Sounds like good advice to the OP.
Your argument regarding arguing about tattoos is plausible and I follow it, though I think it assumes a little too much. I just think "I like how it looks/It makes me happy" is the flip side of "It makes you look like an idiot." Though I think there is some truth to the latter, I don't think that has to be the end of the conversation. I'm willing to look further into the matter and possibly learn something about a person, or society for that matter.
I think I'm safe in saying that everybody judges people, to varying degrees, on appearances. I think it's understandable, if not always spot on, if someone judges a tattooed/pierced/altered individual as attention seeking, or having poor judgement, or uncomfortable in their own skin, or having difficulty/unwillingness to adjust to society, or superficial, or a combination of any of those things. Of course I realize judging someone by their tattoos can be, in itself, superficial. Such a thing wouldn't affect my actions if someone needed or asked for my help. I reserve my full measure of an individual until I hear them out and witness their actions.
It's fair to say I assume too much, but on the flipside, you also assume that people are immediately interested to talk about their inked work with others just because they have it visible/on their skin. To me, that's not an assumption i'm comfortable making. I'm not sure I follow your reasoning on "it makes me happy" is an analog to "it makes you look like an idiot." Care to explain?
While I agree there CAN be some idiocy associated with getting/having a tattoo, I'm sure you don't mean that there is some component of idiocy involved with all who have one. Quite frankly, the way I see it is that the relative amount of time we spend alive and free willed and free spirited on the earth is extremely, extremely short. Even if you live to be 80, one generally won't even make a blip on the radar of human achievement or time. Concerning ones-self too much with something as relatively unimportant as whether or not someone else decided to get a tattoo is silly in my eyes. Whether or not I agree or disagree with the practice is besides the point. I DO agree 100% that there are many dummies out in the world, and some of those dummies get tattoos, and some of those dummies even lend a bad name to the practice. I think the act of getting a tattoo aside from the stigma and bias and stereotypes is pretty sterile and not worth getting riled up over. [Note: I'm not implying you are getting riled up, I'm referring to the general outburst(s) of disapproval]
Your mention of getting to know/understand a person better, though, stuck with me. That can definitely be a positive. However, if a tattoo is personal, I'm not comfortable with some stranger just walking up and asking about it. For instance: Let's say that an individual was beaten as a child, and is covered in scars. After dealing with the emotional trauma via therapy, or what have you, they decide they are willing to move on, forgive, and grow. They decide to get (a) tattoo(s) to visually cover up the constant reminders of their painful past, and venture out into their world, invigorated by this new sense of triumph and self improvement.
Most common question/comment by strangers: "Cool tattoo/I like your tattoo, what does it mean? Does it represent something?"
Man. If I were that dude, I wouldn't know what to say. I'd probably say something like: "Ah, it doesn't mean anything in particular. I just like the way it looks" (or something). It's easier that way
If it were me, and the tattoo was deeply meaningful, I think it would feel personally cheap to describe the tattoo to someone else in a 30 second conversation. For instance, if I had a loved one pass away, and I got a memorial tattoo, I would hate for the "idea" of my tattoo to boil down to: "I got this because X died and they are important to me." (Again, all of the above is if the tattoo is meaningful. Not all are.)
Back to the discussion, though. I fully agree that people judge. It's a very safe statement. Things wouldn't get done if people were to sit around and listen to every angle before making any decisions. It's naive to think someone can be purely non-judgmental. We all have biases and make assumptions. Our worlds would fall apart otherwise, IMO. Appearances don't escape this mantra. I don't blame anyone for assuming anything about a tattooed individual, but as long as we can agree that people get tattoos for different reasons, and the personal meaning is hugely varied, as well as the ability/capacity to concisely and/or accurately explain it, then I don't have much else to contribute to the discussion. Also, you make it sound like "adjusting" to society is a
good thing
While I disagree with sticking out just 'cuz, the majority/average/accepted image/person is really not something I feel any need to be. I think it's safe to say we're talking in different ranges of the idea, but I don't think different needs to be bad. [Most oustanding individuals did just that. They stood out. Many famous inventors/artists/etc are/were eccentric, and some were even downright mentally ill!]
In any event, that's why I posed the question about finding out about a parent's hidden tattoo. When your image/understanding of someone is so deep, something like this fades away in terms of things that actually matter to you. However, it's nearly impossible to forge a relationship with a stranger in a capacity that is even remotely comparable. This is why I think jumping to conclusions is hurtful. Indeed, you may miss a chance on a good thing, but ink is a barrier whether we like to admit it or not. In any event, I appreciate hearing your side of the story
Before this thread I felt like the stigma was a thing of the past. So many people have tattoo's now that I didn't think it was so taboo or anything anymore. Guess I was pretty wrong in that regard! I'm okay with it though as the people that would jump to an immediate conclusion and not give me a chance at a first impression because of a tattoo aren't really the people I want to be around anyways. (With the obvious exception of interviewers and bosses).
Thanks for the advice at the end too... I'll have to talk to the artist more about the tennis thing.
Come on, now, that's naive. You have to ignore and/or forgive those who jump to conclusions, though. People need to have some sort of idea of how to live their lives, otherwise they'd be flailing around in fear. I'd focus more on being the person you've predetermined you'll be, and don't let it phase you. I don't want to start the liberal vs. conservative (not politically, but just in general) debate, but the bias on either side is based on irrational fear, either way. Liberals are scared they'll miss out on the what-if/unexplored, and conservatives are scared of the what-if/unfamiliar/unexplored. Obviously an overly simplified world view (which doesn't accurately represent my viewpoint, either...). Be prepared to be judged, just be willing to give a second chance if you are hoping to get one in return. Judging those who judge and immediately shutting them out (saying they "aren't people I'd really like to be around anyways") is no better. With THAT said, I think it's important not to waste your short time on earth by surrounding yourself with negativity (and if you read closely, I'm not suggesting that), but to not dismiss others because they don't see eye to eye with you. I personally think discussing things with someone who disagrees with you (provided you are able to do so without resulting to the inevitable spitting match) is a very valuable thing!
What's with tattooed tennis players? Why does everyone under 35 now have a tattoo?
Count me with those who think the only people who should have tattoos are those in prison or the military, and maybe outlaw bikers. Computer nerds should not wear tattoos.
Why is it justified to have a tattoo if you're current/former military? I can see why you chose outlaw bikers and prison if you are already decidedly against it, though. Did a military person "earn" it? What is the criterion? Simply being "tough?"
