spaceman_spiff
Hall of Fame
So that's you in your avatar?
That's me on a good day.
Very nice!
So that's you in your avatar?
And the sharks just can’t help themselves when they smell blood in the water…:neutral:
Lol not saying I am going to do it, you have to take into account having a stable income as well as your partner having a stable income as well. Then you gotta take into account housing, food, her dad wanting to murder you...the list goes on
I study was shown that people that live together prior to marriage have a greater success than those that marry without liiving together, whether this has to do with acknowledging and accepting each others idiosyncrasies, i am not sure....
And another study shows that couples living together are more likely to divorce when they do get married, possibly from the pressures of family to get married since they are already living together.
but still that's being together for 5 years, and 2 years later married. so together for 7 years. so i mean that's not like this: i get on facebook on Christmas, a girl who is 19 posted pics of an engagement ring, her status said nothing is better than getting engaged on Christmas...her and her boyfriend have been dating for about 2 months....WTF
If I got a diamond ring everytime I got engaged / married, I'd do it once a week........sort of a cool weekend gig.
nothing wrong with getting married at an age where you are mature enough to deal with what it brings, or flexible enough to allow yourself to grow into the marriage. The problem is nowadays our emotional ages are much lower than equivalent people from the olden days, we mature much later and most 18-20 year olds are nowhere near ready to make a good go of marriage, whereas back in the day it was a different matter a 20 year old probably had already supported his family for a while and was working and earning and used to life in general.
Today they are still playing games on xbox, watching mtv and getting drunk, and that probably continues all through the 20's at least.
So nothing wrong with early marriage, but we just aint mature enough as a whole to deal with it anymore, we suck
. . . and I wonder, too, if there's a "moral culture" which encourages people to be as young and footloose and free as possible, which clashes with the obligatory ties of marriage.
Picking a spouse is a lot like picking a racquet. If you believe you made a good choice, you did! Age doesn't matter. If you think the grass will be greener elsewhere, you'll be looking for that perfect set-up for ever! You'll continue to look and look and look...........and look and look.......
Statistically, the numbers look bad for marriage in our country/culture. However, look at countries where marriages are arranged. They do much better. Having met people and talked to them about it, they just look at me and say, "That's the way it is. I love my spouse."
The point is if you are BOTH content and mature, it'll work. It's just like picking a racquet!
Forgot to add:
I am married and have been for nearly 12 years. My wife and I share many important values. We don't share a religion but we do share common financial goals, parental goals for our kids, and support for each other. We have our problems and we look and work through them. We don't agree all of the time. Life is not a Disney movie and the next marketing ploy really won't make your life better either.
Pick a racquet and make your game fit its properties.
Picking a spouse is a lot like picking a racquet.
Picking a spouse is a lot like picking a racquet.
After 20+ years of playing a POG 90, I'm switching to a Radical OS.
. . . and I wonder, too, if there's a "moral culture" which encourages people to be as young and footloose and free as possible, which clashes with the obligatory ties of marriage.
Yes, but there are things that you really ARE missing. Having children is a great boon, really widens and broadens your heart. It's hard to believe this until you become a parent, however; but they are among life's great and profound joys. Perhaps when you were a child you didn't see or were unable to appreciate that your parents had some very substantial joys in doing as they were doing.
There's grumbling any way you go. I did as you did, and wish I hadn't taken that path now. Just be attentive to consumerist efforts to keep people infantilized.
of course biologically all we are meant to do is reproduce, so opting out of that is kind of, denying the reason we evolved in the first place, not sure what I am trying to say, but its intuitive to say the least. Emotionally as the above poster said, I dont think you can truly mature and develop as a person without bringing up children and the joy and challenges that brings.