If you want good picture quality, and the ability to take pictures in a variety of situations (low light, fast action like a tennis match, etc.) a DSLR is the
only way to go.
I noticed you say ultra zoom cameras are 'bulky', so I will assume you won't be going this route.
First, look through the cameras in this test:
http://www.dpreview.com/reviews/Q109superzoomgroup/ and see if any of the good ones are small enough to meet your needs.
If that doesn't work, look through this group:
http://www.dpreview.com/reviews/Q408enthusiastgroup/.
I would recommend the Panasonic TZ5. Good telephoto, HD video, etc. The SX110 IS is also a good choice. You will make major sacrifices, but expecting a long telephoto in a small body without sacrifices would be insane or uninformed. You either get a big camera with less sacrifices, or you get a small camera that makes plenty.
Personally, I own a Panasonic LX3, and it's utterly fantastic. The only problem is, it is limited to 60mm telephoto. Perfectly fine for my uses, but it sounds like this might be an issue for you. The wide angle, aspect ratio switch, f2.0-2.8 lens and size for a camera with an angle and fast glass like this are unparalleled in a digital camera. The Canon G10 is comparable, and better in some categories, but size wise it is far more unwieldy.
I would use dpreview.com, amazon.com user ratings (taking into account the fact that some users are wrong), and your own thoughts when handling the cameras in a store. Panasonic and Canon are two names that cover the very best cameras for what you are looking for. Good luck!