CanadianChic's Corner - The NON-Chat Cafe Bar and Bistro

[stringertom]

John Cleese strolls down Bistro Street and into the Bistro.

John thinks he spots Maria Sharapova in a dark corner, drinking alone.

He asks loudly, "Where is Senator Bullworth? I have a few jokes to share with him." An awkward silence abruptly envelopes the Bistro.

The lemur yells, "Chris Edwards had him shot!" and jumps on his shoulder.

Maria stands up, and it doesn't seem to be her.

The wig comes off,

and it is Chris Edwards. He yells repeatedly that he didn't shoot the Senator, straightens his spring collection Maria Sharapova dress, and angrily marches out of the Bistro.

The lemur takes another swig of Stoli Fly Agaric, and tries to figure out if it is 11:33 or going on seven.

You are right about the time four times a day!

 

[ilovecarlos]

Anything that Mr Cleese wants is on the house! The lemur and LPV are very excited by his visit, as am I

 

[stringertom]

Anything that Mr Cleese wants is on the house! The lemur and LPV are very excited by his visit, as am I

Even poisson a la Wanda avec la sauce Otto???

 

[Mike Bulgakov]

Anything that Mr Cleese wants is on the house! The lemur and LPV are very excited by his visit, as am I

Mr. Cleese accepts ILC's kind offer. He sits down with Dedans to enjoy a pint of Stoli Fly Agaric and a plate of ILC's famous eggplant parmigiana.

A drunk Dane enters the Bistro with a case of Guld Tuborg. The lemur greets her.

 

[CCNM]

*orders a LaBlatt Blue and tries to talk to Ms. Caroline about her face and body paint* Peter-great to hear about the continuing success of your daughter-will we be seeing her in the Olympics one day? CC-saw a little bit of 60 Minutes's interview with Prime Minister J. Trudeau the other night. Is it just me or does he look like a young Mario Lemieux?

 

[ilovecarlos]

Saw CC's PM holding 2 adorable panda cubs this am! We have to arrange for them to come and meet LPV and the lemur!

 

[Sentinel]

Hi all !

 

[Dedans Penthouse]

 

[stringertom]

My neck aches from watching your love of Mme. Kumquat! @Mike Bulgakov needs to share some of the contents of his Fischer racquet bag to help ease my pain.

 

[ilovecarlos]

Waves to Senti! Hi honey! How's my favorite pup lover? Oh my dearest Beloved Dedans.....he makes me smile every day. Tom, the lemur is well known for his neck massages Love and hugs to everyone!

 

[Sentinel]

Waves to Senti!

Waves back.

I must upload pics of my new 6-month old friend from two blocks away who has finally succumbed to my charm.

 

[Dedans Penthouse]

Oh my dearest Beloved Dedans.....he makes me smile every day.

Bonjour mon amour, in the City of Lights early this year.....staying at regular jaunt (le Bristol) but haven't yet seen the house cats (Pharoah and Cleopatra) stealing about thus far...

What's between us and our pants is between 15 and 20 feet of well worn broadloom : ) ​

 

[Mike Bulgakov]

Bonjour mon amour, in the City of Lights early this year.....staying at regular jaunt (le Bristol) but haven't yet seen the house cats (Pharoah and Cleopatra) stealing about thus far...

What's between us and our pants is between 15 and 20 feet of well worn broadloom : ) ​

If you have a nice winter's coat, and like clean air and a relative lack of tourists, this is a very good time to visit Paris. Have a great time!

 

[ilovecarlos]

I'm counting the days until my annual jaunt to Alba. Leaving April 14 and returning May 2. I need it badly. the past few months have been unkind. Have found a new source for my newest vice.....Arran Gold. It's what Bailey's wants to be when it grows up! It's made on the isle of Arran. I may import a case or 2 to the Bistro and see how it sells (hopefully not all to me).

Senti, can't wait to see some pics of your newest best buddy!

Happy spring everyone....blows kisses to all

 

[Sentinel]

Happy Birthday, @ilovecarlos

Have a great day, and many many more to come.

 

[stringertom]

Happy Birthday, @ilovecarlos

Have a great day, and many many more to come.

I hope Mr. Kumquat remembered to oil up the ceiling fan motor!

Party time above our heads!

 

[Mike Bulgakov]

Happy birthday ILC. I hope you have a great time in Scotland.

 

[ilovecarlos]

Thanks for all of the well wishes dear friends. It was a lovely day

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

Happy birthday, ILC! We were going to send you a birthday cake with Sureshs inside dressed in that Borat one piece mankini, but he ate the cake from the inside out before the elephant tranquilizer dart took effect.

 

[ilovecarlos]

OK boys......ILC leaves tomorrow. Pick up after yourselves. Don't forget to lock the doors when you leave. Be back first week in May. Blows kisses

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

OK boys......ILC leaves tomorrow. Pick up after yourselves. Don't forget to lock the doors when you leave. Be back first week in May. Blows kisses

Why don't you and Mr. @Dedans Penthouse take @sureshs along? You would save a lot on gas, for one.

Just kidding. Enjoy!

 

[Sentinel]

Why don't you and Mr. @Dedans Penthouse take @sureshs along? You would save a lot on gas, for one.

Just kidding. Enjoy!

You had better be kidding. Their saving on gas will be over-compensated by the huge food bills.

Wherever they visit, the country/city will implement a new restroom tax.

 

[stringertom]

You had better be kidding. Their saving on gas will be over-compensated by the huge food bills.

Wherever they visit, the country/city will implement a new restroom tax.

@ilovecarlos could float over to Scotland on the Poobenburg, which is a very energy-conscious form of transportation...Poobs simply fills up at an AYCE burrito joint before departure and the necessary fuel for the long flight over the Atlantic is then gradually released from his infernal combustion contraption underneath the slime green tent and baggy shorts. Should the Poobenburg start losing altitude along the way, there will be a few Awesome Blossoms stored away as a contingency.

Our lovely passenger will be safe as long as she keeps her TSV-approved gas mask handy.

 

[Sentinel]

@ilovecarlos could float over to Scotland on the Poobenburg, which is a very energy-conscious form of transportation

Yes, but to reach Scotland crossing the Atlantic on this "energy-conscious form of transportation" could take weeks if not months. What if the Poobenburg loses altitude over the pond, as you say ? How will he refuel ?

 

[stringertom]

Yes, but to reach Scotland crossing the Atlantic on this "energy-conscious form of transportation" could take weeks if not months. What if the Poobenburg loses altitude over the pond, as you say ? How will he refuel ?

I detailed the emergency fuel reserves...several Awesome Blossoms will be stowed away for that contingency!

Don't underestimate the top speed of the Poobenburg...the gas from an AYCE raid, while dangerous to breathe, is highly energetic and lighter than air so it helps streamline the craft for that long journey.

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

I detailed the emergency fuel reserves...several Awesome Blossoms will be stowed away for that contingency!

Don't underestimate the top speed of the Poobenburg...the gas from an AYCE raid, while dangerous to breathe, is highly energetic and lighter than air so it helps streamline the craft for that long journey.

That's fine and dandy as long as ILV or Dedans don't light a match. If they do, "Oh, the huge manatee!"

 

[stringertom]

That's fine and dandy as long as ILV or Dedans don't light a match. If they do, "Oh, the huge manatee!"

Definitely a no-smoking flight!

Who is ILV? Has our barmaid decided to play the "home team" and suddenly loves Venus or Victoria???

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

Definitely a no-smoking flight!

Who is ILV? Has our barmaid decided to play the "home team" and suddenly loves Venus or Victoria???

Clumsy fingers. ILC, of course.

 

[stringertom]

Clumsy fingers. ILC, of course.

Glad of this! Had it been Victoria joining her for rotations on the ceiling fan it would have gotten way too noisy for conversation at the bar, although a ménage a trois with Mr. & Mrs. Kumquat might make conversation stop!

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

Glad of this! Had it been Victoria joining her for rotations on the ceiling fan it would have gotten way too noisy for conversation at the bar, although a ménage a trois with Mr. & Mrs. Kumquat might make conversation stop!

It would also make conversations start!

 

[Sentinel]

Anything to prevent Poobs from cleaning out the Bistro fridge and pantry.

 

[stringertom]

Anything to prevent Poobs from cleaning out the Bistro fridge and pantry.

Isn't Poobs banned from The Bistro due to his nasty habit of shuffling off without paying tabs or tipping???

 

[Dedans Penthouse]

Isn't Poobs banned from The Bistro due to his nasty habit of shuffling off without paying tabs or tipping???

There'd be no getting off Scot-free in Scotland for Poob the rube. .

"Did you say the check?!! ...
looks like wee, wee, wee...
all the way home."
​

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

Isn't Poobs banned from The Bistro due to his nasty habit of shuffling off without paying tabs or tipping???

Poobs is in the habit of only giving tips to impressionable nubile Div3 females. He also doesn't give them just the tip, but the whole
thing. IYKWIM.

 

[stringertom]

Poobs is on the habit of only giving tips to impressionable nubile Div3 females. He also doesn't give them just the tip, but the whole
thing. IYKWIM.

He never gave the whole thing, even when giving them the hole thing...hence the 6-0 3-0 score line!

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

He never gave the whole thing, even when giving them the hole thing...hence the 6-0 3-0 score line!

One and a half bagels from the Poobster is really a baker's dozen though to be fair.

 

[stringertom]

One and a half bagels from the Poobster is really a baker's dozen though to be fair.

Let's see...a baker's dozen is 13; sureshs gives 1.5 bagels; that means he has 8.67 of his "love" to give. No wonder he doesn't FINNISH the second bagel...most girls are not impress with just 6.5 of "love"!

 

[Mike Bulgakov]

It is funny how often Danes remind people to stay calm. I think this comes from early parenting, and I enjoy the dark, steady Danish humor that comes with the flow of beers that matches the rate of Swedes passing out in Danish bars.

 

[Mike Bulgakov]

The lemur and LPV still await ILC's return from Scotland with a stash of single malts. In the meantime, the lemur places a Bistro order.

The horses are tired, as the San Diego Bageler is passed-out in the carriage. The carriers are vague when Mr. Lemurov asks about the fruit and beer being delivered.

 

[stringertom]

The lemur and LPV still await ILC's return from Scotland with a stash of single malts. In the meantime, the lemur places a Bistro order.

The horses are tired, as the San Diego Bageler is passed-out in the carriage. The carriers are vague when Mr. Lemurov asks about the fruit and beer being delivered.

If those massive steeds can't pull the Poobs, I would be overmatched on my pedicab and would need lots of bananas before and even more Carlsbergs afterwards.

 

[Vcore89]

The lemur and LPV still await ILC's return from Scotland with a stash of single malts. In the meantime, the lemur places a Bistro order.

The horses are tired, as the San Diego Bageler is passed-out in the carriage. The carriers are vague when Mr. Lemurov asks about the fruit and beer being delivered.

Fruit and beer, how about the Bull and Bear?

 

[Dedans Penthouse]

Fruit and beer, how about the Bull and Bear?

Whenever I need my ball joints lubed as well as a fill up,

I go to POOB & LUBE

 

[stringertom]

Whenever I need my ball joints lubed as well as a fill up,

I go to POOB & LUBE

That cow should be wary...Poobs is in Chennai soon and he may get hungry for a beef burrito or three!

 

[Vcore89]

That cow should be wary...Poobs is in Chennai soon and he may get hungry for a beef burrito or three!

Poobs can avail of all menu items for $1 at Dos Toros' [originally from Bay Area] 3rd taqueria promo in Midtown.

 

[ilovecarlos]

Hello Bistro Peeps! Happy Fourth of July and a great big happy birthday to my most Beloved, Mr Dedans Penthouse. We are celebrating quietly this year. You all know of our fondness for submarine races and canoodling? well, that's where we are and that's what we're doing. Back later!

 

[Dedans Penthouse]

Hello Bistro Peeps! Happy Fourth of July and a great big happy birthday to my most Beloved, Mr Dedans Penthouse. We are celebrating quietly this year. You all know of our fondness for submarine races and canoodling? well, that's where we are and that's what we're doing. Back later!

​

 

[Mike Bulgakov]

I guess Cibulková was tired today after last night's pre-marriage bacchanal of fun, where she shook her booty all night with Dedans and company.

 

[Dedans Penthouse]

I guess Cibulková was tired today after last night's pre-marriage bacchanal of fun, where she shook her booty all night with Dedans and company.

au contraire, 'twas was watching the submarine races with the incandescent one, Mlle. Kumquat. .......and speak for yourself Danish butter cookie-cutter of love. ​

 

[stringertom]

I guess Cibulková was tired today after last night's pre-marriage bacchanal of fun, where she shook her booty all night with Dedans and company.

Dominika fails the first clause of the age of legal drinking statutes...she is not tall enough to reach the Bistro bar.

One advantage for her suffering through being altitudinally challenged though...If she had a flat head, I could rest my drink there while she gave her oral dissertation on the merits of Cranial Satisfaction.

 

[Dedans Penthouse]

Dominika fails the first clause of the age of legal drinking statutes...

she is not tall enough to reach the Bistro bar.

Easy fix: drink her under the table : )


On the upside:


​