I hope your wife doesn't read this!!
Good topic. Prior to my wife, I was in a 10 year relationship with someone I thought I would be with forever. We had similar interests, loved the same music, played tennis together, loved to cook, enjoyed fine food/drinks. Physical parts of the relationship were other-worldly.
But she was dishonest about deep-seated psych issues with me that only surfaced years into the relationship. I did my best to help out, got appointments with the best docs/specialists. She could be happy one minute, then virtually suicidal the next. She gave new meaning to the term jealousy, even with totally plutonic female friends from college, etc. One day she just came in and said " I don't want this anymore" and left, no ifs, ands or buts. No chance of counseling, etc. Just gone. I took it hard for a year or so but soon realized all the good was really outweighed by the bad. We fought a lot and she could get batsh*t crazy.
Our relationship was eighter a 10 or a 1, no in between.
But everything with my wife is soooo easy. We never fight. We have a number of different interests but plenty similar. She's cool as a cucumber. Her attitude is the same as my favorite girlfriend from college...I know who you're coming home with. Women can flirt with me when I'm out (I bartended in college, so it was a daily thing), though I don't return the favor (usually
), but she knows where my bread is buttered. She's so confident/sure of herself. Pretty much every day is pleasant. Do we have that explosive connection that I had with girl #1? Maybe not but it's very close. And I appreciate every other aspect of life so much that I couldn't be happier. Like Drakulie said, you live and learn. If girl #1 was still in my life, we would be totally miserable. She was good for my 20's but not my 30's. I try to look at things like that. Every relationship happened for a reason and lead me to this point in life. I literally would nevr have met my wife without dating #1 because at the time, she convinced me to move somewhere I was against. But it worked out great for me! My wife is who I was meant to be with and someone I can imagine growing old with. Good luck.