Why do nice guys never get dates?

[halalula1234]

girls dont normally as guys out much so u have to start first. I've had only 2-3 relationships and it turned out to be a waste of time cus those girls are worthless trashes.
I never asked anyone out and will not be doing so until i finish college. I have more friends that a girl than friends that a guys. I pretty a majority of girls in my year and im good friends with a lot of them and they tell me all their problems and heaps of them was like I wouldnt as a good friend out its just doesnt feel right to ask a friend you've know for a while and talks and jokes around with out.

 

[autumn_leaf]

Nice guys probably want the hot girls, too.

don't we all want the hot girls?? :twisted:

 

[super_forehand]

I'm sorry to say but you're the type of guy that goes straight into the FRIEND ZONE

 

[adams_1]

I'm sorry to say but you're the type of guy that goes straight into the FRIEND ZONE

Picture a deep deep pit with smooth walls that slope in towards the top.

 

[Tennisguy777]

Picture a deep deep pit with smooth walls that slope in towards the top.

I feel your pain!

 

[Steve Huff]

Having bee married for nearly 30 years now, I think I can answer this one. I think its because girls want someone they can say "no" to. They can't say "no" to someone who is too nice to ask.

 

[max]

I like SFrazeur's advice. For the OP, I'd say

(a) at 15, you're just getting into it. Don't fall apart at the first hard wind or tough situation. The more you do it, the better you get; this goes for conversations with the opposite sex as well as tennis as well as mathematics.

(b) don't make the mistake of believing (like Walt Disney movies) that there's ONLY ONE person for you. In reality, most people are like most people, and there are, even today in 2009, any number of young women who would much like you. (But don't scare the fish away!)

(c) take it easy, don't be so concentrated on one girl that you scare her away; better yet, don't focus on any ONE girl at all. That way, a rejection or any kind of no, won't hurt you and you haven't really put much emotional investment in it to lose. Keep a critical emotional distance. . . this keeps you from looking goofy moon-struck/psychotic loner-loser and also, more importantly, gives you the freedom to interact effectively with the gal.

(d) like it or not, learn what Romance takes, be it wine and candles, a good haircut, nice shoes, a willingness to open doors, a clean shirt and good table manners. Get buff. At your age, appearances matter! (As you get older, people are more willing to look beyond the externals).

(e) It would be nice if young women realized how difficult this all is for young men, but they don't.

(f) Last word: sex is overrated (did you ever hear that Red Hot Chili Peppers song?), and I think a teen boy's hormones are his worst enemy in dealing with girls. Better to focus on whether you like being around her rather than being WITH her. This approach will also keep you more cool around the girl.

 

[super_forehand]

sex is overrated

really? is there anything better than having great sex with someone you really like? I think not.

 

[pabletion]

girls dig the bad guy.........................

or the guy whose not single.... so, get a girlfriend, and other girls will be all over you
life's ironic

aint it a beeeatch?

 

[Bad Dog]

Up against a wall

OP: For most part the females aren't exactly looking at nice as a score maker. Nice?yes, sure the guy's got to be "nice", but they just want nice enough; anything in excess doesn't score any extra points. In fact, I think it even loses points.

Fun is way more important.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. Alafter’s correct response is confirmed by a specific quote buried in the middle of a recent long-winded but well-researched New York Times article, titled What Do Women Want? [Discovering What Ignites Female Desire]:

“What women want is a real dilemma,” […] “Women want to be thrown up against a wall but not truly endangered. Women want a caveman and caring.”

Note that the caveman is first.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/magazine/25desire-t.html?em

 

[Ballinbob]

wow, now I'm even more confused than ever:?

So what I got this from all-
1.I'm still young and shouldn't rush anything
2. Take it easy on the compliments
3. Be myself
4. Just be patient and wait for something to happen
5. Don't appear to needy/clingy
6. Be more confident of myself
7. Make sure people see me the same way I see myself

Is this pretty accurate on what I should do...? By the way, does life "calm down" when you get older? Right now everything is hectic and there's so much going on.

And are the social cliques as bad in college as they are in highschool? It's almost like a job to keep yourself at the top of your social class. I don't know..Highschool is really fun but emotionally its pretty hard. Parents,girls,friends,social cliques ect ect ect ect. Ever since 13 I started internalizing everything and I never showed what I was feeling. I'm still the same way..Its nearly impossible to tell what i'm feeling/thinking. I end up talking to you guys about things and my best friend who listens to me

I could write forever, but there's too many things going through my head. I don't understand myself, I don't know why I act the way I do and why I feel like this. I guess over the internet some people may view me as freak lol Oh well, maybe by 18 i'll turn "normal"

And Im not even sure why I made this thread. I just made it without thinking..

I guess I'll just have to be patient and have confidence in myself and hopefully something will happen.




Oh and thanks for your help everyone

 

[dennis10is]

This makes me so mad. I'm probably one of the nicest kids in my grade and am liked by everyone. I'm really popular with the guys, and I've started talking to girls alot (casual talk)

However, when it comes to relationships, my friends who are cocky,rude, and stupid end up getting all the girls. I'm just amazed. These guys wont treat the girl all that great and aren't very romantic or anything. So while my friends are out hanging out with their girlfriends, I'm sitting at home wondering what am I doing wrong.

I mean, I'm:
-Descent looking
-pretty popular
-Really nice
-Athletic
-Smart
-Compliment girls alot

I just feel like a looser. I have so many things that my friends don't have, but they're the ones who are going to the dances with dates. My friends have often told me that girls talk about me alot but say i'm "too nice to date"????!!!! Wtf is that supposed to mean?

What do I do? Do I have to change the way I act or what?

I'm so confused:?

You sound like a decent, normal kid based on your postings here.

So, here goes the tough medicine.

1: Nice guys do indeed get the girls, they get the good ones. Nice goes with nice in the end.

2: The reasons why you do not have a girlfriend is not because you are nice. We don't know you in person so can't speculate.

3: Spend less time on the internet asking why and more time in the real world, where the girls are. This forum is populated mainly by adult males, and a few adult females, very few teen female.

 

[Fatmike]

girls like bad boys

 

[SirBlend12]

Bob, for your OP, the average teenager has the social intellect, tact, and maturity of a rock. What you should focus on is finding a girl somewhat like yourself, but with the unalike being things that compliment your personality i.e. you seem to be a bit "stressy", find a girl who can seem to brush things off better, who could... "keep YOUR head together".

Don't sweat the fact that you feel out of place: you are. You've made it clear in several threads of this sort that you don't possess the "average teenage being". You posts, and the ideas within them, show a general maturity beyond your age and an understanding of life much the same. USE THIS IN A GOOD WAY! ITS A GOOD THING!

As for being a nice guy, it doesn't mean don't be confident or risky. You understand the idea of how to treat a woman and seem to be picking up on the smaller nuances of how to handle a relationship. I think what I'm picking up is that you're over-thinking all of this. Have the gourds to walk up to a girl and ask her out for coffee, dinner, movie, etc. To build up to doing that, go into conversation with your personality right up front... be fun, be relaxed, don't be afraid to get flirty and just let it flow.

Oh, the post above about college, it's not really like high school at all... then again, it would depend on where you go. If you want more people like yourself, I'd say your best bet is to aim for smaller private schools. They draw more of the crowd I think you'd like to be around. Forget high school, too... the rest of the time you're there, do what you want. You're 15, right? So, sophomore? If so, you are the point where it really doesn't matter what any of those people think. Just be you, do what you do.

Stay chill and good luck.

 

[super_forehand]

So what I got this from all-
1.I'm still young and shouldn't rush anything
2. Take it easy on the compliments
3. Be myself
4. Just be patient and wait for something to happen
5. Don't appear to needy/clingy
6. Be more confident of myself
7. Make sure people see me the same way I see myself

1. youre not thaaat young anymore
2. yea
3. duh
4. if you do that, heres whats gonna happen: nothing.
5. i would agree, but be careful
6. i would say knowing who you are, what you do and what youre capable of, your strenghs, weaknesses and limitations is enough, then learn how to use that whole combo. confidence comes naturally, if you force it, girls see it right away as trying to hard or cocky.
7. yea, people dont know what you do or what you think, again, just let it come out naturally or you'll turn into that guy thats 'done everything', the famous 1 upper.

Is this pretty accurate on what I should do...? By the way, does life "calm down" when you get older? Right now everything is hectic and there's so much going on.

It gets worse. More responsability, more things to do and worry about, time goes by faster, etc. if you think its hectic now, start preparing for a snowball effect kinda thing. I find that those who do better in college arent necessarily the smartest ones, but the ones who can organize, plan and execute their agendas with success.

And are the social cliques as bad in college as they are in highschool? It's almost like a job to keep yourself at the top of your social class. I don't know..Highschool is really fun but emotionally its pretty hard. Parents,girls,friends,social cliques ect ect ect ect. Ever since 13 I started internalizing everything and I never showed what I was feeling. I'm still the same way..Its nearly impossible to tell what i'm feeling/thinking. I end up talking to you guys about things and my best friend who listens to me

Bolded part - college is way better. Most people have matured enough to realize that high school crap is, well, crap. But it can still go on in frats/sororities, which is one of the 1,000,000,000 reasons to not join one (and dont go thikning im hating on them, there are good ones, like a chem frat, or business frat, that actually have a goal besides drinking, getting women etc)

Non bolded part - there you go, being mr nice guy, pouring emotion into everything. You need to toughen up a bit, stop thinking things over a million times like girls do and think more logically, or your gonna turn gay or something.

good luck

 

[SirBlend12]

1. youre not thaaat young anymore
2. yea
3. duh
4. if you do that, heres whats gonna happen: nothing.
5. i would agree, but be careful
6. i would say knowing who you are, what you do and what youre capable of, your strenghs, weaknesses and limitations is enough, then learn how to use that whole combo. confidence comes naturally, if you force it, girls see it right away as trying to hard or cocky.
7. yea, people dont know what you do or what you think, again, just let it come out naturally or you'll turn into that guy thats 'done everything', the famous 1 upper.



It gets worse. More responsability, more things to do and worry about, time goes by faster, etc. if you think its hectic now, start preparing for a snowball effect kinda thing. I find that those who do better in college arent necessarily the smartest ones, but the ones who can organize, plan and execute their agendas with success.



Bolded part - college is way better. Most people have matured enough to realize that high school crap is, well, crap. But it can still go on in frats/sororities, which is one of the 1,000,000,000 reasons to not join one (and dont go thikning im hating on them, there are good ones, like a chem frat, or business frat, that actually have a goal besides drinking, getting women etc)

Non bolded part - there you go, being mr nice guy, pouring emotion into everything. You need to toughen up a bit, stop thinking things over a million times like girls do and think more logically, or your gonna turn gay or something.

good luck

This is pretty true overall, but I gotta say the "life after high school" getting worse isn't really true. Sure, you may have more responsibility, but it's mostly worthwhile. What's the point of living if you have nothing to live for?

 

[spot]

Girls don't go out with nice guys. If nice is your #1 quality that means you are boring as hell. Girls will go out with interesting guys who are nice. Smart guys who are nice. Funny guys who are nice. On and on. But being nice isn't anything on its own- thats just basic stuff. So work on being a guy that girls want to date. Get in shape. Stay active. Do some reading on places other than tennis forums. Then just be active and do activities that women like as well.

And don't be afraid to ask a girl out, just don't be a ****** about it. If you are having a fun conversation then women are pretty inclined to say yes as long as you don't give them a reason to say no. For the most part "nice guys" don't get dates because they aren't out there talking to enough women and aren't asking enough women out.

 

[vandre]

message from the future...

hi op!

you don't know me but i used to be you. see, i was all nice to the ladies and everything but it never seemed to get me any dates.

well, after a while i went off to college and lost track of those girls that wouldn't go out with me and found there were some girls who actually would! skip ahead, skip ahead to today where i am happily married to one of the beautiful, intelligent women i dated in college (who happens to be a doctor ). now i laugh everytime i get a reunion invitation or one of those girls asks "what are you doing now?" i'm soo glad i'm far too mature to say, "i want to thank you for blowing me off because i went on to marry an amazing woman i love deeply!!!" :twisted: maybe i'm not that mature, but you get my point. that point is things may suck now, but just wait.....

sincerely,

you from the future! :twisted:

 

[SFrazeur]

really? is there anything better than having great sex with someone you really like? I think not.

Setting your standards a bit low don't you think?

Keep in mind that sex takes up only a small, albeit very important part of life and relationship. If a person gets married in their 20s, 30s that's possibly 50+ years of marriage. Consider sex in that context, it changes it.

-SF

 

[JohnnyCracker]

Try this. Ask the ugliest girl in school out. If she say no, you're doomed. lol

 

[FloridaAG]

I cannot go through this whole thread - in my experience, the bottom line is at your age - the Jerky guys are more likely to be forward and ask girls out. Nice guys at that age generally are too passive, scared of rejection, and not forward. They wait for the right moment, hope the girl makes the advance etc. Be agressive, don't be scared of rejection - that is the solution.

 

[xtremerunnerars]

Here's a thought:

you feel like you've gotten all of your character ducks in a row: nice, smart, kind, caring, etc. You're wondering why they aren't flocking to you?


Because it seems like you EXPECT them to just because you have all of those things. It's like using natural gut, wearing barricades, using a PS85, carrying a huge bag, wearing a backwards hat, and polos when you play tennis. If you're good enough to warrant all of that stuff, great! If not, you'll just be a poser.

Sfrazeur's posts are your best bet. Build solid relationships with a few girls that you think are worth spending time with. NOTHING ROMANTIC! After a while just say that you guys never really hang out and try things like, "So when should I pick you up for (movie name)?" That kind of confident but incredibly obvious joking arrogance shows them that you care about them and want to spend time with them, but it's also an excuse and a better way of asking about going on one of those "dates" you seem to seek.

There's a big difference between trying to hang out with a girl because you want to and because you think it makes you cool. Most of my best friends and people I spend time with the most are girls. If you brag about spending time with someone, everyone will find out and you'll be a jerk. Keep quiet about it and enjoy the experiences.

 

[Steady Eddy]

Some guys look in the wrong places for girls. For example, say a guy owns his own business, is very successful and is short. To the women who work for him, he's a catch. They'd be very excited if he asked them out. Instead, say he goes to a singles bar, there he's just gonna be some short guy. Now he even starts to look like a loser being seen striking out with girls.

Maybe you're in high school, then maybe you'd be better off mixing with people from different schools. High school ends soon, so don't worry about that too much. Avoid the bar scene, for some people, that's the only place they look for others. Big mistake. Get involved in something where your best qualities reveal themselves, so a girl will be interested in you before you even ask her out. Since the activity will have a purpose besides meeting people, you won't look desperate either. Don't look that way. It's like tennis, be patient, wait for a situation that feels right. Don't try to force stuff, like going up to a girl you don't even know and asking her out. That might work, but I'm saying, if it feels wrong and it's not who you are, then stay away from it. Life will feel much more pleasant this way.

 

[spot]

to the OP- when is the last time you asked a girl out and she said no?

 

[super_forehand]

Some guys look in the wrong places for girls. For example, say a guy owns his own business, is very successful and is short. To the women who work for him, he's a catch. They'd be very excited if he asked them out. Instead, say he goes to a singles bar, there he's just gonna be some short guy. Now he even starts to look like a loser being seen striking out with girls.

Maybe you're in high school, then maybe you'd be better off mixing with people from different schools. High school ends soon, so don't worry about that too much. Avoid the bar scene, for some people, that's the only place they look for others. Big mistake. Get involved in something where your best qualities reveal themselves, so a girl will be interested in you before you even ask her out. Since the activity will have a purpose besides meeting people, you won't look desperate either. Don't look that way. It's like tennis, be patient, wait for a situation that feels right. Don't try to force stuff, like going up to a girl you don't even know and asking her out. That might work, but I'm saying, if it feels wrong and it's not who you are, then stay away from it. Life will feel much more pleasant this way.

Wow, this post is so spot on it's scary. you must be a generation past mine because you have a very good insight that most people my age dont.

That or you are an amazing picker upper of woman.

 

[zacinnc78]

just throwing in my 2 cents,if youre a guy think back to any time when u had a girl that was waaaaaay into you ,so much that it was too much .....maybe you kinda liked her at first but this clingyness turned you off ,maybe even permanently-same thing probably happens to girls ,not saying you are clingy but the "too nice " type can become this way sometimes

other people have made alot of good comments on this situation too ,i dont think its as much as the jerks vs. nice guys as much as its this:most people are more attracted to what they cannot have or may be harder to get ...sux dont it lol

youve probably had "chances " with other ,less-appealing girls who were the "nice"type but felt more attracted to the "jerk"women type lol

 

[Ballinbob]

to the OP- when is the last time you asked a girl out and she said no?

A month ago.

And the reason why I'm asking this here ie because I've gotten to know everyone here pretty well and I know I'll get better advice here than most other places. If I went to some random teen forum it wouldnt be the same for they wont know me like you do.

I descided to just go with the flow but I'll definitley keep the stuff you said in mind.

You won't see another thread about girls from me until I get a girl's number/ask her out. It would be awesome if you guys could guide me through my first date when that time comes. I'll be asking my friends for advice as well, but this board has been extremely helpful when it comes to this stuff, so I want your input. I really appreciate the help/advice I get you guys here both on tennis and real life stuff.

So anyway, until then, you wont hear a peep out of me

Later
Carpet boy

edit-lol, almost 1000 views in 24 hours. Looks like im not the only one with girl trouble haha

 

[RoddickAce]

wow, now I'm even more confused than ever:?

Is this pretty accurate on what I should do...? By the way, does life "calm down" when you get older? Right now everything is hectic and there's so much going on.

And are the social cliques as bad in college as they are in highschool? It's almost like a job to keep yourself at the top of your social class.

Unfortunately, life gets more and more hectic in terms of obligations. As you grow older, you get more responsibilities. You think of things in more broader ways. Things you maybe once were concerned about in childhood will become simple things in the future, instead you will get new concerns, which will carry more and more weight and impact. Then as you get to the stage when you have a relatively stable and high-paid long-term job, you will either:
a)work very hard, keep your job and not have a lot of free time
b)constantly innovate, get paid tons of money and have tons of free time
c)be lazy or stop innovating, and get fired
And then when you retire, you start to have less and less obligations again.

As for social status, pretty much nobody cares about that in university. Everybody is too busy studying to care. And if you study a lot, you probably won't see the same people over and over again, you'll meet new people pretty much every week.

 

[Pr0DiGy]

Heh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrnK-qPARYI&feature=PlayList&p=30553DA912FF3742&index=0&playnext=1

kind of corny, made by a bunch of Asian guys. A lot of it you probably won't get if you don't know the stereotypes of Asians, but if you're bored give it a look.

 

[lovecr717]

This makes me so mad. I'm probably one of the nicest kids in my grade and am liked by everyone. I'm really popular with the guys, and I've started talking to girls alot (casual talk)

However, when it comes to relationships, my friends who are cocky,rude, and stupid end up getting all the girls. I'm just amazed. These guys wont treat the girl all that great and aren't very romantic or anything. So while my friends are out hanging out with their girlfriends, I'm sitting at home wondering what am I doing wrong.

I mean, I'm:
-Descent looking
-pretty popular
-Really nice
-Athletic
-Smart
-Compliment girls alot

I just feel like a looser. I have so many things that my friends don't have, but they're the ones who are going to the dances with dates. My friends have often told me that girls talk about me alot but say i'm "too nice to date"????!!!! Wtf is that supposed to mean?

What do I do? Do I have to change the way I act or what?

I'm so confused:?

I think an attractive guy will not ask question like these as he has confidence in himself.

 

[Ballinbob]

I think an attractive guy will not ask question like these as he has confidence in himself.

And I agree with you, I'm definitley a little insecure. Thought I'd throw out the question anyway though. This thread has gotten 1000 views in 24 hours, so i'm not the only one like this. Hopefully others will have benefited from this as well

And RoddickAce, thanks for your reply. Cleared alot of things up, and you answered alot of questions. Appreciate it

 

[a_2c+]

hey you.

i was in your shoes LAST year.

nowadays, i just flirt around. (sometimes intuitively, without any apparent reason. strange. )

DO be fun, and sometimes, a bit of a dick (but in a level that girls will dig.) but, DO still possess your soft/nice side.

think of this: you are a ball of chocolate, with filling.. (i.e. chocolate u find in a see's candy box. Be bold looking. i think. look seducing. (personalty and fun-wise.) but inside, still do possess the natural/nice touch.

i think (it would matter less in the future...dress nicely but with a touch of naturality.)

most of all, be fun.

the end.

i am sorry if my advice seemed a little confusing.

the end.

shoo.

focus on academics. and be a superstar @ tennis! (people wioll love that, lol.)

shoo.

be fun.

the end.

-a_2c+

 

[dave333]

Here is a very effective plan to get girls at say, a party.

First, make fun of her lightly. Tease her, be sarcastic, make her laugh, make others laugh, etc. You know, that sort of thing.

Second, act really nice. Be a really nice guy to get closer to her, ask her questions (any kinds of questions) and just have her talk. Women enjoy talking, its a fact of life. And simply listen.

Third, ask her for lunch sometime.

Pretty effective, its the first step that will be difficult for you. It was for me too, but then eventually, you will be able to figure out your way to lightly tease. My way is act very sarcastic, which a lot of girls love.

 

[Lakoste]

Alright, you claim to be nice, funny, yada yada yada. You got the personality already... so you wonder why girls aren't smothering your pants?

Simple, you're ugly and/or have bad style.

/thread

 

[Ballinbob]

hey you.

i was in your shoes LAST year.....

most of all, be fun.

the end.
-a_2c+

Didn't understand a word of what you just said. Thanks for trying though..

Here is a very effective plan to get girls at say, a party.

First, make fun of her lightly. Tease her, be sarcastic, make her laugh, make others laugh, etc. You know, that sort of thing.

Second, act really nice. Be a really nice guy to get closer to her, ask her questions (any kinds of questions) and just have her talk. Women enjoy talking, its a fact of life. And simply listen.

Third, ask her for lunch sometime.

Pretty effective, its the first step that will be difficult for you. It was for me too, but then eventually, you will be able to figure out your way to lightly tease. My way is act very sarcastic, which a lot of girls love.

I actually found this to be one of the more helpful posts in this thread. I like how easy you make it sound. Your right though, it's not that hard, but we make it hard on ourselves. I also liked the easy 1-2-3 step thing, very easy to follow

Alright, you claim to be nice, funny, yada yada yada. You got the personality already... so you wonder why girls aren't smothering your pants?

Simple, you're ugly and/or have bad style.

/thread

Not sure if your really trying to help or if your just being a dumbas. Look at the other posts and look at your. See a difference?

I guess it could be bad style though:?

 

[ZoomUltraflight]

Lakoste is just being sarcastic...

I'm kinda in the same situation as you, however with my experiences as of lately, I've managed to get the girls I want, but I end up getting screwed over in the end by the ones I trusted. I was never an ass or caused them any problems (they would concur) but they just bail or do something immature. I can't control how they act and am still confused to this day. My most recent one has stopped speaking to me, yet she admits she was wrong and should apologize, but then disappears.

Sometimes you have to see who you really wanna be. I hate the fact I get screwed over because I don't want to be an *******, but I would much rather live me life knowing I've done the right thing and they will ultimately see that they can't treat people in their lives like crap---however it must be pointed out...

More in-line with this thread, you have to be comfortable and confident with who you are. Take chances. If they don't dig you for you, why would you want to engage in something fake? Be more outgoing, basically bring some attention to yourself (not too much, especially not a lot of negativity) and start having people notice that you aren't going to blend in and say nothing.

 

[Lakoste]

Lakoste is just being sarcastic...

Ummm, no.

Not sure if your really trying to help or if your just being a dumbas. Look at the other posts and look at your. See a difference?

The other posts in this thread are jokes, keep following their advice and let me know how it goes . The whole "girls aren't into nice guys" is also a joke. Chicks, especially in high school, are superficial. Want to argue that point with me? It isn't a deal breaker if you are unfortunate looking, but you have to be aware of it. Start dressing nicer and stop putting the ***** on a pedestal are a few good beginning steps to getting somewhere with the ladies.

Here is something to chew on...

Attractive guy that is nice - Is he single?
Attractive guy that is a jerk - Is he single?
Attractive guy that has the personality of a wall - Is he single?
You - Single?

 

[Alafter]

OP, I forgot to mention this.

You can't change who you are and the way you behave. You can't just change to behave in accordance with the suggestions in this thread. It will fail--you can't act out of line with your true nature continuously.

This change will come on its own. You'll be transformed by your continuous accumulation of experience in life. Maybe you WILL learn to be a little more playful, more smooth, play the bad guy, etc., but it won't be by an overnight forced effort or conscious effort. It will come naturally.

That is to say, the only thing I concur to take away from this thread is keep trying. God knows when a girl will actually like you. But no trying, no girls. Good luck!

Trust your judgment of what you think the girl thinks of you. But do remember if one likes you, they WILL find time for you, or if they arent free they will make sure you know when they can next spend time with you.

 

[montx]

I totally understand what you are saying. Although I am 36 and live with my mom who is 80, when I was young and growing up, it just seemed like some guyz have 'it', they behave like jerks, and it rains for them.

I don't want to be a Jerk, but I don't want to stretch either to be a saint.

In the end, if it is meant to be, something will come along, if not if you have freedom to try to make something work, its a good thing too.

You got to try for yourself when you like someone, nobody is going to do any working out of your problems for you. They will never ask a girl out for you.

So you got to get into the zone and tell yourself, hey I like this girl, I want to give it a shot. You gotta calm yourself way way down and just say something nice to her and see how the conversation goes.

After the conversation, you'll have a pretty good idea of how you guyz clicked or not.

If you get shot down, be a man. .

 

[princess bossass]

Self-pity combined with a sense of entitlement + palpable bitterness are always hot qualities in a man.

 

[montx]

hehehe .

 

[montx]

One other thing is, I think its cool now to be by myself.

I have always wanted a partner, just not at the expense I been put through, I hope it works out for you.

I wouldn't care at this point if all the women in the world fell in love with me, I'd just be doing my own thing for as long as I can.

 

[Alafter]

One other thing is, I think its cool now to be by myself.

I have always wanted a partner, just not at the expense I been put through, I hope it works out for you.

I wouldn't care at this point if all the women in the world fell in love with me, I'd just be doing my own thing for as long as I can.

He has changed over time naturally. So will you OP.

 

[Alafter]

Self-pity combined with a sense of entitlement + palpable bitterness are always hot qualities in a man.

Is that what I've been doing wrong all these years?

 

[CanadianChic]

Self-pity combined with a sense of entitlement + palpable bitterness are always hot qualities in a man.

Thanks PB! 'Tis the funny of my day!

 

[princess bossass]

Thanks PB! 'Tis the funny of my day!

:::Bows:::

At your service, my darling.

 

[taz23]

Ok i didn't read this whole thread and I'm sure there are is some really good advice in here, but I'll chime in with my two cents. Hopefully it helps.

First things first. There is no need for you to be cocky/a jerk/rude. The real issue here is that people who are jerks and or are cocky possess an underlying trait which is confidence. That's what you want to work on. Some people are more confident that others, but everyone can improve their level of confidence to a certain extent. It takes practice just like anything, but it is well worth it, not only in your romantic life, but in your life in general.

Now in my opinion confidence has to be natural. Look up quiet confidence, and by that I mean, you can be confident and still keep it subtle. If u have to show that you are confident that means you aren't there yet.(hope that made sense)

Another big thing since you are in HS is appearance. My best advice is wear clothes that fit properly, and try to pick clothes that reflect your sense of style because you'll be able to pull them off more naturally.

Stop giving out free compliments. When you do that girls think that you are looking for approval or acceptance from them. You are there to establish that you don't need their approval, and if anything you may even appear needy if you over compliment.

Do your homework on a girl. I'm not saying research a girl's background. You could simply use a casual conversation, girls love talking about themselves. Find out what activities she likes, what types of movies or cuisine. Then when you want to ask them out you already know how to entice them.

Finally, you are young but the earlier you realize this the better. Dating is a numbers game, and you will get rejected ALOT. Get used to, and don't take it personally. Look at it this way, every girl you don't ask out because you are afraid of rejection, you have 0 chance of dating(can't say yes if they are never asked). Now if you do ask, even if you only have a 5% chance of saying yes, its better than having no chance by not asking. Also so long as you are single, ask lots and lots of girls on dates. This has two benefits: A) it swings the odds in your favor (more girls asked = higher potential number of yeses) B) If nothing else you'd gain experience in how to ask, and what you should and shouldn't do. Look at it as practice.

Anyway hopefully you find part of this helpful, and don't sweat it, the more relaxed you are the easier things will come.

 

[Kobble]

Alright, you claim to be nice, funny, yada yada yada. You got the personality already... so you wonder why girls aren't smothering your pants?

Simple, you're ugly and/or have bad style.

/thread

Nah. I knew a guy who was never close to being a male model, and dressed like a homeless rockstar. He could get most girls he wanted, and had to fight them off. What did he have? He was witty, brave, athletic, sought out adventure, self deprecating at times, didn't take himself too seriosuly, and truly caring. He said things to girls that I bet most guys any age do not have the balls to do. He was an eccentric, and anything but the normal chick magnet. Trust me, you don't have to look like Tommy Haas to get a lot of action.

 

[pushing_wins]

really? is there anything better than having great sex with someone you really like? I think not.

u think about how great the sex was after you have had sex?

i m thinking how do i roll her off my arm so i can get the fcuk out

 

[TennisandMusic]

"Nice guy" is usually a euphemism for wuss. Girl's don't want a wuss.