X amount of time"
Counter: "i feel fat and lazy too when i haven't worked out in a while"

Excuse: "You know i'm 20y older than you"
Counter: "When i get to your age, i imagine myself playing much smarter tennis"

Excuse: "I didn't play that great today"
Counter: "I don't play well either, when i play someone better"

Others?

Oh man, those are some doozys, especially the 20yr older one! Wow! And the first one - fat and lazy...if one woman said that to another! OMG... fireworks for sure!

 

[TimeToPlaySets]

What I'd like to know is how people here lose to a pusher.
We all know that pushing wins.
How does the overhitting maniac deal with the loss? Not well.
But what does he say at the net ??

 

[TimeToPlaySets]

It's funny, I never get this type of reaction because I tend to overhit.
No one makes excuses when they lose to a 3.5 spazz who was getting balls in that day.

 

[S&V-not_dead_yet]

Excuse: "I didn't play that great today"

Counter: "No, you didn't."

 

[S&V-not_dead_yet]

What I'd like to know is how people here lose to a pusher.
We all know that pushing wins.
How does the overhitting maniac deal with the loss? Not well.
But what does he say at the net ??

"You hit like my little sister!"

"You didn't beat me; I beat myself."

"You kept hitting the ball in the wrong place."

"Well, I could play like that too if I wanted but I'm trying to play real tennis."

Rarely does one hear "You are so solid! Let's hit some time so I can get more practice with my accuracy."

 

[Deleted member 23235]

What I'd like to know is how people here lose to a pusher.
We all know that pushing wins.
How does the overhitting maniac deal with the loss? Not well.
But what does he say at the net ??

when i lose to a retriever/counter puncher (which is what a pusher really is, regardless of how technically sound their strokes are)... all i say is, "You played way too consistent for me today."

 

[SeeItHitIt]

People are definitely different in victory and defeat than how it's written up in the Sportsman Handbook. And there always seems to be a correlation between the guys who make bad line calls (err, USTA out) with the guys who lost only because of a bad day/sore back/dog ate thier homework.