Don't use your phones during a match: Pissed off!

Lazerus

Lazerus

New User
People really need to get a life in USTA league.

:)

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dear captain,

last nite v. team XX played with YY ZZ against AA and BB...
i noticed that during the change-overs BB was texting on his device or appeared to be doing so...after the match my partner YY told me he noticed the same thing...neither one of us said anything to BB...

while this did not impact the match of course it was a little annoying and distracting watching BB tap away at his device...i am simply bringing this to your attention fyi and am not in any way accusing BB of anything like on-court coaching!!!

other captains or players might not be as understanding as me and XX...

XX
================================================

USTA league is so lame..............seriously.

I quit!

:)
 
r2473

r2473

G.O.A.T.
Lazerus = BB

Come one BB. There's plenty of time to text on the drive home.

Sheesh.

By the way, what was so important that you had to text on changeovers?
 
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Lazerus

Lazerus

New User
Nah hes a team mate actually...and yeah I actually saw him doing it (I was on different court) and it is rude, but for the love of God to go around sending emails to coordinators?

Jesus!
 
r2473

r2473

G.O.A.T.
I'm going to guess that BB is 25 or younger and the opponents are older.

Do kids text while having sex these days (or is that considered rude)?
 
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raiden031

Legend
USTA leagues are full of people on power-trips. This is not news.

It is nobody's GAWD damn business what any player does with their phone during a changeover. Its a friggin *recreational* league! Coaching? Coaching really? Some stupid B- in 6.0 mixed accused my wife of coaching me because she stopped by to say hi during a changeover. Really I'm going to have *secret* coaching during a 6.0 mixed match? Are you freakin serious?
 
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raiden031

Legend
r2473 said:
"Don't ask, don't tell"

By the way (and I have to ask), what DO you do with your phone during a changeover?
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I don't touch my phone unless I'm checking the time.

I mean that person who wrote the email is an idiot:

"Gee I was distracted (Distracted during a changeover? By someone texting? Seriously?) but I don't want to make any accusations of wrongdoing, but I felt it was worth sending you an email expressing my concerns."
 
Lazerus

Lazerus

New User
Heres the deal, the guy that did it is a phone ho, but for a 50 year old man to send this email out is just plain idiotic.

Gotta love the amateur cell phone coaching!

Muahahaha!!!

USTA league is such a joke.

:)
 
D

dizzlmcwizzl

Hall of Fame
Lazerus said:
Heres the deal, the guy that did it is a phone ho, but for a 50 year old man to send this email out is just plain idiotic.

Gotta love the amateur cell phone coaching!

Muahahaha!!!

USTA league is such a joke.

:)
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I am most surprised we are talking about men here. I am not trying to be too terribly sexist .... but to send an e-mail about a possible, albiet unlikely, rules violation after the match is not something I would associated with a dude.
 
r2473

r2473

G.O.A.T.
raiden031 said:
I mean that person who wrote the email is an idiot:

"Gee I was distracted (Distracted during a changeover? By someone texting? Seriously?) but I don't want to make any accusations of wrongdoing, but I felt it was worth sending you an email expressing my concerns."
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Lazerus said:
Heres the deal, the guy that did it is a phone ho, but for a 50 year old man to send this email
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I got the feeling that it was an older guy annoyed at a young guy texting all the time. A generational thing. Young people think nothing of texting anywhere at anytime about anything to anyone. It's just part of their culture. Older people tend to find the habit annoying.

I'm not casting a "right" or "wrong" vote. Just pointing out different cultural norms for different generations.

Personally, I find the incessant texting habit annoying. But, I also notice grass is green and the sky is blue. In other words, I'm not going to change people's habits and society has seemed to (more or less) approve of cell phone use in most places and situations (and those places and situations are expanding all the time).

Just for fun when my wife is driving, I will sometimes physically count the cars where the driver is and is not talking on their cell phone. The numbers that are on their cell phone is probably not as high as some might think (I usually see about 20% or 1 in 5 people), but that number is slowly increasing over time (used to be closer to 10% not so long ago).
 
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raiden031

Legend
r2473 said:
I got the feeling that it was an older guy annoyed at a young guy texting all the time. A generational thing. Young people think nothing of texting anywhere at anytime about anything to anyone. It's just part of their culture. Older people tend to find the habit annoying.

I'm not casting a "right" or "wrong" vote. Just pointing out different cultural norms for different generations.

Personally, I find the incessant texting habit annoying. But, I also notice grass is green and the sky is blue. In other words, I'm not going to change people's habits and society has seemed to (more or less) approve of cell phone use in most places and situations (and those places and situations are expanding all the time).

Just for fun when my wife is driving, I will sometimes physically count the cars where the driver is and is not talking on their cell phone. The numbers that are on their cell phone is probably not as high as some might think (I usually see about 20% or 1 in 5 people), but that number is slowly increasing over time (used to be closer to 10% not so long ago).
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I am all about good ettiquette when it comes to phone usage. Its rude to text at the dinner table, but during a changeover? How is the opponent impacted by texting during a changeover?
 
r2473

r2473

G.O.A.T.
raiden031 said:
I am all about good ettiquette when it comes to phone usage.
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Ask anyone and they will say they are mindful of good phone etiquette (and can't stand those *******s that talk / text on their phones at inappropriate times).

Of course the real question is, who defines "good phone etiquette"? What times are "inappropriate"? Ask a 16 year old and a 50 year old and you are likely to get VASTLY different answers.
 
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raiden031

Legend
r2473 said:
Ask anyone and they will say they are mindful of good phone etiquette (and can't stand those *******s that talk / text on their phones at inappropriate times).

Of course the real question is, who defines "good phone etiquette"? What times are "inappropriate"? Ask a 16 year old and a 50 year old and you are likely to get VASTLY different answers.
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The older they are, the more close-minded they tend to be. So I take that into consideration.

Common sense would say that changeover time is not a time to get social with your opponent, so why should your opponent care what you are doing as long as you are ready to resume play in 90 seconds?
 
r2473

r2473

G.O.A.T.
raiden031 said:
The older they are, the more close-minded they tend to be. So I take that into consideration.
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I think this is where the name calling begins in most arguments.

In matters of opinion, there is no "right" or "wrong" per se. It is simply based upon cultural norms. I'm simply pointing out that cultural norms are different for age, race, gender, geography, religion, etc.

It's not that texting on changeovers is wrong in the way 1+1=3 is wrong. It is simply "wrong" in some people's opinion. And the fact that there is no real way to appeal who is "right" to a higher authority (although, that is clearly what the 50 year old is attempting to do in this case) makes the situation irresolvable (and conflict inevitable).

Next topic: What is proper driving etiquette?

Do you know that I have never met a self-described bad driver (except that character in "Great Gastby"), but I hear reports of them all the time. A paradox.

Come to think of it, I often hear reports of people using phones at inappropriate times but I have yet to meet a person that claims to use them at inappropriate times. How can this be?????

I hear reports of people acting inappropriately on the tennis court (like here for example), but have yet to meet a person who claims to act inappropriately. A real puzzler (Zeno would be proud I think).
 
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jmverdugo

jmverdugo

Hall of Fame
If it doesn't take a ridiculous amount of time then, what is the problem? I do it and some of my friends do it and we are grown up men. The thing is some of us work and sometimes our jobs require our attention out of the regular working times. Sometimes answering an email or a phone call can be the difference on making a good bussiness or giving a good service or solving an emergency situation.

On the other hand, I hate people that doesn't use the silent mode on their phones, one thing is answering or checking it on a change over, but the phone ringing while I am serving is not acceptable.
 
Lazerus

Lazerus

New User
The guy wasn't doing it every change-over, maybe once or twice.

Tons of people do it.

Anyhoo, I've sent in my resignation, resignign form the USTA, looking forward to ATP Futures events for the coming year.
 
Cindysphinx

Cindysphinx

G.O.A.T.
It is against the rules in our league to have a cell phone turned on during a match. The penalty is loss of point.

Raiden, if you were playing in my league, you'd abide by that rule, right?

FWIW, I think it is very rude to text in any situation where you should be giving someone your attention. This includes store clerks and dinner companions. It is also rude to text in any situation in which the noise of your clicking or the glare of your screen is distracting to others (in a theatre).

I text plenty. I try not to be rude about it. Come on, people. You are not so important that you have to have high-tech contact with others 24/7.

Forgive my ire on this subject, but I have been having a squabble with my husband about this issue. He believes it is terrible if I don't answer his text or call to my cell promptly. I believe I should take calls and texts when it is convenient for me to do to so. So that is what I do.

Cindy -- who confiscates her kids' phones if they text at a restaurant, and who finds it appalling when people take cell phone calls in the middle of a book club discussion rather than excusing themselves and taking the call outside
 
A

Annika

Semi-Pro
Cindy, Your husband is wrong. :) Just pretend to go along with it. :?

We have a lady who is a Realtor and her cell rings constantly. She can hear it ringing and checks her messages when we change sides. BTW this is not USTA. However, she wastes our time while she's listening to messages etc. :twisted: I find it annoying. I thought maybe she was pretending to delay continuing to play as a psychological ploy. See how nuts it makes me! :shock:
 
Topaz

Topaz

Legend
Lazerus said:
Anyhoo, I've sent in my resignation, resignign form the USTA, looking forward to ATP Futures events for the coming year.
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You sent in your resignation? From USTA league? And who, pray tell, did you send it to? LOL

Buh-bye! *waving*
 
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Austinthecity

Rookie
Would the younger guys have said something to the older guys if they started catching "out" balls before they bounced? It saves them walking. It's a "generational" thing.

The point is, whether or not the old guys are out of touch with society, using electronic devices on changeover are against the rules.

Now, I'll admit that I've done it. I'll admit that I probably break some etiquette rules, but only against friendly players. If I'm playing someone I don't know I'll make sure I follow etiquette to a tee.

Say what you want about it's not a big deal (because, well, it's not), but it is technically against the rules.
 
JRstriker12

JRstriker12

Hall of Fame
IIRC - The use of phones/texting was also not allowed at districts with point penalty associated with it.

I generally don't have a problem with it in informal hit-arounds and matches. I've answered a call on change-overs when hitting with friends - etc. I don't mind if it goes off accidentally (happened to me when I thought I turned it off.)

But, if you can't play for about 1.5 hours without texting, then you have a problem.

And yes, based on some of the behavior of at least one captain I ran into this weekend, I wouldn't put it past some players/captains to try to text-coach as sad as that may sound.
 
JRstriker12

JRstriker12

Hall of Fame
West Coast Ace said:
What would they type? 'Push better?!?'
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How do those hand signals work at the pro matches? You can say whatever you need to say in different ways.

Eat a banana???
More low slices to the backhand?
Call a footfault to rattle him.

-Whatever they might say verbally. Whatever they thought could give their player the edge.

If this hasn't happened already, I doubt the would have already moved to ban it.

Coaching is still coaching.
 
r2473

r2473

G.O.A.T.
"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so". - Hamlet

"Conscience is but a word that cowards use, devised at first to keep the strong in awe". - King Richard III

"The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose" - The Merchant of Venice

"Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall". - Measure for Measure

"The better part of valour is discretion". - King Henry IV, Part I

"The smallest worm will turn, being trodden on". - King Henry IV, Part III

"I'll not budge an inch". - Taming of the Shrew

"Nothing will come of nothing." - King Lear

"My salad days, when I was green in judgment." - Antony and Cleopatra

"Everyone can master a grief but he that has it". - Much Ado About Nothing

"The common curse of mankind, - folly and ignorance". - Troilus and Cressida
 
J

JavierLW

Hall of Fame
Wow, I cant imagine what the letter might of said if the person was wearing their bluetooth headset while they were playing.

(which Ive seen before in 3.0 men's)

Nothing says "I dont give a rip about what Im doing right now but IM VERY IMPORTANT!!!!", then a guy wearing a bluetooth headset while he's playing.

But I dont see how it's distracting, just very funny to watch.
 
West Coast Ace

West Coast Ace

G.O.A.T.
JRstriker12 said:
How do those hand signals work at the pro matches?
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Pros are playing for more than little plastic trophies... and their matches are a little more subtle (that was the point behind my sarcastic 'push better' quote) - hard to believe at a rec level someone doesn't know what they need to do to win (e.g. relax, get all the returns in, play to their BH, etc...) - they usually just can't do it. Now, when you get to the sectional and national levels, pitting sandbagger vs. sandbagger...

JRstriker12 said:
If this hasn't happened already, I doubt the would have already moved to ban it.
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I'm not condoning cheating - but I would assume this was done more because of time constraints than because someone thought someone was going to receive coaching. Maybe Cindy can tell us what the thought process was for her league.
 
JRstriker12

JRstriker12

Hall of Fame
West Coast Ace said:
Pros are playing for more than little plastic trophies... and their matches are a little more subtle (that was the point behind my sarcastic 'push better' quote) - hard to believe at a rec level someone doesn't know what they need to do to win (e.g. relax, get all the returns in, play to their BH, etc...) - they usually just can't do it. Now, when you get to the sectional and national levels, pitting sandbagger vs. sandbagger...

I'm not condoning cheating - but I would assume this was done more because of time constraints than because someone thought someone was going to receive coaching. Maybe Cindy can tell us what the thought process was for her league.
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Just because I play for fun doesn't mean that I like someone cheating or should tolorate it. Kind of ruins the whole "we're playing for fun - so you shouldn't need to cheat" type thing.

In spite of this fact plenty of people find plenty of ways to cheat - for example - all those underrating sandbaggers that get them to sectionals etc. so they can collect plastic trophies. (Damn those plastic trophies!!! *shakes fists*).

I will say though, an outside observer often sees something that the player in the heat of the moment doesn't - especially a rec player. Nearsightedness is often why rec players fail - its the source of many, many "I hate pusher threads."

I'm sure with my clinic coach sitting over my shoulder and giving suggestions, I might make a change that might be helpful of affect the match or even get a bit of a confidence boost.

Think about it, in a fair NTRP match where players are closely matched and one or two points is a difference - a small change could turn the tide. I'm not saying that a coach is going to help a 4.0 beat a sandbagging 4.5.

Point is - no matter what you play for, coaching is still cheating in the books. And yes, sometimes delay of match can be a cheating/gamesmanship tactic too.
 
Xisbum

Xisbum

Semi-Pro
r2473 said:
"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so". - Hamlet

"Conscience is but a word that cowards use, devised at first to keep the strong in awe". - King Richard III

"The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose" - The Merchant of Venice

"Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall". - Measure for Measure

"The better part of valour is discretion". - King Henry IV, Part I

"The smallest worm will turn, being trodden on". - King Henry IV, Part III

"I'll not budge an inch". - Taming of the Shrew

"Nothing will come of nothing." - King Lear

"My salad days, when I was green in judgment." - Antony and Cleopatra

"Everyone can master a grief but he that has it". - Much Ado About Nothing

"The common curse of mankind, - folly and ignorance". - Troilus and Cressida
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Kind Sir, THAT's a post of which you can be proud, methinks.

On the OP point, I really don't care what opponents do during a changeover - play Monopoly, chess, stirp poker, whatever - as long as they are on the other side ready to play when it's time. But that's just one opinion from one who is scraping the crumbs from the dessert dish. :)
 
Cindysphinx

Cindysphinx

G.O.A.T.
In the middle of the most recent winter season, the league coordinator circulated a message to captains, asking them to forward it to their players. The message advised of a new rule regarding cell phones. The message did not explain the reason for the new rule, so I could only speculate.

No electronic device, including a cell phone, may be used on
court for any purpose, including timekeeping (but nothing bars
use of a cellphone to track time off the court). 2010 USTA
Regulations now require that players’ cellphones be turned
off and placed where they cannot be seen, except for
emergency medical personnel who are “on call,” who must
place their cellphones in “vibrate” mode. If a player’s
cellphone rings during play, it is a deliberate hindrance, loss
of point.
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Since then, I have not heard of anyone attempting to enforce the rule. I try to remember to tell my players before the match begins to turn off their phones, but sometimes I forget.

I suppose if an opponent put her cell phone right out on the bench and took a call during the match, I might politely say something. Most likely I would ignore it, however. They would have to abuse the rule pretty severely before I would get my knickers in a twist.

And yes, Annika, I don't much like it when social players take calls during matches. You're supposed to be socializing or playing, especially when we all paid for the court time. Every now and then and with a good excuse, OK. If you need to do this a lot, maybe you are just too important for social tennis.
 
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Fedace

Fedace

Banned
Lazerus said:
People really need to get a life in USTA league.

:)

================================================
dear captain,

last nite v. team XX played with YY ZZ against AA and BB...
i noticed that during the change-overs BB was texting on his device or appeared to be doing so...after the match my partner YY told me he noticed the same thing...neither one of us said anything to BB...

while this did not impact the match of course it was a little annoying and distracting watching BB tap away at his device...i am simply bringing this to your attention fyi and am not in any way accusing BB of anything like on-court coaching!!!

other captains or players might not be as understanding as me and XX...

XX
================================================

USTA league is so lame..............seriously.

I quit!

:)
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Do you think this is more annoying or a guy that acts like Leyton Hewitt ?? I ask this because i act like Hewitt in a USTA match and some guys don't seem to like it. Of course......My cellphone is OFF and sometimes i just leave in the car.....:):)
 
r2473

r2473

G.O.A.T.
Fedace said:
Do you think this is more annoying or a guy that acts like Leyton Hewitt ?? I ask this because i act like Hewitt in a USTA match and some guys don't seem to like it.
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Does your level of play match? If so, I wouldn't have a problem at all.

Now, if you just do it to be an ass.........I guess I would think it was funny for a while. If it persisted, I might start to think that you had a mental condition and had forgotten to take your meds.
 
Fedace

Fedace

Banned
r2473 said:
Does your level of play match? If so, I wouldn't have a problem at all.

Now, if you just do it to be an ass.........I guess I would think it was funny for a while. If it persisted, I might start to think that you had a mental condition and had forgotten to take your meds.
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I only do it cause i play so much better when i do it. my level goes up about 1/2 level when i do that. of course most of my doubles partners don't mind but my Opponents,,,it is a different matter....
 
r2473

r2473

G.O.A.T.
Fedace said:
I only do it cause i play so much better when i do it. my level goes up about 1/2 level when i do that. of course most of my doubles partners don't mind but my Opponents,,,it is a different matter....
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Now for the really important question: Is you wife / girlfriend as hot as Bec?
 
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raiden031

Legend
Cindysphinx said:
It is against the rules in our league to have a cell phone turned on during a match. The penalty is loss of point.

Raiden, if you were playing in my league, you'd abide by that rule, right?

FWIW, I think it is very rude to text in any situation where you should be giving someone your attention. This includes store clerks and dinner companions. It is also rude to text in any situation in which the noise of your clicking or the glare of your screen is distracting to others (in a theatre).

I text plenty. I try not to be rude about it. Come on, people. You are not so important that you have to have high-tech contact with others 24/7.

Forgive my ire on this subject, but I have been having a squabble with my husband about this issue. He believes it is terrible if I don't answer his text or call to my cell promptly. I believe I should take calls and texts when it is convenient for me to do to so. So that is what I do.

Cindy -- who confiscates her kids' phones if they text at a restaurant, and who finds it appalling when people take cell phone calls in the middle of a book club discussion rather than excusing themselves and taking the call outside
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I think the same rule applies in my league. I never turn off my phone, but I have enough decency to set it to vibrate because a ringing cell phone during a point can be annoying. A vibrating phone is not going to be heard while its in my bag.

r273, I agree with Cindy that the rule of thumb that texting is rude "in any situation where you should be giving someone your attention". During a changeover you certainly aren't giving your opponent your attention.

Also r273 I disagree with your point about people never admitting that they act inappropriately. Most people I know are willing to admit their faults, whether it be driving or rude phone habits. Sure a stranger who I confront might be defensive and deny it, but if i'm talking to a friend casually, they won't deny that they cut someone off in the car the other day while in a hurry.

I think the golden rule applies in most situations. I couldn't care less that someone is texting during a changeover, therefore I don't think its reasonable that someone would make a big stink about it and tattle to their captain / league coordinator. That is so childish.

If I'm driving down the highway, I shouldn't have to slam on my breaks when someone is entering my lane. Good etiquette would be for them to enter when there is room for them to enter without nearly clipping my bumper. Turn signals are helpful as well. Also good etiquette is not waiting til the last second to get on a congested exit ramp with a long line of cars so that you can bypass all the cars waiting and jump to the front of the line, crossing a solid white line (illegal) in the process.
 
D

duketennisgal

Rookie
We just finished up states here in NC over the 4th of July weekend. One thing we were told is that no electronic devices were even allowed on the court. It sounded like people had been caught coaching through texts during matches in previous years.

I think if you are playing competitive tennis you follow the rules. If the rules state no cell phones while playing then that includes texting.

For those that say what could somebody really say through texting that the players shouldn't already know, well I had a very similar conversation with somebody on the court yesterday. This person didn't realize that every time they served out wide our opponent would hit a really good angled return. I told her to serve it more at the body instead of trying to pull him out wide. We talked about it and came to the conclusion that sometimes when you are playing it's hard to pick up on things you should be doing, but it's very easy for somebody watching to pick it up.
 
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Cindysphinx

Cindysphinx

G.O.A.T.
Raiden,

I guess I don't understand why, if the rule clearly says your phone should be off, you wouldn't just turn it off? You might make a mistake and think you've set it to vibrate when you haven't, or an alarm might go off. Or someone might hear it vibrate if it is up against something.

So what do you have to gain by allowing it to vibrate during a match?
 
r2473

r2473

G.O.A.T.
raiden031 said:
Also r273 I disagree with your point about people never admitting that they act inappropriately. Most people I know are willing to admit their faults, whether it be driving or rude phone habits. Sure a stranger who I confront might be defensive and deny it, but if i'm talking to a friend casually, they won't deny that they cut someone off in the car the other day while in a hurry.

I think the golden rule applies in most situations. I couldn't care less that someone is texting during a changeover, therefore I don't think its reasonable that someone would make a big stink about it and tattle to their captain / league coordinator. That is so childish.
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I guess my point is this:

"Inappropriately" or "rude", etc. are subjective terms. You would only admit to such behavior if you recognize your actions as such. People can easily recognize "inappropriate" behavior in others (and how they were so unjustly wronged), but they often don't see the inappropriateness of their own actions.

There are two (basic) reasons for this. First, people are uncomfortable admitting fault. But more importantly, people often have different standards of "appropriate" behavior and don't see what they did as wrong, while someone else might. Just a difference of opinion. To make it even more complicated, I have noticed people often hold others to standards they don't hold themselves to....often because there was an overriding circumstance so the rules didn't apply to them at that moment. Self justification is a tricky business :).

So, back to this all important "cell phone texting on changeovers" issue. Clearly, you have different standards than the "old dudes" in the OP's original post. Are you more right than they are? Don't worry, its not a trick question. You can be more right if you want to be. This is the position both of you will take. So, how do we resolve this? Typically we either yell at each other or we silently hold grudges (or something in between).

Do you want to know how I handle these tricky situations (I'm sure you are dying to know). If someone is yelling at me for "inappropriate" behavior, I will typically verbally agree with them (most people just want to be acknowledged). I may or may not actually change my behavior however, but I will try to do things in a way that will not agitate them (or at least agitate them less). Of course most people are "too smart" to confront a person directly. Most of us "uber smarties" will either silently hold grudges (and tell our friends about these rude people) or we will go to a higher authority to resolve the matter (like the old dudes).

If I "catch" someone acting "inappropriately" (and we all love to point out others faults), I usually won't say anything to them, I won't coyly talk to someone else loudly so the person can hear me, in fact I won't do anything. And you might find this hard to believe, but I also won't tell my wife, friends, or people at cocktail parties about "these idiots I had to deal with the other day". All I'll do is post about it on message boards to strangers :)

For both cases the assumption is that the issue isn't "important" in any real sense of the word. If the issue is actually important, then I have decide on a course of action (but few things really rise to that level for me).
 
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R

raiden031

Legend
Cindysphinx said:
Raiden,

I guess I don't understand why, if the rule clearly says your phone should be off, you wouldn't just turn it off? You might make a mistake and think you've set it to vibrate when you haven't, or an alarm might go off. Or someone might hear it vibrate if it is up against something.

So what do you have to gain by allowing it to vibrate during a match?
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Its a hassle to turn my phone off especially when I forget to turn it back on and people can't get ahold of me, and also I like to see any missed calls since people don't always leave voicemails. And finally, I like to check the current time sometimes during a changeover.

If I leave my phone on 'ring' and it rings, then I'm willing to accept enforcement of the rule. However my phone is almost always on vibrate in every day life that its rare for this to occur.

So really I just don't care very much for the rule that a phone must be 'off', but instead 'silent' is usually good enough.

But regardless of the rule, I just can't imagine why somebody really feels compelled to send an email about witnessing somebody sending text messages during a match. Does this person not have a life that this concern was worth writing an email about?
 
D

decades

Guest
this is gamesmanship of the highest order. no way should your player be subjected to such an arrogant display. Your player has the patience of a saint...
 
R

raiden031

Legend
r2473 said:
I guess my point is this:

"Inappropriately" or "rude", etc. are subjective terms. You would only admit to such behavior if you recognize your actions as such. People can easily recognize "inappropriate" behavior in others (and how they were so unjustly wronged), but they often don't see the inappropriateness of their own actions.

There are two (basic) reasons for this. First, people are uncomfortable admitting fault. But more importantly, people often have different standards of "appropriate" behavior and don't see what they did as wrong, while someone else might. Just a difference of opinion. To make it even more complicated, I have noticed people often hold others to standards they don't hold themselves to....often because there was an overriding circumstance so the rules didn't apply to them at that moment. Self justification is a tricky business :).

So, back to this all important "cell phone texting on changeovers" issue. Clearly, you have different standards than the "old dudes" in the OP's original post. Are you more right than they are? Don't worry, its not a trick question. You can be more right if you want to be. This is the position both of you will take. So, how do we resolve this? Typically we either yell at each other or we silently hold grudges (or something in between).

Do you want to know how I handle these tricky situations (I'm sure you are dying to know). If someone is yelling at me for "inappropriate" behavior, I will typically verbally agree with them (most people just want to be acknowledged). I may or may not actually change my behavior however, but I will try to do things in a way that will not agitate them (or at least agitate them less). Of course most people are "too smart" to confront a person directly. Most of us "uber smarties" will either silently hold grudges (and tell our friends about these rude people) or we will go to a higher authority to resolve the matter (like the old dudes).

If I "catch" someone acting "inappropriately" (and we all love to point out others faults), I usually won't say anything to them, I won't coyly talk to someone else loudly so the person can hear me, in fact I won't do anything. And you might find this hard to believe, but I also won't tell my wife, friends, or people at cocktail parties about "these idiots I had to deal with the other day". All I'll do is post about it on message boards to strangers :)

For both cases the assumption is that the issue isn't "important" in any real sense of the word. If the issue is actually important, then I have decide on a course of action (but few things really rise to that level for me).
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I usually handle things similarly. If someone annoys me, I usually keep it to myself, but I'll maybe rant to my friends and family about it later on as well as the TW board.

However if someone were to confront me about something I'm doing that annoys them, then I might challenge them to explain how what I am doing is any of their concern. If they can't provide a good reason, then I ignore them and continue doing as I please.

I consider myself and my public behavior fairly reasonable around all types of people. There are just some people who are so anal or on such a power-trip that there is nothing you can do to please them. So if something I do that is so none of their business bothers them, then there's nothing else they can do but kiss my ***.
 
Cindysphinx

Cindysphinx

G.O.A.T.
raiden031 said:
Its a hassle to turn my phone off especially when I forget to turn it back on and people can't get ahold of me, and also I like to see any missed calls since people don't always leave voicemails. And finally, I like to check the current time sometimes during a changeover.

If I leave my phone on 'ring' and it rings, then I'm willing to accept enforcement of the rule. However my phone is almost always on vibrate in every day life that its rare for this to occur.
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Interesting. Thanks for explaining.

Me, I don't care much about who called me but didn't leave a message. If they wanted something, they would leave a message. If they didn't, then as far as I'm concerned the call didn't happen.

I wear a watch, so I don't use my phone to check the time. To interact with my phone, I need to fish the phone out of the bottom of my purse and then fish out my reading glasses. If it vibrates while in my purse, I will only know about it 50% of the time.

I think all of that shows why I couldn't care less whether my phone is on or off!
 
Rabbit

Rabbit

G.O.A.T.
^^^^^
Unfortunately, some of us are on call 24X7 and have to leave it on. I put mine in my bag and put it on silent, but still need it on.
 
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