Does my Colleague Like Me?

ninman

ninman

Hall of Fame
Ok, so I just started a new job a few months ago, and for the first 2 months I was in training. During training one of the more experienced people was helping us out and I asked her a question. Ever since then I've noticed that she seems to talk to me a lot. But it's really strange. When she's using the printer, if I happen to come in to the room she'll start chatting with me about stuff, but if she's with her other colleagues (who are all senior btw), she won't talk to me at all. It's like she's trying to avoid having them see her talking to me.

Also if I walk past her desk, occasionally she'll smile at me, and when we pass in the corridor she gives me this kind of awkward smile. She's about the same age as me (possibly a bit younger), and quite attractive, but I honestly have no idea why she seems to want to avoid having people see her talking to me. What do you guys think?
 
Dedans Penthouse

Dedans Penthouse

Legend
I Fell In Love With a Married Woman

Oh brother :rolleyes:

Another 'Attention Queen' thread from the same person who gave us this pile of shiate:

Previous TT Ninman Thread:

"I fell in love with a married woman."

Ok, let me preface this story by saying that I did not know she was married.

I saw this woman at work, she smiled at me and I just fell in love with her instantly. She just gave me a really, really strong feeling. From then on we'd say hi and smile whenever we saw each other.

One day after work I saw her walking home by herself, so I ran up to her and started talking to her. We got on great, I really great. She invited me to dinner, and gave me every indication that she liked me a lot.

For example, she told me she could hear me singing in my office, and thought it was cute, she thinks I'm handsome and extremely attractive and lots of other similar compliments.

I told her about my favourite movie ever called Life is Beautiful, in it the main character Guido falls in love with a woman at first sight and calls her "Princess" because he joked with children that he was a Prince then she fell out of a window and caught her.

That night online I told her I had found my princess, but she thought I was talking about someone else. Then she said "you, her, my husband and I should get together and the 4 of us can have dinner".

When I read that I was crushed, totally. Now I just feel the deepest darkest despair. I'm not sure what to do. I mean she even liked it when I started imparting all of my tennis knowledge to her, and she also told me she likes to play tennis...........
Click to expand...

Please....spare us this time......
 
Fifth Set

Fifth Set

Professional
Dedans Penthouse said:
Oh brother :rolleyes:

Another 'Attention Queen' thread from the same person who gave us this pile of shiate:

Previous TT Ninman Thread:



Please....spare us this time......
Click to expand...

That old thread at least seems much more interesting than this dull-azz new one.

Hopefully mods will merge all of OP's threads with all of Gut's and we will have one big cluster of conspiratorial, whiny insecurity concentrated in one convenient place!
 
r2473

r2473

G.O.A.T.
ninman said:
What do you guys think?
Click to expand...

Don't listen to these knuckleheads. They couldn't get a date from an escort service.

She obviously likes you. She's just waiting for you. Why not ask her if she'd like to go to go to lunch. If things seem to be working out, maybe ask her out for dinner.

Have fun!!
 
F

fed_da_man

Rookie
You're reading too much into things OP. This is not healthy behavior and you should stop immediately.

Re-evaluate the way you conduct yourself. You're going to get a reputation as the creepy guy who falls in love with any girl who looks at him.
 
r2473

r2473

G.O.A.T.
Power Player said:
He has a social condition of some sort - correct?
Click to expand...

He's said that he's on the autism spectrum in previous threads, which basically means he's a bit shy. Nothing more.

OP, you aren't going to be the "creepy guy" if you ask a woman to have lunch with you. I think it's the most normal thing in the world for a guy to be attracted to a pretty woman. And the worst that can happen is she might say no. But you'll never know unless you ask. Go for it!!!

And don't listen to these morons. They don't know anything.
 
Last edited:
F

fed_da_man

Rookie
r2473 said:
He's said that he's on the autism spectrum in previous threads.

OP, you aren't going to be the "creepy guy" if you ask a woman to have lunch with you. Just go for it. The worst that can happen is she might say no. But you'll never know unless you ask. Go for it!!!

And don't listen to these morons. They don't know anything.
Click to expand...
I've worked in offices before and these type of guys are always obvious and always get made fun of behind their backs. Look at the way he's over-reacting to smiles and conversation from a coworker. The way he acts around this girl is probably not very casual and she can tell something's up.
 
ninman

ninman

Hall of Fame
r2473 said:
He's said that he's on the autism spectrum in previous threads, which basically means he's a bit shy. Nothing more.

OP, you aren't going to be the "creepy guy" if you ask a woman to have lunch with you. I think it's the most normal thing in the world for a guy to be attracted to a pretty woman. And the worst that can happen is she might say no. But you'll never know unless you ask. Go for it!!!

And don't listen to these morons. They don't know anything.
Click to expand...

Ok, but why on earth doesn't she talk to me when other people are around?
 
Power Player

Power Player

Bionic Poster
Pretty sure r2 is trolling as usual. He is also married, and as a result most likely is the least sexually active man in this thread.

My advise - career over girl. Don't poo where you eat...etc.

It doesn't matter why she doesn't talk to you when other people are around. Don't sweat it. Its the weekend, go out and meet more girls. You will forget about this in no time.
 
Rubens

Rubens

Hall of Fame
OP, I have a relative who's on the spectrum. He's successfully employed and happily married. MANY people on the spectrum do have romantic relationships. Women are difficult to read even for normal men. So I'll give you the advice that would apply to every guy: if a woman really likes you, she'll make you feel confident.
 
Mr.Lob

Mr.Lob

G.O.A.T.
ninman said:
Ok, so I just started a new job a few months ago, and for the first 2 months I was in training. During training one of the more experienced people was helping us out and I asked her a question. Ever since then I've noticed that she seems to talk to me a lot. But it's really strange. When she's using the printer, if I happen to come in to the room she'll start chatting with me about stuff, but if she's with her other colleagues (who are all senior btw), she won't talk to me at all. It's like she's trying to avoid having them see her talking to me.

Also if I walk past her desk, occasionally she'll smile at me, and when we pass in the corridor she gives me this kind of awkward smile. She's about the same age as me (possibly a bit younger), and quite attractive, but I honestly have no idea why she seems to want to avoid having people see her talking to me. What do you guys think?
Click to expand...

You ever see a stray chimp join a new troop? He's the low monkey on the totem pole. He's shunned, maybe picked on a bit, until he gains in experience and thus acceptance. You're that monkey. It hurts your female's status, amounst the dominant males, to be seen with you. Once you can establish some territory, so to speak, in your new work environment, then you may engage, and perhaps mate with the young female.
 
ninman

ninman

Hall of Fame
Mr.Lob said:
You ever see a stray chimp join a new troop? He's the low monkey on the totem pole. He's shunned, maybe picked on a bit, until he gains in experience and thus acceptance. You're that monkey. It hurts your female's status, amounst the dominant males, to be seen with you. Once you can establish some territory, so to speak, in your new work environment, then you may engage, and perhaps mate with the young female.
Click to expand...

Lol. It's not that bad surely? I work in a very relaxed office, we don't even have a dress code.
 
r2473

r2473

G.O.A.T.
ninman said:
Ok, but why on earth doesn't she talk to me when other people are around?
Click to expand...

Ninman, even women don't know why they do what they do, so there is no way a guy is going to know.

Ask her to have lunch with you. You don't need to understand everything before you make a move. Just go with your instincts.
 
ninman

ninman

Hall of Fame
r2473 said:
Ninman, even women don't know why they do what they do, so there is no way a guy is going to know.

Ask her to have lunch with you. You don't need to understand everything before you make a move. Just go with your instincts.
Click to expand...

Isn't that being a little forward? I mean she might just be being friendly.
 
r2473

r2473

G.O.A.T.
ninman said:
Isn't that being a little forward? I mean she might just be being friendly.
Click to expand...

She might say no. Chance you have to take. But asking a colleague to have lunch with you isn't forward or "creepy" at all. Just friendly and very normal part of working with other people.

Don't overthink things or give them more importance than they warrant. You are just asking a new friend to have lunch. No big deal.

Once you get to know her better, then maybe you can ask her out for dinner.
 
ninman

ninman

Hall of Fame
r2473 said:
She might say no. Chance you have to take. But asking a colleague to have lunch with you isn't forward or "creepy" at all. Just friendly and very normal part of working with other people.

Don't overthink things or give them more importance than they warrant. You are just asking a new friend to have lunch. No big deal.

Once you get to know her better, then maybe you can ask her out for dinner.
Click to expand...

Yeah, but do you think she might actually like me?
 
r2473

r2473

G.O.A.T.
ninman said:
Yeah, but do you think she might actually like me?
Click to expand...

That is something you have to find out for yourself.

You don't need to know the answer before asking a girl on a date (or in this case just to lunch). Take a chance.

If you don't ask, you'll never know. Isn't that worse?
 
ninman

ninman

Hall of Fame
r2473 said:
That is something you have to find out for yourself.

You don't need to know the answer before asking a girl on a date (or in this case just to lunch). Take a chance.

If you don't ask, you'll never know. Isn't that worse?
Click to expand...

Kind of, but remember I have to work with this person and see them every single day. I'd rather wait for her to make a move than saying something myself. If she wants to talk to me, or go to lunch, she'll ask me.
 
gut wax

gut wax

Hall of Fame
ninman said:
Kind of, but remember I have to work with this person and see them every single day. I'd rather wait for her to make a move than saying something myself. If she wants to talk to me, or go to lunch, she'll ask me.
Click to expand...

Having written that, do you believe that is the best advice you can give yourself?
 
r2473

r2473

G.O.A.T.
ninman said:
Kind of, but remember I have to work with this person and see them every single day. I'd rather wait for her to make a move than saying something myself. If she wants to talk to me, or go to lunch, she'll ask me.
Click to expand...

She probably won't ask you. That's not how women are. Women like to be asked.

Ninman, don't build this up in your head. You are just asking a friend to lunch. It's not a date. It's just good company and conversation.

It sounds like she is friendly with you. Why wouldn't she want to grab some lunch?
 
r2473

r2473

G.O.A.T.
ninman said:
Yes, I quite like her. She seems like my type of woman, I'm just not confident at all.
Click to expand...

It's normal to be nervous and a bit unconfident.

Don't think of her as a love interest. You're just asking a colleague, (a buddy) to have some lunch.
 
dlk

dlk

Hall of Fame
I'd follow r2's advice. Your analysis of the situation may differ from hers'. Don't sit on the sideline; keep it light but offer opportunity.
 
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