I can agree with that. I have thought of other places to put it. Just none really feel right to me. The forearm does. Maybe just because I'm vain and I want to be able to see it while I'm writing code who knows. I just know its the only place I've come up with that feels right to me.
Are you studying/a grad of CS? If so, a tattoo won't really hinder you in industry
Dd, I think you are inadvertently putting words in my mouth. I never said people with visible ink are immediately interested to talk about their tattoos. I simply observed that many are willing and eager to talk about their tattoos with others who have visible tattoos or others that appear impressed or show an admiring interest.
"It makes me happy"/"It makes you look like an idiot" are two sides of the same coin as far as brief statements are concerned. They are both dead-end statements and neither brings much insight to the discussion.
Does "It makes you look bad" sound better than "It makes you look like an idiot"? My mind's eye saw idiots I know with tattoos when I typed that. Perhaps it was too strong. A few years ago I was having a similar discussion with my friend of many years who revealed to me, after I had spent five minutes railing against "idiots who get tattoos", that he had the Chinese character for prosperity, or harmony, or some other b.s. tattooed on his upper back. He's not Chinese. He doesn't speak Chinese. He never expressed interest in Chinese culture. He's of German/English ancestry. He couldn't be any WASP-ier. I asked him why he did that. "I just thought, you know...", a slight shrug and stammering something. Didn't matter. I think I know why he got it. Do I care for him less now? Of course not.
Regarding the brevity of life and the time consumed "concerning" ourselves with someone else's tattoos, I don't look at it from that perspective. It's simply just another judgement made, lumped in with the other judgments I, and everyone else, make several times a day, every day. I think I already expressed that I reserve deeper judgments with different criteria.
I think your example of tattoos as cover for physical scarring, is an extreme minority situation. Besides, I rarely, rarely ask anyone about their specific tattoos. Without the prospect of gaining some cultural or meaningful personal insight, I really don't want to hear some one's personal, boring explanation.
Agreed - but there is currency in adjusting to society. It depends on what one is looking for from an individual. You are right. There is great range within the idea. Probably too great to get into here.
And this is my motivation for carrying on the discussion with you. I have enjoyed it. It's not about proving to myself that I'm "right".
Hey, not my intention to put words in anyone's mouth
I may have overstated it, but I was alluding to your observation there. I think it's human nature to be excited to talk about things you're excited about, so no surprise there.
While "it makes me happy" might be a dead end statement, I don't see it as the opposite end of the spectrum by any means. One is a very aggressively negative statement, the other says a lot without saying too much. Of course, a discussion could stem from this statement, but not usually from "It makes you look like an idiot."
As far as insight, I think it's actually very insightful (albeit deceptively simple) to someone who is already disproving (and whose mind can't be changed). IMO, I see a lot more people who are looking to pick a verbal/intellectual fight rather than people who are interested and 100% supportive. Even people who can hold a cordial conversation may have negative bias, and I would prefer not to offer any reason to give someone any reason to feel any more holier than thou than is necessary. I'm sure I'm in the minority, though. I see similarities to a parent of a "problem child." Maybe they understand their child more so than a teacher would. While a teacher sees someone who is bad to their roots, and only serving to disrupt and cause trouble, a parent may understand the underlying problem (maybe not enough parental support/involvement, etc). Maybe a terrible example, hopefully you can see where I'm going with that.
"It makes you look bad" is better, sure, but to me, it really depends on how it's said, and who says it. If it's someone who is close to me who I know to only have my "best interest" at heart, I'd take the opinion into consideration, but in most cases, I'd end up acknowledging a difference of opinion.
Chinese characters... ah, how cliche. However, did you ever consider that in his mind/"heart" that it does carry some deep symbolic meaning of SOMETHING that can't really be easily put into words? Maybe it really was a stupid decision, but maybe it's just not easy to articulate. What if it does act as a day-to-day reminder to keep an even keel, and improves the quality of his life? Even if it's silly on the outside, it might be enough of an impact to make a small, but meaningful difference in someone's life. Now, this isn't to say that people who are too young, too drunk, too "in love" or too naive don't get tattoos as a spur of the moment, ill-thought out plan. That's often the case, but just because it was a "mistake" doesn't mean it has to be a negative impact on someone else's life, IMHO.
I guess I just like to give the benefit of the doubt, maybe it's a character flaw of mine.
Yes, I acknowledge and respect that you make deeper judgments with different criteria. The only issue I have with the quick judgments is the opportunities that may be lost by it. You might not have any personal problems that interfere with your approach towards others, but I'd say it's pretty evident that people often do. Heck, even I have negative bias towards certain tattoos, even though I support the idea. How much this interferes with interpersonal relationships is pretty minimal, though.
The scarring example is
definitely an extreme example, but that's what I'm trying to illustrate. I understand your conversations are to gain insight, but I guess I just see too many instances where these conversations really go nowhere. Your lack of interest in someone's "personal, boring explanation" is really exactly what I'm talking about. If you're incapable or unwilling of understanding something from the perspective of the wearer, then
. I think we've reached this point where we're speaking really abstractly, and I don't want to come across as a jerk, so to err on the safe side, I just come back to the conclusion that it's easiest to say that "it makes me happy" is really [in the bigger picture] a sufficient explanation, unless the discussion really becomes an interesting one (it doesn't have to be a closed door in the face of an inquirer). After all, aren't most of the interesting discussions you have a long winded version of the same?
Agree, adjusting to society has obvious benefits. We were just looking at it from a different perspective, I think I had a good idea of what you meant.
Agreed with your final statement, I don't feel any need to change your mind. On the spectrum of opinions, I'd say we're pretty close, I appear to lean more to one side, and you the other : ) In any event, we may have actually exhausted most of the topics, surprisingly...
