Is it bad to be pleased after a close loss?

[ark_28]

Ok in the past I would be so mad or gutted but right now I am actually taking so many positives!

There this guy super fit div 1 player in our league we used to be even hes 4 years younger than me! Have not played him in a year or so but he was starting to get my number when we last played although I still had my moments against him.

So he challenged me to a best of 5 set match today.

It lasted 4 hours, I won 1st set 6-4 he won next 2 sets 6-4 6-2

I then came back from 4-2 down in 4th and saved match points to win it 7-6 but lost 5th 6-2.

I felt totally flat in the 5th not physically but emotionally as coming back in that 4th took it all out of me.

Despite a little dissapointment in losing the match having invested 4 hours into it! I am actually really pleased at how I fought and managed to take that match into 5 sets!

Is this too negative or bad an attitude? normally I would be a lot more down about a loss than I am right now!

 

[LeeD]

Depends.
If you are a simple minded fool, and care only about winning or losing, you should be really mad and ready to shoot 70 people on a small island.
If you are a human being, you'll realize you tried your best, did your best, and that's all you can really do in life.

 

[Jonny S&V]

As long as I play well, the result doesn't matter. I've had a match where I was zoning, and my opponent was too, and he ended up winning. Was I sad? No, we were both shotmaking to the extent of our abilities, and it was an awesomely fun match.

 

[ark_28]

As long as I play well, the result doesn't matter. I've had a match where I was zoning, and my opponent was too, and he ended up winning. Was I sad? No, we were both shotmaking to the extent of our abilities, and it was an awesomely fun match.

That's so true that's why I posted this!! Usually I take loses so hard and close ones even more so! But today we both played a really high level and I feel like I fought so hard despite being outplayed for large parts of the match I took it to 5 and made him work hard so I can know I tried my best maybe I was disappointed for 5 minutes then over it real fast in the past a loss like that would knock me till I next play a match!

 

[LeeD]

Well, think about this.
There's some kid (crazy looking redhead) who killed a few peeps in a movie theater a while back. His only obvious reason was that he didn't pass some stupid school test. Or maybe that was the trigger.
Hopefully, not you. Or me.

 

[Xizel]

I honestly don't care about the result. It's a nice bonus, but it's more about how I performed compared to the amount of effort and focus I put in.

 

[dominikk1985]

Well, think about this.
There's some kid (crazy looking redhead) who killed a few peeps in a movie theater a while back. His only obvious reason was that he didn't pass some stupid school test. Or maybe that was the trigger.
Hopefully, not you. Or me.

well those kind of psycho are a bit extreme of course but I have read that the super great champions like jordan, gretzky, merckx are often a little bit psycho otherwise they could not create those extreme performances to avoid a loss at all costs.

there is a quote of connors that says "I hate to lose more than I love to win.”. sounds a little bit psycho to me

 

[LeeD]

The champions look within after losing when they expected to win, not lash out at the outside world.
The phsycos lash out.

 

[fuzz nation]

Sounds as though you pushed a stronger opponent to elevate his game over the course of a long match in order to earn a win. One thing that so many of us need to become better players is fundamental belief. From your description of things, you got a ton of it from this experience.

I can sort of relate, having played a real breakthrough match a few years back against an honestly superior opponent. I did a whole lot right and even got the early break in both sets, so this dude had to buckle down and reel me in instead of just hanging around until I missed and donated enough points to his worthy cause. Despite losing 2-and-2, I had never previously sustained such a strong level of play, so the match was a true milestone for me.

Had I been hung up merely on winning or losing that match, I wouldn't have gained much of anything. You sound as though you've got your tennis classroom open 24/7 and that should help both your awareness and development regardless of what the score of any match may be down the road. If you came away from that match all mad at yourself simply because of the loss, then you'd be guilty of playing with unreasonable expectations of yourself.

Remember the other side of this coin: you might play a crummy match and still get away with a win. If you're getting better at keeping track of what you're doing both right and wrong during competition though, you'll be able to make the adjusments that every outing will demand. That means you'll have a better capacity to cut down on mistakes and also play up closer to your potential.

Keep going!

 

[ark_28]

Sounds as though you pushed a stronger opponent to elevate his game over the course of a long match in order to earn a win. One thing that so many of us need to become better players is fundamental belief. From your description of things, you got a ton of it from this experience.

I can sort of relate, having played a real breakthrough match a few years back against an honestly superior opponent. I did a whole lot right and even got the early break in both sets, so this dude had to buckle down and reel me in instead of just hanging around until I missed and donated enough points to his worthy cause. Despite losing 2-and-2, I had never previously sustained such a strong level of play, so the match was a true milestone for me.

Had I been hung up merely on winning or losing that match, I wouldn't have gained much of anything. You sound as though you've got your tennis classroom open 24/7 and that should help both your awareness and development regardless of what the score of any match may be down the road. If you came away from that match all mad at yourself simply because of the loss, then you'd be guilty of playing with unreasonable expectations of yourself.

Remember the other side of this coin: you might play a crummy match and still get away with a win. If you're getting better at keeping track of what you're doing both right and wrong during competition though, you'll be able to make the adjusments that every outing will demand. That means you'll have a better capacity to cut down on mistakes and also play up closer to your potential.

Keep going!

That helps a lot thank you! You are so right the key is that I putnthe result into perspective to be mad at myself would be to have unreasonable expectations! The good news for me in a weird way is I know for sure certain things that I can execute a lot better than I did despite playing pretty well!

What I take from this is that he's definitely a slightly better player than me at this point but if you can take someone to 4 hours and 5 sets I'd like to think on a given day I can beat him too!! I dont think that's too bold or unresonable a claim is it?

It certainly has given me a lot of belief!!

 

[NLBwell]

I can't control how well the other guy played. I can only control how well I played.
If I played well and got beaten by a superior opponent, I'm disappointed but happy. If I played badly and still won, I'm relieved and not so happy.

 

[sureshs]

If you went 5 sets with a Div 1 player, what are you sad about? Most posters here are nowhere close to that level.

 

[r2473]

There this guy super fit div 1 player

So he challenged me to a best of 5 set match today.

It lasted 4 hours, I won 1st set 6-4 he won next 2 sets 6-4 6-2

I then came back from 4-2 down in 4th and saved match points to win it 7-6 but lost 5th 6-2.

You took the first set? Impressive.

A few years back I beat the 14th ranked junior in our state (actually, he just turned 18 or 19 or whatever it is and was no longer a junior). He gave me a bagel in the first set, but I ground his arse down to eek out the second set and fairly easily take the third set.

I'd be pretty proud winning the first set when you were both fresh and most likely playing at your highest level. Sounds like if you were fitter, you'd take him.

 

[KenC]

Well, think about this.
There's some kid (crazy looking redhead) who killed a few peeps in a movie theater a while back. His only obvious reason was that he didn't pass some stupid school test. Or maybe that was the trigger.
Hopefully, not you. Or me.

We live in a sick society that constantly pushes us to go postal, or maybe now it should be called "theatrical" when we don't get immediate satisfaction. I like the sound of that, "If I don't win I'm going theatrical!"

Seriously though, tennis is just a game and a great way to spend time with like-minded friends. Next time just say before the match that the winner buys the beer afterward. That way you both win.

 

[bboy_beez]

i believe if you play your best you shouldn't blame yourself for the lost. It is what it is. If you played you're best and he won, you have own also. I can relate a bit on your experience, I have a cousin in his early 40's, he's a really cosistent player, but I remember a game when I really went all out, I felt really confident all my strokes and really made he earn the point. In the end, I lost, but gained a lot from it too. They say you learn more from your loss than your wins, and I beleive it true