What parents should say to their kids to train more ?

[frugal]

Hi my friends,

on today's world, where kids have all the conditions and stuff,

how shall parents push their kids to play sports (tennis or other) ?

What can a parent tell them to remove them from the IPAD's or IPHONE's ?

Shall we push them ?

Naturally the kids in the end of a school day, they prefer to REST and go to social networks on their devices...

Pushy parents are not good, but what is the way?

Thank you for your kind answers.

Regards

 

[Hangman]

What is stopping you from taking away their devices?

 

[ChaelAZ]

Been struggling with this for years. Have a very, very athletic son with very low ambition to play sports. When he does, it's high quality, but he won't put in extra time or effort. Every coach from baseball to now tennis has told him he has potential for scholarship, and he still does, but he could be one who has solid potential. Just won't do more than average work to develop though. I have had to resolve myself to pushing a bit, but not so much he stops. And it's ultimately his choice.

 

[jcgatennismom]

Been struggling with this for years. Have a very, very athletic son with very low ambition to play sports. When he does, it's high quality, but he won't put in extra time or effort. Every coach from baseball to now tennis has told him he has potential for scholarship, and he still does, but he could be one who has solid potential. Just won't do more than average work to develop though. I have had to resolve myself to pushing a bit, but not so much he stops. And it's ultimately his choice.

Both tennis and baseball are nonrevenue sports with partial scholarships. If he does not love it, don't push it. For most tennis parents, any scholarship a US male gets is a fraction of the amount spent on training. If he does not want to put in the work now, will he want to spend 32+ hours on athletic related activities a week (2015 NCAA survey of D1 athletes min of 32 hrs a week to 42/wk (football)-baseball was 40) plus schoolwork and social life in college? Even for players who love tennis with a passion, it can be a struggle to balance social life, tennis, and academics. If he is talented but not motivated, maybe he should instead play club tennis or intramural sports for a fraternity. If he does not have the work ethic, the coach will have him sitting on the bench. Heart and hard work beats lazy talent most days. Being a student athlete is 2 fulltime jobs. My son is a D1 freshman who is making it work and who got a great aid package between athletics and merit, but he as a 5 star chose to play midmajor to have balance and more aid $. The Power or ranked schools offer US 5 stars 5-20%; in most cases players get more merit so focus as much or more on grades than athletics. We know top 100 players on tennis teams who will play 5 or 6 getting no athletic scholarship, only merit. Also coaches are not looking for potential; they are looking for guys ready to play, not ones they need to develop. The Power schools bring in some guys who reached ATP 500 to play for a year or two; if a player is a US freshmen, he/she better be ready to bring it from day one. Paid coaches will often tell parents their kids have potential-it keeps them employed. Results are objective.

As far as the devices, you could shut off data. However, they will be on their own in college, so they need to learn how to manage their screen time now.

 

[ChaelAZ]

Both tennis and baseball are nonrevenue sports with partial scholarships. If he does not love it, don't push it.

Great post, and thanks.

Luckily my son can qualify for academic scholarships, which is also looks good for tennis recruiting. Two of my son's teammates from last year got 1/2 ride scholarships for tennis so he does have some opportunities there. And I don't want to make him off as lazy. He's been in some pretty intense tennis academies, where they live on property and are up at 5:30a to workout and do tennis all day. He thrives in those environments and enjoyed it, but I doubt he could do it year round. For last summer he told me he didn't want to play tennis at all so he could just hang with friends. We gave him that time and he was good to his word jumping back in on his first day back to school. So he does participate, and he does help lead in classes and on his high school team, but he isn't that kid chomping at the bit to get on court.

And he is a VERY social kid (maybe a bit like his Dad ), which is a huge part of being in sports for him. He was actually able to graduate high school early if he just took a few extra classes, but he wanted to have light schedules the last few years so he could do the high school tennis team. He picked up some work as well and seems to do well balancing it all. So yeah, while probably not of interest for him to even want to be a D1 college player, I think he'll choose some way to be involved with sports and college. Maybe it is the club team and such as you mentioned.

Thanks again.

 

[Nacho]

Hi my friends,

on today's world, where kids have all the conditions and stuff,

how shall parents push their kids to play sports (tennis or other) ?

What can a parent tell them to remove them from the IPAD's or IPHONE's ?

Shall we push them ?

Naturally the kids in the end of a school day, they prefer to REST and go to social networks on their devices...

Pushy parents are not good, but what is the way?

Thank you for your kind answers.

Regards

Pushing implies forcing, and you shouldn't do this at all. Especially for tennis, which requires an intricate relationship with the sport though loss and victory.

Not sure what age you are talking about here. I would allow them to initially do many sports, and encourage all of them until they find one that they really enjoy. If its tennis, awesome! Its a great sport to learn and very social, with lifelong partnerships and an ability to teach sportsmanship, confidence, and commitment unlike any other sport.

As far as the IPADS/IPHONES, (and just because you asked, not judging here) if your off of them and have them put away your children will do the same. If not, thats your responsibility to enforce the standards.

Back to sport, if there is a true inclination of interest from your child in tennis, or another sport, share in the interest and help them realize/understand the effects of success and failure. In other words, don't beat them up if they have a bad match or day. Clap and cry with them. Make sure you understand the sport, be able to participate in it with them. I have seen parents just throw their child out there and not participate at all or try to understand what they are doing. If you sit on the sidelines and loosely have interest, they will feed on this and do the same, but also step far enough away you aren't just hanging over them on the court. its a balance you have to figure out. Help them to play a variety of matches so they win some and gain confidence. Tennis love is all about confidence, and a desire to overcome a defeat. If you are more upset or excited about your child's play then they are, they will only be playing for you. Just like anything in life you are there to encourage, train, and coach them. Sports are not a place for discipline.

So, no magic words to say to your child for them to have that ah ha moment, but rather like all things an life takes participation and commitment on your part. With almost all successful athletes you find several factors, but never was there a "pushing" success story.

 

[jcgatennismom]

Great post, and thanks.

......Two of my son's teammates from last year got 1/2 ride scholarships for tennis so he does have some opportunities there..... He's been in some pretty intense tennis academies, where they live on property and are up at 5:30a to workout and do tennis all day. He thrives in those environments and enjoyed it, but I doubt he could do it year round.... but he isn't that kid chomping at the bit to get on court.... So yeah, while probably not of interest for him to even want to be a D1 college player, I think he'll choose some way to be involved with sports and college. Maybe it is the club team and such as you mentioned.

Thanks again.

Couple comments on the above. That's great that your son's teammates got half rides-were those at Power or ranked schools or at midmajors? I have heard that for midmajors but not for Power teams unless kid was blue chip. I assume you are from AZ; in your state the recently restarted ASU is all or almost all high level internationals with pro experience.

I think it is possible for juniors to overtrain and that experience can rob the joy from tennis-maybe that happened with your son and his intense training. I dont think a player has to put in that many hours year round to play college tennis. In our tennis strong region, many players have reached 4 star to blue chip rankings attending local academies (not boarding), and many of the 4-5 stars went to public schools and played high school tennis. Our state had 3 seniors on the 2017 southern USTA national team (not team tennis, but Nat level 1) that beat Florida and Texas and had a close match in the finals with Southern Cal. All 3 seniors went to public school and played high school tennis, training 10-15 hrs a week (not 20-30hrs), taking 4 courses on campus, and 2 online. Unfortunately most of the younger guys in our state are either virtually schooled or attending private 3 day half day school programs. I think players will enjoy tennis more if they dont have to sacrifice all the normal teen social activities. Sounds like your son is well rounded-social, leader, etc.

Some players fall back in love with tennis in college. I have listened to several podcasts and read an article about Jeff Schorsch who played for Valparaiso and is in ATP 1000 after 6 months of play. He stated that junior tennis was like a job, but the team experience brought back his enjoyment of the game, and he had incredible success coming from an unknown midmajor school at dubs at national indoors and NCAAs and now in singles on the circuit.

Some schools do have tryouts. Maybe your son is more in the club mode now, but if he enjoys the club team experience, ups his game to full potential, he could possible earn a varsity spot in future years. I have heard of two girls who were pulled from club teams to play for a ranked team, and recently I heard about a top 40 men's team holding tryouts before spring season.

 

[ChaelAZ]

Couple comments on the above. That's great that your son's teammates got half rides-were those at Power or ranked schools or at midmajors? I have heard that for midmajors but not for Power teams unless kid was blue chip. I assume you are from AZ; in your state the recently restarted ASU is all or almost all high level internationals with pro experience.

Not high noted colleges for his teammates, but they are making the most of what they got. ASU jumped back in with both feet and recruits only the highest level players, so that isn't on my son's (or most of the players we know) radar. My son's current coach is the head coach for Grand Canyon so we get to see a lot of what is out there for level and how the recruiting works. Top 8 are all international. I work at a local 2 year college, so there is also plenty of opportunity there as well. Our end game as parents is for him to find the educational program he is interested in, match that to schools he might get a scholarship with (either tennis or academics), and enjoy the full experience. Tennis has been more about character, work ethic, and learning about achievement, so it will serve him well in all aspects of life. And that is kinda where I jumped in the thread because I want him to realize he *could* achieve more, and understand where he doesn't put in the extra effort he is limiting his potential. I think though, tennis will be something he goes in and out of like I have with sports through my life.

Thanks again for all the info!

 

[frugal]

Been struggling with this for years. Have a very, very athletic son with very low ambition to play sports. When he does, it's high quality, but he won't put in extra time or effort. Every coach from baseball to now tennis has told him he has potential for scholarship, and he still does, but he could be one who has solid potential. Just won't do more than average work to develop though. I have had to resolve myself to pushing a bit, but not so much he stops. And it's ultimately his choice.

Hi

exactly the same!

How old is he?

What strategies you applied to push him to work harder on sports?

Regards

 

[frugal]

.

 

[frugal]

Pushing implies forcing, and you shouldn't do this at all. Especially for tennis, which requires an intricate relationship with the sport though loss and victory.

Not sure what age you are talking about here. I would allow them to initially do many sports, and encourage all of them until they find one that they really enjoy. If its tennis, awesome! Its a great sport to learn and very social, with lifelong partnerships and an ability to teach sportsmanship, confidence, and commitment unlike any other sport.

As far as the IPADS/IPHONES, (and just because you asked, not judging here) if your off of them and have them put away your children will do the same. If not, thats your responsibility to enforce the standards.

Back to sport, if there is a true inclination of interest from your child in tennis, or another sport, share in the interest and help them realize/understand the effects of success and failure. In other words, don't beat them up if they have a bad match or day. Clap and cry with them. Make sure you understand the sport, be able to participate in it with them. I have seen parents just throw their child out there and not participate at all or try to understand what they are doing. If you sit on the sidelines and loosely have interest, they will feed on this and do the same, but also step far enough away you aren't just hanging over them on the court. its a balance you have to figure out. Help them to play a variety of matches so they win some and gain confidence. Tennis love is all about confidence, and a desire to overcome a defeat. If you are more upset or excited about your child's play then they are, they will only be playing for you. Just like anything in life you are there to encourage, train, and coach them. Sports are not a place for discipline.

So, no magic words to say to your child for them to have that ah ha moment, but rather like all things an life takes participation and commitment on your part. With almost all successful athletes you find several factors, but never was there a "pushing" success story.

Good post!

hi

Agassi was pushed. Many other players also were pushed mainly by fathers...

I do it carefully.

My daughter is now 12, she studies a lot and almost have no time to practice, so she doesn't have confidence to play tournaments.

Also competition is very difficult to her. She has affraid to lose a game against a "weaker" player ...

She tried many other sports already. She jumped from one to another, but tennis is the best for GIRLS.

Tell me more please.

Regards

 

[jcgatennismom]

Good post!

hi

Agassi was pushed. Many other players also were pushed mainly by fathers...

I do it carefully.

My daughter is now 12, she studies a lot and almost have no time to practice, so she doesn't have confidence to play tournaments.

Also competition is very difficult to her. She has affraid to lose a game against a "weaker" player ...

She tried many other sports already. She jumped from one to another, but tennis is the best for GIRLS.

Tell me more please.

Regards

But what is the best for HER? Volleyball, basketball, and gymnastics are also NCAA headcount sports for girls. Some kids' personalities are more suitable for team sports, and some for individual sports. If she is afraid of competition, maybe team sports are better for her where she assists other players or shares the load. While most tennis players who play D1 college probably started developing their tennis skills by 10 or at latest 12, she does not necessarily have to choose one sport at 12. Also it is OK to lose in the 12s and 14s. There are kids who were top 20 in the nation in the 10s or 12s who are not even playing as seniors or who are barely 4 stars. There are also players who were only 2 stars at 11 or 12 who reach top 50 in the nation as seniors. 16s and 18s is when results matter. If she likes tennis but not competing, have her work on developing a really strong foundation for now and arrange matchplay with slightly high level players for her to challenge herself and develop in a less threatening atmosphere than tournaments. Some players are really bothered by cheating that happens some in junior tennis; most other sports have referees/umpires on court/field, etc the whole time. Has she ever played USTA league team tennis? She could play dubs on a league team and maybe gradually get to used to competition. If she studies a lot and has little time for practice, tennis may not be the sport for her. While I think many players overtrain, most players need to train or practice at least 8-10 hours a week to be ready to play tournaments.

You cant push someone to do something they dont enjoy. I wished my son read more when he was younger. I would try to encourage him to read, suggest books, etc but he wasn't interested. Later he had to study a lot harder to get the SAT verbal scores he needed for merit; kids who read more had a lot easier time making higher scores. With your daughter, why is she studying so much at 12 that she does not have time for other activities? If school is hard, maybe adding sports too is too much pressure. If she is studying hard because she is a 7th grader taking a high school level course because she is great in that area, that is different, but maybe her choice would be to focus on that area of strength instead of sports.

You can introduce your daughter to different sports, provide training, and take her to competitions, but you have to give her space after losses, be empathetic, not critical, let her coach do the coaching, and be OK with it if she just doesnt want to compete. If she keeps up her skills, later when she is a little older and more self confident she can return to competition.

 

[ChaelAZ]

Hi

exactly the same!

How old is he?

What strategies you applied to push him to work harder on sports?

My son just turned 17, and as mentioned above I don't push too much. Mostly I schedule his lessons and make sure he is there. Many times he'll give some excuse to why he doesn't want to, or can't go, but I just don't respond and I take him. Once he is there and on court, he turns it on and is engaged, so a lot of it is keeping him around the sport and not letting him be away too long. The summer break is different in I think the weeks off really keep him interested and not burned out. You just have to figure out the formula of time and prodding that works. One of the girls that is in his program is out there all day, almost every single day and her mother tells me she is always asking to go up for lessons and classes early to practice before. She is a year younger than my son and is already playing Pro Circuit events in the US and was overseas last year for ITF tournaments. Again, while my son has said he wants to be as good as her, we've discussed how his work ethic and level doesn't align with what it takes to be at that level. If my son wants to accept that, then he reaps what he sows. Best I can do is just try to setup some situations he continues to push and improve the best he can.

I will say, the best for him has been extended camps. So if there is a large group and good level play that is 3 days or a week, he thrives more there than he does going to weekly classes at times. He has been to Newcombes in Texas and I can't say enough about their program. Compared to other academies it is very affordable and immersive for all levels of players. We have friends who have had their kids attend other places, and while good, if you weren't the top players you didn't get as much personalized and direct instruction.

Basically, I am not that overbearing parent, but I make sure he understand that his effort, and his effort alone is what will drive his outcomes and achievements. I don't let him cop out or not set higher goals, but we are very frank and realistic about how we go about working to help him accomplish them.

All the best.

EDIT to add, I started him in lessons a 7 years old, but he only did classes for about 8 months then was doing baseball. He was a higher level travel club player, but right when he turned 13 he said he didn't want to do it anymore. It was tough because we actually created the club team with 3 other families (you basically create a non-profit business to do it, and had sunk so much time and funds into it. But we talked a lot about it, and he mentioned he wanted to go back to tennis, so he has only been playing seriously for about 3 1/2 years now. That alone has been a hurdle since most the kids he plays against and with have had that longer and more intensive tennis lineage.

 

[Nacho]

Good post!

hi

Agassi was pushed. Many other players also were pushed mainly by fathers...

I do it carefully.

My daughter is now 12, she studies a lot and almost have no time to practice, so she doesn't have confidence to play tournaments.

Also competition is very difficult to her. She has affraid to lose a game against a "weaker" player ...

She tried many other sports already. She jumped from one to another, but tennis is the best for GIRLS.

Tell me more please.

Regards

Agassi is an interesting case, in his book he states that he actually hated tennis at those ages, and struggled. He also equates his later abuses with some of the forcefulness of this time in his life, and the pressures associated with it. Very interpretive, but interesting. I have found there are not many success stories from pushing, but rather ones from support. I can tell you from my own experience as a Jr. player, that I had the most success when I felt supported by my parents, which was in the 10-12 range. But the minute it became an investment for them it turned ugly, and became over pushing which caused me to put too much pressure on myself and not enjoy the sport as much in the 14-16 range. But the time I was 18 I was back on track, but well behind kids I was ahead of at one point. Its interesting to reflect back on it....

12 is still young. The confidence will come with some victories. Victories will breed competitiveness. And when there is a loss, an ability to self reflect and drive for the next match should be cultivated which is where I think the parent comes in; rather than an "I stink/suck" mentality, which befalls many Jr's (and happened to me quite frankly). Keep in mind some children naturally are able to handle this, some learn to, and others just don't want to. Tennis is an individual sport, so your daughter may be more inclined to participate in something more team orientated. Or, if you think it is something that can be learned find a way to get her on a tennis team to start, so there is some comradeship and support from her peers. Lots of Jr. teams out there.

There are some really good podcasts: check out the UR tennis network, parenting aces, and Tennisrecruting.net which all have good articles and references from people closely related to the subject (we are all more or less peanut gallery on here). I am sure some other suggestions exist, but those are ones I think are worth starting with.

 

[RobS]

There's something about sports that causes people to lose perspective. That's not a criticism or an insult, just an observation based my my own self reflection and what I see from other parents. I have been a parent that told my kids to work harder, be tougher and want it more. I've broken down practices and games on car rides home. Basically, I was imposing a vision on my kids and starting to take the fun out of their sports. Too many kids are not having fun participating and competing in sports. It's easy to see when you start to look for it. Sports should be fun. When the kids like what they are doing, they don't need to be pushed. The best thing you can do as a parent is to encourage, support and enjoy.

That's not to say just let your kids sit on the couch. Every season, we require that our kids choose an extracurricular activity. It can be sports, music, theater, whatever, it's just not going to be sitting in front of the TV. We let them make the choice and make them commit to making every practice, game and giving 100%. We will push a little but within the context of what they choose to pursue. My kids happen to choose sports and while they play some sports year round, they enjoy playing multiple sports. I have been surprised by some of their choices and have enjoyed watching them become passionate about things that I would have not anticipated.

 

[frugal]

.

 

[frugal]

Agassi is an interesting case, in his book he states that he actually hated tennis at those ages, and struggled. He also equates his later abuses with some of the forcefulness of this time in his life, and the pressures associated with it. Very interpretive, but interesting. I have found there are not many success stories from pushing, but rather ones from support. I can tell you from my own experience as a Jr. player, that I had the most success when I felt supported by my parents, which was in the 10-12 range. But the minute it became an investment for them it turned ugly, and became over pushing which caused me to put too much pressure on myself and not enjoy the sport as much in the 14-16 range. But the time I was 18 I was back on track, but well behind kids I was ahead of at one point. Its interesting to reflect back on it....

12 is still young. The confidence will come with some victories. Victories will breed competitiveness. And when there is a loss, an ability to self reflect and drive for the next match should be cultivated which is where I think the parent comes in; rather than an "I stink/suck" mentality, which befalls many Jr's (and happened to me quite frankly). Keep in mind some children naturally are able to handle this, some learn to, and others just don't want to. Tennis is an individual sport, so your daughter may be more inclined to participate in something more team orientated. Or, if you think it is something that can be learned find a way to get her on a tennis team to start, so there is some comradeship and support from her peers. Lots of Jr. teams out there.

There are some really good podcasts: check out the UR tennis network, parenting aces, and Tennisrecruting.net which all have good articles and references from people closely related to the subject (we are all more or less peanut gallery on here). I am sure some other suggestions exist, but those are ones I think are worth starting with.

Hi!

Each case is one case.

All kids are different.

Each one has differen background and mindset.

One important thing for me to retain from you: victories will breed competitivensess.

 

[frugal]

.

 

[frugal]

But what is the best for HER? Volleyball, basketball, and gymnastics are also NCAA headcount sports for girls. Some kids' personalities are more suitable for team sports, and some for individual sports. If she is afraid of competition, maybe team sports are better for her where she assists other players or shares the load. While most tennis players who play D1 college probably started developing their tennis skills by 10 or at latest 12, she does not necessarily have to choose one sport at 12. Also it is OK to lose in the 12s and 14s. There are kids who were top 20 in the nation in the 10s or 12s who are not even playing as seniors or who are barely 4 stars. There are also players who were only 2 stars at 11 or 12 who reach top 50 in the nation as seniors. 16s and 18s is when results matter. If she likes tennis but not competing, have her work on developing a really strong foundation for now and arrange matchplay with slightly high level players for her to challenge herself and develop in a less threatening atmosphere than tournaments. Some players are really bothered by cheating that happens some in junior tennis; most other sports have referees/umpires on court/field, etc the whole time. Has she ever played USTA league team tennis? She could play dubs on a league team and maybe gradually get to used to competition. If she studies a lot and has little time for practice, tennis may not be the sport for her. While I think many players overtrain, most players need to train or practice at least 8-10 hours a week to be ready to play tournaments.

You cant push someone to do something they dont enjoy. I wished my son read more when he was younger. I would try to encourage him to read, suggest books, etc but he wasn't interested. Later he had to study a lot harder to get the SAT verbal scores he needed for merit; kids who read more had a lot easier time making higher scores. With your daughter, why is she studying so much at 12 that she does not have time for other activities? If school is hard, maybe adding sports too is too much pressure. If she is studying hard because she is a 7th grader taking a high school level course because she is great in that area, that is different, but maybe her choice would be to focus on that area of strength instead of sports.

You can introduce your daughter to different sports, provide training, and take her to competitions, but you have to give her space after losses, be empathetic, not critical, let her coach do the coaching, and be OK with it if she just doesnt want to compete. If she keeps up her skills, later when she is a little older and more self confident she can return to competition.

Hello!

I am in Europe

She tried many sports and still plays many at school.

Here sports are not very popular as in USA.

I know, I hear tons of podcasts and read a lot and I try to not be a pushy parent, although I advise her to play.

I will try to give her a easy tournament so she gains confidence.

She has a lot of fear to lose, that she doesn't want to go. But it is a fear from is mind. I am not guilty.

She has other fears like thieves.

Regards!

 

[frugal]

My son just turned 17, and as mentioned above I don't push too much. Mostly I schedule his lessons and make sure he is there. Many times he'll give some excuse to why he doesn't want to, or can't go, but I just don't respond and I take him. Once he is there and on court, he turns it on and is engaged, so a lot of it is keeping him around the sport and not letting him be away too long. The summer break is different in I think the weeks off really keep him interested and not burned out. You just have to figure out the formula of time and prodding that works. One of the girls that is in his program is out there all day, almost every single day and her mother tells me she is always asking to go up for lessons and classes early to practice before. She is a year younger than my son and is already playing Pro Circuit events in the US and was overseas last year for ITF tournaments. Again, while my son has said he wants to be as good as her, we've discussed how his work ethic and level doesn't align with what it takes to be at that level. If my son wants to accept that, then he reaps what he sows. Best I can do is just try to setup some situations he continues to push and improve the best he can.

I will say, the best for him has been extended camps. So if there is a large group and good level play that is 3 days or a week, he thrives more there than he does going to weekly classes at times. He has been to Newcombes in Texas and I can't say enough about their program. Compared to other academies it is very affordable and immersive for all levels of players. We have friends who have had their kids attend other places, and while good, if you weren't the top players you didn't get as much personalized and direct instruction.

Basically, I am not that overbearing parent, but I make sure he understand that his effort, and his effort alone is what will drive his outcomes and achievements. I don't let him cop out or not set higher goals, but we are very frank and realistic about how we go about working to help him accomplish them.

All the best.

EDIT to add, I started him in lessons a 7 years old, but he only did classes for about 8 months then was doing baseball. He was a higher level travel club player, but right when he turned 13 he said he didn't want to do it anymore. It was tough because we actually created the club team with 3 other families (you basically create a non-profit business to do it, and had sunk so much time and funds into it. But we talked a lot about it, and he mentioned he wanted to go back to tennis, so he has only been playing seriously for about 3 1/2 years now. That alone has been a hurdle since most the kids he plays against and with have had that longer and more intensive tennis lineage.

Hi!

You all aim the tennis schollarship.

As I understand university is almost free if you are a good player.

The ITF ranking is important to enter on it?

Regards

 

[frugal]

There's something about sports that causes people to lose perspective. That's not a criticism or an insult, just an observation based my my own self reflection and what I see from other parents. I have been a parent that told my kids to work harder, be tougher and want it more. I've broken down practices and games on car rides home. Basically, I was imposing a vision on my kids and starting to take the fun out of their sports. Too many kids are not having fun participating and competing in sports. It's easy to see when you start to look for it. Sports should be fun. When the kids like what they are doing, they don't need to be pushed. The best thing you can do as a parent is to encourage, support and enjoy.

That's not to say just let your kids sit on the couch. Every season, we require that our kids choose an extracurricular activity. It can be sports, music, theater, whatever, it's just not going to be sitting in front of the TV. We let them make the choice and make them commit to making every practice, game and giving 100%. We will push a little but within the context of what they choose to pursue. My kids happen to choose sports and while they play some sports year round, they enjoy playing multiple sports. I have been surprised by some of their choices and have enjoyed watching them become passionate about things that I would have not anticipated.

Hi,

how do you keep them motivated to give 100%?

Tks

 

[RobS]

Hi,

how do you keep them motivated to give 100%?

Tks

Easier said than done but we just try to set expectations and create habits by constantly stressing that they try their best with everything.....school, sports, helping around the house, etc. We try to do it in a positive way, letting them know that they are smart, talented but the only way to reach their potential is to give it their all. We also try and help them set goals. Not everyone can be the best, get straight A's, win all of the time. Setting realistic goals can help kids keep things in perspective, keep them from getting discouraged and offer motivation. Maybe their not one of the top players on a school team. Rather than set the goal as playing #1, set a realistic goal of making the starting singles line up.

 

[frugal]

Easier said than done but we just try to set expectations and create habits by constantly stressing that they try their best with everything.....school, sports, helping around the house, etc. We try to do it in a positive way, letting them know that they are smart, talented but the only way to reach their potential is to give it their all. We also try and help them set goals. Not everyone can be the best, get straight A's, win all of the time. Setting realistic goals can help kids keep things in perspective, keep them from getting discouraged and offer motivation. Maybe their not one of the top players on a school team. Rather than set the goal as playing #1, set a realistic goal of making the starting singles line up.

Good!

Everyone can be the best in one or other thing...

 

[frugal]

Easier said than done but we just try to set expectations and create habits by constantly stressing that they try their best with everything.....school, sports, helping around the house, etc. We try to do it in a positive way, letting them know that they are smart, talented but the only way to reach their potential is to give it their all. We also try and help them set goals. Not everyone can be the best, get straight A's, win all of the time. Setting realistic goals can help kids keep things in perspective, keep them from getting discouraged and offer motivation. Maybe their not one of the top players on a school team. Rather than set the goal as playing #1, set a realistic goal of making the starting singles line up.

Good!

Everyone can be the best in one or other thing...