OK, Now the Nonsense Starts in the Parking Lot

The only thing the guy did wrong was let Cindy sit there for 2 minutes with her blinker on knowing he wasn't leaving yet. He should have noticed her sitting there waiting for the spot and waived her on right away. I suppose he also could have given her a time estimate for his wait for his child. He has no obligation to give up the spot (and we don't even know how long the other child was going to be, it could have been a pretty long time).
Uh, sorry, no. Unless otherwise noted, parking is available on a first-come, first-served basis. He got to the spot first and it's his until he leaves. He doesn't need to justify his use of the spot to anyone and he doesn't need to be on constant lookout for overly aggressive people who think that they are entitled to the spot simply because they want it. If that guy wants to chill out in his car for duration of his kid's match as opposed to spending that time inside a building crowded with screaming children, that is perfectly fine and everyone else should have the decency to just leave him to it without pounding on his window and asking him when he will leave.

That guy did not make Cindy sit there for 2 minutes, she chose to do that. She could have used that time to find a parking spot that was available, but she decided to be the person that she complains about in her post above: a primal, apelike person trying to mark some territory.
 
Along with oldies who take forever to get out of their car as they carefully check their adult diapers, water bottles, condition of frames, position their hand and knee braces, and eventually slowly move away from the car (mini Cooper). Unless of course a friend of similar age pulls up close (Porche) and they trade dirty jokes in the parking lot before he too finishes his rituals and finally head to the court together.
Substitute (Lotus) and (Harley) for the "oldies" vehicles. With yoga, Tai-Chi and Pilates, senior vet players are getting pretty flexible in their golden-ball years, not having to sit in a cubicle all day pushing paper and sorting paperclips as the Millenials have to do all day, stiffening up and getting sore backs.
 
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Searah

Semi-Pro
i mean he wasn't ready to go yet.
nothing can be done.
my tennis court has parents all the time waiting for their child.

if more cars came and he wasn't in a parking spot then he'd have to awkwardly maneuver around for 1.cars trying to get out. 2. people picking up children.
i'd be a lot more at ease if i had a parking spot when picking someone up.

tho yeah not safe for girls to be traveling in the dark at night but can ask a teammate to walk you back to car.
or just make sure you get there earlier for a parking spot to avoid this.
 

J_R_B

Hall of Fame
Uh, sorry, no. Unless otherwise noted, parking is available on a first-come, first-served basis. He got to the spot first and it's his until he leaves. He doesn't need to justify his use of the spot to anyone and he doesn't need to be on constant lookout for overly aggressive people who think that they are entitled to the spot simply because they want it. If that guy wants to chill out in his car for duration of his kid's match as opposed to spending that time inside a building crowded with screaming children, that is perfectly fine and everyone else should have the decency to just leave him to it without pounding on his window and asking him when he will leave.

That guy did not make Cindy sit there for 2 minutes, she chose to do that. She could have used that time to find a parking spot that was available, but she decided to be the person that she complains about in her post above: a primal, apelike person trying to mark some territory.
Your reading comprehension leaves more than a little to be desired. LOL. I said he can sit there as long as he want, that's fine.

It is kind of a dick move to let someone else sit behind you with their blinkers on waiting for you to move if you're not going to be moving soon. It's common courtesy to just wave her on or something to let her know he's not moving any time soon so she can go find another spot.
 

sureshs

Bionic Poster
Substitute (Lotus) and (Harley) for the "oldies" vehicles. With yoga, Tai-Chi and Pilates, senior vet players are getting pretty flexible in their golden-ball years, not having to sit in a cubicle all day pushing paper and sorting paperclips as the Millenials have to do all day, stiffening up and getting sore backs.

True. Retired people are sometimes now in better shape than the working generation and play a lot more tennis.
 

sureshs

Bionic Poster
Your reading comprehension leaves more than a little to be desired. LOL. I said he can sit there as long as he want, that's fine.

It is kind of a dick move to let someone else sit behind you with their blinkers on waiting for you to move if you're not going to be moving soon. It's common courtesy to just wave her on or something to let her know he's not moving any time soon so she can go find another spot.

How many times does it need to be pointed out that a person inside a parked car for an extended period of time will not be monitoring traffic constantly on his rear view mirror. He may be reading or using the phone or taking a nap. Your comments only apply to those who get into a car in full view of waiting cars and then sit there or get out again without signaling to the waiters that they are not moving their car. This case is NOT that.
 

rogerroger917

Hall of Fame
Along with oldies who take forever to get out of their car as they carefully check their adult diapers, water bottles, condition of frames, position their hand and knee braces, and eventually slowly move away from the car (mini Cooper). Unless of course a friend of similar age pulls up close (Porche) and they trade dirty jokes in the parking lot before he too finishes his rituals and finally head to the court together.
True. The braces take a long time to properly situate.

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sureshs

Bionic Poster
True. The braces take a long time to properly situate.

Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk

Whenever I see an oldie with a brace, I tell him 2 things: 1) the brace is useless unless it is of medical quality and advised by a doctor 2) your basic problem is bad technique causing those injuries. That makes them mad.
 

Bluefan75

Professional
Another day, another dramatic event in the life of cindysphinx.

And OP is wrong. The other guy was nice. He could have told you GTFO.

I think people need to recalibrate what nice is. There is a difference between nice, and "you need to accommodate my needs to possibly your own inconvenience." OP is clearly confusing the two.
 

Matthew ATX

Semi-Pro
Whenever I see an oldie with a brace, I tell him 2 things: 1) the brace is useless unless it is of medical quality and advised by a doctor 2) your basic problem is bad technique causing those injuries. That makes them mad.

Why would that make them mad? I love getting unsolicited medical advice from random strangers who aren't doctors.
 

mucat

Hall of Fame
How many times does it need to be pointed out that a person inside a parked car for an extended period of time will not be monitoring traffic constantly on his rear view mirror. He may be reading or using the phone or taking a nap. Your comments only apply to those who get into a car in full view of waiting cars and then sit there or get out again without signaling to the waiters that they are not moving their car. This case is NOT that.

Not back in to space? :eek::sick::rolleyes:
 
Any new insults and rudeness from the common peasants to report today?

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Looks like this thread is petering out at three pages--not bad for one parking space! The underlying issue is why does this club not have sufficient parking for its members and guests? Women and children have to endure potentially dangerous conditions, slogging through dark muddy fields at night to recreate with who knows what criminal elements waiting under cover of darkness to rob, kidnap, rape or worse! Why do parents have to sit in their vehicles to make sure their charges aren't snatched up on their way home from a junior clinic at the club?--I can remember riding my bike or walking home in the dark from recreating without undue fear of being harmed or worse from denizens lurking in the dark. It sounds like there are empty fields surrounding the club that could be developed for additional safe lighted parking so the OP would not have to place herself in harm's way. Perhaps Congress can get back to work and provide some funding earmarked for public safety so the club can create additional parking, extra police patrols or hire a security guard for the safety of it's citizens while recreating in the dark of winter.
 

Cindysphinx

G.O.A.T.
You guys have done me a tremendous favor: You have killed NiceCindy.

I was in a crowded Body Pump class at my gym today. For those unfamiliar, Body Pump is a weight lifting class where people set up their area with a step, the barbell and weights, and perhaps hand weights. This takes some space, and people set up in staggered rows.

As usual, I arrived early to get my preferred spot -- second row, near the window. I set up my bench and barbell, and I went to get more equipment. A friend set up on my left, a normal distance from me.

When I returned to my spot, Becky had set up on my right, with the end of her bench inches from mine. I hesitated and puzzled over Becky's strange decision to jam right next to me such that she wouldn't have anywhere to put her feet. There was a good six feet of space behind where she had set up and space on her other side to scooch over.

My friend whispered to me, "She has to be under the ceiling fan; I don't know why." Sure enough, Becky had set up exactly under a ceiling fan. Clearly she has some sort of disorder that means she needs that spot. It's February; it is in no way hot in this exercise room. I guess she just likes it there.

Now, NiceCindy would have said, "Oh, hey. Should I move back a bit so we have more space?" And I would have moved back, which carries with it the risk that another student would squeeze in front of me and crowd me. But I would have done it to be nice.

Not ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy. She is done doing anyone a favor if it inconveniences her in even the slightest way. I stood my ground and did not move an inch. I waited for Becky to ask me to move, and I had my answer ready to go if needed: "No, I'd prefer to stay where I am; there's plenty of room behind you." As I stood there pretending not to notice, Becky finally turned her bench 45 degrees. Throughout the class, she had to keep re-positioning things to keep them out of people's way.

I have to say, I think I am going to like ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy. No more letting people with one item go ahead of me at the grocery store or Costco. No more letting people go ahead at airport security if they're about to miss their flight. No more letting the lady with a little kid or the pregnant lady go ahead in line in the bathroom. No more waving people ahead in traffic.

ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy will continue to give up her seat on trains, though. NiceCindy fainted on the Metro when she was 7 months pregnant when no one gave her a seat, and even ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy isn't selfish enough to wish that on anyone.
 

rogerroger917

Hall of Fame
You guys have done me a tremendous favor: You have killed NiceCindy.

I was in a crowded Body Pump class at my gym today. For those unfamiliar, Body Pump is a weight lifting class where people set up their area with a step, the barbell and weights, and perhaps hand weights. This takes some space, and people set up in staggered rows.

As usual, I arrived early to get my preferred spot -- second row, near the window. I set up my bench and barbell, and I went to get more equipment. A friend set up on my left, a normal distance from me.

When I returned to my spot, Becky had set up on my right, with the end of her bench inches from mine. I hesitated and puzzled over Becky's strange decision to jam right next to me such that she wouldn't have anywhere to put her feet. There was a good six feet of space behind where she had set up and space on her other side to scooch over.

My friend whispered to me, "She has to be under the ceiling fan; I don't know why." Sure enough, Becky had set up exactly under a ceiling fan. Clearly she has some sort of disorder that means she needs that spot. It's February; it is in no way hot in this exercise room. I guess she just likes it there.

Now, NiceCindy would have said, "Oh, hey. Should I move back a bit so we have more space?" And I would have moved back, which carries with it the risk that another student would squeeze in front of me and crowd me. But I would have done it to be nice.

Not ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy. She is done doing anyone a favor if it inconveniences her in even the slightest way. I stood my ground and did not move an inch. I waited for Becky to ask me to move, and I had my answer ready to go if needed: "No, I'd prefer to stay where I am; there's plenty of room behind you." As I stood there pretending not to notice, Becky finally turned her bench 45 degrees. Throughout the class, she had to keep re-positioning things to keep them out of people's way.

I have to say, I think I am going to like ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy. No more letting people with one item go ahead of me at the grocery store or Costco. No more letting people go ahead at airport security if they're about to miss their flight. No more letting the lady with a little kid or the pregnant lady go ahead in line in the bathroom. No more waving people ahead in traffic.

ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy will continue to give up her seat on trains, though. NiceCindy fainted on the Metro when she was 7 months pregnant when no one gave her a seat, and even ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy isn't selfish enough to wish that on anyone.
Sounds like the same entitled Cindy from the 1st post. Lol. Just admit you were wrong and move on.

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NLBwell

Legend
You guys have done me a tremendous favor: You have killed NiceCindy.

I was in a crowded Body Pump class at my gym today. For those unfamiliar, Body Pump is a weight lifting class where people set up their area with a step, the barbell and weights, and perhaps hand weights. This takes some space, and people set up in staggered rows.

As usual, I arrived early to get my preferred spot -- second row, near the window. I set up my bench and barbell, and I went to get more equipment. A friend set up on my left, a normal distance from me.

When I returned to my spot, Becky had set up on my right, with the end of her bench inches from mine. I hesitated and puzzled over Becky's strange decision to jam right next to me such that she wouldn't have anywhere to put her feet. There was a good six feet of space behind where she had set up and space on her other side to scooch over.

My friend whispered to me, "She has to be under the ceiling fan; I don't know why." Sure enough, Becky had set up exactly under a ceiling fan. Clearly she has some sort of disorder that means she needs that spot. It's February; it is in no way hot in this exercise room. I guess she just likes it there.

Now, NiceCindy would have said, "Oh, hey. Should I move back a bit so we have more space?" And I would have moved back, which carries with it the risk that another student would squeeze in front of me and crowd me. But I would have done it to be nice.

Not ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy. She is done doing anyone a favor if it inconveniences her in even the slightest way. I stood my ground and did not move an inch. I waited for Becky to ask me to move, and I had my answer ready to go if needed: "No, I'd prefer to stay where I am; there's plenty of room behind you." As I stood there pretending not to notice, Becky finally turned her bench 45 degrees. Throughout the class, she had to keep re-positioning things to keep them out of people's way.

I have to say, I think I am going to like ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy. No more letting people with one item go ahead of me at the grocery store or Costco. No more letting people go ahead at airport security if they're about to miss their flight. No more letting the lady with a little kid or the pregnant lady go ahead in line in the bathroom. No more waving people ahead in traffic.

ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy will continue to give up her seat on trains, though. NiceCindy fainted on the Metro when she was 7 months pregnant when no one gave her a seat, and even ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy isn't selfish enough to wish that on anyone.
So now, you've moved to Boston, too?
 

Turbo-87

G.O.A.T.
You guys have done me a tremendous favor: You have killed NiceCindy.

I was in a crowded Body Pump class at my gym today. For those unfamiliar, Body Pump is a weight lifting class where people set up their area with a step, the barbell and weights, and perhaps hand weights. This takes some space, and people set up in staggered rows.

As usual, I arrived early to get my preferred spot -- second row, near the window. I set up my bench and barbell, and I went to get more equipment. A friend set up on my left, a normal distance from me.

When I returned to my spot, Becky had set up on my right, with the end of her bench inches from mine. I hesitated and puzzled over Becky's strange decision to jam right next to me such that she wouldn't have anywhere to put her feet. There was a good six feet of space behind where she had set up and space on her other side to scooch over.

My friend whispered to me, "She has to be under the ceiling fan; I don't know why." Sure enough, Becky had set up exactly under a ceiling fan. Clearly she has some sort of disorder that means she needs that spot. It's February; it is in no way hot in this exercise room. I guess she just likes it there.

Now, NiceCindy would have said, "Oh, hey. Should I move back a bit so we have more space?" And I would have moved back, which carries with it the risk that another student would squeeze in front of me and crowd me. But I would have done it to be nice.

Not ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy. She is done doing anyone a favor if it inconveniences her in even the slightest way. I stood my ground and did not move an inch. I waited for Becky to ask me to move, and I had my answer ready to go if needed: "No, I'd prefer to stay where I am; there's plenty of room behind you." As I stood there pretending not to notice, Becky finally turned her bench 45 degrees. Throughout the class, she had to keep re-positioning things to keep them out of people's way.

I have to say, I think I am going to like ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy. No more letting people with one item go ahead of me at the grocery store or Costco. No more letting people go ahead at airport security if they're about to miss their flight. No more letting the lady with a little kid or the pregnant lady go ahead in line in the bathroom. No more waving people ahead in traffic.

ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy will continue to give up her seat on trains, though. NiceCindy fainted on the Metro when she was 7 months pregnant when no one gave her a seat, and even ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy isn't selfish enough to wish that on anyone.
What did I just read? I thought dgold44 was weird but this takes the prize.
 
I have to say, I think I am going to like ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy. No more letting people with one item go ahead of me at the grocery store or Costco. No more letting people go ahead at airport security if they're about to miss their flight. No more letting the lady with a little kid or the pregnant lady go ahead in line in the bathroom. No more waving people ahead in traffic.
"Let no good deed go unpunished."
 
It is kind of a dick move to let someone else sit behind you with their blinkers on waiting for you to move if you're not going to be moving soon. It's common courtesy to just wave her on or something to let her know he's not moving any time soon so she can go find another spot.

This ^
 

EP1998

Semi-Pro
Your reading comprehension leaves more than a little to be desired. LOL. I said he can sit there as long as he want, that's fine.

It is kind of a dick move to let someone else sit behind you with their blinkers on waiting for you to move if you're not going to be moving soon. It's common courtesy to just wave her on or something to let her know he's not moving any time soon so she can go find another spot.

Totally agree. The guy walked out and put his kid in the seat while Cindy had her blinker on waiting for the spot. Pretty easy to wave to her in some manner to show he isn't leaving.
 

MathGeek

Hall of Fame
ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy.

The Golden Rule is a double standard. It requires that we be more kind to others than we expect in return.

You seem to be espousing more "an eye for an eye" thinking.

Good people are willing to do for others much more than they expect in return.
 

J_R_B

Hall of Fame
You guys have done me a tremendous favor: You have killed NiceCindy.

I was in a crowded Body Pump class at my gym today. For those unfamiliar, Body Pump is a weight lifting class where people set up their area with a step, the barbell and weights, and perhaps hand weights. This takes some space, and people set up in staggered rows.

As usual, I arrived early to get my preferred spot -- second row, near the window. I set up my bench and barbell, and I went to get more equipment. A friend set up on my left, a normal distance from me.

When I returned to my spot, Becky had set up on my right, with the end of her bench inches from mine. I hesitated and puzzled over Becky's strange decision to jam right next to me such that she wouldn't have anywhere to put her feet. There was a good six feet of space behind where she had set up and space on her other side to scooch over.

My friend whispered to me, "She has to be under the ceiling fan; I don't know why." Sure enough, Becky had set up exactly under a ceiling fan. Clearly she has some sort of disorder that means she needs that spot. It's February; it is in no way hot in this exercise room. I guess she just likes it there.

Now, NiceCindy would have said, "Oh, hey. Should I move back a bit so we have more space?" And I would have moved back, which carries with it the risk that another student would squeeze in front of me and crowd me. But I would have done it to be nice.

Not ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy. She is done doing anyone a favor if it inconveniences her in even the slightest way. I stood my ground and did not move an inch. I waited for Becky to ask me to move, and I had my answer ready to go if needed: "No, I'd prefer to stay where I am; there's plenty of room behind you." As I stood there pretending not to notice, Becky finally turned her bench 45 degrees. Throughout the class, she had to keep re-positioning things to keep them out of people's way.

I have to say, I think I am going to like ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy. No more letting people with one item go ahead of me at the grocery store or Costco. No more letting people go ahead at airport security if they're about to miss their flight. No more letting the lady with a little kid or the pregnant lady go ahead in line in the bathroom. No more waving people ahead in traffic.

ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy will continue to give up her seat on trains, though. NiceCindy fainted on the Metro when she was 7 months pregnant when no one gave her a seat, and even ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy isn't selfish enough to wish that on anyone.
Well, you were not in any way obligated to give up your spot that you had already claimed to Becky, ceiling fan or not (unless she says the ceiling fan is part of her cancer treatment or something, LOL), so good for you for standing your ground there. In general, though, you appear to struggle sorting out social cues and common courtesy.
 

Fxanimator1

Hall of Fame
You guys have done me a tremendous favor: You have killed NiceCindy.

I was in a crowded Body Pump class at my gym today. For those unfamiliar, Body Pump is a weight lifting class where people set up their area with a step, the barbell and weights, and perhaps hand weights. This takes some space, and people set up in staggered rows.

As usual, I arrived early to get my preferred spot -- second row, near the window. I set up my bench and barbell, and I went to get more equipment. A friend set up on my left, a normal distance from me.

When I returned to my spot, Becky had set up on my right, with the end of her bench inches from mine. I hesitated and puzzled over Becky's strange decision to jam right next to me such that she wouldn't have anywhere to put her feet. There was a good six feet of space behind where she had set up and space on her other side to scooch over.

My friend whispered to me, "She has to be under the ceiling fan; I don't know why." Sure enough, Becky had set up exactly under a ceiling fan. Clearly she has some sort of disorder that means she needs that spot. It's February; it is in no way hot in this exercise room. I guess she just likes it there.

Now, NiceCindy would have said, "Oh, hey. Should I move back a bit so we have more space?" And I would have moved back, which carries with it the risk that another student would squeeze in front of me and crowd me. But I would have done it to be nice.

Not ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy. She is done doing anyone a favor if it inconveniences her in even the slightest way. I stood my ground and did not move an inch. I waited for Becky to ask me to move, and I had my answer ready to go if needed: "No, I'd prefer to stay where I am; there's plenty of room behind you." As I stood there pretending not to notice, Becky finally turned her bench 45 degrees. Throughout the class, she had to keep re-positioning things to keep them out of people's way.

I have to say, I think I am going to like ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy. No more letting people with one item go ahead of me at the grocery store or Costco. No more letting people go ahead at airport security if they're about to miss their flight. No more letting the lady with a little kid or the pregnant lady go ahead in line in the bathroom. No more waving people ahead in traffic.

ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy will continue to give up her seat on trains, though. NiceCindy fainted on the Metro when she was 7 months pregnant when no one gave her a seat, and even ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy isn't selfish enough to wish that on anyone.
Tennis is a very mental endeavor to chose as a recreation.
 

Mr.Lob

G.O.A.T.
I don't know, excuse but maybe you guys see things under another light where you live but if someone is using a parking spot it is theirs no matter what and I don't see anything wrong with him staying in the spot he has, he could do a favor by moving but is not a rude thing not to.

Depends on how soon he was expecting his son. 5 minutes....move. More than that who wants to be moving their car all over a parking lot. Plus, there was the buckled in child. Safer to stay put.
 
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Strawbewwy

Rookie
You guys have done me a tremendous favor: You have killed NiceCindy.

I was in a crowded Body Pump class at my gym today. For those unfamiliar, Body Pump is a weight lifting class where people set up their area with a step, the barbell and weights, and perhaps hand weights. This takes some space, and people set up in staggered rows.

As usual, I arrived early to get my preferred spot -- second row, near the window. I set up my bench and barbell, and I went to get more equipment. A friend set up on my left, a normal distance from me.

When I returned to my spot, Becky had set up on my right, with the end of her bench inches from mine. I hesitated and puzzled over Becky's strange decision to jam right next to me such that she wouldn't have anywhere to put her feet. There was a good six feet of space behind where she had set up and space on her other side to scooch over.

My friend whispered to me, "She has to be under the ceiling fan; I don't know why." Sure enough, Becky had set up exactly under a ceiling fan. Clearly she has some sort of disorder that means she needs that spot. It's February; it is in no way hot in this exercise room. I guess she just likes it there.

Now, NiceCindy would have said, "Oh, hey. Should I move back a bit so we have more space?" And I would have moved back, which carries with it the risk that another student would squeeze in front of me and crowd me. But I would have done it to be nice.

Not ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy. She is done doing anyone a favor if it inconveniences her in even the slightest way. I stood my ground and did not move an inch. I waited for Becky to ask me to move, and I had my answer ready to go if needed: "No, I'd prefer to stay where I am; there's plenty of room behind you." As I stood there pretending not to notice, Becky finally turned her bench 45 degrees. Throughout the class, she had to keep re-positioning things to keep them out of people's way.

I have to say, I think I am going to like ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy. No more letting people with one item go ahead of me at the grocery store or Costco. No more letting people go ahead at airport security if they're about to miss their flight. No more letting the lady with a little kid or the pregnant lady go ahead in line in the bathroom. No more waving people ahead in traffic.

ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy will continue to give up her seat on trains, though. NiceCindy fainted on the Metro when she was 7 months pregnant when no one gave her a seat, and even ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy isn't selfish enough to wish that on anyone.

There's no reason to give yourself a reason to justify not being "nice"

Being nice to others while expecting(demanding?) others to return the same is not a genuine kind of nice, you can't change other people but you can choose to be who you are comfortable to be or want to be. You can be sad when others aren't treating you with the same "standards" that you give others, but ultimately you shouldn't be "bitter" about it and change your own perspective because of others.

Just be nice and smile more and be happy yourself from the fact that you yourself can be and are kind to others, your fulfillment don't need to come from others but yourself :)
 

samarai

Semi-Pro
its his spot, not like he fought u for the spot. He'll move when he is ready to move. I dont see what the problem is? just find another spot.
 

silentkman

Hall of Fame
You guys have done me a tremendous favor: You have killed NiceCindy.

I was in a crowded Body Pump class at my gym today. For those unfamiliar, Body Pump is a weight lifting class where people set up their area with a step, the barbell and weights, and perhaps hand weights. This takes some space, and people set up in staggered rows.

As usual, I arrived early to get my preferred spot -- second row, near the window. I set up my bench and barbell, and I went to get more equipment. A friend set up on my left, a normal distance from me.

When I returned to my spot, Becky had set up on my right, with the end of her bench inches from mine. I hesitated and puzzled over Becky's strange decision to jam right next to me such that she wouldn't have anywhere to put her feet. There was a good six feet of space behind where she had set up and space on her other side to scooch over.

My friend whispered to me, "She has to be under the ceiling fan; I don't know why." Sure enough, Becky had set up exactly under a ceiling fan. Clearly she has some sort of disorder that means she needs that spot. It's February; it is in no way hot in this exercise room. I guess she just likes it there.

Now, NiceCindy would have said, "Oh, hey. Should I move back a bit so we have more space?" And I would have moved back, which carries with it the risk that another student would squeeze in front of me and crowd me. But I would have done it to be nice.

Not ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy. She is done doing anyone a favor if it inconveniences her in even the slightest way. I stood my ground and did not move an inch. I waited for Becky to ask me to move, and I had my answer ready to go if needed: "No, I'd prefer to stay where I am; there's plenty of room behind you." As I stood there pretending not to notice, Becky finally turned her bench 45 degrees. Throughout the class, she had to keep re-positioning things to keep them out of people's way.

I have to say, I think I am going to like ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy. No more letting people with one item go ahead of me at the grocery store or Costco. No more letting people go ahead at airport security if they're about to miss their flight. No more letting the lady with a little kid or the pregnant lady go ahead in line in the bathroom. No more waving people ahead in traffic.

ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy will continue to give up her seat on trains, though. NiceCindy fainted on the Metro when she was 7 months pregnant when no one gave her a seat, and even ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy isn't selfish enough to wish that on anyone.

all of this over a parking spot? sheesh
 

Cashman

Hall of Fame
You guys have done me a tremendous favor: You have killed NiceCindy.

I was in a crowded Body Pump class at my gym today. For those unfamiliar, Body Pump is a weight lifting class where people set up their area with a step, the barbell and weights, and perhaps hand weights. This takes some space, and people set up in staggered rows.

As usual, I arrived early to get my preferred spot -- second row, near the window. I set up my bench and barbell, and I went to get more equipment. A friend set up on my left, a normal distance from me.

When I returned to my spot, Becky had set up on my right, with the end of her bench inches from mine. I hesitated and puzzled over Becky's strange decision to jam right next to me such that she wouldn't have anywhere to put her feet. There was a good six feet of space behind where she had set up and space on her other side to scooch over.

My friend whispered to me, "She has to be under the ceiling fan; I don't know why." Sure enough, Becky had set up exactly under a ceiling fan. Clearly she has some sort of disorder that means she needs that spot. It's February; it is in no way hot in this exercise room. I guess she just likes it there.

Now, NiceCindy would have said, "Oh, hey. Should I move back a bit so we have more space?" And I would have moved back, which carries with it the risk that another student would squeeze in front of me and crowd me. But I would have done it to be nice.

Not ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy. She is done doing anyone a favor if it inconveniences her in even the slightest way. I stood my ground and did not move an inch. I waited for Becky to ask me to move, and I had my answer ready to go if needed: "No, I'd prefer to stay where I am; there's plenty of room behind you." As I stood there pretending not to notice, Becky finally turned her bench 45 degrees. Throughout the class, she had to keep re-positioning things to keep them out of people's way.

I have to say, I think I am going to like ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy. No more letting people with one item go ahead of me at the grocery store or Costco. No more letting people go ahead at airport security if they're about to miss their flight. No more letting the lady with a little kid or the pregnant lady go ahead in line in the bathroom. No more waving people ahead in traffic.

ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy will continue to give up her seat on trains, though. NiceCindy fainted on the Metro when she was 7 months pregnant when no one gave her a seat, and even ScrewYouIWasHereFirstCindy isn't selfish enough to wish that on anyone.
Alzheimer’s check-up time, I think.
 

kevrol

Hall of Fame
I think Cindy knows where the majority stand on this even if she doesn't want to ackowledge. It's probably a good time to let this thread go and stop attacking her for it. This thread aside I've always appreciated her thoughts and contributions to this board. Am hopeful she'll feel welcome to continue expressing her opinions and contributing going forward.
 
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sureshs

Bionic Poster
No more letting people go ahead at airport security if they're about to miss their flight.

That is not a good idea for several reasons:

1. By informing an agent, they can sometimes get escorted early if they are very late.
2. People behind you, including those late for the same flight who are in line and crossing their fingers, will get upset if you let others cut the line. Even those scheduled on other flights can have various reasons to get upset - like those with kids, old people, people with medical issues you don't know about, etc.
3. Airport security does not want to deal with people causing commotion by asking to go ahead. If they ask you, they will ask someone else again and so on, and someone rapidly cutting across a line is just not what security wants to manage these days.
4. This is quite unlike giving up your bus or subway seat for an older person. That is usually a one-time thing. In this case, you are exerting moral pressure on everyone else to allow the person to go first.
 

MathGeek

Hall of Fame
Somehow I think you don't mean double standard, but more like a 2-way obligation. Double standard means hypocrisy.

No, I mean double standard in the sense that the expectation is that one has a higher standard for one's self than for others.

Hypocrisy is having a higher standard for others than for one's self - giving one's self a pass for behavior that one judges harshly in others. There is nothing hypocritical for giving others a pass for behavior that one recognizes in one's self as needing improvement.

Consider the language of the Golden Rule -

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

It is not "do to others as they have done to you" or "do to yourself as they do to you" or "do to others what you think they want you to." Nor is there any sense of dependence of the obligation of others to you. It is absolutely a 1-way obligation. Regardless of how others might treat you. Imagine if the roles were reversed in a situation, what would you want the response of others to be toward you? "Do that."
 

sureshs

Bionic Poster
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

I have never found much use for the Golden Rule. I find most interactions with people asymmetric, so there is really no comparison between what happens one way and what happens the other way. Also, circumstances can be entirely different from case to case. As an example, I once had to be extremely rude to the customer service representative of a company which was billing me for something I never signed up for. It was only my nastiness and threat to take it to the next level that forced her to give me a refund. Later I learned that such agents are trained not to give an inch unless the customer gets angry. These days, they even have mood-detection software listening in to take actions based on the customer's tone. The problem is that she was trying to keep her job by doing what she was told to do, and I had to get my refund back, and I could not afford to be nice to her anymore. Saying "I know you don't mean to do what you are doing but please can you help me" does not go anywhere.

Most situations today are like that. People seldom have the freedom to choose how they behave.

Yes basic idea of showing mutual respect in everyday small inconsequential situations is fine, but today's issues are much more complex, and the people and corporations in control are stacked against you with nothing on your side, so there is really no question about being nice. Being gracious in a tennis match is really not what the world is about, and the old adage about "be the change you want to make" or "do a good deed everyday" needs to be replaced with "lookout for the common good and those who would take it away from us."
 

Chip 'n Charge

New User
I have never found much use for the Golden Rule. I find most interactions with people asymmetric, so there is really no comparison between what happens one way and what happens the other way. Also, circumstances can be entirely different from case to case. As an example, I once had to be extremely rude to the customer service representative of a company which was billing me for something I never signed up for. It was only my nastiness and threat to take it to the next level that forced her to give me a refund. Later I learned that such agents are trained not to give an inch unless the customer gets angry. These days, they even have mood-detection software listening in to take actions based on the customer's tone. The problem is that she was trying to keep her job by doing what she was told to do, and I had to get my refund back, and I could not afford to be nice to her anymore. Saying "I know you don't mean to do what you are doing but please can you help me" does not go anywhere.

Most situations today are like that. People seldom have the freedom to choose how they behave.

Yes basic idea of showing mutual respect in everyday small inconsequential situations is fine, but today's issues are much more complex, and the people and corporations in control are stacked against you with nothing on your side, so there is really no question about being nice. Being gracious in a tennis match is really not what the world is about, and the old adage about "be the change you want to make" or "do a good deed everyday" needs to be replaced with "lookout for the common good and those who would take it away from us."

 
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