I was recently playing what was supposed to be a friendly fun tennis match. Maybe not even a real match. We were playing just for fun. My partner really didn't know the 2 opponents. I was somewhat acquainted with both of them. It was not tennis that counted on anyone's record for anything. Anyway we had just started...I believe we were in the 2nd game of the 1st set and my partner who loves to play the net aggressively came in to poach. She hit the ball pretty hard but not at anyone and didn't hit anyone [it was a great poach shot]. The opponent said, "Please don't hit the ball close to me". Anyway at this point, I do not want to say how my partner handled that comment, but I'm wondering how you would handle it, what is an appropriate response, if an opponent has any business making such a request, etc. After I get enough responses, I will share with you how my partner handled it and see what you think about that.
Aggressive Poaching - Opponents Request
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kylebarendrick
Professional
I have found that there are a lot of women in particular that get really uptight about balls hit in their direction. I hear stories from my wife all the time with similar statements from her opponents in actual matches. If someone said that to me in a group of friends I'd probably tease them to some degree. In an actual match I'd just ignore them (or maybe acknowledge their statement and poach even more aggressively since I know they don't like it).
If I didn't actually hit you, then frankly I don't want to hear any complaints. Heck, even if I hit you below the waist with a volley I still don't want to hear any complaints. That's just tennis.
If I didn't actually hit you, then frankly I don't want to hear any complaints. Heck, even if I hit you below the waist with a volley I still don't want to hear any complaints. That's just tennis.
schmke
Legend
To which you can respond, "Please don't stand near where I intend to hit the ball"? Or "Please stand off the court and I won't hit it close to you"?
Or "perhaps you should play 2 back then."
OnTheLine
Hall of Fame
yeah, I don't get this. In women's 3.0/3.5 you do hear this and it completely baffles me.
I am very aggressive at net, and love my OH. My response is often "I don't want the ball to come back" if I hear something like that.
Don't let it bother you, keep playing your game ... don't give it another thought.
I am very aggressive at net, and love my OH. My response is often "I don't want the ball to come back" if I hear something like that.
Don't let it bother you, keep playing your game ... don't give it another thought.
OnTheLine
Hall of Fame
I just want to add that when I have gotten tagged, more usually by a man and suddenly receive a barrage of apologies, my answer is "dude, I play tennis, I expect to get hit!"
There are some times when it veers into the territory of malicious and unecessary, but that is extremely rare.
There are some times when it veers into the territory of malicious and unecessary, but that is extremely rare.
Thanks, I would like to hear from some females as this is ladies tennis and I have a feeling there is absolutely no guy out there who would ever say what this lady said so the female perspective is most appreciated!
S&V-not_dead_yet
Talk Tennis Guru
That person has a view of tennis which is at odds with the way I play it and the way everyone I know plays.
However, it's highly unlikely I will change he opinion with logic. Since it's a friendly match, I'd do everything I could to hold back and I'd avoid playing her in the future because holding back that much is not fun.
However, it's highly unlikely I will change he opinion with logic. Since it's a friendly match, I'd do everything I could to hold back and I'd avoid playing her in the future because holding back that much is not fun.
Thanks for your response...I think this is Kevin, you know me, well not personally, but online. Anyway my response to your response was LOL, but again these are old ladies and I'm not sure they would think your response quite as funny as me.
S&V-not_dead_yet
Talk Tennis Guru
The only exception is hitting at someone's head. I do not do that.
OnTheLine
Hall of Fame
BTW, lady here ... so you got my female perspective and in my group of league teams, I do not believe I am all that unusual.
schmke
Legend
Yep, it is Kevin.
And yes, I did make the response somewhat in jest. If it is just friendly doubles with nothing on the line, I probably would try to accommodate their request and like @kevrol said try to work on other parts of my game or placing the ball to other spots that can still win the point. But at some point, if you are on the court and don't like the way the points are going, you do need to move to a spot that makes you more comfortable.
S&V-not_dead_yet
Talk Tennis Guru
Like on the bench...assuming no one put their bag on it.
Dartagnan64
G.O.A.T.
I have a friend at the club who is like this. She was in a car accident and required quite extensive facial reconstruction with plastic implants, etc. She gets quite freaked out by balls whizzing close to her face. So we make sure we don't hit too close to her upper body whenever we play. Sometimes there is a reason.
But for the most part, if you are afraid to get struck by a ball then you should play at the back of the court or only play singles. There is no reason for a most people to request a ball not come near them in doubles net play. As Ivan Lendl famously said, "I didn't invite them to the net." It's not your job to avoid them if they are there.
But for the most part, if you are afraid to get struck by a ball then you should play at the back of the court or only play singles. There is no reason for a most people to request a ball not come near them in doubles net play. As Ivan Lendl famously said, "I didn't invite them to the net." It's not your job to avoid them if they are there.
Thanks to everyone for all of your input and to those who may still respond in the future. Originally I said I would tell you how my partner responded to the comment, "Please, don't hit the ball near me." as I would like to get your opinion on how she handled this situation.
She did not say anything to this opponent who had made the request. She backed off of the net. Shared with me her obvious displeasure and disbelief with what she had heard and then proceeded for the next hour and a half to not play her game (at all). She is a high level 4.0 and at best she looked like a 3.0 the rest of the time. She did not move from where she stood to hit a ball. If it came close, she swatted at it just to get it over the net and let the opponents put it away. Really close to 0% effort...basically quit playing. I, as her partner, had to try to go for anything and everything. Opponents started to only hit to me so that they could at least have a little bit of fun. My partner saw only 2 options: do what she did or totally quit and walk off the court. What is your opinion of how she handled this situation? Would any of you quit like this under these circumstances? Do you think she owes me, her partner, any kind of apology for her behavior?
She did not say anything to this opponent who had made the request. She backed off of the net. Shared with me her obvious displeasure and disbelief with what she had heard and then proceeded for the next hour and a half to not play her game (at all). She is a high level 4.0 and at best she looked like a 3.0 the rest of the time. She did not move from where she stood to hit a ball. If it came close, she swatted at it just to get it over the net and let the opponents put it away. Really close to 0% effort...basically quit playing. I, as her partner, had to try to go for anything and everything. Opponents started to only hit to me so that they could at least have a little bit of fun. My partner saw only 2 options: do what she did or totally quit and walk off the court. What is your opinion of how she handled this situation? Would any of you quit like this under these circumstances? Do you think she owes me, her partner, any kind of apology for her behavior?
5sets
Hall of Fame
Tell her to go play tiddlywinks or scrabble if she can't hang.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G928A using Tapatalk
OK....HERE IS THE REST:
Thanks to everyone for all of your input and to those who may still respond in the future. Originally I said I would tell you how my partner responded to the comment, "Please, don't hit the ball near me." as I would like to get your opinion on how she handled this situation.
She did not say anything to this opponent who had made the request. She backed off of the net. Shared with me her obvious displeasure and disbelief with what she had heard and then proceeded for the next hour and a half to not play her game (at all). She is a high level 4.0 and at best she looked like a 3.0 the rest of the time. She did not move from where she stood to hit a ball. If it came close, she swatted at it just to get it over the net and let the opponents put it away. Really close to 0% effort...basically quit playing. I, as her partner, had to try to go for anything and everything. Opponents started to only hit to me so that they could at least have a little bit of fun. My partner saw only 2 options: do what she did or totally quit and walk off the court. What is your opinion of how she handled this situation? Would any of you quit like this under these circumstances? Do you think she owes me, her partner, any kind of apology for her behavior?
Dartagnan64
G.O.A.T.
Presumably a social match so I don't think anyone needs to apologize. You got to hit more balls so it seems like a winning situation on your part.
But I don't think going into a shell is the right response by your partner. It doesn't teach the opponents how to deal with aggressive net play. It reinforces that they can get into the opponents head by complaining about aggressive play. It angers your partner who now has to make up for you not playing the game.
The right response would be for you partner to state that she will continue to play balls aggressively at the net, will not try to hit the opponent but that could be a potential outcome if they refuse to dodge or play back and that it's inappropriate to ask opponents to play a different sport when you all signed up to play tennis. Ok well maybe that last bit was snarky.
S&V-not_dead_yet
Talk Tennis Guru
That's the logical response and quite reasonable. However, the request was illogical so maybe logic won't work?
Ladies 4.0 tennis: My partner who loves to play the net aggressively came in to poach. She hit the ball pretty hard but not at anyone and didn't hit anyone [it was a great poach shot]. The opponent said, "Please don't hit the ball close to me". How you would handle this comment, what is an appropriate response, does an opponent has any business making such a request?
My partner did not say anything to this opponent who had made the request. She backed off of the net. Shared with me her obvious displeasure and disbelief with what she had heard and then proceeded for the next hour and a half to not play her game (at all). She is a high level 4.0 and at best she looked like a 3.0 the rest of the time. She did not move from where she stood to hit a ball. If it came close, she swatted at it just to get it over the net and let the opponents put it away. Really close to 0% effort...basically quit playing. I, as her partner, had to try to go for anything and everything. Opponents started to only hit to me so that they could at least have a little bit of fun. My partner saw only 2 options: do what she did or totally quit and walk off the court. What is your opinion of how she handled this situation? Would any of you quit like this under these circumstances? Do you think she owes me, her partner, any kind of apology for her behavior? [She is not just a player playing social tennis with me as her partner, she is a good friend]
My partner did not say anything to this opponent who had made the request. She backed off of the net. Shared with me her obvious displeasure and disbelief with what she had heard and then proceeded for the next hour and a half to not play her game (at all). She is a high level 4.0 and at best she looked like a 3.0 the rest of the time. She did not move from where she stood to hit a ball. If it came close, she swatted at it just to get it over the net and let the opponents put it away. Really close to 0% effort...basically quit playing. I, as her partner, had to try to go for anything and everything. Opponents started to only hit to me so that they could at least have a little bit of fun. My partner saw only 2 options: do what she did or totally quit and walk off the court. What is your opinion of how she handled this situation? Would any of you quit like this under these circumstances? Do you think she owes me, her partner, any kind of apology for her behavior? [She is not just a player playing social tennis with me as her partner, she is a good friend]
OnTheLine
Hall of Fame
I am shocked that this is 4.0 level ... I would have guessed much lower given the circumstances. Was this a league match?
No, I would not quit like that under any circumstances or anything close to what you described.
No, your partner doesn't owe anyone an apology, just as you wouldn't owe her an actual heartfelt apology for having a terrible match yourself, beyond "sorry partner, not myself today"
No, I would not quit like that under any circumstances or anything close to what you described.
No, your partner doesn't owe anyone an apology, just as you wouldn't owe her an actual heartfelt apology for having a terrible match yourself, beyond "sorry partner, not myself today"
In a league or tournament match, I definitely would have told the opponent they need to play back and if they didn't move back, direct the next one at their bellybutton. For a social match, I probably would have just tried not to hit at them and then not played with them anymore (similar to kevrol).
milk of amnesia
Legend
It seems to me as though your partner may have been thrown for a loop by the request and didn't know how to respond. The original request, "Please don't hit balls close to me," is an inappropriate request at the 4.0 level and this should have been pointed out at the time. If there were special circumstances which made this request reasonable, then the opponents should have explained that at the time that they/you requested the match so you and your partner could make a decision as to whether you even wanted to play the match under those circumstances.
Unfortunately, people don't always act the way we want.
I would not have quit playing under these circumstances. Since it's just a social match, I would have talked it over with my partner and come to some agreement as to what to do. It seems you and she didn't do that. Do you think you owe her an apology because you could have discussed what to do, but didn't?
To be honest, it seems like you may be turning a molehill into a mountain (or just looking to blame your partner) - it was a meaningless social match after all. In the future, if weird stuff comes up during a match, take just a moment to discuss it with your partner - not to complain, but to come up with some kind of agreement as to what you both are going to do and then move on.
milk of amnesia
Legend
Whoops! Double post. 
OrangePower
Legend
There's playing just for fun, where the result is meaningless but everyone still wants to play a good game, and then there's playing for giggles and laughs, where it's more about sharing the court with friends while playing semi-cooperatively.
Evidently your partner was expecting the former but your opponents the latter. I can't really blame your partner for her behavior since she probably didn't know what to do in the moment. Who set the match up? It just seems like mismatched expectations.
Anyway, in that situation I would have continued to play, but focusing on just keeping the ball in play with medium pace, and trying to get everything back. And if the opponents ended up winning, meh. I would not play them again anyway.
This partner is also my friend and has quit before for other reasons. This time I had nothing to do with it. And believe me we do talk whenever she is willing to do so. This time she was not going to talk to me about it. She turned into a zombie on the court. So please don't make me the bad guy here. I tried to find out what was up with her. I encouraged her to play. I did everything possible that I could have done. And yes it was a meaningless social match, but I do think it could have been handled in a different way...so that is why I have posted asking for feedback.
D
Deleted member 23235
Guest
how were you expecting it to be handled?
sounds like your friend is a bit timid and shuts down in confrontational scenarios.
ask he if she wants to continue, if she does, fight 100%... win or lose, go have 3 drinks
let her know you need her to be aggressive at net. if she still doesn't want to, just keep fighting, and if you lose anyway, oh well. go have 3 drinks.
if she doesn't, quit with her, have 3 drinks.
so the solution, i hope is clear, go have 3 drinks with a smile.
osunds like you're competitive than your partner... it's ok to stay friends, but find someone equally competitive to partner with for matches that "matter" (tourneys, usta)... and just play social (hit and giggle) dubs with your friend.
Traffic
Hall of Fame
Seems like a social etiquette issue? Not so much about tennis. Your friend was invited by you to hit with your club mates? Your club mates asked her to not play so aggressively. For her, it would seem that she was upset for being told "don't play tennis". But she is the invited guest. You needed to step in and get involved. Right, wrong or indifferent, she was invited to play against folks that had their own special rules of playing that she was not familiar with. This IS on you as the one bridging the players.
