Letter from Milos Raonic on Saturday to His Past Self on Friday

[JMR]

Dear Milosh (on Friday),

May I call you Milosh? I think I'm more efficient when communicating on a first-name basis. Besides, I feel like I know you. You look a little like that player who used to wear a Joan Crawford sleeve on his arm. But he was thinner.

I hope you are having a pleasant yesterday. No doubt you played a fine match against Sam Querrey. He's ... he's good, he really is. You have a reason to be happy. Carpe diem, right? And all those people who say that it takes several diems in a row to amount to anything -- don't listen to them. You've earned this!

I recall that reaching the semifinals of Indian Wells was one of your biggest career goals, so it's time to check off another box on the Raonic Bucket List! What's that you say? You've made the semifinals before, and even a final one year? Oh yes, I remember now. Well, well, well. But you can never have too many Masters semifinals, right?

I don't want to take any more time away from the afterglow, so let me close with two pieces of advice:

1. Juan Martin Del Potro -- you know that big guy? looks a bit like an Indricotherium? -- has been known to be a little unsteady when walking on unexpectedly wet locker room floors. Ask Genie Bouchard about this.

2. The nightclub where you put down the big deposit for the Sunday night celebration party -- I hear they require 48 hours' notice of cancellation for a refund. Just a bit of trivia.

Best,
Milos Raonic (on Saturday)

 

[MLRoy]

Dear Milosh (on Friday),

May I call you Milosh? I think I'm more efficient when communicating on a first-name basis. Besides, I feel like I know you. You look a little like that player who used to wear a Joan Crawford sleeve on his arm. But he was thinner.

I hope you are having a pleasant yesterday. No doubt you played a fine match against Sam Querrey. He's ... he's good, he really is. You have a reason to be happy. Carpe diem, right? And all those people who say that it takes several diems in a row to amount to anything -- don't listen to them. You've earned this!

I recall that reaching the semifinals of Indian Wells was one of your biggest career goals, so it's time to check off another box on the Raonic Bucket List! What's that you say? You've made the semifinals before, and even a final one year? Oh yes, I remember now. Well, well, well. But you can never have too many Masters semifinals, right?

I don't want to take any more time away from the afterglow, so let me close with two pieces of advice:

1. Juan Martin Del Potro -- you know that big guy? looks a bit like an Indricotherium? -- has been known to be a little unsteady when walking on unexpectedly wet locker room floors. Ask Genie Bouchard about this.

2. The nightclub where you put down the big deposit for the Sunday night celebration party -- I hear they require 48 hours' notice of cancellation for a refund. Just a bit of trivia.

Best,
Milos Raonic (on Saturday)

OMG, I love it! Will he be reading that after hissing at Goran, then walking, just like Miss Joan Crawford, back to his seat at 0-5 in Miami?!

Here's mine:
"Dear Best Friend,

Mr. and Mrs. Raonic didn't invest into your game not to see a return. Pun intended. Remember to bend your knees. If the pressure gets to you, "ejaculate" it into Goran's face. You're paying him, after all. You can do what ever you want to the help. That's why we love $$$$$. If anyone boos, remember, they're just jealous. If the umpire is uppity, remember: he can be replaced. But no one can replace you. Always remember:

You're a good person.
People like and admire you.
People who don't like you are jealous.

It's only a matter of time before you win the first slam. Put in the work, and the rest will follow.

All my love,
M.

 

[tennis_pro]

I would love to see Bill Burr take on this.

 

[MrFlip]

Dear Milo

Deny you touched the net

Wait for talk tennis members to say how they like you because they have the memory of a goldfish. Anyone who says you're not a stand-up guy is bitter that they're not you.

 

[vive le beau jeu !]

i'm a bit confused: thought it was just a 'return to sender' with the letter that the present milos' past self sent to his own future milos self (with acknowledgement of receipt?)... was a bit concerned for the very fabric of the space-time continuum !

 

[JMR]

I would love to see Bill Burr take on this.

Does he also wear a sleeve?

 

[JMR]

i'm a bit confused: thought it was just a 'return to sender' with the letter that the present milos' past self sent to his own future milos self (with acknowledgement of receipt?)... was a bit concerned for the very fabric of the space-time continuum!

Once a channel has been opened, the Raonics naturally spend a lot of time chatting. I hear they are pretty close.