Funny tennis moments you'll never forget.

My best one.

I once played a Flex League match against a guy who from the start, basically got mad at everything that went against him. Lots of yelling, swearing, self loathing, calling himself a g0#damn sissy (loudly)for trying a touch volley instead of hammering a put away, that type of guy. He was asked on more than one occasion to watch him mouth by others nearby us.

He is winning the match at this point, I'm in a hole, 1 set down and losing the 2nd. We had a particularly long and wild point. I'm getting ready to serve after catching a breather and I look over at him walking around wildly appearing to look for something. I ask him what's up and he says "I lost my hat". Indeed he had. It was the middle of summer and the sun was tricky, so I could see that he'd want to find it. He tells me he threw it off in the middle of the point (I didn't see this). I go grab a drink and join him in looking for it. It doesn't appear to be anywhere. I tell him I can't see it anywhere and go back to try and get things started again.

I look back and he's gone out the door behind the fence, looking around. I figure he saw it out there, fair enough. He looks around for a while, nothing. Comes back in. He's clearly livid at this point, swearing etc. He goes to his bag saying, he'll wear his shades. Opens up his shades case, they're not there. More swearing and self loathing ensues. Starts looking around the bags, I suspect he wants to look in my bag, but doesn't. It's getting a bit comical at this point, but after some more searching, he says OK, just play.

I proceed to win the next 4 games and take the set. While we're having a drink at the end of the set he's really really pi$$ed. I'm not saying a word.

He walks back to the side he lost his hat on, I walk back to serve. I turn around and see him jumping up at the fence, whacking it hard with his racquet. It takes me a moment to process, but I finally figure out that his hat was at the top of the fence, stuck.

After much effort and some climbing, he gets it down. How either of us didn't see the hat (and I really didn't see it), is a total mystery. Though from his actions and words, he made it clear that he doubted that I didn't see it and thought I just didn't tell him for a bit of gamesmanship.

Needless to say, he did not recovery mentally from it all and I ended up wining the match. Which I really enjoyed.

I was playing doubles with friends. Both my partner and I were at the net and the opponents put a lob out of reach over my partner's head. He jumped to take a desperate swipe at it. Seeing that he was not going to be able to reach it I called for it and ran it down behind him. I then proceeded to hit a 'tweener shot (back to the net). I was looking to hit a short shot straight ahead just over the net because neither opponent was at that location.

I hit the shot just as I planned only to turn around and discover that I hit my partner square in the back. Even tho' I called the shot that went over his head, he did not switch sides, as expected, after his own failed attempt. When asked why he did not switch sides when I played the ball on his side, he weakly replied that I did not call "switch". I informed him that the call should not need to made -- it should be a given that he should switch sides in that situation.

I once hit a high top spin lob in doubles which bounced over the opponents head, He ran back to get a hold of it, and crashed into the back fence, and started bleeding in several places.

Not too funny I admit.

Then there was the time when I was playing a singles match against a woman and she returned from the changeover to serve. She had no balls in her hands and no "bulges" down there that I could see. I was about to remind her to fetch the balls (I assumed she had left them near her bag), when she quickly pulled one out and served. I leave it to you to visualize it.

More embarrassing than funny. Friendly mixed doubles match. My partner was serving to the other lady, and let one rip just after she tossed the ball to serve. She had to catch the toss. It was obviously not a grunt. No one said a word but the male opponent and myself smiled at each other across the net

tennisdad65 said:

More embarrassing than funny. Friendly mixed doubles match. My partner was serving to the other lady, and let one rip just after she tossed the ball to serve. She had to catch the toss. It was obviously not a grunt. No one said a word but the male opponent and myself smiled at each other across the net

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Impressive that you didn't laugh. Most impressive.

tennisdad65 said:

More embarrassing than funny. Friendly mixed doubles match. My partner was serving to the other lady, and let one rip just after she tossed the ball to serve. She had to catch the toss. It was obviously not a grunt. No one said a word but the male opponent and myself smiled at each other across the net

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You sir are a true gentleman!! I probably would have been laughing to hard to play the point.

tennisdad65 said:

More embarrassing than funny. Friendly mixed doubles match. My partner was serving to the other lady, and let one rip just after she tossed the ball to serve. She had to catch the toss. It was obviously not a grunt. No one said a word but the male opponent and myself smiled at each other across the net

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That must have been extremely awkward...

About 30 years ago, I was practicing with my girlfriend. It as a warm spring day and we were the only ones on a set of 4 courts that were about 200 yards from the pool. It was the middle of the day and a week say, so their were only a few people at the pool. The courts also were on the side of a hill and elevated above the pool. My girlfriend asked me if she thought it would be OK for her to take off her shirt and play in her bra because she wanted to get a sun tan. She was concerned someone would see her. Of course, I quickly reassured her that no would would be able to tell that it was not a sports bra from the pool or the clubhouse which was also fairly far away. We practiced the next hour with her in a pink sequinced bra. I was distracted and did not play well but could not have cared less. Spring, youth and a beautiful young girl playing tennis in a sexy bra - what more could I want?

^^^^^^Where do you meet such women?

sureshs said:

^^^^^^Where do you meet such women?

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I meet this one on college campus - she was in school - I was practicing tennis.

It was a very hot summers day about 20 years ago. I was 12 and my brother was 10. We played tennis every day and we were fiercely competitive. He had never beaten me at tennis, but was always the better athlete in every other sport we played. This particular day over the course of a couple hours and some extremely heated tempers he finally defeated me. My pride was hurt losing to my younger brother in the sport I considered myself best at and he took the opportunity to rub it in all the way home (a mile walk). He was being quite a ******* about it. In any event, I wasn't known for controlling my temper when I was a kid. About four blocks from our house I ran up behind him and clubbed him in the back of the knee with my racquet. I told him it was because he was running his mouth. He wailed loudly and couldn't walk. My racquet actually broke in half. Immediately feeling horrible, I lifted him onto my shoulders and carried him the rest of the way home apologizing. He helped me tape my racquet back together so that I wouldn't get into trouble with our dad. When asked why I had tape on the sides of the racquet by my parents we told them it was a new shock absorption technique.

1980 said:

It was a very hot summers day about 20 years ago. I was 12 and my brother was 10. We played tennis every day and we were fiercely competitive. He had never beaten me at tennis, but was always the better athlete in every other sport we played. This particular day over the course of a couple hours and some extremely heated tempers he finally defeated me. My pride was hurt losing to my younger brother in the sport I considered myself best at and he took the opportunity to rub it in all the way home (a mile walk). He was being quite a ******* about it. In any event, I wasn't known for controlling my temper when I was a kid. About four blocks from our house I ran up behind him and clubbed him in the back of the knee with my racquet. I told him it was because he was running his mouth. He wailed loudly and couldn't walk. My racquet actually broke in half. Immediately feeling horrible, I lifted him onto my shoulders and carried him the rest of the way home apologizing. He helped me tape my racquet back together so that I wouldn't get into trouble with our dad. When asked why I had tape on the sides of the racquet by my parents we told them it was a new shock absorption technique.

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Hahaha! nice!

Sounds like a day with the Harbaugh brothers.

1980 said:

It was a very hot summers day about 20 years ago. I was 12 and my brother was 10. We played tennis every day and we were fiercely competitive. He had never beaten me at tennis, but was always the better athlete in every other sport we played. This particular day over the course of a couple hours and some extremely heated tempers he finally defeated me. My pride was hurt losing to my younger brother in the sport I considered myself best at and he took the opportunity to rub it in all the way home (a mile walk). He was being quite a ******* about it. In any event, I wasn't known for controlling my temper when I was a kid. About four blocks from our house I ran up behind him and clubbed him in the back of the knee with my racquet. I told him it was because he was running his mouth. He wailed loudly and couldn't walk. My racquet actually broke in half. Immediately feeling horrible, I lifted him onto my shoulders and carried him the rest of the way home apologizing. He helped me tape my racquet back together so that I wouldn't get into trouble with our dad. When asked why I had tape on the sides of the racquet by my parents we told them it was a new shock absorption technique.

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A long time ago, I was playing tennis with some friends at some downtown courts in a large urban area. Just outside the fence and hidden in the trees, apparently, was a homeless camp. I was not playing well at all and screamed out "I might as well be playing tennis with a d**** (a rubber sex toy)". Next thing you know, something flew over the fence from the homeless camp and landed in the middle of the court by my service line. The thing uncoiled, we went to look at it and it turned out to be a huge d****. There was a loud laugh over the fence and someone from the camp yelled out "You better be careful about what you ask for". We left immediately.

texacali said:

A long time ago, I was playing tennis with some friends at some downtown courts in a large urban area. Just outside the fence and hidden in the trees, apparently, was a homeless camp. I was not playing well at all and screamed out "I might as well be playing tennis with a d**** (a rubber sex toy)". Next thing you know, something flew over the fence from the homeless camp and landed in the middle of the court by my service line. The thing uncoiled, we went to look at it and it turned out to be a huge d****. There was a loud laugh over the fence and someone from the camp yelled out "You better be careful about what you ask for". We left immediately.

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lol, that is fantastic

Some 30 years ago, I was sunbathing on a warm Spring day at a swimming pool where there was a decent view of 4 tennis courts that were elevated some 200 yards from the pool. There were only a few of us at the pool since it was the middle of the day on a week day. There was a hot young girl on the courts playing tennis with some dork. To my disbelief, and my delight, the girl decided to remove her shirt after a while and play in her pink sequined bra. That had to be the best hour that I spent at that pool. Ahh, good memories!

About 5 years ago I was playing doubles at my usual spot in the middle of our biggest city. I am a big guy by most accounts (6-3, 250 pounds) but my partner that day was huge ... think what Shaquille Oneal would look like if he was only 6-6.

Any who, we are playing when a group of 10-12 kids come walking by. One of the kids starts running his mouth at us ... "You guys s***, I can play better than you, S*** my D*** .... etc

We ignore the kids and play on. Just then a rock lands on the court, slides comes to rest gently against my foot. Before I realize what is happening my 6-6 friend drops his racket and starts running after the kids. I quickly decide I should follow, because if he does manage to catch a kid he will need me to pull him back.

We chase these kids for 3 blocks without ever having a chance to catch them.

1 hour later a city cop rolls up to the court to question us because they had gotten reports that we were chasing city kids through the streets.

SystemicAnomaly said:

Some 30 years ago, I was sunbathing on a warm Spring day at a swimming pool where there was a decent view of 4 tennis courts that were elevated some 200 yards from the pool. There were only a few of us at the pool since it was the middle of the day on a week day. There was a hot young girl on the courts playing tennis with some dork. To my disbelief, and my delight, the girl decided to remove her shirt after a while and play in her pink sequined bra. That had to be the best hour that I spent at that pool. Ahh, good memories!

:twisted:​

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haha! 8/10

I was playing tennis in downtown Washington DC a couple of years ago when a fellow ran through the court during a point. Annoyed, I called a let and started getting ready to serve. Then, another person ran through the court court, so I now I am really annoyed and need to collect myself to finish the match. After the match, I am griping to my opponent about how people have no manners, and my opponents (dropped jawed!) asked if I noticed that the second person was a uniformed policeman chasing after the first person. I guess I was too focused on the match to even notice.

Good comeback!!!

SystemicAnomaly said:

Some 30 years ago, I was sunbathing on a warm Spring day at a swimming pool where there was a decent view of 4 tennis courts that were elevated some 200 yards from the pool. There were only a few of us at the pool since it was the middle of the day on a week day. There was a hot young girl on the courts playing tennis with some dork. To my disbelief, and my delight, the girl decided to remove her shirt after a while and play in her pink sequined bra. That had to be the best hour that I spent at that pool. Ahh, good memories!

:twisted:​

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A little embarrassing but here goes.... Two years ago I was practicing against the tennis wall beside our local courts. I had my new Head tennis racquet & wanted to try it out.

It was really hot & my hands were getting really sweaty & the handle was getting really slippery from all of my sweat. After hitting a hard looping forehand
topspin shot I realized that my racquet was no longer in my hands.... Instead of looking up to watch/track it my first thought was to look around to see if anyone saw this embarrassing blunder.

I didn't catch anyone watching me accidentally throw my new tennis racquet over the fence but I did get to look over my shoulder at the massive rows of thick pine trees & bushes which were its fateful landing spot.

I spent the next three hours of my 41 year old life climbing massive pine trees & fighting dense heavy bushes (along with flies, wasps, bees & squirrels) only to find nothing but birds nests & old tennis balls. People down below kept asking me what I was doing up there.... Covered in pine tree sap & leaves I would calmly tell them "looking for a tennis racquet". They must have thought I was crazy.

If you ever let go of your requet on an outdoor court don't worry about what others think.... Follow your Raquet, I only had to learn this life lesson once lol. I am ever so hopeful that a nice family of birds is enjoying the soft gut strings as a nice foundation for their birds nest... Yes, I never did find it ;-(

I loved that Stick :-(

EDIT: Yes, I lost my new tennis raquet in the trees/bushes if that wasn't clear in the post ;-( {goes off to cry}

Tennisguy3000 said:

A little embarrassing but here goes.... Two years ago I was practicing against the tennis wall beside our local courts. I had my new Head tennis racquet & wanted to try it out.

It was really hot & my hands were getting really sweaty & the handle was getting really slippery from all of my sweat. After hitting a hard looping forehand
topspin shot I realized that my racquet was no longer in my hands.... Instead of looking up to watch/track it my first thought was to look around to see if anyone saw this embarrassing blunder.

I didn't catch anyone watching me accidentally throw my new tennis racquet over the fence but I did get to look over my shoulder at the massive rows of thick pine trees & bushes which were its fateful landing spot.

I spent the next three hours of my 41 year old life climbing massive pine trees & fighting dense heavy bushes (along with flies, wasps, bees & squirrels) only to find nothing but birds nests & old tennis balls. People down below kept asking me what I was doing up there.... Covered in pine tree sap & leaves I would calmly tell them "looking for a tennis racquet". They must have thought I was crazy.

If you ever let go of your requet on an outdoor court don't worry about what others think.... Follow your Raquet, I only had to learn this life lesson once lol.

I loved that Stick :-(

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Wait, you actually lost the racquet???

Overdrive said:

Wait, you actually lost the racquet???

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Yes! ;-(

That's not funny then.
A racket was harmed in the making of the post.

My friend and I were mostly just hitting at a nearby public court. We had a bunch of kids watching us and slowly most of them left and only one remained. After a while, when we took a drinks break, the kid (about 12 years old) came over and asked if we would lent him a racquet and hit with him. My friend being the nice guy gave him his relatively new racquet to play with an I went to the other side of the net to hit with the kid while my friend watched.

The kid goes to the other side, takes a almighty swing at the first ball and missed it. So he goes back as if to pick up the ball from the fence and bolts out the door at the back with the racquet and runs away with the racquet.

I found where the kid lived and got the abused racquet back with lots of apologies from the kid's mother a few days later. He was pissed b'cos some one else playing tennis there earlier asked the kids who were skate boarding inside the courts to leave.

I get a smile and chuckle every time i think of the time i beat a guy in singles 2-1 and he peeled out of the parking lot ****ed off. Now it wasnt a bagel but he was one of those guys who thinks his **** doesnt stink/walks around with his chest out likes hes andy roddick...we all know who those guys/gals are in the league. But actually peeling out...haha.

Tennisguy3000 said:

...trees...

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When I was in my early teens there was a guy at the park we hung at from morning to dark.(had tennis courts, a basketball court, open field for football and an area we played whiffle ball in). He was a decent player - but not nearly as good as he thought he was. As he UE's mounted his blood pressure would rise, his face got redder and redder; he'd start berating himself; then ratchet it up to profanities; culminating in his racket being hurled great distances - many times it would end up in the trees. He'd have to borrow a basketball or football and try to throw or kick it up to dislodge it.

I've read some funny stuff here man. That is one of the funniest....mine is not that good but here is one.


So we are at the state my very first year of playing. We are a 3.0 team of course. 14 or 15 brothers...so we are already creating a frenzy...people wanting to know where we are playing next who have we beat etc...and we are really kicking major @$$. I'm about 34 at this time...run like a deer and a huge forehand but that's about it. Most of the guys are the same. Well we have this one older guy on the team who no one can beat. He's about 55 or 57 at the time I'm thinking. Some guy is following our team around the whole tourney calling us sandbaggers(we had no idea at the time what the hell he was talking about). We were all 4 to 6 months into tennis except 3 of us. The two guys that played singles(old man and another guy that was in his 40's at the time). and the captain who put the team together. We had about 9 singles players so we just put whoever out there in 2 singles but the old man always played 1.

So fast forward to the last day. The guy that had been talking trash played for a another team and swore he would run that old man into the ground if he ran into him. Well the last day we had wrapped up the state championship already so my captain gave him his wish. By the end of the first set...this guy was on the fence puking up everything he had eaten in the last 24 hours.lol Our guy was leaning on the fence talking to someone he use to do business with waiting to see if the guy was going to continue and we were in the stands cracking up. It was about 2 years later when I finally beat that old guy. I say old as that's what we saw him as then.lol They had to carry that guy off the court. It's just something I'll never forget.

Govnor said:

My best one.

I once played a Flex League match against a guy who from the start, basically got mad at everything that went against him. Lots of yelling, swearing, self loathing, calling himself a g0#damn sissy (loudly)for trying a touch volley instead of hammering a put away, that type of guy. He was asked on more than one occasion to watch him mouth by others nearby us.

He is winning the match at this point, I'm in a hole, 1 set down and losing the 2nd. We had a particularly long and wild point. I'm getting ready to serve after catching a breather and I look over at him walking around wildly appearing to look for something. I ask him what's up and he says "I lost my hat". Indeed he had. It was the middle of summer and the sun was tricky, so I could see that he'd want to find it. He tells me he threw it off in the middle of the point (I didn't see this). I go grab a drink and join him in looking for it. It doesn't appear to be anywhere. I tell him I can't see it anywhere and go back to try and get things started again.

I look back and he's gone out the door behind the fence, looking around. I figure he saw it out there, fair enough. He looks around for a while, nothing. Comes back in. He's clearly livid at this point, swearing etc. He goes to his bag saying, he'll wear his shades. Opens up his shades case, they're not there. More swearing and self loathing ensues. Starts looking around the bags, I suspect he wants to look in my bag, but doesn't. It's getting a bit comical at this point, but after some more searching, he says OK, just play.

I proceed to win the next 4 games and take the set. While we're having a drink at the end of the set he's really really pi$$ed. I'm not saying a word.

He walks back to the side he lost his hat on, I walk back to serve. I turn around and see him jumping up at the fence, whacking it hard with his racquet. It takes me a moment to process, but I finally figure out that his hat was at the top of the fence, stuck.

After much effort and some climbing, he gets it down. How either of us didn't see the hat (and I really didn't see it), is a total mystery. Though from his actions and words, he made it clear that he doubted that I didn't see it and thought I just didn't tell him for a bit of gamesmanship.

Needless to say, he did not recovery mentally from it all and I ended up wining the match. Which I really enjoyed.

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That reminds me of another one. I'm in Mobile playing at that huge tennis center with some 70 or 80 courts. It's probably my 3rd or 4th year. I know I was still a 3.5. So I'm very above average speed at this point....some guy hits this high towering top spin lob. Well I run all lobs down even in the next court. So this one is lobbed between our court and the court next to us. I'm running back but looking up to track the lob as fast as I can. I have a good beat on it and whhhhhham....right into the light pole full speed. I actually make contact with the ball before I hit the pole. I can't tell you today if it made it back across. When I do come to...I see about 8 people standing over me and the first thing I ask is...."Who the fck puts a light pole on the court and why in the hell did it take me 3 years to realize they were on the inside". We all laughed but I never fully recovered from that blow and we lost the match.

sureshs said:

I once hit a high top spin lob in doubles which bounced over the opponents head, He ran back to get a hold of it, and crashed into the back fence, and started bleeding in several places.

Not too funny I admit.

Then there was the time when I was playing a singles match against a woman and she returned from the changeover to serve. She had no balls in her hands and no "bulges" down there that I could see. I was about to remind her to fetch the balls (I assumed she had left them near her bag), when she quickly pulled one out and served. I leave it to you to visualize it.

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chatt_town said:

That reminds me of another one. I'm in Mobile playing at that huge tennis center with some 70 or 80 courts. It's probably my 3rd or 4th year. I know I was still a 3.5. So I'm very above average speed at this point....some guy hits this high towering top spin lob. Well I run all lobs down even in the next court. So this one is lobbed between our court and the court next to us. I'm running back but looking up to track the lob as fast as I can. I have a good beat on it and whhhhhham....right into the light pole full speed. I actually make contact with the ball before I hit the pole. I can't tell you today if it made it back across. When I do come to...I see about 8 people standing over me and the first thing I ask is...."Who the fck puts a light pole on the court and why in the hell did it take me 3 years to realize they were on the inside". We all laughed but I never fully recovered from that blow and we lost the match.

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Mobile AL?
They aren't all hard courts..... right?

This is some funny stuff! Chatt-town, the Mobile Tennis Center? I have fond memories of matches in juniors! Great stories, all of them! Great thread.

Ladies doubles, a friendly match. One of our opponents was a somewhat large woman, with thighs to match. At one point I had a sitter of a volley, and smashed it down toward her feet. The ball bounced in front of her, and the angle of flight carried it up her skirt -- and it never came out.

She stood there, lifted a leg, and the ball dropped from where it was stuck between her thighs. We pretty much peed ourselves laughing, and I think never got it back together. Just went to the bar after that.

Yes. they are all hard courts. They had a truck load of courts on one side and they just in the last 3 years or so built some new courts on the other side of the street. The lights are horrible on the old side not just because some of them are on the inside but any ball that goes up in the lights gets lost in all the other courts lights at night.

Overdrive said:

Mobile AL?
They aren't all hard courts..... right?

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Those are the new courts. The lights I ran into were across the street. It was ugly dude at the time.

borg number one said:

This is some funny stuff! Chatt-town, the Mobile Tennis Center? I have fond memories of matches in juniors! Great stories, all of them! Great thread.

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SB said:

Ladies doubles, a friendly match. One of our opponents was a somewhat large woman, with thighs to match. At one point I had a sitter of a volley, and smashed it down toward her feet. The ball bounced in front of her, and the angle of flight carried it up her skirt -- and it never came out.

She stood there, lifted a leg, and the ball dropped from where it was stuck between her thighs. We pretty much peed ourselves laughing, and I think never got it back together. Just went to the bar after that.

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Too weird! This happened yesterday but it was in men's doubles. I poached a volley back at the server and it just disappeared. He got a goofy look on his face, hopped around and out it dropped, just like a.. an egg.

chatt_town said:

Yes. they are all hard courts. They had a truck load of courts on one side and they just in the last 3 years or so built some new courts on the other side of the street. The lights are horrible on the old side not just because some of them are on the inside but any ball that goes up in the lights gets lost in all the other courts lights at night.

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What?

Are you serious? 80 hard courts?

Booo....

chatt_town said:

Yes. they are all hard courts. They had a truck load of courts on one side and they just in the last 3 years or so built some new courts on the other side of the street. The lights are horrible on the old side not just because some of them are on the inside but any ball that goes up in the lights gets lost in all the other courts lights at night.

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The old side court lights still suck fwiw. In fact almost everything about the old courts suck. Thankfully they finally resurfaced the very top most row of courts on the old side.

Back in high school the top 3 singles players got to go practice on different courts about a 10 minute drive away. The coach usually stayed with the doubles team and the assistant coach would go with the singles players. One day the assistant coach was not able to make it so she gave us the ok to head out on our own. We made a pit stop at the burrito shop cause well...We were high school kids! We get to the tennis court and all of a sudden the school van comes approaching from down the street. She decided to bring the whole team!!!! None of us threw up, but she was wondering why we looked so sluggish at practice lol.

Another is again in high school, I was asked to help with the girls Varsity team. Both squads had the same coach and she wanted me to help their #1 singles practice. One day she asked us to go for a run before practice...Instead we ended up making out for 30 minutes then going to practice...

Good times.

I don't know the exact number but I'm thinking over 80 or at least 80. The picture here shows the nicer courts. It's pretty bad over there at night as well but it's real bad on the old courts across the street.

Overdrive said:

What?

Are you serious? 80 hard courts?

Booo....

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chatt_town said:

I don't know the exact number but I'm thinking over 80 or at least 80. The picture here shows the nicer courts. It's pretty bad over there at night as well but it's real bad on the old courts across the street.

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Does the club have any revenue at all? They need to update the courts!

chatt_town said:

Those are the new courts. The lights I ran into were across the street. It was ugly dude at the time.

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Ha ha. Yes, those are newer courts there. I played there in about 1979-1981, so the courts have changed for sure. I do remember the older courts and the lights too. Glad you were ok!

I don't know. Apparently they host a lot of sectionals there. I didn't have a problem with the courts persay. It's just the lights are horrible on the old side and it isn't much better on the new side. I honestly don't know if there is anything that you can do about the lights when you have that many courts.

Overdrive said:

Does the club have any revenue at all? They need to update the courts!

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Last week playing a group session "king of the hill" style game on har-tru courts...

Opponent hits a drop shot and I run to it....I get to it....I don't know how to slide on these courts....you can tell what happens next...

Everyone watching said the next sequence happened in slow motion, and it did feel like it.

Hit the net, but I didn't just flop over.....it was like I was bent over on the net and there was just enough momentum to carry me over, but I was upside down legs straight up in the air for a split second and it seemed like it took me another few seconds to land on the opposite side of the net. Landed on my left hip and side, but managed to scrap up my right elbow.

Stopped play for a few minutes as everyone was bent over laughing, including me.

All these years of rec tennis and that's the first time that's ever happened to me.

Playing a tournament and just broke opponents serve (40-15) when he framed it and the ball sailed high. I knew the ball was going out as it was off the court so I take off my hat and walked over to my bence for the changeover before the ball bounced. Right before I sat down the ball landed in my hat.

I gave him the point but broke him anyways next point. But still, it was a pretty facepalm moment.

Just about a month ago I was hitting a routine forehand. After impact, the racquet came around and I hit myself right in the nose. It took a huge gash out and I was bleeding everywhere. It ended up turning black and blue after the swelling went down. When I arrived home, I told my wife I got in a fight over a line call.

I lost that point as well.

Ha ha ha...

...I am not presently on a tennis court, and I am not having a great day on the job, so this thread provided some much needed Big Laughs. I'm not sure I can come up with anything to equal what you've already heard, but try these:

- Playing high school tennis in upstate New York, I win my match at #2 and go watch my buddy, who's in a life and death struggle in the 3rd set at #5. I forget where were playing, but it was somewhere out in the country where the courts needed a fence around them so you could tell them (the courts) from an adjacent cow pasture. So get this...on match point down, no less...#5 runs back to get a deep lob, slams into the fence, gets his left shoe stuck under the fence...and the clown on the other side, being no dummy, hits a drop shot winner to end the match. I know...The Code probably says replay the point, or something similar, but what did we know? We were just a bunch of high school kids, and, even though I knew it wasn't right, I LMAO.

- Similar deal, many years later I'm playing a match in a local Colorado tournament, having a bad day, and getting pasted by...you guessed it...a pusher. I'm down something like 2-6, 1-3, and I decide "Enough of this lame happy jive" and start pounding everything that comes over the net. My next serve had to be in the 120s, and I went right at the guy...who sticks his racket out, but my serve hits it so hard that the racket flies out of his hand, over the fence...and cracks in two pieces on the asphalt parking lot outside the court. Yes, I wound up losing the match, and I felt bad about the guy's racket (he claimed it was his favorite)...but not that bad.

- Back when I was teaching skiing in Breckenridge, I came down for a spring tournament in Denver. This was May, and you never know what kind of weather you're going to get in Colorado that time of the year. Lots of rain, as it turned out. I was staying up on U Hill with a DU friend of mine, and when we got up early to warm up, I put on every piece of clothing I had. Or so I thought. Mid way through the second set in my match, the sun actually comes out and I decide to remove some layers. So on the next change game, I pull off my warm-up bottoms...and there I am standing in my jock and shoes. Imagine my surprise...I could have sworn I pulled on my favorite Wilson shorts...

- Tournament at a country club in Boulder, my match is over, so I'm watching some of the other matches. I'm a public parks kind of guy, so I am not used to looking at what pass for super models and their escorts parading gracefully to and from the courts. Sure enough, on the show court, we have Mr. Wonderful and wife. He looks like he just stepped off the cover of GQ, and for her, Vogue, or something similar. So this is the 4.5 Mixed final, or something similar, and they're cheerfully belting their hapless opponents into submission...until about the 5th game of the set. Mr. Wonderful gets down 0-40 on his serve, which really irritates him, so he decides to pound the next serve at the peasants on the other side of the court.

Which he does, and it's a solid 120 serve, which unfortunately never makes it to the other side of the net...because it hits his wife right square in the ***. And she turns around and yells, and I am not making this up, "I want a divorce!" At this point, me and a couple of my public parks homies completely lost it, fell down on our backs, and started howling with laughter...so I guess you can see why I never been invited to join that country club...

I was playing a guy indoors last week who I did not know prior to the match. He had to have been on roids. He was short but just unnaturally ripped and he would burst out with these loud yells and berate himself whenever he missed a shot i.e. roid rage ha. It was quite uncomfortable to play with him.

Any way, were playing doubles with two older ladies and I lobbed him at the net. He starts running back full bore, and honestly has absolutely no chance at getting this ball. So he's running and the ball goes back to the back divider thing and he just CRASHES RIGHT THROUGH IT. It was hilarious, if it we're a brick wall, it would not have offered any more resistance to this guy pummeling through it. The two ladies just look at me in disbelief and I totally lost it.

Never seen anything like it.

Bdarb said:

I was playing a guy indoors last week who I did not know prior to the match. He had to have been on roids. He was short but just unnaturally ripped and he would burst out with these loud yells and berate himself whenever he missed a shot i.e. roid rage ha. It was quite uncomfortable to play with him.

Any way, were playing doubles with two older ladies and I lobbed him at the net. He starts running back full bore, and honestly has absolutely no chance at getting this ball. So he's running and the ball goes back to the back divider thing and he just CRASHES RIGHT THROUGH IT. It was hilarious, if it we're a brick wall, it would not have offered any more resistance to this guy pummeling through it. The two ladies just look at me in disbelief and I totally lost it.

Never seen anything like it.

Click to expand...

Sounds like a cartoon. Did he leave a hole the exact shape of his body after he crashed through it?

Playing doubles with a friend who is mild-mannered but admits he has a rage issue... so he always tries to maintain his composure to keep himself in check.

Middle of a game he loses it (angry at himself). He cusses, grabs his stuff and storms off the court.

His vehicle was parked very close to the entrance to the courts, he still had his racquet in one hand and he crushes his racquet on the front fender of his car.

The racquet is completely crumpled, he walks over to the trash can and slams the stick in the can, then drives off.

A few days later he sheepishly shows up for the next get-together. He's got a 1/2 inch deep gash in his front fender, paint is cracked.... we mildly teased him about it.... but just for a little bit.

dcdoorknob said:

Sounds like a cartoon. Did he leave a hole the exact shape of his body after he crashed through it?

Click to expand...

This is exactly what I thought of. It was the most cartoonish real life situation I have ever seen. His commentary through the entire thing made it more hilarious. It was like listening to a cartoon character rolling down a mountain, "ouch, ooh, eeh, yahoo!" hahahahhaha