Fabresque
Legend
It’s understandable when neither are playing on tour, so let me help you out. Let’s take a look at your options for who to support next!
Do you enjoy cramps? Do you forget to pack electrolytes and salts for Bo5 matches?
Do you enjoy having zero Plan B when Plan A goes wrong?
Do you like being compared to more successful versions of yourself?
If so, this fella is your cup of tea.
Do you enjoy watching some creature flailing its arms around pretending to play tennis?
Do you like standing in the literal crowd to return serves?
Do you like going from world No.1 to world no.14 in 6 months (record time)?
This octopus will gladly accept you as a fan if that’s the case.
Do you have a humiliation kink? Enjoy it when the top players destroy you every single time?
Are you a spoiled brat with no understanding of how the real world works?
Do you enjoy doing YouTube more than the thing you’ve worked your whole life to perfect?
This “professional tennis player” should be up your alley then.
Are you homophobic?
Do you scream at your mother whenever something goes wrong?
Do you disrespect everybody on tour and are already hated by the age of 20?
Babyface here is your guy.
Are you the most overhyped player of all time?
Have you accomplished virtually nothing in comparison to your peers yet still are seen as their equals?
Do you enjoy being humiliated by an octopus?
Benvenuto a Sinner.
Are you so irrelevant and useless that nobody even remembers you’re a top player?
Have you lost every single grand slam quarterfinal you’ve ever played?
Do you enjoy screaming for no reason whenever you miss one singular forehand?
This guys a good fit for you.
Do you bottle every single slam final you’ve played a part of?
Do you go into matches against top players with a “have fun” mentality instead of trying to win?
Have you done absolutely nothing notable in your career besides a few clay 250’s?
Looks like you’re heading to Norway.
Do you abuse people? SO’s, umpires?
Have you bottled the easiest slam final of all time by hitting 50mph serves?
Do you have gold chains around your neck and talk ish about all your generations rivals?
This d1ckheads got you covered.
Are you an idiot?
Are you supposedly a top player but have never won a notable tournament and have never been ranked inside the top 10?
Do you count your millions and avidly claim that basketball is a better sport than tennis?
Bert and Ernie are here for you lot.
Are you American?
Tired of Americans basically doing nothing in the sport for years and want to support someone even if they fail endlessly?
Do you get upset when someone mocks your idiotic celebrations?
The three stooges can fulfill your false hopes.
Hmmm… tough options. There is however one alternative…
Do you like winning?
Do you like it when you hoist something important above your head?
Do you enjoy being the greatest of all time in your profession?
It’s never too late to jump the ship. Greatness awaits, my friends.
Do you enjoy cramps? Do you forget to pack electrolytes and salts for Bo5 matches?
Do you enjoy having zero Plan B when Plan A goes wrong?
Do you like being compared to more successful versions of yourself?
If so, this fella is your cup of tea.

Do you enjoy watching some creature flailing its arms around pretending to play tennis?
Do you like standing in the literal crowd to return serves?
Do you like going from world No.1 to world no.14 in 6 months (record time)?
This octopus will gladly accept you as a fan if that’s the case.
Do you have a humiliation kink? Enjoy it when the top players destroy you every single time?
Are you a spoiled brat with no understanding of how the real world works?
Do you enjoy doing YouTube more than the thing you’ve worked your whole life to perfect?
This “professional tennis player” should be up your alley then.

Are you homophobic?
Do you scream at your mother whenever something goes wrong?
Do you disrespect everybody on tour and are already hated by the age of 20?
Babyface here is your guy.

Are you the most overhyped player of all time?
Have you accomplished virtually nothing in comparison to your peers yet still are seen as their equals?
Do you enjoy being humiliated by an octopus?
Benvenuto a Sinner.

Are you so irrelevant and useless that nobody even remembers you’re a top player?
Have you lost every single grand slam quarterfinal you’ve ever played?
Do you enjoy screaming for no reason whenever you miss one singular forehand?
This guys a good fit for you.

Do you bottle every single slam final you’ve played a part of?
Do you go into matches against top players with a “have fun” mentality instead of trying to win?
Have you done absolutely nothing notable in your career besides a few clay 250’s?
Looks like you’re heading to Norway.

Do you abuse people? SO’s, umpires?
Have you bottled the easiest slam final of all time by hitting 50mph serves?
Do you have gold chains around your neck and talk ish about all your generations rivals?
This d1ckheads got you covered.
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Are you an idiot?
Are you supposedly a top player but have never won a notable tournament and have never been ranked inside the top 10?
Do you count your millions and avidly claim that basketball is a better sport than tennis?
Bert and Ernie are here for you lot.

Are you American?
Tired of Americans basically doing nothing in the sport for years and want to support someone even if they fail endlessly?
Do you get upset when someone mocks your idiotic celebrations?
The three stooges can fulfill your false hopes.

Hmmm… tough options. There is however one alternative…
Do you like winning?
Do you like it when you hoist something important above your head?
Do you enjoy being the greatest of all time in your profession?
It’s never too late to jump the ship. Greatness awaits, my friends.