Coaching Advice...Please Help

[Jamesm182]

Hi Thanks for reading and hopefully you can help.

I've been coaching at my club for a bit now, and have started coaching a really talented 13 year old student. This person used to be coached by a recognised county coach. After leaving that place they are now with me.

The student is really talented, and technically very good, and has improved a lot in various areas. However has a really fragile confidence, and belief in themselves. In practice they can look really good, and when they go to matches , they either can win against poeple much worse, or get battered by people not as gifted who just dont make mistakes.

When they enter better level tournaments, the matches are not lasting too long and getting well beaten. Due to the poor confidence , they describe the matches as going by really fast and not seeming to last at all. To me that seems like nerves and not concentrating or relaxing to get into the match.

The parent expects 100 % and is determined for their child to succeed. Is fair in both praise and criticism, however they are both open and ind front of the child and i don't think its helping.

The student has recently improved a lot, however as of late the form has dipped slightly and the confidence issues are rearing up again, being anxious on court , not wanting people to watch them play etc.

I was wondering if any coaches or people here have had similar experiences, and what i can do to help the student i teach. Everyone who sees them play can see the potential they have , and i often get congratulated over their improvement, but the fact it isnt translating very well to matches concerns me..

Another club has asked the student to play national matches for their team and although this is great news, i am worried about the potential affect it could haved


Any help or advice is greatly appreciated.

 

[dozu]

just shooting from the hips..

I think the parent is the culprit here... maybe the kid is having too much pressure.

If he has good techniques, and enjoys the game, he won't be afraid of losing, and therefore won't be afraid of winning.

Does the kid looks happy on the court? does he truely want it? or is it the parent who really want it.

 

[Jamesm182]

just shooting from the hips..

I think the parent is the culprit here... maybe the kid is having too much pressure.

If he has good techniques, and enjoys the game, he won't be afraid of losing, and therefore won't be afraid of winning.

Does the kid looks happy on the court? does he truely want it? or is it the parent who really want it.

Good questions. The child is naturally shy anyway, and that translates onto the court. Seems to cave a little instead of fighting and scrapping. The parent definitley wants it just as much if not more.

In terms of results , every time therte is a bad one the poarent reacts badly and texts me to tell me they are thinking of moving coacvh , whilst aknowledsging there is no more i could do...I'm not sure how to react, or whats expected of me ...I'm beginning to think that although the student has a clear love of the game, they might not be a tournament type player.

 

[dozu]

ha, so my hip shot hit the target (sort of).

without knowing much details.. if I were in your shoes, I'd lay my cards out with the parent, and make sure that the kid is not afraid of losing because how the parent reacts.

with that out of the way, some people are naturally shy, and lack of that killer instinct on the court.... but you never know, you may have a tiger hiding under a sheep's skin, you never know what the kid is really thinking... and at that age, he is still go thru A LOT psychologically.

But my gut feeling tells my that if the pressure is taken off the kid, it may just unleash the tiger within.

 

[fuzz nation]

The one book that has taught me the most about addressing the mental aspects of tennis is Vic Braden's Mental Tennis. I recommend it all the time.

I appreciate that you're looking at this young slugger as more than just a promising tennis talent. I've found in my coaching experience that without making a deliberate effort to keep the tennis endeavor fun and positive for a talented junior, the pressures can drive them away from the sport big-time.

One mistake that friends and family members can make with kids who compete a lot is to routinely ask whether they won their latest match. For a youngster, that can make their acceptance hinge too much on their wins and it's a recipe for too much pressure in competition. As a coach, one job you may consider taking on is a bit of an intervention with the parents where you aim to make them more aware of their criticism and the "did you win" syndrome. If this student is being excessively pushed and dreading the matches at all, you can take some steps to change that for the better. The problem is that it's a tough call in terms of telling parents how to relate to their own children, right?

With the high school kids I've coached, I've always tried to ask them about how they played when they'd come off the courts from a match instead of asking for a score right away. That seemed to really keep them thinking and learning regardless of their match results. Even a loss could yield some positives that way.

As far as your student goes, you can address some mental aspects that might help him/her start using a healthy filter in terms of the criticism. Talk it over and make sure that he (or she) wants to be out there. When kids honestly understand that it's essential to mess up and also lose along the way as they develop, I think that this can be the one best thing for their attitudes. As the coach, it's important for you to give your student that "license to miss" (that's from Braden's book).

If you sense that things are getting too heavy for this student, don't hesitate to trust your instincts and take a little break. You're probably the best barometer for his/her disposition from one session to the next.

One of our contributors here, Dave Smith ("Coaching Mastery"), has a couple of books out and he's been teaching and coaching at a high level for decades. If you're shopping for books, I'd consider his work, too.

 

[GetBetterer]

I remember when I had the match blues. Lasted for awhile. I recommend reading The Inner Game of Tennis to the child. My signature is a summary of the book but a SparkNotes of the Bible does not compare to the Bible itself so it's worth reading.

A lot of people here have said talk to the parent. To be honest, at a young age when you're playing really well I too think the parent is pressuring the child. Talk to them AND the child. Parent's obviously aren't going to say:

"Yes yes, I am pressuring my child to be the best and if they do not win this match I will whip them as punishment and starve them of their dinner."

Hopefully no parent is that brutal but just in case, ask the child too.

 

[chico9166]

Hi Thanks for reading and hopefully you can help.

I've been coaching at my club for a bit now, and have started coaching a really talented 13 year old student. This person used to be coached by a recognised county coach. After leaving that place they are now with me.

The student is really talented, and technically very good, and has improved a lot in various areas. However has a really fragile confidence, and belief in themselves. In practice they can look really good, and when they go to matches , they either can win against poeple much worse, or get battered by people not as gifted who just dont make mistakes.

When they enter better level tournaments, the matches are not lasting too long and getting well beaten. Due to the poor confidence , they describe the matches as going by really fast and not seeming to last at all. To me that seems like nerves and not concentrating or relaxing to get into the match.

The parent expects 100 % and is determined for their child to succeed. Is fair in both praise and criticism, however they are both open and ind front of the child and i don't think its helping.

The student has recently improved a lot, however as of late the form has dipped slightly and the confidence issues are rearing up again, being anxious on court , not wanting people to watch them play etc.

I was wondering if any coaches or people here have had similar experiences, and what i can do to help the student i teach. Everyone who sees them play can see the potential they have , and i often get congratulated over their improvement, but the fact it isnt translating very well to matches concerns me..

Another club has asked the student to play national matches for their team and although this is great news, i am worried about the potential affect it could haved


Any help or advice is greatly appreciated.

Because the parents are largely responsible for setting up the proper environment, remind them, that you're all in it for the long run, (from 13 to 18 is a lifetime) and that improvement/results are not linear. There is no need to get caught up/panic if the kid can't take it to the match yet. The boy will sense this, and the accompanying pressure will obviously make it more difficult to break through.

Confidence/mental toughness is a funny thing. Over the years, I've literally seen kids start to "turn it around" with a couple big wins. Emphasise, the opportunity the next match presents, be positive (of course), and let him know there is no sense of urgency. Time is on his side.

P.S As a side note, if given a choice, I would much rather have a kid fundamentally sound, than mentally tough at this age. Kids that are the best at this age,(many times because they are tough mentally) are not the best when it counts the most. (at 17 or 18) I always remind kids of this, when the mental side is problematic at this age.

 

[Kevo]

I think you have 2 things you need to discover.

1. What is the true dynamic between the parent and child.

2. What does the child really want and why.

You need to set expectations appropriately with both the parents and the child. And no one can make the child play any way except the way the child wants to. A lot of times there are emotional triggers that the player may not even be aware of that lead automatically to the outcomes you described.

Remember that mountains need to be climbed one step at a time, and skipping steps is not recommended.

 

[EP1998]

Confidence and managing nerves has to be practiced just like any other part of tennis. It's okay to be nervous and to lack confidence, it happens to everyone. As a player you have to learn how to deal with it. A lot of the time its pretending to the outside world you're dealing with it even if you're a total mess inside! What you can do in your role as coach is to teach your player tools to manage this. I would start with some tennis player biographies. It can be really helpful to read when world class players recall how they struggled with nerves etc.. Check into books and articles by Jim Loehr and Ann Quinn.

The confidence may get worse as the expectations of "talent" increase. A lot of talented kids dont understand why they are nervous. Again, it just needs to be stressed that this can be managed.

 

[ATP100]

If they truly are talented, they need to seek professional help outside of tennis.

 

[Jamesm182]

Hi Guys , thanks for all the amazing advice. I just thought id clarify the situation a little more. The subject in question is a girl.

I managed to talk to the parent last night and although he has asked his daughter to switch coaches. She has said that she wants to continue having lessons from me.

I enjoy coaching her and the challeneges it presents. I've dealt with a a range from parents, from the dis-interested to ..this..

Looking back i've found that there are massive gut reactions from the parent. The girl actually did quite well and got to the semi's of a tournament on this particular day. Then lost in the semi 1 and 0 and then the 3rd playoff where she aknowledged her concentration wained and was intimidated by the opponents consistency.

All these things are workable to me. I can surely help with the mental side and match tactics, thoughts, preperation etc. Its more tha parents gut reactions that bother me. In the matches she won i was getting texts saying she was playing amazing, then an hour later things are dire and need changing.

I cant see how this can help her mental state, as in her head i know she wants to win , but there is a possible fear of letting people down.
The parent seems very keen to instill the fighting instinct, and thats fine, but its the crushing comments to an already fragile confidence that bothers me

 

[TennisCoachFLA]

Hi Guys , thanks for all the amazing advice. I just thought id clarify the situation a little more. The subject in question is a girl.

I managed to talk to the parent last night and although he has asked his daughter to switch coaches. She has said that she wants to continue having lessons from me.

I enjoy coaching her and the challeneges it presents. I've dealt with a a range from parents, from the dis-interested to ..this..

Looking back i've found that there are massive gut reactions from the parent. The girl actually did quite well and got to the semi's of a tournament on this particular day. Then lost in the semi 1 and 0 and then the 3rd playoff where she aknowledged her concentration wained and was intimidated by the opponents consistency.

All these things are workable to me. I can surely help with the mental side and match tactics, thoughts, preperation etc. Its more tha parents gut reactions that bother me. In the matches she won i was getting texts saying she was playing amazing, then an hour later things are dire and need changing.

I cant see how this can help her mental state, as in her head i know she wants to win , but there is a possible fear of letting people down.
The parent seems very keen to instill the fighting instinct, and thats fine, but its the crushing comments to an already fragile confidence that bothers me

Coach, been there, done that. I can predict and maybe you can also, that the day will come when these type of parents turn on you. Some day it will be you who is the reason their daughter fails.

Its part of the deal, just be prepared for that day to come when the parents decide to change coaches. Until then just do your thing with her.

 

[kiteboard]

No psychological skills. Teach her: how to play the lull game, jam game, finish game, and which psych jobs to expect coming her way.

 

[DavaiMarat]

I believe social pressure and expectation is the culprit here. Self belief is low and has the mind set for the 'self-fulfilling' prophecy syndrome.

She has been told she has the skill to win yet lacks confidence yet confidence is probably the thing she practices least. Tennis is 90% in the head, however we don't take the time to develop the right mindset. Going into a match with the correct frame of mind is the most important part of my preparation.

Things to foster in your student:

1) 100% Unconditional Self Respect - Win or Lose or draw. She's going to go in and come out the same strong, confident player even when you lose. This of course starts with the parents. They are her parents, if you can make them understand their role is to be 'her' parents. Lose, win or draw, their job is too give her a hug, buy her an ice cream and give her encouragement. She should never feel lesser in the eyes of her parents regardless of results. It's your job to pump her up and give her constructive critism.

2) Focus on the strategy and result not the technique. Players that play well in practice but not in matches are often of the perfectionist type. They take joy from performing their skills well however when the pressure of a match sets in, all that goes out the window. Win ugly, period. Pick your spots and execute, it doesn't matter how the ball get there as long as it does.

3) 90% effort. What causes a lot of players to self destruct too is 140% effort. When players get in a tight spot they get stiff and tight and start to muscle the ball. The worse it gets the worse they play and then the harder they try. It's a vicious cycle. Tell your player to give 90% effort, this keeps a small part their mind focused on being relax.

I hope this helps.

 

[DavaiMarat]

Interesting.....This video popped up on youtube as suggested to me...

Hmmmm is this you?? Sounds english.. =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9gUgc2ts9M&feature=feedlik

 

[Nellie]

The more thinking going on, the worse the play will be. You need to get a player into "autopilot" for matches and that comes with lots and lots of practice, including game situation drills. It is actually hard for a good player to play nice against weak competition because they are so highly trained to hit at a high level.

So play every drill with a winning goal (e.g., play hitting target means winning a point, missing a target means losing), so the player gets used to pressure of performing. You see too many players blasting shots in practice in practice and then getting tight in matches. You can vary the winning goal according to the player's needs - (e.g., 100 shot rally is a winning game)

Your player should also be practicing with various levels of competition, better or worse to keep from getting intimidated. When a player competes against an older/bigger kid and holds their own, this brings so much confidence. Likewise, a player needs to learn to crush weaker players... It sounds mean, but you don't want your player off of her game because she feels bad for the other player.

I also think a good coach subtlety builds confidence in their players during coaching - if your player hears the strengths of her game during practice (e.g., "no one is going to return that forehand"), you player will get a lot of confidence in those strengths. You have to be honest in your compliments though.

 

[Jamesm182]

Thanks again some great advice..

Tenniscoachfla I agree i think I can see it coming .

When I say talent shebos currently top 20 county at the minute but to me should be a lot higher , I've tried building the confidence into lessons and we discuss a lot , but after every tournament ad every loss the parent reacts the same , he expects he to win he tournaments..

He has already we through different coaches , one guy had a high world ranking but the style didn't suit her and a top county coach too.

It just annoys me how fickle he is ,when she clearly enjoys the lessons and is improving , he has signed up for some squad training sessions so could spell the end for me

 

[Ash_Smith]

^^^ You need to coach the parent not the child!

As I see it the problem is the with the external pressure from there. I'm sure she'll put enough pressure on herself anyway, with out the extra pressure from her parents.

I would be looking to manage the expectations of the parent and maybe look at setting some performance goals which they can use as a yardstick rather than using her results. If they can understand the process(s) rather than the outcome(s) maybe that'll help them (and her) see where you're going and what you're working with.

Ash

P.S. where abouts are you based?

 

[Off The Wall]

^^^ You need to coach the parent not the child!

As I see it the problem is the with the external pressure from there. I'm sure she'll put enough pressure on herself anyway, with out the extra pressure from her parents.

I would be looking to manage the expectations of the parent and maybe look at setting some performance goals which they can use as a yardstick rather than using her results. If they can understand the process(s) rather than the outcome(s) maybe that'll help them (and her) see where you're going and what you're working with.

This is excellent advice.

As an aside: students, particularly girl students, develop bonds with their coaches. The fact that they are ignoring that relationship would indicate to me that they are very results oriented...and not thinking about their daughter as a daughter.

 

[Jamesm182]

After reading all these reponses again. I'll add a little more.

I already own quite a few coaching books. ie world class tennis mentality, tennis is mental too, pyschology of tennis etc. I try to pass on as much knowledge as i can to her.

I try to control the parent in the way that i tell him what we are trying to accomplish, and he doesnt interfere with anything in that regard.

I have talked with the student at the turn of the year and we have established short term performance goals, and long term performance and mental goals. Which were/ are progressing nicely.

I don't make any claim to be the best coach around, but i believe in my own ability and that I'm doing as good a job that can be done at the moment. The family has had some problems which really affected the girl, and it's only in the last few months shes really started to make significant progress.

With these squad sessions, they are at a semi local performance centre, and whilst most of the students go there for the squads, and to "train" they primarily get coached elsewhere.

From what the parent has talked about so far, he wants me to liase with the person organising the squad so i can fall in with what they are doing. When to my knowledge although it would be beneficial to work along similar lines. I would not of thought that a squad or training session should dictate what the student should be coached.

He has made it quite clear that the main reason for sticking with my lessons is that the girl really enjoys them and feels , like a previous poster has said , that there is a good player to coach relationship (communication, expresses how she feels etc)
He has said that as long as the results are good he is happy to stay with myself.

I don't know whether this is either naive or maybe a little sensitive of me , but i find that quite offensive. I would not expect someone to stay with my coaching for pity or just to keep someone happy. I feel like he is trying to engineer a power shift towards the performance centre. All these comments seem to be saying to me that he is in control and not to get too comfortable. Whether he is trying to do it to motivate me further or not , i am unsure.

My main focus is and always will be the player, and all this extra baggage to me is just silly mind games and a severe annoyance, and i feel a bit unprofessional for it even bothering me .

Sorry for venting, it's just really frustrating. Again any further advice is much appreciated

 

[Ash_Smith]

From what the parent has talked about so far, he wants me to liase with the person organising the squad so i can fall in with what they are doing. When to my knowledge although it would be beneficial to work along similar lines. I would not of thought that a squad or training session should dictate what the student should be coached.

Agreed, I would always dictate that the individual coach controls the technical work. Squads are there for tactical/physical training. You my need to talk to the coach at the SPC/HPC and explain that you will be leading the technical development and that they should liase with you in that regard. That's not to say they shouldn't offer advice based on what they see in her training there, you want a good working relationship with them but you also need to let them know that as her lead coach you will be defining the path she takes.

If the parents are really proving to be a nightmare then i'd be maybe looking to cut my losses - sometimes it's the best thing for you!

 

[Jamesm182]

Thanks Ash, at least i now know i'm sane for thinking that.

I've been coaching for around 3 years or more now, working my way through the qualifications, but this is both the most rewarding/ frustrated i've been thus far.

I think it's just down to him venting, because i know the family as well, he thinks he can press his opinions on to me, where as if it was someone at the centre, there is no way he would be telling me all this , and playing these mind games.

She genuinley is quite talented, i wouldnt go as far to say she's going to be a national prospect, although another club apart from our own have asked her to play in their ageon sponsored junior team) and my main worry is that either with myself or in the future his constant mind games/outbursts/ irrationality, will either hinder her progress or put her off tennis altogether.

She also does a lot of athletics, which she is good at, and i know for a fact that he is nowhere near as involved in that process as he is in this.

In the mean time i suppose i'll just collect my money, and try my best to focus on the student and ignore all the rest of his b.s until the next (undoubted) outburst, when i might well take your advice and cut my losses.

 

[Ash_Smith]

^^^ I think that's the best way to handle it - it's sad really because it sounds like you have the players best interests at heart and it's ultimately her that will end up worse off.