Random thread of good jokes, aggie jokes, yo mama jokes, or what have you..

Deleted member 743561 · Sep 15, 2017

NLBwell said:
They already did that. That's a Snuggle.

Guess they liked his idea.

Hope his estate got some royalties.

Deleted member 743561 · Sep 19, 2017

How does a physicist exercise?

By pumping ion.

stringertom · Sep 19, 2017

FedFosterWallace said:
How does a physicist exercise?

By pumping ion.

A poetic physicist goes one better...he pumps in iambic pentameter!

An architect does it by pumping ionic columns.

Deleted member 743561 · Sep 19, 2017

stringertom · Sep 19, 2017

FedFosterWallace said:
I've heard that (between swigs of HGH) Coric pumps Doric.

Ricardo Montalban used to pump rich Corinthian leather for the Chrysler Córdoba. Maybe to bulk up for his Klingon role in Star Trek, he switched to pumping Corinthian columns, no?

Deleted member 743561 · Sep 19, 2017

Sentinel · Oct 26, 2017

I was gonna make a sodium joke, but Na.

Ok I have a different one: 2 scientists walk into a bar.
One says, "I want H20."
The other says, "I want H20 too".
The second one dies.

Ok, here's a potassium joke. What, you don't want to hear it? K.

J011yroger · Oct 26, 2017

Sentinel said:
I was gonna make a sodium joke, but Na.

Ok I have a different one: 2 scientists walk into a bar.
One says, "I want H20."
The other says, "I want H20 too".
The second one dies.

Ok, here's a potassium joke. What, you don't want to hear it? K.

I was going to tell you a joke about noble gases but all the good ones Argon.

J

J011yroger · Oct 26, 2017

Argon walks into a bar and the bartender yells out "what are you doing in here, we don't serve elements, get out!"

Argon doesn't react.

J

sureshs · Oct 26, 2017

J011yroger said:
I was going to tell you a joke about noble gases but all the good ones Argon.

J

Are those noble gases coming out of Uranus?

stringertom · Oct 26, 2017

sureshs said:
Are those noble gases coming out of Uranus?

I am a dedicated follower of you and addicted to the compound gas from Uranus so much so that you call me, "Thane!"

donquijote · Oct 26, 2017

stringertom said:
I am a dedicated follower of you and addicted to the compound gas from Uranus so much so that you call me, "Thane!"

Sentinel · Oct 26, 2017

sureshs said:
Are those noble gases coming out of Uranus?

They've begun detecting your gravitational waves, I hear.

Bender · Oct 27, 2017

Sentinel said:
They've begun detecting your gravitational waves, I hear.

Deleted member 743561 · Dec 12, 2017

stringertom · Dec 13, 2017

FedFosterWallace said:
Q: What's the hot new mechanical drawing toy that's sweeping the nation?

A:

Wretch A Sketch

Ultra wide display??!

ojo rojo · Dec 13, 2017

Dumb it down if I may.

Yo mama so fat she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Yo mama so short she had to slam dunk her bus fare
Yo mama so old when she lifted her breast to wash, a pilgrim fell out.

stringertom · Dec 13, 2017

ojo rojo said:
Dumb it down if I may.

Yo mama so fat she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Yo mama so short she had to slam dunk her bus fare
Yo mama so old when she lifted her breast to wash, a pilgrim fell out.

Yo mama so old that Sacha Baron Cohen named her privates "Sleeve Of Wizard."

ojo rojo · Dec 13, 2017

stringertom said:
Yo mama so old that Sacha Baron Cohen named her privates "Sleeve Of Wizard."

Wonderful avatar.
I will never look at Javier Bardem the same way again.

jaggy · Dec 13, 2017

Grammar is importanter

stringertom · Dec 13, 2017

ojo rojo said:
Wonderful avatar.
I will never look at Javier Bardem the same way again.

Anton Chigureshs appreciates your appreciation.

Deleted member 743561 · Dec 13, 2017

Where are all the aggie jokes at? What has this thread become?

stringertom · Dec 13, 2017

FedFosterWallace said:
Where are all the aggie jokes at? What has this thread become?

If Jimbo Fisher doesn't deliver the Aggies a national chip or two very soon, his UUUGGGEEE contract will be the Aggie joke to end all jokes.

ojo rojo · Dec 13, 2017

FedFosterWallace said:
Where are all the aggie jokes at? What has this thread become?

stringertom said:
If Jimbo Fisher doesn't deliver the Aggies a national chip or two very soon, his UUUGGGEEE contract will be the Aggie joke to end all jokes.

Is an Aggie one what works in agriculture?
If so..

Why can't aggie farmers raise chickens?

They plant the eggs too deep.

stringertom · Dec 13, 2017

ojo rojo said:
Is an Aggie one what works in agriculture?
If so..

Why can't aggie farmers raise chickens?

They plant the eggs too deep.

An Aggie attends the Texas Agricultural & Mining University, once looked down upon by the highbrows at the University of Texas.

Deleted member 743561 · Dec 13, 2017

stringertom · Dec 13, 2017

FedFosterWallace said:
Now that Youthful Zebediah works the fruit of the land, might he be considered a sort of aggie?

Miner, Zed the Minor. That makes him an Aggie.

Q: What does the #4 player in the world do during the second week of slams?

A: Watches just like everyone else!

Hangman · Dec 13, 2017

Your mama so fat, when she jump, she gets stuck!

Your mama so fat, she bigger than outside.

Your mama so fat, when she get out of bed in the morning she get out on both sides.

NLBwell · Dec 13, 2017

stringertom said:
An Aggie attends the Texas Agricultural & Mining University, once looked down upon by the highbrows at the University of Texas.

and especially Rice University.

stringertom · Dec 13, 2017

NLBwell said:
and especially Rice University.

Even Baylor is higher up the ladder.

Harry_Wild · Dec 14, 2017

stringertom said:
Ricardo Montalban used to pump rich Corinthian leather for the Chrysler Córdoba. Maybe to bulk up for his Klingon role in Star Trek, he switched to pumping Corinthian columns, no?

Ricardo Montalban part was a genetically modified superhuman that had 10X strength of a regular human. The Hulk has 200X the strength of a average human, has a anger management problem and qualify to work as a barroom bouncer! Nobody will sucker punch the Hulk and live to let about it! LOL!

Harry_Wild · Dec 14, 2017

stringertom said:
Ricardo Montalban used to pump rich Corinthian leather for the Chrysler Córdoba. Maybe to bulk up for his Klingon role in Star Trek, he switched to pumping Corinthian columns, no?

Ricardo Montalban part was a genetically modified superhuman that had 10X strength of a regular human. The Hulk has 200X the strength of a average human, has a anger management problem and qualify to work as a barroom bouncer! Nobody will sucker punch the Hulk and live to let about it! LOL!

Harry_Wild · Dec 14, 2017

stringertom said:
Ricardo Montalban used to pump rich Corinthian leather for the Chrysler Córdoba. Maybe to bulk up for his Klingon role in Star Trek, he switched to pumping Corinthian columns, no?

Ricardo Montalban part was a genetically modified superhuman that had 10X strength of a regular human. The Hulk has 200X the strength of a average human, has a anger management problem and qualify to work as a barroom bouncer! Nobody will sucker punch the Hulk and live to let about it! LOL!

stringertom · Dec 14, 2017

Q: What did the Aggie say when he walked into the bar?

A: "Ouch!"

mikespinstowin · Dec 14, 2017

Your momma is so polite, she always says come again.

stringertom · Dec 15, 2017

An Aggie walks into a bar (Ouch!) and sees his wife making out with his boss. He pulls out a gun and shoots her. He then takes the gun and points it at his own temple. His boss starts cracking up. He yells at his boss, "Don't laugh! You're next!"

stringertom · Dec 15, 2017

Pardon my misogyny temporarily erupting but our server is definitely female...mood swings the past 24 hours are ridonculous.

#Xenfora

Vcore89 · Dec 17, 2017

Norm_Tweet_Cover.jpg.CROP.rectangle3-large.jpg

jaggy · Dec 18, 2017

jaggy · Dec 22, 2017

I thought my vasectomy would stop my wife getting pregnant but all it did was change the color of the baby

stringertom · Dec 23, 2017

jaggy said:
I thought my vasectomy would stop my wife getting pregnant but all it did was change the color of the baby

Has mrs jaggy been visiting "old friends" in San Poobiego???

jaggy · Dec 24, 2017

stringertom · Dec 24, 2017

jaggy said:

That's what they get for daring to invade the Suriyeti's private backyard.

MLRoy · Dec 26, 2017

"Yo mama SO fat, dat when she fall-in-love, she break it!"

Sentinel · Jan 7, 2018

@Mainad

ojo rojo · Jan 8, 2018

why can't you starve in the desert?
.
.
.
because of all of the sand which is there

stringertom · Jan 8, 2018

ojo rojo said:
why can't you starve in the desert?
.
.
.
because of all of the sand which is there

ojo rojo · Jan 8, 2018

stringertom said:

Good lord, I forgot how much Sam makes me laugh. Love that combo of anger/humour, never fails to tickle me. Thanks for the reminder.

Mainad · Jan 8, 2018

Sentinel said:
@Mainad

Was that you I spotted in the audience whooping and cheering louder than the rest?

Hangman · Jan 10, 2018

What does an A&M graduate say when he sees a UT graduate?
.
.
.
.
.
"Welcome, can I take your order please"

jaggy · Jan 16, 2018

Random thread of good jokes, aggie jokes, yo mama jokes, or what have you..

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