Are perfection, expectation, and overly critical self-talk killing your performance/confidence?

[ChaelAZ]

Just rambling about some thoughts this last week. Might resonate with others, but kind of a rant and self-medication I think.

I've been playing some really good tennis since the end of last leagues, through the end of last year, and going into the start of this season.

The last I played, we did the 18+ 4.0 and I played D1/D2 and went 4/4 w/l for the season, with good close matches in the losses even and playing some solid competition. I felt like I found my groove and was competing well, and took that confidence into the off season prep. We played with mostly our 4.0 group but I also played some of our 4.5 guys and I was loving the challenge and experience, and surprised at how well I has able to hang. Again, I had more confidence rolling into this season and was ready to compete for our first match.

To say the least, at least in my mind, I played absolutely abysmal for that first match last week and we lost 4/6 4/6, so confidence dropped and mentally I regressed quickly to wondering if I was just 'stuck' where I have been, or worse would drop my level. I mean, did I belong at D1? Was I REALLY any good? After the match my partner and others tried to reinforce that we did compete well and it was a tough team, but I just kept focusing on how bad my ground game was and how many easy shots (overheads, for God's sake!) I missed. And all that spiral'd this week and I've been dang hard on myself.

So today I checked in to see if any stats posted on the match and I realized, the team we played WERE actually that good. I checked TR and the one opponent (the one we tried to avoid) is 3.99 and the other is 3.79. For my level, that is good solid competition. And it got me thinking and questioning (not that I haven't realized this about myself through my life), is the expectation and idea of perfection or being overly critical of errors one of the biggest barriers to my improvement? In actual match play I play as well as possible. While I do get on myself if I make errors, I don't usually let it spiral my play down. But AFTER a match, I find I get very critical of myself and I think that pressure to do better and baggage gets brought into the next match somewhere. I used to implode years ago on court I could spiral a close match into a blow out over a few simple errors. I just didn't think that was the case anymore, but I am thinking there is still more there to resolve.

Again, I think it is more I wanted to type it out, so ignore the blog post therapy if it doesn't apply, but I am interested in hearing other's thoughts, experiences, and such too. Or maybe just a pat on the back and saying, "You'll get'em next time".

 

[Rosstour]

Not in tennis (anymore, anyway) but in life for sure.

 

[socallefty]

My mental game became more stable without emotional ups and downs or intensity fluctuations once I read this book. I recommend reading it as it has many ideas to use visualization, mantras etc. to stay at optimal stimulation without negative thoughts.

Smart Tennis: How to Play and Win the Mental Game
by John F. Murray

 

[VacationTennis]

In every tennis match, even in the highest levels, there's a certain amount of errors that occur by each player.

If you can accept this reality, then you can understand it's only part of the game to make an error. You see some pro's not even flinch after a bad one or at a clutch moment in a tb, because it's back to work.

 

[FuzzyYellowBalls]

You need to be more positive, 4-6 4-6, you lost, but your mind's energy should be on what could have changed that and answering "just play better" really won't help mentally. I'd say 4-6 4-6 is pretty close to winning, even if you played "bad" and you should be happy about it. Shift the focus on the future and think about your play and strategy.

 

[ChaelAZ]

I'd say 4-6 4-6 is pretty close to winning, even if you played "bad" and you should be happy about it. Shift the focus on the future and think about your play and strategy.

Lol. When I kept saying how bad my ground game was, my partner just kept responding that if we only lost 4 & 4 then I should have toms of confidence that even what I call my worst was that good, and my better will be great. So yeah, definitely need to get some peace with it.

 

[ktx]

In actual match play I play as well as possible. While I do get on myself if I make errors, I don't usually let it spiral my play down. But AFTER a match, I find I get very critical of myself and I think that pressure to do better and baggage gets brought into the next match somewhere.

To me, this is pretty evolved. It's really hard to fight off the downward spiral of errors. That being said, it's also difficult to find the balance between caring enough about improving and not taking it too seriously because it's just rec tennis. Typically perfectionism blocks growth, yes, but if you're recognizing this at all then you're probably way ahead of the mental game.

 

[socallefty]

I don’t think the score of a match should be your main barometer on how well you played as it depends on how strong your opponents are and how well your partner played also.

You should think about whether you made good shot/serve selection decisions first as there is never any excuse to make bad decisions on the court. Also, how was your mental toughness / were you able to stay composed throughout the match and not be too stressed on big points. Then you should look at whether you had active feet and whether you were aggressive enough near your ceiling at the net. Finally you should think about how well you executed on serves, returns, overheads, volleys and groundstrokes - you should grade against what you think you are capable of and not against a perfect level,

Based on that analysis, you will have a better idea of how well you played against what you are capable of playing and also think about what you can do better next time. You should do this self-analysis whether you win or lose matches and keep notes.

 

[jimmy8]

If you play against sandbaggers (which I believe there are a lot of in USTA) and you're thinking they're your level because that's what they said they are, and their play makes you play bad because it's hard to play perfect against hard hitting where you're on the run a lot of the time also. Then it makes you think, oh I'm not good enough to be at this level, when in reality, they're too good to be at that level.

Or maybe you just had a bad day. Or maybe they just had a great day. Or maybe both. Think about what you can do better next time. Drill it. Hope that you meet the same team/player again and try your best to beat them next time. Or investigate other local leagues/ladders and see if they are genuine sandbaggers. If that's the case, you will need to take some growth hormone and EPO and whatever Simona took and train at Rafa's academy 10 hrs a day 7 days a week for 1 year straight to beat them. Good luck!

 

[ohplease]

I don’t think the score of a match should be your main barometer on how well you played as it depends on how strong your opponents are and how well your partner played also.

You should think about whether you made good shot/serve selection decisions first as there is never any excuse to make bad decisions on the court. Also, how was your mental toughness / were you able to stay composed throughout the match and not be too stressed on big points. Then you should look at whether you had active feet and whether you were aggressive enough near your ceiling at the net. Finally you should think about how well you executed on serves, returns, overheads, volleys and groundstrokes - you should grade against what you think you are capable of and not against a perfect level,

Based on that analysis, you will have a better idea of how well you played against what you are capable of playing and also think about what you can do better next time. You should do this self-analysis whether you win or lose matches and keep notes.

This is exactly right. Nothing in tennis is an accident. Was your plan any good? Was your execution any good? If you work towards good plans and good executions, your results will improve.

I think about whether or not I created and closed on opportunities. Winning is a nice side effect of that process. There will still be matches where I do that perfectly and still lose and others where I do it badly and still win - that's just tennis (and life)

 

[Crocodile]

What you need to do is to let go at past negative performances or future expectations and focus on performing your very best each time you go out and play.
Set your goals, work on the fundamentals ( serve and return plus play and work hard on your favourite plays. Learn to be precise and read the play as succinctly as possible and be specific with everything you do.

 

[ey039524]

I've brainwashed my son into not worrying about winning. He will analyze his play regardless of the outcome. Learning/improving is a long-term goal. Tennis is fun.

 

[optic yellow]

Negative self-talk is the devil that sits on your shoulder.

 

[graycrait]

On occasion I hit with a former D1 player who has played steadily the last 35+ yrs since he graduated. I used to coach several youth sports and several sports while in the Army. In youth and Army sports you have to work with what you have, recruiting isn't an option. Teamwork, fundamentals and positive energy are required though.

My old D1 friend will lay down out loud some the longest self-loathing tirades I have ever heard. One time I asked him would it help if I brought a knotted rope so that he can self flagellate himself in public? Another time I asked "does that really help?" I told him at 59 he isn't getting any younger and that he hits scores of beautiful, elegant, magnificent shots and plays. Yet he spends untold amounts of emotional energy berating himself. We should all be so gifted to have played D1 tennis and be so lucky to avoid injury or illness to be able to play good tennis for many decades.

Like it or not I now interrupt the "madness" and point out his last good shot, rinse and repeat. He is a lot better while hitting with me now, others I am not so sure. Overcoming nearly 60 years of negativity is a hard job, but I'll hit with him anyway because he hits so many darn good shots.

 

[ratherlosethanpush]

Nothing wrong with getting upset as long as you deal with it move on and stay in the present.

Tiger used to to give himself 10 seconds to get over a bad shot. If u r doing that though better wait until the point is over. He won an event or two.

Re your confidence if u have faith in your game it doesn't get shaken by a bad shot or 2, confidence is a bit more fleeting and you need to get beyond that stage.

I'd differentiate this as I may have missed it but I won't miss it again and when i do, i still believe i won't miss it again the next time...and so on when you have faith and truly trust your game.

Expectation is not staying in the present by definition

Perfection is not realistic, in western ideas control the controllables, concentrate on performance over results, but really I'd wish to be more fluid and just reacting to flow. Now is a moment that lasts forever and everything happens within it, though some might argue now was a few milliseconds ago.

 

[optic yellow]

but really I'd wish to be more fluid and just reacting to flow. Now is a moment that lasts forever and everything happens within it, though some might argue now was a few milliseconds ago.

Yeah this is the real win, this is what slows down time in your mind.

 

[ratherlosethanpush]

Yeah this is the real win, this is what slows down time in your mind.

I think it does in reality too

If choice reaction time is decision making time plus movement time you can vastly reduce the decision making time by pre programming responses from a cognitive perspective or alternatively its perception action coupling from the more dynamical systems approach.

It's the yoda do or do not speech. Its automated and more pressure proof as a result

 

[EddieBrock]

In every tennis match, even in the highest levels, there's a certain amount of errors that occur by each player.

If you can accept this reality, then you can understand it's only part of the game to make an error. You see some pro's not even flinch after a bad one or at a clutch moment in a tb, because it's back to work.

In my last doubles match we were up match point in the tiebreak and I decided to poach and hit a sitter volley into the middle of the net. This got me rather upset with myself and I started thinking "what if we lose the match because of my stupid mistake", but then thought about all matches we've lost from me not moving and how that was the right play and then got my mind back to playing the next point as well as possible. Fortunately we did win the match.

I think when there is score pressure it's really hard to accept errors vs. if you're just playing for fun. For pros it's probably just a mental probability calculation and they can stick with playing the best odds.

 

[socallefty]

In my last doubles match we were up match point in the tiebreak and I decided to poach and hit a sitter volley into the middle of the net. This got me rather upset with myself and I started thinking "what if we lose the match because of my stupid mistake", but then thought about all matches we've lost from me not moving and how that was the right play and then got my mind back to playing the next point as well as possible. Fortunately we did win the match.

I think when there is score pressure it's really hard to accept errors vs. if you're just playing for fun. For pros it's probably just a mental probability calculation and they can stick with playing the best odds.

How many sitter volleys do you miss on normal points which are not match points or even game points? My experience is that 3.5s and low 4.0s miss anywhere between 1 in 3 to 1 in 2 easy volleys where the ball is not fast and above the net height at contact. It is because they are flat footed, might not have a continental grip especially on FH volleys, wait for the ball till it is close to the body and then mostly hold their racquet with a limp wrist to hit a drop volley instead of hitting a firm drive volley. So, is it pressure or lack of footwork/technique that causes lower level players to miss easy volleys?

If you watch advanced players, they split step and start moving based on the quality of their partner’s shot even before the opponent hits the shot so that they are never flat-footed. Instead of waiting for the ball, they will contact the ball well in front of them with a firm wrist, racquet tip up well above the elbow and with a continental grip - this leads to stable volley technique. Whenever possible, they will have their body turned somewhat sideways also with more turn for BH volleys so that they use their body coil to generate power and don’t need a big take back.

Players with better technique can execute better at pressure moments because they have a higher margin for error and so, their execution of easy shots doesn’t fluctuate up and down too much.

 

[LuckyR]

Just rambling about some thoughts this last week. Might resonate with others, but kind of a rant and self-medication I think.

I've been playing some really good tennis since the end of last leagues, through the end of last year, and going into the start of this season.

The last I played, we did the 18+ 4.0 and I played D1/D2 and went 4/4 w/l for the season, with good close matches in the losses even and playing some solid competition. I felt like I found my groove and was competing well, and took that confidence into the off season prep. We played with mostly our 4.0 group but I also played some of our 4.5 guys and I was loving the challenge and experience, and surprised at how well I has able to hang. Again, I had more confidence rolling into this season and was ready to compete for our first match.

To say the least, at least in my mind, I played absolutely abysmal for that first match last week and we lost 4/6 4/6, so confidence dropped and mentally I regressed quickly to wondering if I was just 'stuck' where I have been, or worse would drop my level. I mean, did I belong at D1? Was I REALLY any good? After the match my partner and others tried to reinforce that we did compete well and it was a tough team, but I just kept focusing on how bad my ground game was and how many easy shots (overheads, for God's sake!) I missed. And all that spiral'd this week and I've been dang hard on myself.

So today I checked in to see if any stats posted on the match and I realized, the team we played WERE actually that good. I checked TR and the one opponent (the one we tried to avoid) is 3.99 and the other is 3.79. For my level, that is good solid competition. And it got me thinking and questioning (not that I haven't realized this about myself through my life), is the expectation and idea of perfection or being overly critical of errors one of the biggest barriers to my improvement? In actual match play I play as well as possible. While I do get on myself if I make errors, I don't usually let it spiral my play down. But AFTER a match, I find I get very critical of myself and I think that pressure to do better and baggage gets brought into the next match somewhere. I used to implode years ago on court I could spiral a close match into a blow out over a few simple errors. I just didn't think that was the case anymore, but I am thinking there is still more there to resolve.

Again, I think it is more I wanted to type it out, so ignore the blog post therapy if it doesn't apply, but I am interested in hearing other's thoughts, experiences, and such too. Or maybe just a pat on the back and saying, "You'll get'em next time".

This entire premise is unrealistic. As background:
A) 50% of everyone who walks on a tennis court loses
B) Professional tennis players commonly will hit more UEs than winners

Thus searching for "reasons" why a particular shot was missed and/or a particular match was lost is a fool's errand. Matches are expected to be lost and (sometimes easy) shots are expected to be missed.

So to address the OP's title question: yes, putting oneself in a suboptimal state of mind through the fruitless expenditure of emotional energy is a mistake.

 

[VacationTennis]

In my last doubles match we were up match point in the tiebreak and I decided to poach and hit a sitter volley into the middle of the net. This got me rather upset with myself and I started thinking "what if we lose the match because of my stupid mistake", but then thought about all matches we've lost from me not moving and how that was the right play and then got my mind back to playing the next point as well as possible. Fortunately we did win the match.

I think when there is score pressure it's really hard to accept errors vs. if you're just playing for fun. For pros it's probably just a mental probability calculation and they can stick with playing the best odds.

When it's getting toward the end of the match each one gets more costly, but to your point it's extra important to see it all the way through to the end.

Anyone know what percentage of rec matches are decided in a TB?

 

[EddieBrock]

How many sitter volleys do you miss on normal points which are not match points or even game points? My experience is that 3.5s and low 4.0s miss anywhere between 1 in 3 to 1 in 2 easy volleys where the ball is not fast and above the net height at contact. It is because they are flat footed, might not have a continental grip especially on FH volleys, wait for the ball till it is close to the body and then mostly hold their racquet with a limp wrist to hit a drop volley instead of hitting a firm drive volley. So, is it pressure or lack of footwork/technique that causes lower level players to miss easy volleys?

If you watch advanced players, they split step and start moving based on the quality of their partner’s shot even before the opponent hits the shot so that they are never flat-footed. Instead of waiting for the ball, they will contact the ball well in front of them with a firm wrist, racquet tip up well above the elbow and with a continental grip - this leads to stable volley technique. Whenever possible, they will have their body turned somewhat sideways also with more turn for BH volleys so that they use their body coil to generate power and don’t need a big take back.

Players with better technique can execute better at pressure moments because they have a higher margin for error and so, their execution of easy shots doesn’t fluctuate up and down too much.

Your description of proper technique is spot on.

I very rarely miss sitter volleys like the one I missed on match point. I did everything you described and was trying to hit the BH at the opposing net player's feet and think my racket angle was too far down.

The shot I miss often is the high FH volley that's too high for a regular volley and too low for an OH. I always try to sort of guide it in and end up hitting it in the net.

When it's getting toward the end of the match each one gets more costly, but to your point it's extra important to see it all the way through to the end.

Anyone know what percentage of rec matches are decided in a TB?

In my league matches there are a ton of TB. Often we've had 2 or 3 decided by the 10 point TB.

 

[Pumpkin]

The devil is very active in tennis players minds, at all levels. I just throw him out. If you start missing certain shots under pressure, it's simply because it hasnt been perfected in practice.

So you missed overheads. How often do you practice them? It's a difficult shot. You have to be athletic and get your feet into position. Practice them for 10 to 15 minutes per practice session.

 

[fuzz nation]

Just rambling about some thoughts this last week. Might resonate with others, but kind of a rant and self-medication I think.

I've been playing some really good tennis since the end of last leagues, through the end of last year, and going into the start of this season.

The last I played, we did the 18+ 4.0 and I played D1/D2 and went 4/4 w/l for the season, with good close matches in the losses even and playing some solid competition. I felt like I found my groove and was competing well, and took that confidence into the off season prep. We played with mostly our 4.0 group but I also played some of our 4.5 guys and I was loving the challenge and experience, and surprised at how well I has able to hang. Again, I had more confidence rolling into this season and was ready to compete for our first match.

To say the least, at least in my mind, I played absolutely abysmal for that first match last week and we lost 4/6 4/6, so confidence dropped and mentally I regressed quickly to wondering if I was just 'stuck' where I have been, or worse would drop my level. I mean, did I belong at D1? Was I REALLY any good? After the match my partner and others tried to reinforce that we did compete well and it was a tough team, but I just kept focusing on how bad my ground game was and how many easy shots (overheads, for God's sake!) I missed. And all that spiral'd this week and I've been dang hard on myself.

So today I checked in to see if any stats posted on the match and I realized, the team we played WERE actually that good. I checked TR and the one opponent (the one we tried to avoid) is 3.99 and the other is 3.79. For my level, that is good solid competition. And it got me thinking and questioning (not that I haven't realized this about myself through my life), is the expectation and idea of perfection or being overly critical of errors one of the biggest barriers to my improvement? In actual match play I play as well as possible. While I do get on myself if I make errors, I don't usually let it spiral my play down. But AFTER a match, I find I get very critical of myself and I think that pressure to do better and baggage gets brought into the next match somewhere. I used to implode years ago on court I could spiral a close match into a blow out over a few simple errors. I just didn't think that was the case anymore, but I am thinking there is still more there to resolve.

Again, I think it is more I wanted to type it out, so ignore the blog post therapy if it doesn't apply, but I am interested in hearing other's thoughts, experiences, and such too. Or maybe just a pat on the back and saying, "You'll get'em next time".

I think it's a healthy sign that you're aware of some things there. I haven't read the book recommended in post #3 by our pal @socallefty (yet!), but I can offer one that's been enormously helpful for me.

Mental Tennis by Vic Braden - I've read it at least three times. Wonderful stuff in those pages that literally changed my understanding of so many aspects of our game. Braden's insight absolutely made me a substantially better as both a player and coach. Bonus points: his story-telling style is often hilarious.

 

[ChaelAZ]

This entire premise is unrealistic. As background:
A) 50% of everyone who walks on a tennis court loses

I should have clearified, it isn't about the win/lose, but more about feeling like I didn't compete a level as I had been lately. Many of my best matches in the last few years were losses.

But to the match, I didn't feel like they did anything that I couldn't handle and many points were lost on what anyone would call EZ errors. Yeah, those happen, but this was a pretty low caliber match for me. My consoling factor is/was that they were a very good team in the end, and not to shade the W in any way. We did up losing what was close in score, but had I not been serving lights out, this could ahve easily been a 1 and 1 loss. So that is a positive that at least I had that to fall back on, and I did make a few decent plays to extend points. Just overall, compared to the level I had been playing (my expectation) the match performance was low (hence the overly critical self-talk). Have since played and things rectified and righted, but I need to find ways to embrace the good stuff, even among a lot of bad. And keep focus on expecting to compete as well as I can, but be a little tolerant for time, for whatever reason, things just aren't clicking.

If that makes sense.

And thanks everyone for the above comments and suggestions. Had some family medical stuff the last few weeks and haven't had time to check in. Appreciate the discussion and will jump in when I can!

 

[socallefty]

But to the match, I didn't feel like they did anything that I couldn't handle and many points were lost on what anyone would call EZ errors.

Good opponents can cause more stress and overstimulation which can lead to more errors. You feel like you have to lift up your game to higher levels to beat them and that can tighten up your muscles and frazzle your brain. Also, higher quality opponents can sometimes remove the belief early that you or your team deserves to win the match and once that belief is gone, it is tough to play relaxed.

Not saying it happened to you, but more in the nature of general comments on why it is more difficult to play against high quality opponents. In contrast when you get an early lead and are beating up on a team, it is easy to play well as long as you don’t get too overconfident/bored and under stimulated below optimal levels.

 

[optic yellow]

Good opponents can cause more stress and overstimulation which can lead to more errors. You feel like you have to lift up your game to higher levels to beat them and that can tighten up your muscles and frazzle your brain. Also, higher quality opponents can sometimes remove the belief early that you or your team deserves to win the match and once that belief is gone, it is tough to play relaxed.

Not saying it happened to you, but more in the nature of general comments on why it is more difficult to play against high quality opponents. In contrast when you get an early lead and are beating up on a team, it is easy to play well as long as you don’t get too overconfident/bored and under stimulated below optimal levels.

tldr why Djokovic continues to win so much

 

[ohplease]

Good opponents can cause more stress and overstimulation which can lead to more errors. You feel like you have to lift up your game to higher levels to beat them and that can tighten up your muscles and frazzle your brain. Also, higher quality opponents can sometimes remove the belief early that you or your team deserves to win the match and once that belief is gone, it is tough to play relaxed.

Not saying it happened to you, but more in the nature of general comments on why it is more difficult to play against high quality opponents. In contrast when you get an early lead and are beating up on a team, it is easy to play well as long as you don’t get too overconfident/bored and under stimulated below optimal levels.

I should have you preach to my teammates. So many of them feel like they have to go away from their normal games or do something special when facing tough opponents, which just starts the downward spiral of trying increasingly low percentage plays/shots

 

[Purestriker]

Just rambling about some thoughts this last week. Might resonate with others, but kind of a rant and self-medication I think.

I've been playing some really good tennis since the end of last leagues, through the end of last year, and going into the start of this season.

The last I played, we did the 18+ 4.0 and I played D1/D2 and went 4/4 w/l for the season, with good close matches in the losses even and playing some solid competition. I felt like I found my groove and was competing well, and took that confidence into the off season prep. We played with mostly our 4.0 group but I also played some of our 4.5 guys and I was loving the challenge and experience, and surprised at how well I has able to hang. Again, I had more confidence rolling into this season and was ready to compete for our first match.

To say the least, at least in my mind, I played absolutely abysmal for that first match last week and we lost 4/6 4/6, so confidence dropped and mentally I regressed quickly to wondering if I was just 'stuck' where I have been, or worse would drop my level. I mean, did I belong at D1? Was I REALLY any good? After the match my partner and others tried to reinforce that we did compete well and it was a tough team, but I just kept focusing on how bad my ground game was and how many easy shots (overheads, for God's sake!) I missed. And all that spiral'd this week and I've been dang hard on myself.

So today I checked in to see if any stats posted on the match and I realized, the team we played WERE actually that good. I checked TR and the one opponent (the one we tried to avoid) is 3.99 and the other is 3.79. For my level, that is good solid competition. And it got me thinking and questioning (not that I haven't realized this about myself through my life), is the expectation and idea of perfection or being overly critical of errors one of the biggest barriers to my improvement? In actual match play I play as well as possible. While I do get on myself if I make errors, I don't usually let it spiral my play down. But AFTER a match, I find I get very critical of myself and I think that pressure to do better and baggage gets brought into the next match somewhere. I used to implode years ago on court I could spiral a close match into a blow out over a few simple errors. I just didn't think that was the case anymore, but I am thinking there is still more there to resolve.

Again, I think it is more I wanted to type it out, so ignore the blog post therapy if it doesn't apply, but I am interested in hearing other's thoughts, experiences, and such too. Or maybe just a pat on the back and saying, "You'll get'em next time".

I am guilty of this. It usually takes me a few days to recover from a loss and sometimes it causes issues or doubts for my next match. I am trying to get better about it, but its not easy. I don't like to lose and I feel like my teammates are disappointed when I do.

 

[socallefty]

I should have you preach to my teammates. So many of them feel like they have to go away from their normal games or do something special when facing tough opponents, which just starts the downward spiral of trying increasingly low percentage plays/shots

Often you do have to do some things differently but you have to stick with stuff that you can execute reasonably well. Also, you have to be able to stay relaxed while going toward the edges of your comfort zone or you can’t execute. When I play against better opponents, I have to often serve 1st serves closer to the lines, serve 2nd serves harder, return from a deeper position, not hit balls as much on the rise, slice my BH more on defense, stand closer to the net in doubles to give me easier volleys, hit overheads confidently off deeper lobs, do more Australian/I formation etc. But you have to journey from the center of your comfort zone to the edges in a planned, controlled manner and not unconsciously because you are stressed.

So, maybe you sometimes have to choose medium-% over high-% sometimes, but rarely low-% shots or tactics.

 

[optic yellow]

But you have to journey from the center of your comfort zone to the edges in a planned, controlled manner and not unconsciously because you are stressed.

Elegantly said, mildly poignant even.

 

[socallefty]

Elegantly said, mildly poignant even.

One of my core philosophies in life is to constantly explore the edges of my comfort zone because that is what makes my comfort zone constantly expand in all facets of life. This is important for me to open up my mind to new experiences/challenges and so, I am not a conservative by nature. Always being in control of my emotions and brain is another important thing I aspire to do on or off the court.

 

[LuckyR]

I should have clearified, it isn't about the win/lose, but more about feeling like I didn't compete a level as I had been lately. Many of my best matches in the last few years were losses.

But to the match, I didn't feel like they did anything that I couldn't handle and many points were lost on what anyone would call EZ errors. Yeah, those happen, but this was a pretty low caliber match for me. My consoling factor is/was that they were a very good team in the end, and not to shade the W in any way. We did up losing what was close in score, but had I not been serving lights out, this could ahve easily been a 1 and 1 loss. So that is a positive that at least I had that to fall back on, and I did make a few decent plays to extend points. Just overall, compared to the level I had been playing (my expectation) the match performance was low (hence the overly critical self-talk). Have since played and things rectified and righted, but I need to find ways to embrace the good stuff, even among a lot of bad. And keep focus on expecting to compete as well as I can, but be a little tolerant for time, for whatever reason, things just aren't clicking.

If that makes sense.

And thanks everyone for the above comments and suggestions. Had some family medical stuff the last few weeks and haven't had time to check in. Appreciate the discussion and will jump in when I can!

There's nothing wrong with focusing on winning in matchplay (since that's the goal of matchplay, duh). But getting back to the original question, if freaking out because of a duffed sitter inspired you to play better, why wouldn't you want to do that? Of course for everyone not named McEnroe, Nastase or Conners, you're likely deluding yourself and your play quality is dropping when in that state of mind. So don't be in what is essentially a loser's state of mind. Otherwise you'll contribute to a higher loss rate.

 

[sovertennis]

Lol. When I kept saying how bad my ground game was, my partner just kept responding that if we only lost 4 & 4 then I should have toms of confidence that even what I call my worst was that good, and my better will be great. So yeah, definitely need to get some peace with it.

If you're up in the sets 4-2 and lose 6-4, that can certainly be construed as a "bad loss," but if you're competitive in both sets and lose 4&4, you shouldn't be too concerned. If you missed some overheads, then practice your overhead; above all, focus on specific items that you can improve and forget about all the ancillary stuff like your opponents' rating, or if you're "good enough" to play line 1 (Imposter Syndrome alert!) etc.