How to stop choking?

[Simon_the_furry]

I choke so hard on big points, which is part of the reason why I'm so bad at singles. My mental game is awful. I try to concentrate, but I just can't seem to get in the zone and stay there through the entire match.

How do I improve my mental game? I have no idea. It seems like I've tried everything.

 

[Dou]

you play the ball, not the score, not the opponent... this ball comes at you, doesn't make a difference it comes from a ball machine, a wall, or an opponent, you are just gonna play that ball... be the ball... the opponent doesn't exist, the score doesn't exist.... the only thing that matters is the ball.

 

[Dou]

also, what's the worst that can happen... you lose... so what... it's a meaningless match between one hack and another, who give a F.

once you accept the risk (of loss), then there is nothing to fear.... this holds true for any type of risk taking in life... once you accepts the risk, there is no fear..

the samurai goes into a battle, fully accepting the risk, of death... so they fight fearlessly.

and you are worrying about a lousy USTA match?

 

[BlueB]

It's a hard one...
Today I played a guy that I normaly beat soundly. I was quickly up to 4:0, then 5:2 serving for the set... and my serve deserted me (choke?). After a while I found myself down 5:6 and 15:40! I still managed not to loose the serve and take it to tiebreak. Again, served/played poorly to fall back to 2:6... And I said, ok no more... Won 10:8... I guess other guy choked a bit too...
Our set lasted 1.5 hr and one of the games had about 20 deuces.

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[mikeler]

Stop focusing on the outcome of the match and focus on your performance. So last time you lost, you probably stopped hitting like you do in practice because you got nervous. The next match, don't worry if you hit everything long and lose. Set a goal to play like you practice no matter what the score says.

 

[Legend of Borg]

timothy gallwey has two great books on this exact topic

 

[S&V-not_dead_yet]

I choke so hard on big points, which is part of the reason why I'm so bad at singles. My mental game is awful. I try to concentrate, but I just can't seem to get in the zone and stay there through the entire match.

How do I improve my mental game? I have no idea. It seems like I've tried everything.

Worrying about getting into the Zone and about staying there are two ways of guaranteeing that you will never get there.

First, you have to figure out WHY you're choking:
- Don't want to let others down
- Don't want to fall short of your own expectations
- You're a perfectionist
- You're afraid to fail
- You seek approval from others and winning is how you do it
- etc.

Take a listen to the following:

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=tennis+patrick+cohn

 

[VacationTennis]

In those choke prone moments recognize it and imagine you were warming up with a buddy and just hitting the ball with extra spin and margin - like those times when you feel like it's impossible to miss. What I mean is this thinking relaxes you and takes the pressure off. It's a compromise - you don't hit the scorching winner and yeah the ball may come back but at least give a chance.

 

[JoelDali]

Date older white guys.

 

[Pickle9]

Not everyone can handle Pierre.


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[JoelDali]

Not everyone can handle Pierre.


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Reported.

 

[Pickle9]

Reported.

I luv yew


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[donquijote]

I choke so hard on big points, which is part of the reason why I'm so bad at singles. My mental game is awful. I try to concentrate, but I just can't seem to get in the zone and stay there through the entire match.

How do I improve my mental game? I have no idea. It seems like I've tried everything.

Stop trying, let go.

 

[comeback]

No words or advice or sports psychologist will prevent choking...A player needs to believe in himself that he has put in the hard work, paid his dues and can trust his technique..

 

[Topspin Shot]

To stop choking, you first have to be okay with choking.

 

[Steady Eddy]

Quit caring. In fact, quit caring about everything.

 

[r2473]

Quit caring. In fact, quit caring about everything.

I don’t care about this post

 

[Steady Eddy]

I don’t care about this post

Exactly. And I don't care about your reply to my post.

 

[FiReFTW]

My coach says you need to play a ton of matches constantly and with time the more you get exposed to these situations the more you learn to deal with them, but also try to focus on playing the ball and focusing point by point, not thinking about score or that you have to win or whatever like @S&V-not_dead_yet says

 

[zaph]

Why stop? Embrace it, I will never have world class serve, ground game or net game, but I can be world class at choking.

For example, 5-0 up, completely dominating, winning the majority of the points. Serving for the set, serve breaks completely and then lose 11 games in a row. No prize on the line, no spectators, no pressure.

That is world class choking.

 

[OnTheLine]

Professional grade at freezing up on big points, right here.

What coaches and folks here have told me is this: Stop playing Not to Lose. If you focus on not losing, you tend to start pushing the ball, you play more timidly causing errors (especially into the net or sending over a crushable short ball). Instead play with freedom and even joy making each individual shot the best you can right then.

As a few said in earlier posts ... don't play the scoreboard. It s not your friend even if you are up. Play each ball with freedom.

When I play with that free mentality it seems the scoreboard takes care of itself and the quality of my shots skyrockets.

 

[S&V-not_dead_yet]

Professional grade at freezing up on big points, right here.

What coaches and folks here have told me is this: Stop playing Not to Lose. If you focus on not losing, you tend to start pushing the ball, you play more timidly causing errors (especially into the net or sending over a crushable short ball). Instead play with freedom and even joy making each individual shot the best you can right then.

Playing not to lose usually works in other sports where there is a time limit [although even there it can backfire]. But as one person noted about tennis, "You are either building a lead or losing it.".

Also, in general, trying to focus on not doing a negative is very difficult; it's much easier to focus on doing a positive. The classic example is someone who thinks "don't DF" vs "make sure you take a full cut at the ball". The 2nd philosophy will probably produce fewer DFs.

As a few said in earlier posts ... don't play the scoreboard. It s not your friend even if you are up. Play each ball with freedom.

When I play with that free mentality it seems the scoreboard takes care of itself and the quality of my shots skyrockets.

!!

 

[fuzz nation]

I choke so hard on big points, which is part of the reason why I'm so bad at singles. My mental game is awful. I try to concentrate, but I just can't seem to get in the zone and stay there through the entire match.

How do I improve my mental game? I have no idea. It seems like I've tried everything.

Vic Braden's book, Mental Tennis, is full of material I wish I knew as a kid. I recommend this work all the time and a few of my tennis pals have also really enjoyed it. My tennis life as both a player and coach can be boiled down to two distinct phases; before this book and after.

 

[WestboroChe]

Some thoughts/questions

When you say you are choking what exactly are you doing that you describe as choking? Are you double faulting? Hitting in the net? What exactly?

Regardless of what you are doing start by recognizing that not all losing is a result of choking. You could do everything right and still lose.

Instead ask yourself why you lose these big points then try changing your behavior on them. If you're DFing then hit a second serve both times if you need to. If you're dumping shots in the net, hit a lob.

One thing that really helps is to focus on what you know you need to do. So if I'm serving I focus on getting the toss right and hitting with a nice, relaxed motion, not trying to ace the opponent. Singing while you get ready to serve helps.

If I'm receiving I focus on being prepared, having my racquet at a nice neutral grip and hitting my return deep and down the middle (high percentage play). Once I'm in the point each shot tends to relieve the tension, but to avoid tensing up I try to focus on doing what I'm supposed to do (hit it deep and high, get into position for the next ball).

Finally, make sure you are hitting within your limits. Maybe don't go for the backhand winner down the line but instead a nice cross-court shot deep? Or maybe just bunt back a short ball instead of trying to rip a hard screamer in the corner? Remember that most players get tight on big points, so keep it in play and chances are you'll find your opponent making the unforced errors.

 

[WestboroChe]

Vic Braden's book, Mental Tennis, is full of material I wish I knew as a kid. I recommend this work all the time and a few of my tennis pals have also really enjoyed it. My tennis life as both a player and coach can be boiled down to two distinct phases; before this book and after.

Winning Ugly by Brad Gilbert. Also a classic on tactics.

 

[WestboroChe]

My coach says you need to play a ton of matches constantly and with time the more you get exposed to these situations the more you learn to deal with them, but also try to focus on playing the ball and focusing point by point, not thinking about score or that you have to win or whatever like @S&V-not_dead_yet says

I agree. More match play helps. Also it's best to remember most of us aren't playing for money but exercise and fun. Hard to have fun when you're all p***** off about "choking". On the other hand, having fun also makes choking less a concern.

 

[user92626]

IMO, all the advises about not caring, not looking at the scores, etc are mostly useless. They don't work. Unless you're stupid or have some tricks that blank out your mind, your mind is too intelligent to fall for it. Lots of people (unwittingly or not) attach pride and value to their tennis performance. Scores matter and cannot be forgotten. Even pro's including Federer, Djokovic, etc continue to feel pressure on important points.

The true "trick" to get over your choking is to expose yourself to higher pressure and do that over time. This training takes time. You cannot will the mind at the last minute. Eventually you'll get used to high pressure, then, when you're faced lesser pressure match, you'll be ok.

This is why first timer finalists in big tournaments tend to have great odds against them. It usually takes a few semi's and finals for them to succeed.

I have played prize matches for years. The prizes are small but people attach so much importance and pressure to them because they don't play as often as I do. I tend to have a clear upper edge in this. I don't just do OK but I also perform at my highest/desired level that when I win I increase my handicaps for my opponents.

(I'm sure if I'm faced with a thousand dollar prize match (a much higher prize than I'm used to), I'll feel pressure and play like crap)

 

[OnTheLine]

IMO, all the advises about not caring, not looking at the scores, etc are mostly useless. They don't work. Unless you're stupid or have some tricks that blank out your mind, your mind is too intelligent to fall for it. Lots of people (unwittingly or not) attach pride and value to their tennis performance. Scores matter and cannot be forgotten. Even pro's including Federer, Djokovic, etc continue to feel pressure on important points.

The true "trick" to get over your choking is to expose yourself to higher pressure and do that over time. This training takes time. You cannot will the mind at the last minute. Eventually you'll get used to high pressure, then, when you're faced lesser pressure match, you'll be ok.

This is why first timer finalists in big tournaments tend to have great odds against them. It usually takes a few semi's and finals for them to succeed.

I have played prize matches for years. The prizes are small but people attach so much importance and pressure to them because they don't play as often as I do. I tend to have a clear upper edge in this. I don't just do OK but I also perform at my highest/desired level that when I win I increase my handicaps for my opponents.

(I'm sure if I'm faced with a thousand dollar prize match (a much higher prize than I'm used to), I'll feel pressure and play like crap)

Can't agree with you more. Being match hardened mentally, and especially big-match hardened is of great importance, there is no easy substitute.

However, examining your mindset and re-setting it can be very helpful. Won't work on an individual point by point kind of basis .... but for me, learning that I was playing "not to lose" rather than playing to win was a huge turnaround. My play was night and day difference upon grasping this and altering it.

 

[WestboroChe]

IMO, all the advises about not caring, not looking at the scores, etc are mostly useless. They don't work. Unless you're stupid or have some tricks that blank out your mind, your mind is too intelligent to fall for it. Lots of people (unwittingly or not) attach pride and value to their tennis performance. Scores matter and cannot be forgotten. Even pro's including Federer, Djokovic, etc continue to feel pressure on important points.

The true "trick" to get over your choking is to expose yourself to higher pressure and do that over time. This training takes time. You cannot will the mind at the last minute. Eventually you'll get used to high pressure, then, when you're faced lesser pressure match, you'll be ok.

This is why first timer finalists in big tournaments tend to have great odds against them. It usually takes a few semi's and finals for them to succeed.

I have played prize matches for years. The prizes are small but people attach so much importance and pressure to them because they don't play as often as I do. I tend to have a clear upper edge in this. I don't just do OK but I also perform at my highest/desired level that when I win I increase my handicaps for my opponents.

(I'm sure if I'm faced with a thousand dollar prize match (a much higher prize than I'm used to), I'll feel pressure and play like crap)

Ha ha. So true. I wonder if they would use the same strategy with other things. “just ignore your wife’s affairs and focus on how much you of love her”

 

[Bagumbawalla]

There are basically two aspects to this problem.

One is the area of self-doubt. If you have any weakness in your game or lack of confidence in a shot or situation- you will tend to tense up when the going gets tough.

Practicing the various strokes until you have no doubt left- that you have absolute control- will help when the score gets tight.

The other (psychological) aspect requires, not lying to yourself, but, rather, admitting the truth. It goes like this.

I am- for whatever reason- choking. If I continue to play like this I am going to lose. In fact I have as good as lost already. I can't get much worse so I'm just going to play without pressure.

Sometimes that sort of "reality check" will reduce the stress level and help you play a bit more relaxed.

 

[S&V-not_dead_yet]

IMO, all the advises about not caring, not looking at the scores, etc are mostly useless. They don't work.

They don't work *for you*. But I've heard testimonials from others who had transformations in their game by realizing they were all tied up in knots over caring so much or fixating on results.

Me personally? I definitely play better when I focus on the point and not the points [past and future]. To each his own.

Note: I'm not saying that playing a lot of matches is useless but if you don't recognize the root cause of the anxiety, playing more matches might not help.

 

[OnTheLine]

Ha ha. So true. I wonder if they would use the same strategy with other things. “just ignore your wife’s affairs and focus on how much you of love her”

Actually, that may be precisely it. Interesting segment on NPR a few days ago that I caught. It was on lying and specifically those that are particularly good with lying to themselves.

They studied a college D1 swim team and found that the most successful swimmers, (all with identical training) were the ones that could lie to themselves the best. They went through a bunch on the methodology and it was quite intriguing. They then went into the extrapolation into success in life in general.

Here is a link: https://www.wnycstudios.org/story/91618-lying-to-ourselves

 

[JohnYandell]

Jim Loehr: 16 second cure

 

[Traffic]

I've been asking to serve last in my flights. I wanted to be put into pressure situations so that I can practice dealing with it.

During my last USTA match over the weekend, I had zero DFs until the tie-break (DF'd on 5-5) and then again on super tie-break. DF'd on 9-8 to the female...the one I discovered couldn't return my slop-spin on her FH...

*CHOKE*

 

[S&V-not_dead_yet]

I've been asking to serve last in my flights. I wanted to be put into pressure situations so that I can practice dealing with it.

During my last USTA match over the weekend, I had zero DFs until the tie-break (DF'd on 5-5) and then again on super tie-break. DF'd on 9-8 to the female...the one I discovered couldn't return my slop-spin on her FH...

*CHOKE*

How many DFs did the other 3 have?

 

[user92626]

They don't work *for you*. But I've heard testimonials from others who had transformations in their game by realizing they were all tied up in knots over caring so much or fixating on results.

Me personally? I definitely play better when I focus on the point and not the points [past and future]. To each his own.

Such realization has negligible effect. If it's that easy everyone would just carry a little note with them into a match or simply mumble some mantra under their breath. And, what adult is stupid enough not to have such realization?

You have no idea how many times I have told my peers to take it easy, or "relax", and just play freely but they couldn't. Majority of people around me CANNOT play serious matches. Don't tell me you are not familiar with what I just describe.

However, there are exceptions of course. Some people are simply [emotionally] smarter and can quickly dial in with the right internal language used.

 

[HuusHould]

There are basically two aspects to this problem.

One is the area of self-doubt. If you have any weakness in your game or lack of confidence in a shot or situation- you will tend to tense up when the going gets tough.

Practicing the various strokes until you have no doubt left- that you have absolute control- will help when the score gets tight.

The other (psychological) aspect requires, not lying to yourself, but, rather, admitting the truth. It goes like this.

I am- for whatever reason- choking. If I continue to play like this I am going to lose. In fact I have as good as lost already. I can't get much worse so I'm just going to play without pressure.

Sometimes that sort of "reality check" will reduce the stress level and help you play a bit more relaxed.

I understand as people seem to be refering to, you have to get "comfortable with the uncomfortable", but as you suggest, if you have technical issues with your strokes, as Brad Gilbert says, they'll be magnified under pressure. You refer to the player with suboptimal technique being tight because they dont trust their strokes, which of course makes it harder to execute those strokes, which reinforces their doubts, so I guess its a vicious circle. Sometimes the tension affects the technique, so whats a technically sound stroke turns into a push.

Of course for pretty well all anxiety issues, exposure is the most powerful method to reduce the anxiety long term. Which is the issue here, the issue is excessive tension that robs you of power and accuracy, when you need it the most. But I agree with you that your self talk can either calm you down or exacerbate the tension. If you're playing for your self worth every time you step on the court, exposure may help you play better under high levels of pressure due to getting used to it, but the tension in subsequent matches is unlikely to be reduced much at all. It's also hard to think that you wouldn't play better if you changed your thinking to lower the stakes/relax yourself. So I agree with you, just playing matches wont necessarily make you better when it comes to the crunch, you have to pay attention to and refine what goes through your head.

It may even be necessary to dispute your core beliefs. Eg "I must win or I'm a failure." Playing matches can however be useful as far as helping you realise what works tactically, ie playing the big points aggressively etc.

 

[ParrotOnStrings]

I choke so hard on big points, which is part of the reason why I'm so bad at singles. My mental game is awful. I try to concentrate, but I just can't seem to get in the zone and stay there through the entire match.
How do I improve my mental game? I have no idea. It seems like I've tried everything.

welcome to competition =) if you never had to compete in sports before, you got to learn it and practice it, just like you've learned your stroke.
find a way to concentrate on the ball rather than the game, and tell yourself that everybody makes mistakes. and you are going to lose matches, just play for the sake of the fun.

 

[fuzz nation]

There are basically two aspects to this problem.

One is the area of self-doubt. If you have any weakness in your game or lack of confidence in a shot or situation- you will tend to tense up when the going gets tough.

Practicing the various strokes until you have no doubt left- that you have absolute control- will help when the score gets tight.

The other (psychological) aspect requires, not lying to yourself, but, rather, admitting the truth. It goes like this.

I am- for whatever reason- choking. If I continue to play like this I am going to lose. In fact I have as good as lost already. I can't get much worse so I'm just going to play without pressure.

Sometimes that sort of "reality check" will reduce the stress level and help you play a bit more relaxed.

That's a good point regarding self-doubt. I harp on the high school kids I coach about practicing their game day shots all the time so that they can more readily recall them when the heat is on. When they repeat too much mediocre, it's no mystery what's going to float to the surface at crunch time.

Talking or thinking ourselves out of choking once it's set in can be impossible though. One really valuable idea I talked about with another coach was the idea of getting real about pressure - probably something that's best done when we're not on the courts, but maybe no big deal. Any-who, the idea is to get comfortable with the fact that we're going to feel pressure. It's a mistake to try and pretend that either we shouldn't feel it or have enough self-control to ignore it.

It's sort of like suddenly and unexpectedly finding ourselves in deep water a long way from shore. Okay, so there's a little pressure there, but we can panic or just get swimming. Get real and understand that pressure on the tennis court will come - don't pretend it won't or it's too easy to panic.

 

[Traffic]

How many DFs did the other 3 have?

My partner had 1
The opponent male had about 8 (one of them was on a critical point in the tie-break)
The opponent female had zero.

 

[thehustler]

I choke so hard on big points, which is part of the reason why I'm so bad at singles. My mental game is awful. I try to concentrate, but I just can't seem to get in the zone and stay there through the entire match.

How do I improve my mental game? I have no idea. It seems like I've tried everything.

So tell us about your game. What level are you? How are your shots? What do you expect out of yourself? What is reality? Do you practice more than you play? How long have you been playing for? How well do you know yourself? Answers to these questions will help us figure things out.

I've played for about 15 years (I'm 40 now) and I know I'm not as fast as I was in my 20's, but I know I hit a better ball. I know my serve still isn't the best, that i can reel off 3 DF's in a row, followed by 3 aces in a row as well to completely throw off my opponent as they don't know what to expect. I don't have time to practice, so I'm ok with the player I am. I know I can get a lot better, but I've got little kids and that's more important. I find playing matches is far more important than practice. I've met many people who practice well and then fall apart in match play. It's all mental really. I know myself rather well. I want to be aggressive when I play, but know the best thing I can do is be patient and wait to strike. I see many people who want to hit the snot out of each ball and get error after error and they complain about the sun or wind, or something else when it's just a mental mistake they're making. I know what to expect out of myself and I'm fine with it. The days where I'm playing out of my mind are nice, but also annoying as they show me what I need to do to level up.

If you're a 3.5 expecting to play like a 4.5 that's a problem. If you practice well but fall apart in match play then it's mental. You need to completely relax on the court, even though it can be stressful. Just find what annoys your opponent and stick with it. Some people think that you have to play a 'certain' way to play 'real' tennis and it's not true. If you like to throw them off with off speed serves, a medium rally with a sudden loopy ball with no pace can generate an error, just as a bunch of low slices can drive someone crazy. A lot of times we try to prove that we're something that we're not. Just accept what you are right now. Know that if you have the time you can get better. You can improve your strokes and technique with practice, but practice will never simulate actual match play. Telling someone it's 30-all and you practice a point is lazy. How'd we get there? 2 aces? 2 return winners? Long drawn out points? You play enough matches and the choking will go away. You'll begin to see enough and experience enough stuff to know how to handle it. You'll be up 5-0 in a set and blow it and you'll also be down by the same score and come back. You can win the first 10 games of the match and still lose. Tennis is crazy. You can't run out a clock, can't 'shoot your way out of it', etc.

Being in the 'zone' is really rare. During a match you'll go in and out of concentration. It's normal. Sometimes it's a tiny lapse, other times it's a few games before you get back to playing properly. When you're in a zone you're basically playing a level above yourself based on my experience. It's fun, but it's showing you what you'd need to be doing at the next level. And it teases you. It makes you think you can hit those shots all the time. Best thing to do is have a short term memory. Forget about the last point, even if you won it. I just finished a match, 0,0 and 1. The one I got broken on. We even joked about it before it happened, I told my opponent I should quit while I was ahead so I don't suddenly drop off and lose my serve several times. I lost the first game of the 3rd set, but joked "well it'll be 6-1 now". My focus didn't drop, I didn't choke away the set and never let him get back into it. It was sunny and windy, so it was a great weather combo to have excuses. I adjusted and he didn't. Tomorrow, or heck probably late tonight I'll forget all about that and move on to chasing 5 kids (3 not mine) around the house.

Another thing is to never think about what not to do, because you'll wind up doing it. Instead think of what you need to do. If you're down break point think about where you need to serve the ball and the type of serve you want. It may not happen still, but you'll likely be more confident instead of thinking "Don't double fault" in which case you'll wind up doing so.

 

[JohnYandell]

Guys this was all explored decades ago by Dr. Jim Loehr. A huge piece of this is between point and between game behavior and rituals. You have to work toward a positive physical and mental orientation. The 4 stages Loehr identified can make a huge difference, speaking as both a player and coach.

There is a brief summary here:
http://www.vidamind.com.au/16-second-cure/

 

[davced1]

Guys this was all explored decades ago by Dr. Jim Loehr. A huge piece of this is between point and between game behavior and rituals. You have to work toward a positive physical and mental orientation. The 4 stages Loehr identified can make a huge difference, speaking as both a player and coach.

There is a brief summary here:
http://www.vidamind.com.au/16-second-cure/

I read the summary and came to think of Sharapova.

 

[davced1]

https://true.ink/story/four-steps-to-discover-mental-harmony-in-pro-tennis-and-life/
Here's a nice article.

 

[WestboroChe]

Actually, that may be precisely it. Interesting segment on NPR a few days ago that I caught. It was on lying and specifically those that are particularly good with lying to themselves.

They studied a college D1 swim team and found that the most successful swimmers, (all with identical training) were the ones that could lie to themselves the best. They went through a bunch on the methodology and it was quite intriguing. They then went into the extrapolation into success in life in general.

Here is a link: https://www.wnycstudios.org/story/91618-lying-to-ourselves

That's nothing new. That's just visualization, track and swimming coaches have used that for decades. It definitely helps. Obviously having the belief you can win is important, but tennis isn't swimming.

Michael Phelps can simply listen to music until the moment of the race, telling himself how fast he is and then go do it. We all know that's not how tennis works. There really isn't an analog of missing an easy shot in tennis to swimming. As such, the score and the situation definitely factor into peoples brains. In fact, one of the things I like about tennis is how even the best players make unforced errors routinely and get visibly tight. How to overcome that requires a lot of different methods for different people. But to just say "ignore the score" is not IMO a thoughtful or helpful response.

I think one thing we can all agree on is the solution involves playing more tennis and more matches, regardless of the stakes.

 

[Bender]

1. Drink more fluids
2. Chew more
3. Eat slower

 

[weelie]

I think of matches as stats, stepping stones on my path. I want to collect these stats to be better. It does not matter if I am perfect or if I even win. Because today is just one match, on a continuum of no limit. I want to have a plan, work at it. If I miss a shot, I make a mental note of it. Then after the match, I write out the thoughts of what was good, what is bad, what needs practice (might be the good or the bad that needs practice). In a match, I want to find my internal pace and rhythm.

For different problems I might have, I want also to collect simple tips to aid me. So like I want to hit late on my 2nd serve, or I want to hit early on my forehand, whatever. In case something is not working, I take one simple tip to use, not more than one.

 

[user92626]

I think of matches as stats, stepping stones on my path. I want to collect these stats to be better. It does not matter if I am perfect or if I even win. Because today is just one match, on a continuum of no limit. I want to have a plan, work at it. If I miss a shot, I make a mental note of it. Then after the match, I write out the thoughts of what was good, what is bad, what needs practice (might be the good or the bad that needs practice). In a match, I want to find my internal pace and rhythm.

For different problems I might have, I want also to collect simple tips to aid me. So like I want to hit late on my 2nd serve, or I want to hit early on my forehand, whatever. In case something is not working, I take one simple tip to use, not more than one.

Do you get upset or any negative feelings if your tips, your plan or your practice don't work?

If you do, you'll eventually, inevitably feel frustrated. You'll hate that feeling and you'll develop anxiety to help you avoid it.

If you don't feel any negative feelings, then you'll feel no joy when you succeed either.

 

[GregKusnierz]

Think SPOCK

S - strategy
P - Process over
O - Outcome
C - Centering Breath
K - Keep it Positive

Here's a video I did on it

http://www.betweenthepoints.com/how-to-close-out-the-lead-think-mr-spock/

 

[AM75]

I had a whole summer of chocking where I lost like 16 matches in a row, some in a very spectacular chocking fashion (like a f*cked up 5 match-points in one of my matches). And I always felt bed during the match and after the match, so I stoped caring about the end result. And there were matches when I just didn't want to be on court, regardless of the opponent's level. Seeing that I started to read a lot of theory on mentality in tennis, but it was always hard to put it into practice.
And when I had a match that I knew I would never win. As a Nr 17 000-something in the country I played a top 200 player. And although I've lost 0:6 0:6, I also played the best tennis of my life, I had no inner restraints, I kick-served and sliced the second serve as I knew I could, and didn't serve my usual "100 % in 0 km/h" chicken-sh*t-serve, and so on, and I just memorised the way I've played.
Then another thing came to my mind: I spend money on coaches, I pay the club fee, I pay tournament money, I pay for stringing jobs, and if I can't play a good match and win, it means I just spend all that money for nothing. I was kinda furious at myself and decided that from now on I will play the best I can regardless of the result and I will just enjoy my game as I did in that match. It's still hard for to play in the present not thinking about the outcome, but I just decided to fight more, try to go for every ball and do what I can do best on court. I think now I've chocked mostly because I didn't enjoy being on court, and I probably subconsciously never wanted to win too (for many reasons, including empathy). It is kind a banality, but it really helped me. In my last tournament last week I've made it to the final for the first time in my life (although there were only 4 rounds) really just thinking that I have to enjoy my strokes, my movements and my tactical decisions and that I don't have to care for lost points.