Getting over my ex

[ninman]

Although tbh obvious things to a third person are often not obvious to the first

Love is blind as they say. I'm starting to feel much better about it now, I know I'll forget all about her eventually, but there was a time I would have done anything for her. I even have a book that she bought me for Christmas, and a Christmas card I bought for her, both declaring my love for her, and when I read I think "When did I write that? It must have been a life time ago."

 

[Raiden]

i once had a chinese co-worker. she told me in her opinion, a man should marry a woman 10 years younger than he is because after child birth, the woman would end up looking 10 years older

lol

Good one

 

[ninman]

That tells me your entire purpose in this thread was to get some support for yourself by blaming her.

I don't know if there is another side to this - we are only hearing from you. So I would reserve my judgement about her.

Of course you could see it that way, but this was about me just trying to move on, and in order to do that I have to tell you things from my own point of view. Of course you can't judge her as a person based purely on things that I've said, I was just trying to get some help to understand why if this is the way I remember our relationship, I would want her back, and wouldn't be able to stop thinking about her.

It certainly helped that people were encouraging me to see that all those things I wrote about were bad things, and I shouldn't see it any other way, that was more what I meant. If you met her you would think she was a perfectly nice person, she only treated me like that, for some reason, and to this day I do not understand why.

 

[Puddy]

ninman,

do have a particular preference for chinese girls, or are you open
to other asians as well? are you asian?

here is a website where you can meet a nice, klassy, chinese lady:

http://www.bigbadchinesemama.com/brides/

Nice link!!!

 

[Puddy]

I just want to thank you all for the great advice. Hearing lots of people telling me how horrible she was is really helping me move on. I can take a little comfort though in knowing that her relationship with her new bf was probably arranged by her parents or friends (all of whom heap huge amounts of pressure on her to marry before she turns 30). She told me she's going to get married on Nov.17 to a guy she just met about 2 months ago.

I can see this very clearly now, she's going to marry this guy, he'll get her pregnant, in a year or 2 she'll realise she doesn't like him, but can't leave him because they have a kid together and no Chinese man is going to take a 32 year old woman with a child who is divorced. Next thing I will get a call or an email begging for me back again because her "marriage" didn't work out, either that or she'll spend her life in a very unhappy relationship.

Either that, or the guy will get her pregnant, realise he doesn't love her at all (like I did), and leave her in that condition, unwanted, unloved and alone. I'm starting to heal, little by little, I think in about 2 or 3 months I will have reached the point where I will never think about her again.

I feel for you - no question. It may be fitting to hear HER side of the story, though. 'Can do?

 

[ninman]

I feel for you - no question. It may be fitting to hear HER side of the story, though. 'Can do?

Would that really help, the best I can do is copy and paste an email she sent me just after we broke up.

 

[CanadianChic]

You are ridiculous. Only a chump would do such a thing...no surprise here.

 

[Kobble]

Now, I know why I am scared of marriage.

Every time I see some typical married guy, he looks pathetic, and the chunky woman does all the talking. Is this case the precursor to that scenario? Any who, I got a story...with a lesson. I had a so-called friend who chased this girl around like he was some kind of lap dog. Always trying to get across his appreciation for whatever she had going for her. Maybe, it was her hairy legs. Beats me. You would think this puppy would find true love and happiness with all his dedication. Instead, he grew up to acquire a court date for beating his wife (another lucky girl). What a progression. Another friend-like person I knew always talked about "pure" chicks. Yeah, his last girlfriend had a restraining order slapped against him. Good girl.

So, if you think you resemble one of those clowns, ask yourself, what's love got to do with you?

 

[Kobble]

...Cuz, it is none of your business.