First Wimbledon Poem

Wimbledon poet pens first verse

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Reported on May 19, 2010



Wimbledon has appointed an official poet for this year's Championships. Matt Harvey will write poems about the tournament during the Wimbledon fortnight that will be published online in written and audio form.

His first effort is as follows:


Grandest of Slams
-- Matt Harvey

Excuse me. I’m sorry. I speak as an Englishman
For the game of lawn tennis there’s no better symbol than
The place where the game’s flame was sparked and then kindled in
Where so many spines have sat straight and then and tingled in
Wimbledon
Where strawberries and cream have traditionally been sampled in
Kids’ eyes have lit up and their cheeks have been dimpled in
Wimbledon
Where tough tennis cookies have cracked and then crumbled in
Top seeds have stumbled, have tumbled, been humbled in
Wimbledon
Where home-grown heroes’ hopes have swelled up and then dwindled in
Wimbledon
The Grand Slams’ best of breed, it’s the whizz it’s the biz
The temple where physics expresses its fizz
There’s one word for tennis and that one word is
Wimbledon

Wow thats really bad, makes modern rap look respectable.

Chadwixx said:

Wow thats really bad, makes modern rap look respectable.

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That's the truth! For them Brits to be so inferior, they sure take themselves and their tired obsolete grass tournament way to serious!

Dare I suggest that the regular crew here on TT might come up with some better verses? I feel a limerick coming on.

This one was posted by Chris Chase on the yahoo tennis site, pretty funny IMO:

"O poet! My poet! Our fearful trip is done;
we now have a bard to record Wimbledon.
The brass at the grass court tourney did say,
"let's hire a poet to reflect on each day.
"Matt Harvey's the gent, though the name's out of sorts;
he sounds like a welder, not troub'dour of the courts.
He'll write every night about things at the tourney,
like rainouts and berries and Murray's failed journey.
Other topics could be: Is this Roger's year?
And why does Rafa so often scratch rear?
It's the first time it's happened, a poet on the grounds,
perhaps Harvey's words can dull Masha's grunt sounds.
The poems run daily on wimbledon.org
which gives him a good chance to rhyme "Bjorn Borg."
Good luck to the poet, and all he will write.
Happy tennis to all, and to all "good fortnight."

Looks like Wertheim had a poetry contest a few years back: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2004/writers/jon_wertheim/02/23/tennis.mailbag/index.html

Sample:

She put up her hand to say, "Wait."
But Serena noticed too late.
A scandal ensued
When Serena got booed.
Still, Justine won the champion's plate.

amx13 said:

This one was posted by Chris Chase on the yahoo tennis site, pretty funny IMO:

"O poet! My poet! Our fearful trip is done;
we now have a bard to record Wimbledon.
The brass at the grass court tourney did say,
"let's hire a poet to reflect on each day.
"Matt Harvey's the gent, though the name's out of sorts;
he sounds like a welder, not troub'dour of the courts.
He'll write every night about things at the tourney,
like rainouts and berries and Murray's failed journey.
Other topics could be: Is this Roger's year?
And why does Rafa so often scratch rear?
It's the first time it's happened, a poet on the grounds,
perhaps Harvey's words can dull Masha's grunt sounds.
The poems run daily on wimbledon.org
which gives him a good chance to rhyme "Bjorn Borg."
Good luck to the poet, and all he will write.
Happy tennis to all, and to all "good fortnight."

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Dude... that's so meta.

JeMar said:

Dude... that's so meta.

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I agree very Charlie Kauffman or Vonnegut esque

Tsonga#1fan said:

That's the truth! For them Brits to be so inferior, they sure take themselves and their tired obsolete grass tournament way to serious!

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PMSL

Don't let bothersome things like facts get in the way of the pysh you spout. In what way is Wimbledon 'tired and obsolete'?

Because no where else do they play on grass. Im in favor of more grass court tournaments but until there are some, wimbledon is obsolete and over hyped as a grand slam.

It makes no sense to have a grand slam tournament on something that isnt played on.

Chadwixx said:

Because no where else do they play on grass. Im in favor of more grass court tournaments but until there are some, wimbledon is obsolete and over hyped as a grand slam.

It makes no sense to have a grand slam tournament on something that isnt played on.

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I do not mean this as an offense, but this is incredibly ignorant.

Wimbledon's stature is nothing if not bigger these days, because it's the one major tournament that still features "real" tennis.

Wimbledon is tennis.

Chadwixx said:

Because no where else do they play on grass. Im in favor of more grass court tournaments but until there are some, wimbledon is obsolete and over hyped as a grand slam.

It makes no sense to have a grand slam tournament on something that isnt played on.

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Just saying something over and over doesn't make it true. Wimbledon is the pre-eminent tennis tournament in the world. Centre Court is tennis's Cathedral. Always has been, always will be. Now you can rail against it all you like - it won't make it any less true.

batz said:

Just saying something over and over doesn't make it true. Wimbledon is the pre-eminent tennis tournament in the world. Centre Court is tennis's Cathedral. Always has been, always will be.

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Take your own advice

batz said:

Just saying something over and over doesn't make it true. Wimbledon is the pre-eminent tennis tournament in the world. Centre Court is tennis's Cathedral. Always has been, always will be. Now you can rail against it all you like - it won't make it any less true.

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You should take your opinion to heart yourself. More and more are finding Wimbledon and the grass irrelevant, and constantly screaming your defense of it ISN'T going to change the ever swinging opinions that grass doesn't make sense.

Thing is guys, I could cite plenty of evidence for my position, whereas I'm pretty sure you can't find much for yours.

Feel free to prove me wrong by posting links to movers and shakers (players, administrators, ex-pros, fan groups etc.) stating that Wimbledon is in decline/obsolete/'doesn't make sense' (whatever that means).

Tsonga#1fan said:

That's the truth! For them Brits to be so inferior, they sure take themselves and their tired obsolete grass tournament way to serious!

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What a ridiculous comment.

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;

If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with triumph and disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one fling of a service-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -

Yours is Wimbledon and everything that's in it,

And—which is more—you'll be a Champion my son!

The Poem is ridiculous Wimby should stop them immediately before it gets even worse.
But equally ridiculous are some comments in this thread.Wimby obsolete??roflmao it is the biggest tournament in the world,was and will be no matter if no else plays on grass.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You play tennis
In soviet russia, tennis plays you

Tennis at Wimbledon can be quite boring
Too many serves unreturned can lead to snoring
For the Top seeds the first week is rough
Only a few know how to play on the stuff

Surely though no fortnight has drama betterer
As player after player is ousted by his heinous

King Federer.

Where's the grandmaster Senor Jay Bullworth ? Wake him up, throw some cold water on him, pull him out of the arms of Janet and Jill ...

Sentinel roamed the Wimbledon grass
Looking for a vegetarian pro
He did not find anyone
Just BorgNumberOne who said hey bro.

batz said:

Thing is guys, I could cite plenty of evidence for my position, whereas I'm pretty sure you can't find much for yours.

Feel free to prove me wrong by posting links to movers and shakers (players, administrators, ex-pros, fan groups etc.) stating that Wimbledon is in decline/obsolete/'doesn't make sense' (whatever that means).

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Obsolete.....as in, since the open era began, more and more major tournaments have gone away from grass, tennis itself has evolved from it's "country club" status. With the exception of the Australian, which has become a big time slam, ironically, since it got rid of the grass, no other slam has had as many top notch players skip it simply because they can't stand playing on the crap. It would perhaps be more entertaining to watch, and the quality of play would be better if there were more tournaments played on the stuff, but that's not going to happen. Even last year's men's final was a snoozer, despite the deceiving 5 set score indicating something different. Wimbledon has always been a step behind the times with their white tennis balls, strict dress codes, and no play on Sunday traditions (which have somewhat been relaxed). Wimbledon is all about pageantry and tradition, not great tennis, and the Brits seem to be into that, sadly so do many others. Why else would anybody else care about their precious royal family! Seems as though there are still plenty of people that care more about Wimbledon that any other tournament and that's fine, but there are becoming more and more that simply don't care. I'd say sinking television ratings for tennis' so called grandest event is a good indication that something needs to change already. I'll take an exciting Australian or U S Open any day over an over hyped tournament that plays on a surface that most everyone reading this will NEVER even hit a single ball on.

Tsonga#1fan said:

Obsolete.....as in, since the open era began, more and more major tournaments have gone away from grass, tennis itself has evolved from it's "country club" status. With the exception of the Australian, which has become a big time slam, ironically, since it got rid of the grass, no other slam has had as many top notch players skip it simply because they can't stand playing on the crap. It would perhaps be more entertaining to watch, and the quality of play would be better if there were more tournaments played on the stuff, but that's not going to happen. Even last year's men's final was a snoozer, despite the deceiving 5 set score indicating something different. Wimbledon has always been a step behind the times with their white tennis balls, strict dress codes, and no play on Sunday traditions (which have somewhat been relaxed). Wimbledon is all about pageantry and tradition, not great tennis, and the Brits seem to be into that, sadly so do many others. Why else would anybody else care about their precious royal family! Seems as though there are still plenty of people that care more about Wimbledon that any other tournament and that's fine, but there are becoming more and more that simply don't care. I'd say sinking television ratings for tennis' so called grandest event is a good indication that something needs to change already. I'll take an exciting Australian or U S Open any day over an over hyped tournament that plays on a surface that most everyone reading this will NEVER even hit a single ball on.

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You don't understand the meaning of the word obsolete. In order to be be obsolete, something must be of no further use as it has been superseded by a superior version of itself. Wimbledon's continued pre-eminence, by definition, refutes your position. It is not posiible for the world's pre-eminent anything to be obsolete. It's logically incoherent.


Got any links that back up the two assertions you seem to have pulled out of the ether i.e.

1. That more and more people don't care about Wimbledon

2. That because of this, TV ratings for Wimbledon are falling at a faster rate than the other slams

You are of course entitled to your opinions on Wimbledon - but don't be surprised when people point and laugh at you.