The Silent Treatment

[Cindysphinx]

I won a doubles match tonight against two strong players on a Dynasty sandbagging team. I am over the moon about this result, as my wins over these Dynasty teams are few and far between.

But I have started to notice something in a lot of my matches this year: The Silent Treatment.

I don't wish to chit chat with my opponents on changeovers. Nor do I perform stand-up comedy during the match. I think my behavior on court is quite ordinary.

But there seem to be a lot of opponents who will not say a single word to you during a match. If you say good shot, they say nothing. If you say "Great point, everyone," radio silence. If you slam a ball at them and say sorry, nothing. They wear their grumpy cat face the whole match.

I've played these Dynasty teams over the years, and I don't think I have ever seen one of their players utter even the smallest pleasantry, win or lose.

Do people in other areas observe this? Could it be a team approach or strategy? If so, does it work?

I dunno. When I have the opportunity to play tennis, I am having a grand old time. I don't have to be there; I paid money to be there; I choose to be there. Why do it if it isn't fun? And if it is fun, why act like it is a death march?

 

[OrangePower]

What is a Dynasty team? Is it kind of like a Dallas team but not quite as good?

 

[S&V-not_dead_yet]

I won a doubles match tonight against two strong players on a Dynasty sandbagging team. I am over the moon about this result, as my wins over these Dynasty teams are few and far between.

But I have started to notice something in a lot of my matches this year: The Silent Treatment.

I don't wish to chit chat with my opponents on changeovers. Nor do I perform stand-up comedy during the match. I think my behavior on court is quite ordinary.

But there seem to be a lot of opponents who will not say a single word to you during a match. If you say good shot, they say nothing. If you say "Great point, everyone," radio silence. If you slam a ball at them and say sorry, nothing. They wear their grumpy cat face the whole match.

I've played these Dynasty teams over the years, and I don't think I have ever seen one of their players utter even the smallest pleasantry, win or lose.

Do people in other areas observe this? Could it be a team approach or strategy? If so, does it work?

I dunno. When I have the opportunity to play tennis, I am having a grand old time. I don't have to be there; I paid money to be there; I choose to be there. Why do it if it isn't fun? And if it is fun, why act like it is a death march?

The coaches among us can answer this better but I think juniors and collegiates are taught to play this way. The other team is the enemy; this is a "kill or be killed" situation. Don't give any quarter or it will be taken as a sign of weakness.

Maybe they've forgotten that they are past their glory days and are now in a recreational league where people are supposed to have fun.

The Dynastic team I'm thinking of tends to have players like that and they tend to be young, ex-collegiates. How old are these opponents you've played?

 

[Cindysphinx]

Everyone I play is "older" nowadays on account of how I am old. So 45-55 years old is typical. This is 3.5 -- nobody played as a junior in college, that much is clear.

Dynasty teams are the ones that always go to sectionals and nationals. The implicit understanding is that once you get bumped up you will have to find yourself another team. They bench you if you cannot win. Practices are frequent and not optional.

Or so I've heard. I've never been invited onto the Dynasty we played tonight. I do know people who have had negative experiences on Dynasty teams, so I don't feel like I am missing anything.

I was invited onto a different Dynasty team this week, but I declined. Maybe I will post about the offer here. It was an eye-opener.

 

[S&V-not_dead_yet]

Everyone I play is "older" nowadays on account of how I am old. So 45-55 years old is typical.

Spring league here is 18 and over so I've played a 25-year old and a 55-year old and every age in between.

 

[travlerajm]

What is a Dynasty team? Is it kind of like a Dallas team but not quite as good?

According to Greek myth, a passerby who fails to correctly answer the riddle of the Sphinx is promptly strangled to death by her and devoured.

 

[onehandbh]

Perhaps they are pet owners and their cats got their tongues.

 

[Moveforwardalways]

What is a Dynasty team? Is it kind of like a Dallas team but not quite as good?

^^^ underrated post ^^^

 

[Moveforwardalways]

I was invited onto a different Dynasty team this week, but I declined. Maybe I will post about the offer here. It was an eye-opener.

Would love to hear about it. You wouldn’t believe the stuff I’ve heard going down on some of these these teams. Makes college soccer team hazing scandals look tame.

 

[tennis tom]

Tournament player behavior, most tournament players don't say much of anything from the git-go, they have their game-face on, focused on the task at hand : WINNING. Anything said could be construed as gamesmanship. When I was a rookie at tournaments, as a pleasantry while walking out to the court, I asked my opponent what he did for a living?--(long pause)--he blurted out "real-estate". I later realized he played tennis for a "living"--the only R.E. he may have owned was the bed of his van. Probably made some side money from giving lessons, to the two hot-babes who were with him. The tournament player who is chatty is the exception--they might talk to you after seeing you around tournaments for a few years--maybe something like "Hi".

 

[S&V-not_dead_yet]

Tournament player behavior, most tournament players don't say much of anything from the git-go, they have their game-face on, focused on the task at hand : WINNING. Anything said could be construed as gamesmanship. When I was a rookie at tournaments, as a pleasantry while walking out to the court, I asked my opponent what he did for a living?--(long pause)--he blurted out "real-estate". I later realized he played tennis for a "living"--the only R.E. he may have owned was the bed of his van. Probably made some side money from giving lessons, to the two hot-babes who were with him. The tournament player who is chatty is the exception--they might talk to you after seeing you around tournaments for a few years--maybe something like "Hi".

Are you talking about the Open division? I play non-Open and have run into many friendly people.

 

[S&V-not_dead_yet]

According to Greek myth, a passerby who fails to correctly answer the riddle of the Sphinx is promptly strangled to death by her and devoured.

Is that why there are so few Greeks in the top 100?

 

[li0scc0]

What is a Dynasty team? Is it kind of like a Dallas team but not quite as good?

Iove this post!

 

[li0scc0]

Are you talking about the Open division? I play non-Open and have run into many friendly people.

Agreed.

 

[Deleted member 23235]

I won a doubles match tonight against two strong players on a Dynasty sandbagging team. I am over the moon about this result, as my wins over these Dynasty teams are few and far between.

But I have started to notice something in a lot of my matches this year: The Silent Treatment.

I don't wish to chit chat with my opponents on changeovers. Nor do I perform stand-up comedy during the match. I think my behavior on court is quite ordinary.

But there seem to be a lot of opponents who will not say a single word to you during a match. If you say good shot, they say nothing. If you say "Great point, everyone," radio silence. If you slam a ball at them and say sorry, nothing. They wear their grumpy cat face the whole match.

I've played these Dynasty teams over the years, and I don't think I have ever seen one of their players utter even the smallest pleasantry, win or lose.

Do people in other areas observe this? Could it be a team approach or strategy? If so, does it work?

I dunno. When I have the opportunity to play tennis, I am having a grand old time. I don't have to be there; I paid money to be there; I choose to be there. Why do it if it isn't fun? And if it is fun, why act like it is a death march?

people just want to focus. the fun is in performing well. nothing wrong with that. it’s called a “game face” for a reason...

on the flip side, I run into a lot of talkers that try to get you off your game.... chatting you up, on changeovers.

do they talk after the match?

 

[Dartagnan64]

people just want to focus. the fun is in performing well. nothing wrong with that. it’s called a “game face” for a reason...

on the flip side, I run into a lot of talkers that try to get you off your game.... chatting you up, on changeovers.

do they talk after the match?

True but you can still say "Thanks" when someone compliments you for an nice shot. "Nice Shot" "Thanks". Is that somehow beyond human etiquette and decency even for a league match?

I think people need to watch more pro's playing exhibition matches. That's a lot closer to what rec tennis should be like. We aren't fooling anyone with our game face antics.

 

[Deleted member 23235]

True but you can still say "Thanks" when someone compliments you for an nice shot. "Nice Shot" "Thanks". Is that somehow beyond human etiquette and decency even for a league match?

I think people need to watch more pro's playing exhibition matches. That's a lot closer to what rec tennis should be like. We aren't fooling anyone with our game face antics.

yeah it’s a process.

I used to be super silent. so I ignore compliments because i’m already focusing on what I need to do for the next point.

these days I can make that transition much faster, but mainly because i’ve competed so much, I can organize quickly between points.

but I can appreciate the mutes,... like me they are super competitive and just want to focus.

 

[OnTheLine]

There is game face and silent focus and then there is rude. It can be a fine line.

I am not chatty before a match or at changeovers. But I am friendly and courteous and speak in more than mono-syllables.

During a match I may say "nice shot" or "too good" or "great get" perhaps a few times a set. If someone says something to me I acknowledge it. If I have one of the stray balls before next point I will ask their server by name if they need it, and conversely say "thanks" if ball is given to me as server nicely.I will definitely talk to myself after a stupid UE or DF.

If someone says nothing in response to any comment, that flips over the line into a bit rude.

On the other hand, playing against someone who has a non-stop monologue the entire match ... that is a bit annoying and usually a cover for someone playing way out of their league/level.

 

[S&V-not_dead_yet]

There is game face and silent focus and then there is rude. It can be a fine line.

I am not chatty before a match or at changeovers. But I am friendly and courteous and speak in more than mono-syllables.

During a match I may say "nice shot" or "too good" or "great get" perhaps a few times a set. If someone says something to me I acknowledge it.

If someone says nothing in response to any comment, that flips over the line into a bit rude.

If all I had to go on was the person's match behavior, I might agree. But I've played a 5.0 and that was just his game style. I know he played college back in the day so maybe that's just a habit that's continued. I don't see Open level players constantly complimenting each other. But I also know that this 5.0 is a nice guy before, after, and even during the match. Just not during the games.

 

[Cindysphinx]

Is the "game face" supposed to be intimidating to me as an opponent? Or is it supposed to fire up the person wearing the game face? I'm serious.

If anything, a "game face" makes me more motivated to beat you. It means you take yourself *way* too seriously for rec tennis.

Is there more fun than whipping somebody wearing a game face while smiling and chuckling through the match? I can't think of anything.

 

[S&V-not_dead_yet]

Is the "game face" supposed to be intimidating to me as an opponent? Or is it supposed to fire up the person wearing the game face? I'm serious.

If anything, a "game face" makes me more motivated to beat you. It means you take yourself *way* too seriously for rec tennis.

Is there more fun than whipping somebody wearing a game face while smiling and chuckling through the match? I can't think of anything.

It can be intimidating to the mentally weak or to those accustomed to chatter. Or maybe it's a way for the person to try and stay within an emotional "bubble" and not interact with the outside world? The tennis equivalent of putting blinders on.

I don't think they do it to motivate you.

 

[Deleted member 23235]

Is the "game face" supposed to be intimidating to me as an opponent? Or is it supposed to fire up the person wearing the game face? I'm serious.

If anything, a "game face" makes me more motivated to beat you. It means you take yourself *way* too seriously for rec tennis.

Is there more fun than whipping somebody wearing a game face while smiling and chuckling through the match? I can't think of anything.

lol, spoken like a true non competitor.

it has nothing to do with you... it’s 100% about ignoring distractions so I can focus on the task at hand.

 

[Dartagnan64]

If all I had to go on was the person's match behavior, I might agree. But I've played a 5.0 and that was just his game style. I know he played college back in the day so maybe that's just a habit that's continued. I don't see Open level players constantly complimenting each other. But I also know that this 5.0 is a nice guy before, after, and even during the match. Just not during the games.

Open level players I've had the opportunity to be around constantly compliment each other except during tournaments. They are all very gracious in my experience. I've encountered far more rudeness from Tommy Tryhard 3.5's that think Ivan Lendl is the greatest role model tennis has ever seen.

 

[Dartagnan64]

lol, spoken like a true non competitor.

it has nothing to do with you... it’s 100% about ignoring distractions so I can focus on the task at hand.

Lol spoken like someone with experience in few sports other than tennis. Just being facetious but in all serious, I've played a lot of competitive sports growing up and banter and competition go hand in hand with a lot of them. Hockey and Football in particular. There the banter can get pretty trashy. Golf and Tennis tend to be a little tamer and gracious, being gentleman's sports and all.

But being able to contribute to banter and re-focus is a precious skill set in sport. We learned to give as good as you get where I grew up and still not lose focus.

 

[S&V-not_dead_yet]

Lol spoken like someone with experience in few sports other than tennis. Just being facetious but in all serious, I've played a lot of competitive sports growing up and banter and competition go hand in hand with a lot of them. Hockey and Football in particular. There the banter can get pretty trashy. Golf and Tennis tend to be a little tamer and gracious, being gentleman's sports and all.

But being able to contribute to banter and re-focus is a precious skill set in sport. We learned to give as good as you get where I grew up and still not lose focus.

The typical volleyball tournament had multiple courts going simultaneously side by side, 5' apart with no barrier, balls from other courts coming on to yours, people from other courts coming on to yours, whistles blowing from sometimes undetermined courts, fans cheering and taunting, taco truck vendors trundling through the middle [OK, I made up that last one]. One learns quickly to compartmentalize or one does not make it very far.

 

[Topaz]

Cindy...spill the beans! I want to hear about the invite to the Dynasty team!!!

 

[Cindysphinx]

Ha! There's a thread about it. PM me if you want names!!!

Wait, maybe you're on the Dynasty Team already.

:: runs to check Dynasty Team roster ::

 

[Topaz]

Ha! There's a thread about it. PM me if you want names!!!

Wait, maybe you're on the Dynasty Team already.

:: runs to check Dynasty Team roster ::

Woman!!! We beat them just yesterday!!!!

I saw the thread and posted over there...I have been on that team in the past though.

 

[Cindysphinx]

:: runs to check Tennislink ::

 

[Cindysphinx]

Ha! No, same Dynasty, different league.

 

[Topaz]

Ha! No, same Dynasty, different league.

55+?

Girl, I'm not quite there yet!

 

[Cindysphinx]

Don't rub it in!

 

[Topaz]

To address your original post...

Yes, there are many who just won't crack a smile. Had a match like this a few weeks ago...both teams were out of the running but these gals (dubs) acted like they were in the final of Wimbledon. They also would not give me all the balls during service warmup.

The crankier they are, the more outgoing I get! Haha! Kill 'em with kindness (or annoy the heck out of them, one or another).

I will say, I run into this MUCH more in dubs than singles. In fact, I can't remember the last non-friendly singles match I have had.

 

[Cindysphinx]

I don't play singles, so I cannot say.

But I run into this way way way more in D.C. than anywhere else. It's ridiculous.

I also think there is more cheating, gamesmanship, and stalling in D.C. than neighboring jurisdictions.

I mean, D.C. is the only place where I have participated in a grievance. Remember? Opposing captain called our captain to say they lacked players for Doubles 3. Our captain said thanks for the early notice and told our Doubles 3 players not to come. On match day, opposing captain said it had to be a double-default because our players did not show up to claim the default. That's right, she thought it was fine to sucker your opponents into not showing up and then snatch back your default.

That's D.C. for you. The league actually entertained that grievance before awarding us the defai;t. They should have slapped the taste out of her mouth.

 

[silentkman]

I don't play singles, so I cannot say.

But I run into this way way way more in D.C. than anywhere else. It's ridiculous.

I also think there is more cheating, gamesmanship, and stalling in D.C. than neighboring jurisdictions.

I mean, D.C. is the only place where I have participated in a grievance. Remember? Opposing captain called our captain to say they lacked players for Doubles 3. Our captain said thanks for the early notice and told our Doubles 3 players not to come. On match day, opposing captain said it had to be a double-default because our players did not show up to claim the default. That's right, she thought it was fine to sucker your opponents into not showing up and then snatch back your default.

That's D.C. for you. The league actually entertained that grievance before awarding us the defai;t. They should have slapped the taste out of her mouth.

I would respectfully disagree, from what i have seen NOVA is the worst. Issues like this is why League play sucks. League play has taken the fun out of tennis.

 

[S&V-not_dead_yet]

To address your original post...

Yes, there are many who just won't crack a smile. Had a match like this a few weeks ago...both teams were out of the running but these gals (dubs) acted like they were in the final of Wimbledon.

Maybe that's the way they always play?

They also would not give me all the balls during service warmup.

You mean they'd hit one or more into the net and then leave them on their side so you had less than 3 to serve with? if someone did that to me, I'd either hit my serve into the net so I could warm my shoulder up [or maybe even turn around and hit them into the fence] or grab an open can from my bag. I've had too many shoulder problems to allow some doofus to control my warmup.

 

[tennis tom]

"DYNASTY TEAM" ! ? !--Never heard that expression about a 3.5 USTA league team before--maybe about the NY Yankees in the "50's and "60's. Sound's pretty competitive to me, I bet they've got their game faces on while stretching on deck prior to a match--if I were shooting for best of the mediocre nationally, I know I would put my game face on to focus for the rigors of the task at hand. Hope they win the trip to Hawaii and suck up as many Lava Flow cocktails the night before the match as Tommy Bahamas can blend.

 

[Deleted member 23235]

Lol spoken like someone with experience in few sports other than tennis. Just being facetious but in all serious, I've played a lot of competitive sports growing up and banter and competition go hand in hand with a lot of them. Hockey and Football in particular. There the banter can get pretty trashy. Golf and Tennis tend to be a little tamer and gracious, being gentleman's sports and all.

But being able to contribute to banter and re-focus is a precious skill set in sport. We learned to give as good as you get where I grew up and still not lose focus.

trash talking wasn't quite the point of the OP,... but that said, i never picked up the gift of gab... for me when i do resort to trash talking, it takes me off my game, because now i'm focusing on getting you off your game, rather than focusing on the task at hand.
i prefer to let my racquet do the talking.
i find that successful athletes tend toward the silent stoic approach, but the famous ones get the bulk of the attention (ali, mcgregor, etc...)
my usual counter on the rare occasion i meet a the trash talker, is just to smile...

 

[Deleted member 23235]

Open level players I've had the opportunity to be around constantly compliment each other except during tournaments. They are all very gracious in my experience. I've encountered far more rudeness from Tommy Tryhard 3.5's that think Ivan Lendl is the greatest role model tennis has ever seen.

agreed. every open tourney i've played, nobody talks until after the match is over

 

[Deleted member 23235]

To address your original post...

Yes, there are many who just won't crack a smile. Had a match like this a few weeks ago...both teams were out of the running but these gals (dubs) acted like they were in the final of Wimbledon. They also would not give me all the balls during service warmup.

The crankier they are, the more outgoing I get! Haha! Kill 'em with kindness (or annoy the heck out of them, one or another).

I will say, I run into this MUCH more in dubs than singles. In fact, I can't remember the last non-friendly singles match I have had.

interesting how much folks can read into "not smiling"... but makes sense if you're only always seeing it in the context of playing an opponent who uses "grumpy-tactics" (which is bush league)
are these same folks friendly after the match?

 

[Rattler]

I won a doubles match tonight against two strong players on a Dynasty sandbagging team. I am over the moon about this result, as my wins over these Dynasty teams are few and far between.

But I have started to notice something in a lot of my matches this year: The Silent Treatment.

I don't wish to chit chat with my opponents on changeovers. Nor do I perform stand-up comedy during the match. I think my behavior on court is quite ordinary.

But there seem to be a lot of opponents who will not say a single word to you during a match. If you say good shot, they say nothing. If you say "Great point, everyone," radio silence. If you slam a ball at them and say sorry, nothing. They wear their grumpy cat face the whole match.

I've played these Dynasty teams over the years, and I don't think I have ever seen one of their players utter even the smallest pleasantry, win or lose.

Do people in other areas observe this? Could it be a team approach or strategy? If so, does it work?

I dunno. When I have the opportunity to play tennis, I am having a grand old time. I don't have to be there; I paid money to be there; I choose to be there. Why do it if it isn't fun? And if it is fun, why act like it is a death march?

Yeah I’ve seen this...I just take it as a compliment and then I’ll make my own running dialog as we’re taking them to the woodshed.

 

[samarai]

u refer to them as a dynasty team but wasnt your rating a 4.0 couple of years ago and now after a break u are playing at a 3.5 level. Maybe they know of your history and think u are the dynasty team. when i used to play leagues i just showed up at my allotted times. played my match and shook hands or fist bump after the match and left win or lose.

 

[Cindysphinx]

u refer to them as a dynasty team but wasnt your rating a 4.0 couple of years ago and now after a break u are playing at a 3.5 level. Maybe they know of your history and think u are the dynasty team. when i used to play leagues i just showed up at my allotted times. played my match and shook hands or fist bump after the match and left win or lose.

Oooh, yes! That must be it. They have heard of the legendary Cindysphinx -- she of the losing record at 4.0. Master of the botched overhead, Queen of the pop-up volley. They know of my nefarious plan to take nine months off, gain some weight, and emerge from hibernation as an unstoppable 3.5 Beast. Their lower lip trembles at the mention of my name. So of course they have to give me the Silent Treatment, as they never know when I might attack.

Thanks for clearing that up!

 

[S&V-not_dead_yet]

Oooh, yes! That must be it. They have heard of the legendary Cindysphinx -- she of the losing record at 4.0. Master of the botched overhead, Queen of the pop-up volley. They know of my nefarious plan to take nine months off, gain some weight, and emerge from hibernation as an unstoppable 3.5 Beast. Their lower lip trembles at the mention of my name. So of course they have to give me the Silent Treatment, as they never know when I might attack.

Your logic is impeccable; let's go with it.

 

[ShaunS]

Is the "game face" supposed to be intimidating to me as an opponent? Or is it supposed to fire up the person wearing the game face? I'm serious.

If anything, a "game face" makes me more motivated to beat you. It means you take yourself *way* too seriously for rec tennis.

Is there more fun than whipping somebody wearing a game face while smiling and chuckling through the match? I can't think of anything.

Please don't take thing the wrong way, but you have so much concern about your opponents; it would just exhaust me.

Beyond the obvious differences from person to person, some players may opt to focus primarily on what they're doing rather than pleasantries during the match. Personally, I've purposefully tried both no communication and considerable talk, and I've found a happy medium that works for my personality while keeping my attention at the "right" level. It's never been about anyone besides me and figuring out what works best for me. Sometimes it was simply to keep myself from getting overly frustrated by my mistakes, so really trying to disconnect from the emotions. That's a double-edged sword that doesn't work for me, but it was an interesting experience. It really bothered one guy we played, and I found it sort of humorous.

However, suggesting that people are being rude or disrespectful is preposterous. It'd be just as fair for them to say you're rude for trying to disrupt their preparation.

If we take the more pessimistic outlook, let's assume these people are doing it to get under your skin. It's working. Whether it makes you play worse or not is irrelevant because you're feeding them the desired result. You'll never be able to control everyone to play the way you'd like, so just let it go, and you'll be happier for it.

 

[dunlop_fort_knox]

it seem like your relationship with the dynasty team is bordering on dysfunctional?

I won a doubles match tonight against two strong players on a Dynasty sandbagging team. I am over the moon about this result, as my wins over these Dynasty teams are few and far between.

But I have started to notice something in a lot of my matches this year: The Silent Treatment.

I don't wish to chit chat with my opponents on changeovers. Nor do I perform stand-up comedy during the match. I think my behavior on court is quite ordinary.

But there seem to be a lot of opponents who will not say a single word to you during a match. If you say good shot, they say nothing. If you say "Great point, everyone," radio silence. If you slam a ball at them and say sorry, nothing. They wear their grumpy cat face the whole match.

I've played these Dynasty teams over the years, and I don't think I have ever seen one of their players utter even the smallest pleasantry, win or lose.

Do people in other areas observe this? Could it be a team approach or strategy? If so, does it work?

I dunno. When I have the opportunity to play tennis, I am having a grand old time. I don't have to be there; I paid money to be there; I choose to be there. Why do it if it isn't fun? And if it is fun, why act like it is a death march?

 

[coloskier]

Is the "game face" supposed to be intimidating to me as an opponent? Or is it supposed to fire up the person wearing the game face? I'm serious.

If anything, a "game face" makes me more motivated to beat you. It means you take yourself *way* too seriously for rec tennis.

Is there more fun than whipping somebody wearing a game face while smiling and chuckling through the match? I can't think of anything.

Who told you that USTA is Rec tennis????

 

[DailyG&T]

Don't let it get to you! I can say as someone who negotiates for a living, silent treatment is amateur hour. How much more effective to get into someone's head with a few well placed statements? I think the more "silent treatment" I'd receive, the more I'd be a chatty bluebird of happiness just to annoy them

 

[blakesq]

some people are extroverts, some are introverts.