your picture...

voldemort

Rookie
Nah, down in orlando. Ive played for a very long time and used to be a decent. Won prize money, played #1 in college etc.
Damn awesome! I was actually invited to compete in a qualifier to possibly win a spot to compete in a USTA Special Olympics unified doubles tournament there next month. Didn’t have a partner though so couldn’t do it.

Ah well. Bummer. Another one off the list lol.
 
C

Chadalina

Guest
Damn awesome! I was actually invited to compete in a qualifier to possibly win a spot to compete in a USTA Special Olympics unified doubles tournament there next month. Didn’t have a partner though so couldn’t do it.

Ah well. Bummer. Another one off the list lol.
Maybe next year. A nice young lady where i play is tearing it up in the special olympics. Really good player and super nice, just really shy

https://www.cnn.com/2017/05/12/health/turning-points-brittany-tagliareni/index.html
 

Zara

Legend
Fair. I see. Thank you for your honesty.

@Zara If you can stand to read one novel here and respond I promise to leave you alone until next weekend after tonight (and if I go back on that you can cut me out completely)

I cling onto people that fascinate me. It is as you said almost a possessiveness type thing. You and Ghost are two such people. I understand that it makes you uncomfortable, it would anybody, I get it. It’s an addiction that gets fiendish at times.

I know you and others here have a life outside of this and that’s good, I’m glad for you guys. This forum is a bigger deal for me than most because it represents basically all my socialization. In real life I am a loner and find superficial conversations with others mostly draining.

I’m trying to rectify that in part, retaking up golf, trying to get a job etc. In fact that’s what triggered my mom’s rant at me last night was the fact there’s no way we can do that (see about the job) now because of her health. She was also later more calmly informing me that because of my lack of self sufficiency there’s no way I’d be able to do that anyways and I’d just lose my disability and have to live without a net. It’s hard to hear such things but they are true. With no other outlet I turn here.


I don’t really care strongly about many people. I’m not someone that goes around trying to be friends with everyone. But when I do get connected with someone I get infatuated with them, almost obsessed. I say this again not to make you uncomfortable but just stating how I feel about you. The best part of almost every day for me the last year is when you or Ghost post to me, it makes my heart sing for a few minutes and gives me a respite from my miserable self.

I say none of this to excuse by behavior which I know is bad. This forum is like a drug for me, and clinging to it is like an addiction I can’t kick.

My parents don’t know what I’ve been doing on here the last year and a half, if they knew even 5% of it (telling personal stuff, acting the way I often have) they’d kill me. I do this at great personal risk, knowing I could get caught anytime. And I feel guilty about that, basically lying to them and living a double life, but at the same time I think of it weren’t for my doing this I might be dead already or have done much worse things in real life.

I’m living my life very scared now, of what the future holds. I don’t know if in 5 years (whether my mom is around or not) I’ll be somewhat adjusted or if I’ll be in a pit. My nerves feel like they are top of my skin all the time with anxiety & guilt. That guy I was telling you about recently is what I’m terrified of becoming. He’s on a path to self destruction with drinking, partying, drugs, diabetes, no one to really care about him, etc. I feel like that could so easily end up being me.

I do understand. My ex girlfriend acted a lot like me when were together. She drove me and my parents bat crap crazy hanging onto me all the time and acting needy, demanding that I talk to her 2+hours a day to fight about our relationship status. She was starved for affection, she had no mom and a dad taking care of her that worked most of the time, and being autistic herself had no life or friends.

It drove us crazy, and for other reasons there’s no way the relationship could work. But I still hated with everything in me that I had to cut her off. And I understand why afterwards she sent me about 20 hysterical voicemails and begged me to go back, even trying to cause trouble for me the rest of that year. It’s easy to judge someone like that, but I understand, that’s how I feel here. I mean I wouldn’t try to cause you trouble but you know what I mean hopefully.

I love you as a great friend and I admit it hurts to hear the truth, but I want you to know I understand. I’ve been on both sides of this kind of situation. Peace be with you.

PS What I said about FFW was indeed uncalled for, I got caught up in group bullying which being who I am should know better.
I really didn't need to know all that because it falls under emotional blackmail. It's not as sincere because you are not demanding the same attention from others so it's very easy for Doctor and Hydro to come here and advise me to be nice to you, but at the end of the day, I am completely overwhelmed by the amount of tagging and all the other messages you leave for me. And I know you are here waiting for me to show up and as soon as I do, you start to follow me around. I can't even breathe.

You probably don't realize this but this is not fun for me to say any of this and it ends up making me look bad because you have your way (victim mentality) while I am more straightforward but it doesn't take away the fact that you are burdening ME with all your problems.

I've had a few people on other forums who troubled me so much in the past same way that I just can't go through this anymore. I want to feel free. I want to be able to post any song I like or any movie I like or any post for that matter without anyone thinking that they are meant for them. They are not - I am simply going by whatever I like. There are no hidden messages there.

Obsessions are just that and they don't stop until one of them stop being. You understand it now but later it will be a different story, and I don't think it will stop I'm afraid. I just know how it goes. And when it does it just gets so ugly because of rejections.
 

voldemort

Rookie
I really didn't need to know all that because it falls under emotional blackmail. It's not as sincere because you are not demanding the same attention from others so it's very easy for Doctor and Hydro to come here and advise me to be nice to you, but at the end of the day, I am completely overwhelmed by the amount of tagging and all the other messages you leave for me. And I know you are here waiting for me to show up and as soon as I do, you start to follow me around. I can't even breathe.

You probably don't realize this but this is not fun for me to say any of this and it ends up making me look bad because you have your way (victim mentality) while I am more straightforward but it doesn't take away the fact that you are burdening ME with all your problems.

I've had a few people on other forums who troubled me so much in the past same way that I just can't go through this anymore. I want to feel free. I want to be able to post any song I like or any movie I like or any post for that matter without anyone thinking that they are meant for them. They are not - I am simply going by whatever I like. There are no hidden messages there.

Obsessions are just that and they don't stop until one of them stop being. You understand it now but later it will be a different story, and I don't think it will stop I'm afraid. I just know how it goes. And when it does it just gets so ugly because of rejections.
No problem.

I won’t make anymore promises because I think we’d both know how that’d end up. All I can say is I’ll try, until I fail again.. then I’ll try some more.

My problem is that I get too easily hurt and yes I have a tendency to take everything personally. I do it in real life too, I fret all the time over whether someone’s is upset with me, regardless of whether there’s good reason for it or not.

We’re at an impasse. From your end if I want your company I’ll have to try to keep my behavior within reason. From my end if you want my company (which although hopefully you do still consider me a friend is probably not as important to you for a few reasons) you’ll have to be prepared to accept a certain amount of obsessiveness. At the end of the day I have to take you for what you are or not, a human being with their own life and experience, and you have to either take me for what I am or not.

I’ll just leave it there and get back to music on the other thread.
 
D

Deleted member 742196

Guest
Listen, I don't know how to tell you this politely but I don't even have the faintest interest in becoming anyone's special friend here. That is not my intention. That's why I keep my Conversations closed because I want to remain casual and would like to come and go as I feel and when I have time. I do enjoy some company better than the others but it's still friendly and casual.

But anyway, lately, that has been compromised because you've been tagging me a lot lately especially since the day you initiated the connection with me on the Schizophrenia thread. And you have bombarded me with all sorts of sad personal stories and there were times I tried to help you too, but lately, I feel I can't come and go with as much ease because you are always waiting for me and leaving me all these recommendations that I really don't have the time for it. Did I ask for any of this? And you did this to me first time too. And you are too quick to play the victim role too when things don't go your way.

You do realize that I only have so much patience and eventually going to run out of it. Doctor, Hydro, Azure or whathisname all seem to be really nice friendly people and seem to care for you. Why don't you just redirect your attention to them where you'd get the favour back? You can clearly see that I am really not interested in any of this and I never asked for it. Hope you understand the gist of it and let me be.
I really didn't need to know all that because it falls under emotional blackmail. It's not as sincere because you are not demanding the same attention from others so it's very easy for Doctor and Hydro to come here and advise me to be nice to you, but at the end of the day, I am completely overwhelmed by the amount of tagging and all the other messages you leave for me. And I know you are here waiting for me to show up and as soon as I do, you start to follow me around. I can't even breathe.

You probably don't realize this but this is not fun for me to say any of this and it ends up making me look bad because you have your way (victim mentality) while I am more straightforward but it doesn't take away the fact that you are burdening ME with all your problems.

I've had a few people on other forums who troubled me so much in the past same way that I just can't go through this anymore. I want to feel free. I want to be able to post any song I like or any movie I like or any post for that matter without anyone thinking that they are meant for them. They are not - I am simply going by whatever I like. There are no hidden messages there.

Obsessions are just that and they don't stop until one of them stop being. You understand it now but later it will be a different story, and I don't think it will stop I'm afraid. I just know how it goes. And when it does it just gets so ugly because of rejections.
No problem.

I won’t make anymore promises because I think we’d both know how that’d end up. All I can say is I’ll try, until I fail again.. then I’ll try some more.

My problem is that I get too easily hurt and yes I have a tendency to take everything personally. I do it in real life too, I fret all the time over whether someone’s is upset with me, regardless of whether there’s good reason for it or not.

We’re at an impasse. From your end if I want your company I’ll have to try to keep my behavior within reason. From my end if you want my company (which although hopefully you do still consider me a friend is probably not as important to you for a few reasons) you’ll have to be prepared to accept a certain amount of obsessiveness. At the end of the day I have to take you for what you are or not, a human being with their own life and experience, and you have to either take me for what I am or not.

I’ll just leave it there and get back to music on the other thread.
Hate to giggle at this guys, I know you’re both being genuine - the highlighted bits above reminded me of that 80’s movie “The Breakfast Club”.

This forum and the interactions people seem to have in here seem a lot like being stuck in detention on a Saturday.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
D

Deleted member 716271

Guest
Hate to giggle at this guys, I know you’re both being genuine - the highlighted bits above reminded me of that 80’s movie “The Breakfast Club”.

This forum and the interactions people seem to have in here are a lot like all of us stuck in detention on a Sunday.

Which one are you?
 
D

Deleted member 742196

Guest
Trolling the students, would suit you
Not growing up in the US I didn’t have an immediate way of relating to any of the stereotypes, it was Carl I most understood.

He seemed the perfect foil to the authoritarian principle for unruly teenagers trapped in an everyday high school.

Someone I might become friends with.

 
D

Deleted member 742196

Guest
I was kidding lol. I like the nerd character the most.
Brian is cool but Brian was a hypocrite just like everybody else. From all of teenagers the freest and most honest seemed Allison...until she too fell foul of her character at the end.

Good choice!
 
D

Deleted member 716271

Guest
PS What I said about FFW was indeed uncalled for, I got caught up in group bullying which being who I am should know better.
No it was not. Guys like you are always so quick to apologize if some girl (even if she is faceless and nameless) show attention or threaten to withold attention. Stick to your guns like a man bruh.
 
D

Deleted member 742196

Guest
Awwwww :love: such a sweet thing to say

Now I HAVE to watch the movie
What I also should have said was listening is a bit of an art, like talking. To listen you don’t just let someone speak, every adult eventually learns to do that.

The best listeners make you feel understood, they want to understand you. And in the things they say you know and feel you have been heard.

You have a certain way about you that is soothing and invites deep conversation.
 

Azure

Legend
What I also should have said was listening is a bit of an art, like talking. To listen you don’t just let someone speak, every adult eventually learns to do that.

The best listeners make you feel understood, they want to understand you. And in the things they say you know and feel you have been heard.

You have a certain way about you that is soothing and invites deep conversation.
Thanks Hydro. You make me sound like an old grandma lolol. I do agree though that the ones we best connect with are the ones that ask questions and lend a ear. Appreciate the thoughts :)
 
D

Deleted member 742196

Guest
Thats a pefect way of putting it.
She saw it as grandmotherly (perhaps it might have felt embarrassing to hear me say it), I really do think it’s more Gordon Lachance.

In Chris’s Milk Story Gordon listens and says exactly the perfect sequence of things for Chris’s character to reveal something extremely intimate and deeply vulnerable about himself.

Few people have that gift to be as attentive and present in a conversation.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Fedforever

Hall of Fame
What I also should have said was listening is a bit of an art, like talking. To listen you don’t just let someone speak, every adult eventually learns to do that.

The best listeners make you feel understood, they want to understand you. And in the things they say you know and feel you have been heard.

You have a certain way about you that is soothing and invites deep conversation.
Never forget:

Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.

George Orwell - 1984
 
D

Deleted member 742196

Guest
I thought I'd cracked plenty of jokes. :cry:

In future I will telegraph any amusing little quips with a :D for the avoidance of doubt.
Like the grandmother thingy. He has no free will so he needs a lot of hints to understand :D
Why am I suddenly seeing this many yellow faces? I get suspicious when they turn up in clusters. They pop in and out from sentences with a sort of contemptuous flourish, which is ridiculous. A sentence either says something or it doesn't, depending on whether the author writes it or not. There is no way a sentence can possibly effect the transition from one state to the other with a contemptuous flourish.

Something is up and I don't know what that something is. What I have learned from experience is its usually not pleasant for me to find out.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
D

Deleted member 742196

Guest
He's needs to keep up his strength for his encounters with Tennis Hands.
@Hydrocella conserve your energy we say...
Clay season will soon be upon us FedFans, this year I've decided to convince myself Tennis Hands is a Komodo dragon lizard. It is an animal about which I know very little. What little I do know is hard to like.

They are man-eaters. That is not so bad in itself. Lions and tigers are man-eaters, and though I may be intensely wary and treat them with respectful fear, I nevertheless have an instinctive admiration there. I don’t actually want to be eaten by them, but I don’t resent the idea. The reason, probably, is that I am a mammal and so are they. There’s a kind of species prejudice at work: a lion is one of us but a lizard is not. Neither, for that matter, is a fish, which probably explains the unholy terror of sharks.

Komodo lizards are also large. Some are over ten feet long and stand about 3 feet high, which I can’t help but feel is entirely the wrong size for a lizard to be, particularly if it’s a man-eater and I'm next to it. Though they are man-eaters, they don’t eat man very often. More generally their diet consists of goats, pigs, deer, and such like, but they will only kill if they can’t find something dead already, because they are, at heart, scavengers. They like their meat bad and smelly.

I don’t like my meat like that and tend to be leery of things that do. I'm definitely leery of these lizards.

2019 Roland Garros I'm going to be leery of Tennis Hands.

He’s not going to catch me off guard this time.

 
Last edited by a moderator:

Azure

Legend
Clay season will soon be upon us FedFans, this year I've decided to convince myself Tennis Hands is Komodo dragon lizard. It is an animal about which I know very little. What little I do know is hard to like.

They are man-eaters. That is not so bad in itself. Lions and tigers are man-eaters, and though I may be intensely wary and treat them with respectful fear, I nevertheless have an instinctive admiration there. I don’t actually want to be eaten by them, but I don’t resent the idea. The reason, probably, is that I am a mammal and so are they. There’s a kind of species prejudice at work: a lion is one of us but a lizard is not. Neither, for that matter, is a fish, which probably explains the unholy terror of sharks.

Komodo lizards are also large. Some are over ten feet long and stand about 3 feet high, which I can’t help but feel is entirely the wrong size for a lizard to be, particularly if it’s a man-eater and I'm next to it. Though they are man-eaters, they don’t eat man very often. More generally their diet consists of goats, pigs, deer, and such like, but they will only kill if they can’t find something dead already, because they are, at heart, scavengers. They like their meat bad and smelly.

I don’t like my meat like that and tend to be leery of things that do. I'm definitely leery of these lizards.

2019 Roland Garros I'm going to be leery of Tennis Hands.

He not going to catch me off guard this time.

Oh dear hahaha

Btw, it's called a Komodo dragon not a Komodo lizard. If you think of it as a large dragon, you wouldn't be so 'icky' about it now.
 

Fedforever

Hall of Fame
Clay season will soon be upon us FedFans, this year I've decided to convince myself Tennis Hands is Komodo dragon lizard. It is an animal about which I know very little. What little I do know is hard to like.

They are man-eaters. That is not so bad in itself. Lions and tigers are man-eaters, and though I may be intensely wary and treat them with respectful fear, I nevertheless have an instinctive admiration there. I don’t actually want to be eaten by them, but I don’t resent the idea. The reason, probably, is that I am a mammal and so are they. There’s a kind of species prejudice at work: a lion is one of us but a lizard is not. Neither, for that matter, is a fish, which probably explains the unholy terror of sharks.

Komodo lizards are also large. Some are over ten feet long and stand about 3 feet high, which I can’t help but feel is entirely the wrong size for a lizard to be, particularly if it’s a man-eater and I'm next to it. Though they are man-eaters, they don’t eat man very often. More generally their diet consists of goats, pigs, deer, and such like, but they will only kill if they can’t find something dead already, because they are, at heart, scavengers. They like their meat bad and smelly.

I don’t like my meat like that and tend to be leery of things that do. I'm definitely leery of these lizards.

2019 Roland Garros I'm going to be leery of Tennis Hands.

He not going to catch me off guard this time.

Thing with Tennis Hands - he does know how to make a reasoned argument.

I remember a debate with him and @125downthemiddle where beneath a fair amount of mutual mudslinging they were both making really good cases and I ended up being convinced by both of them! So I don't think I'd take him on in an argument.
 

Azure

Legend
Thing with Tennis Hands - he does know how to make a reasoned argument.

I remember a debate with him and @123downthemiddle where beneath a fair amount of mutual mudslinging they were both making really good cases and I ended up being convinced by both of them! So I don't think I'd take him on in an argument.
It's just that Hydro believes himself to be a puppy and tennis hands to be a Komodo dragon. No guesses as to who is going to win that duel!

PS - I get bored with long arguments. Hydro misunderstands me when he says I listen. I listen selectively.
 
D

Deleted member 742196

Guest
Why don't you like lizards? Lizards are part of households here. I mean they are unwelcome of course, but really they are just that - non cuddly reptiles, which I would put alongside crocodiles, snakes etc.
No quarrel with lizards, or dragons. I just need a useful image in my mind for whenever he gnaws on one of my limbs. It would be pleasantly surprising if he didn't, I might even wonder if things were okay between us, or if I had done something wrong by protesting too much.

Thing with Tennis Hands - he does know how to make a reasoned argument.

I remember a debate with him and @125downthemiddle where beneath a fair amount of mutual mudslinging they were both making really good cases and I ended up being convinced by both of them! So I don't think I'd take him on in an argument.
It isn't reasoned arguments that get in the way. Azure is closer to it, we're more like two different species. He has some specific ideas of what and how fans of Federer should be like, I'm often falling foul of those ideas.

I also have some ideas on how humans can communicate with each other without assault rifles, but like the police the more I talk about such things the greater trouble I seem to land myself in.
 

Azure

Legend
No quarrel with lizards, or dragons. I just need a useful image in my mind for whenever he gnaws on one of my limbs. It would be pleasantly surprising if he didn't, I might even wonder if things were okay between us, or if I had done something wrong by protesting too much.



It isn't reasoned arguments that get in the way. Azure is closer to it, we're more like two different species. He has some specific ideas of what and how fans of Federer should be like, I'm often falling foul of those ideas.

I also have some different ideas on how humans communicate with each other without assault rifles, but like the police the more I talk about such things the greater trouble I seem to land myself in.
So the strategy I apply in such cases is I allow the lizard to stay on the ceiling and I do my stuff. I make sure I keep all my foodstuffs closed though.
 
Top