Basalt Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

The cargo hatch closed with a whirr and clunk, and my rescuer engaged the propulsion engines dictating forward thrust. She took off smoothly, her hands light on the controls displayed a supernatural calm that only comes from a history of dangerous missions.

The unmistakable aroma of a new starfighter wafted into my nostrils, and I risked a glance at her instrument panel to see how far it had traveled; a mere 500 parsecs.

As she achieved cruising speed, the Lexus class starfighter squawked in protest sounding its alarm chime because I had not engaged my safety harness. I ignored the alarm, and my rescuer did not demand that I engage my harness for she could sense my penchant for dangerous living.

"Where can I bring you?" she asked innocently, for in truth the answer was plain to see.

"The nearest drinking establishment, if you would be so kind." I played along.

"I know just the place." she affirmed, a mischievous glint in her eye.

She piloted her craft expertly, deviating from the main lightpaths, and onto lesser used routes weaving around through back alley paths acknowledging without words that she understood that it was paramount that I stay below the radar.

We had pleasant conversation, and I told her of my mission. "Ah, yes, The Lipton." she said, letting slip the name of the intergalactic battle as it was referred to in ancient times. I wondered just how many missions she had been on, as I would have suspected that she would only know it as 'The Nasdaq'. Perhaps she had employed some sort of sorcery to alter her appearance.

Such things were not of my concern however, and I enjoyed our time together as she proved to be a quite pleasant, and intelligent person. She told me that she had recently returned from a two month mission in the Asia galaxy, and I got the impression that such things were the norm for her. She was the type of person you could speak to for hours and feel as if only an eyeblink had passed; I felt somewhat saddened that our time together would be soon ended.

"There it is." She announced, pointing out a cantina across the lightpath. Deftly she maneuvered her starfighter in an about face to achieve the proper direction of travel on the lightpath, and expertly docked her craft, opening the cargo hatch for me to reclaim my possessions.

I thanked her, and she brushed off my gratitude saying "Don't get into any fights now."

"Oh, don't worry about me, I'm a lover, not a fighter." I jokingly replied.

"It is not you that I am worried about. The crowd here can be a little rough." She said with a smile, her mischievous way taking delight in delivering me into a proverbial hornet's nest.

"That's ok; I'm also a fighter." I replied confidently, departing with a wave.

And then she was gone. I faced the door to the establishment taking a moment to gather myself, wholly unsure what to expect on the other side.

J

And???????

next chapter please

what the heck come on jolly I need a study break release. I want to read epic poetry on the same level as virgil and homer. commence the story!

I surveyed the perimeter of the establishment briefly, but could not garner much information as the windows were blacked out. I located the entry point in short order, and, prepared to face anything, firmly gripped the cool metal of the door pull. I had never known fear in all of my days, and this one would be no different. Imperious to my core, I swung the door open, brazenly striding through the portal with my cargo canister in tow.

The establishment was desolate, not a single patron graced it despite its capacity to hold many.

The golden haired maiden who was the guardian of the suds studied me with interest and a smile. I could not tell if her smile was one of pleasure or barely contained mirth, but such trivialities concerned me not for I brimmed with confidence that I could win her over to my side.

Rolling my cargo canister up to the bar, and extracting myself from my messenger bag, I hopped up onto the stool in a bold demonstration of my inherent athletic ability, and extended her the traditional greeting of my home world.

"Hayadoin?"

J

Go, J011y!

One day in the far future, my grandchildren will be asking me to tell them the story how I witnessed the genesis of intergalactic epic masterpiece, more glorious and (hopefully!) more voluminous than War And Piece!

Our biggest glory lies in anticipation...

"What can I get ya?" she queried with raised eyebrow indicating that I surely was not the normal sort to be gracing this establishment with my presence, and certainly not with bright red Wilson cargo in tow.

"A Miller Lite please." I responded while surveying her form. She had been on a few more missions than I, but had all the right things in all the right places.

I gazed longingly upon her form as she activated the tap lever releasing the suds into a frosted pint glass, and a grin began to spread on my face, I was finally in my element.

There were questions that needed to be asked, and it wouldn't do to have us both skirting the obvious looming questions. With the subtlety of a sledgehammer I initiated the conversation. "So...Where are all of your customers?"

A puzzled look came over the maiden's face and she shrugged. "We are usually much busier."

Overlooking her poor sentence construction, I engaged her with my trademark witty banter. "Ah, they likely knew I was coming. I usually have that effect on people." If she was impressed with my knowledge that affect and effect were different words, and that I could use either properly she hid it well, cracking a smile and suppressing a chuckle. I continued undaunted, "Well, you are stuck with me for a while, my comrades were delayed in our home galaxy as their transport ship was intercepted on the ground."

"Just the two of us then?" she replied, in a manner suggesting that she was not terribly opposed to the prospect.

"Indeed." I confirmed. I told her the vague outline of our mission, prying for details about the local goings on. It had been a few years since I had visited the Lauderdale system, and I needed information. I asked where we should go and what we should do when not occupied with our mission. The first thing she did was list a number of places and areas that I should avoid because the crowd there would be too young for me.

Instantly she realized that she had made a grievous error as all of my mirth and cheer evaporated, and a gray pallor came over my face.

J

Epic.

Full frontal Bassault.

She backpedaled furiously, not knowing how to extricate herself from suggesting that she thought advanced age had slowed my reflexes to such a point where I was no longer capable of going on missions with freshly minted aeronauts.

I laughed off her explanation, not wanting to cause a rift in our newly founded friendship granting her the traditional ceremonial pardon of my home system "Fuhghettaboutit."

She seemed relieved that I would not hold the slight against her, and asked if I would like to order any food. I explained that this was not that type of evening, so she replenished my depleted pint glass, and our conversation resumed. We spoke pleasantly for some time, and she gave me much local information, and replenished my glass many more times.

There was a contest of arms being aired on the broadcast monitors; the Miami Heat Battalion was being shown as they had been on a nearly historical run of victories. I told her that we had considered going to view one of their combats during our mission, but the maiden explained to me that due to their streak of victories it was quite costly to view them.

She told me that she hailed from the Indiana galaxy, and that the natives there supported the battalions who carried their flag unfaltering, no matter how many defeats they suffered at the hands of their oppressors. She spoke of the denizens of the Florida galaxy with derision, calling them 'fair weather fans' who abandoned all support of the battalions after a few defeats, but now claimed ardent support during the run of victories.

A couple of hours ticked by, and then, slowly customers began to trickle into the cantina.

As the thin filament of patrons began to weave its way through the establishment, I knew the night was about to get more interesting.

J

God, I've missed all this, just checked the previous post. Seems like a sequel to Neuromancer !

Have to take out time to read the whole thing.

The power supply on my com device was running low, and my internal pressure was mounting; I had to find a power source, and a hydrostatic decompression chamber with all speed.

Patrons began filing in at a sustained pace and it would be at the minimum three hours before I could expect reinforcements. The time for action was now. Rummaging through my supplies, I retrieved the power cable for my com device, and handed it over. "M'lady, might I partake in some of your voltage?" I asked with a smile, dismounting from my stool in order to seek out the hydrostatic decompression chamber.

As sure footed as a mountain goat despite the quantity of suds coursing through my veins I began to explore. I made my way through an archway into another room equipped with card and billiard tables as well as other gaming devices. With no time to spare for investigation due to my rapidly mounting internal pressure I made haste to the far reaches of this back room until I stood before two doors.

Knowing first hand the dire consequences which would be visited upon me should I choose the wrong door, I sought to locate the identification placards. The door to my left read "Pirates" the door to my right read "Wenches". I grinned broadly knowing my kind was indeed welcome here.

Bursting through the door I began to unfasten the access panel to my relief valve. Quickly I moved aside the layers of armor surrounding my valve in order to avoid collateral damage.

I exhaled with relief as the crisis was averted. It took quite some time for my internal pressure to normalize as I was gifted with a reserve tank of far greater capacity than that of most mortals.

After resecuring my access panel, I sanitized my hands, and headed back to see what new development awaited.

J

J011yroger said:

[...] "M'lady, might I partake in some of your voltage?" [...]

Click to expand...

I'm using this line for sure...

PS. the unorthodox use of the word "goat" was interesting.

Your fans await......................................... BHBH

Why is it taking so long??

The next installment was sabotaged by spring-like mid 70s temperatures the past couple of days.

So nice to play outside.

J

Just another day at the office.

J

^^^^

Oh my..... The above picture has HERO written all over it!:shock:

At first, I got Bonnie Tyler's I Need A Hero sounding loudly in my head, but then J011y looks so Mel Gibson-ish on this pic that I couldn't help it but hear Tina Tutner screaming that We Don't Need Another Hero....

I can't help but whistle the A-Team theme every time I drive her.

J

Your red Saab?

rommil said:

Your red Saab?

Click to expand...

Different one. We are lousy with them.

J

natalia said:

^^^^

Oh my..... The above picture has HERO written all over it!:shock:

At first, I got Bonnie Tyler's I Need A Hero sounding loudly in my head, but then J011y looks so Mel Gibson-ish on this pic that I couldn't help it but hear Tina Tutner screaming that We Don't Need Another Hero....

Click to expand...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?annota...&feature=iv&src_vid=x8W4DEMUSeM&v=innzSEX-zU0

J

With lightened load, I made my way back to the bar to find my cargo unmolested. My com device was charging so I would need to entertain myself in the manner of my ancestors, by actually interacting with other people.

If my past was any indication, no effort on my part would be required, I would only have to wait with a look of disinterest upon my face, and people would come to me seeking my attention. The crowd was still sparse, but I felt confident. Feigning interest in the broadcasts upon the various monitors I waited patiently, like a spider....

I did not have to wait for long, some distance to my left sat a woman of substance. She wore the accouterments of matrimony upon her left hand, and sat beside a stout man who looked as if he had given her said accouterments. She ignored him completely, and struck up a conversation with me.

J

Hi J011y. I'm enjoying this thread. I've witnessed your unusual yet effective tennis style, your absolutely wonderful, albeit somewhat streaky, backhand slicing ability, and now am discovering your verbal agility, and I must say that I'm quite favorably impressed. Are you guys coming to South Florida again next year?

I would crush my testes with a brick to have you, pickle pie and Dennis here with me in Vegas RIGHT NOW.

JoelDali said:

I would crush my testes with a brick to have you, pickle pie and Dennis here with me in Vegas RIGHT NOW.

Click to expand...

I myself would not do that, however some extremely less extreme sacrifice would not be out of the question if it might secure a revisitation of that unique threesome to my area.

Yes, let's not do THAT! BHBH

Hey, J011yroger, I have collected every installment so far in a single document. If you want it, just give me your e-mail.

(But get a couple more chapters in it!)

If jolly is really a mechanic crazy about tennis I am a fan'

J011yroger said:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?annota...&feature=iv&src_vid=x8W4DEMUSeM&v=innzSEX-zU0

J

Click to expand...

Crushing hard on J011y this morning for no particular reason.

Is there a publication schedule for this serial? Or should I wait 6 months and check back? BHBH

patience guys... J011y is probably busy basalting somewhere...

Mr. Pickle, and Dennis are currently watching The Immortal's mixed doubles glory. I begged out of attending in order to compile some more entries into my tale.

Also, I have been smote down by sickness (which would explain my general grouchy disposition yesterday, and the fact that I was out cold asleep at 7:30pm yesterday).

So here I sit with a cup of peppermint tea whilst my glorious sweatervest is being sanitized in the hopes of its perseverance against the dreadful ketchup stain which had maligned it at lunch today.

J

Also, I am now the proud owner of these amazing shorts which I found at Neiman Marcus.

It will take more than a runny nose, headache, and dubious cognative ability to keep me from shopping.



J

I remember little of my conversation with the married woman, and her husband, but they were good, salt of the earth types of people. I vaguely recall vowing to defend their seats with my life against the burgeoning tide of patrons flowing in as they exited the premises in order to smoke their death sticks.

The night began to blur, as nights are wont to do.

In defiance of all earlier indicators the establishment ended up packed to near capacity. I partook in several more libations as the night went on, and journeyed many more times to the hydrostatic decompression chamber. I have vague recollection of a card game of some sort being carried out in a back room.

I looked at my timepiece, a relic of a bygone era before the general populace relied upon their com devices for time keeping. What was normally an ornament of my unparalleled style, and phenomenal taste became a valuable tool in the absence of my com device.

With my timepiece indicating that the hour had passed midnight, I knew that soon I would have to retrieve my com device in order to re-open the lines of communication with the others as they would soon be landing.

It took some time, and I needed to call upon my rarely used sign language skills in order to retrieve my com device, as the lovely bar maiden was overwhelmed by the swarming crowd.

The night progressed in slow, and blurry fashion into the wee hours of morning, the crowd began to thin out, and I was able to look around and survey the prospects.

My com device lit up, and an encrypted transmission came through. The others had landed, and successfully rendezvoused. Knowing that the time of my rescue was nigh, I smiled. I looked up from my com device to find that a young lass had snuck up next to me while I had uncharacteristically let my guard down.

I was unable to tell how much her decision making ability had been compromised by drink, and so concluded that she must have been of somewhat sound mind. I engaged her in benign conversation, deflecting her advances deftly, choosing subtlety over my normal bluntness not wanting to inflict harm upon her self esteem, while biding my time until her winsome friend came over to check on her.

My com device flashed again, and a message indicated that the contingent was at the rental counter in the process of procuring our starship for the mission.

The hour had struck two, and the time of last call was upon me. The young lass who sought my affection was relentless in her assault, and I knew that should I not be rescued soon I would be in dire peril. I looked again to my com device to see a second encrypted message had come through, there was trouble at the rental counter, the leasing corp had tried to hoodwink Dennis, and was unprepared for the fury which the perpetually blustery Dennis was able to summon in an instant.

The time to settle my tab had come, and I was prepared for a mighty tariff for at my closest approximation I had imbibed no less than fourteen and no more than seventeen Miller Lites. Looking down at the ticket laid before me, I was stunned to see that my bill was a paltry ten imperial credits. I looked up to the blonde haired maiden who had been serving me in shock, and she smiled beautifully. Rationing out funds far in excess of my bill, and leaving them behind for the maiden, I surveyed the scene.

The friends of the lass who had been vying for my affection came over to collect her, for the time of the closing was at hand. One of her friends, a petite raven haired beauty with exemplary hindquarters had long ago caught my eye. Wasting no time once she was in proximity to me, I explained that it was imperative that I examine her posterior in a tactile manner.

As I held her close and groped her firm and shapely buttox, palpable waves of jealousy filled the air and I knew it was time to flee.

"On our way." the new message from Pickle read.

"Hurry, I am in dire peril." I replied, as a number of folk gathered around me attempting to convince me to accompany them to the next establishment which did not close until the fourth hour of the morning.

I attempted to refuse politely, but they would have none of it, as they tried to drag me bodily along with them. They grasped at my person, and my garments pulling me towards the exit, and I tried to deceive them, explaining that I was infected with the bubonic plague, and that it would be ill advised for me to enter their transport vehicle. They were not fooled by my deception, and even as I fought my way free of their grasp, they implored that I accompany them.

Extricating myself from their group, I bid them a heartfelt farewell, and with my cargo canister at hand waited on the front step of the establishment for my rescue.

Several minutes later, I saw a white blur fly by the establishment at high speed, and though I could make out no details I knew at once that it was my rescue ship.

My prediction proved accurate, as it slowed on the lightpath after passing me by, and made an about face at the next intersection.

It was a glorious sight as our rented ship docked to retrieve me, I was saved.

J

J011yroger said:

The time to settle my tab had come, and I was prepared for a mighty tariff for at my closest approximation I had imbibed no less than fourteen and no more than seventeen Miller Lites. Looking down at the ticket laid before me, I was stunned to see that my bill was a paltry ten imperial credits. I looked up to the blonde haired maiden who had been serving me in shock, and she smiled beautifully. Rationing out funds far in excess of my bill, and leaving them behind for the maiden, I surveyed the scene. J

Click to expand...

TomT said:

Hi J011y. I'm enjoying this thread. I've witnessed your unusual yet effective tennis style, your absolutely wonderful, albeit somewhat streaky, backhand slicing ability, and now am discovering your verbal agility, and I must say that I'm quite favorably impressed. Are you guys coming to South Florida again next year?

Click to expand...

Are the two perhaps related? :twisted: BHBH

J011yroger said:

Also, I am now the proud owner of these amazing shorts which I found at Neiman Marcus.

It will take more than a runny nose, headache, and dubious cognative ability to keep me from shopping.

J

Click to expand...

I would guess you already have these patterned shorts from previous purchases........... Maybe interest you to check out the darker styles in the Atelier in Soho or maybe Damir Doma

rommil said:

I would guess you already have these patterned shorts from previous purchases........... Maybe interest you to check out the darker styles in the Atelier in Soho or maybe Damir Doma

Click to expand...

I do have a very similar pair, but they are a more faded out, casual style frayed at the ends as well.

These are much brighter, and more vibrant than they appear and of a stouter cloth. Almost sufficient to pair with a navy blazer.

J

rommil said:

Maybe interest you to check out the darker styles in the Atelier in Soho or maybe Damir Doma

Click to expand...

Lol, we all know I am more of a Nordstrom/Saks/Neiman Marcus/Bloomingdales kind of guy.

Nordstrom is the one I agree with most, and I am 50/50 on Saks.

J

Selected quotes from Mr. Pickle yesterday.

"You do look kind of ridiculous. Well, not kind of, I think you've finally made it."

"She completely ignored you, almost as if she knew you."

And there was one other good one which I forgot.

J

Our glorious ship!

We forgot to name her though.

Guys?



J

J011yroger said:

Selected quotes from Mr. Pickle yesterday.

"You do look kind of ridiculous. Well, not kind of, I think you've finally made it."

"She completely ignored you, almost as if she knew you."

And there was one other good one which I forgot.

J

Click to expand...

I remember now.

"You whack your head into something full force, and the first thing you do is check your hair?"

J

J011yroger said:

Our glorious ship!

We forgot to name her though.

Guys?

J

Click to expand...

Dodge Starship Trooper
MillenniumGOATMobile
White Man Van
StarfishDennisGOATTraveler

JoelDali said:

Dodge Starship Trooper
MillenniumGOATMobile
White Man Van
StarfishDennisGOATTraveler

Click to expand...

If we were all white I would go with "white man van." Has a nice ring to it.

Probably have to go with "millenniumgoatmobile". It works.

Have to give an honorable mention to "starfishdennisgoattraveler." Will consider that name for my first born. That and Willis.

Pickle9 said:

If we were all white I would go with "white man van." Has a nice ring to it.

Probably have to go with "millenniumgoatmobile". It works.

Have to give an honorable mention to "starfishdennisgoattraveler." Will consider that name for my first born. That and Willis.

Click to expand...

You don't give a damn about me or ******.

Jolly's dying.

I spoke to his personal gastroenterologist and she said that he is suffering from a lack of scotch. It is a rare condition now but it was fairly common when Scottish immigrants were coming over by the boatload.

Pray for jolly, please.

It's a temporary cure but give him 30 hard boiled eggs, he will be ok.

If my guessing is right, it's J011yDay today!
WOW - 17 is the greatest day for a birthday EVER!

Happy b'day, J011y!

Thinking about J011y tonight. Feeling fresh and super sexi. Birthday suit love steadfast locomotive.