Regret over not skipping a grade?

Fandango · Jul 23, 2012

Hi, like the title states, I am having trouble getting over the fact that I never skipped a grade. I always was considered reasonably smart, picked things up fast, and earned straight As (except for a D in AP macroeconomics), which hurts me to this day. I don't know if I ever thought about skipping grades, but when I heard about a kid who was 14 and already into his sophomore year of college, it kind of hurt me.

I always took comfort in knowing that I always had the opportunity to do things in the past when the window is closed in the present. For instance, rather than filling myself with compunction and sadness for not skipping a grade or two, realizing that I had the opportunity to do it in the past helps me sorta deal with it. I feel like its a heck of a coping mechanism. Just telling myself, "you had it in the past." Is that weird in a way?

Also, no some of the brightest minds in history didn't skip grades- Einstein, Roosevelt, hell, even Federer. And I remind myself of this fact when I feel really down on myself.

I want to have this belief that anything is possible and be happy but it sometimes seems naive. I'm sorta in a rough state of mind, trying to get this grade skipping thing out of my head. If anyone can help me that would be great.

Steady Eddy · Jul 23, 2012

The unabomber skipped grades. Would you want to trade places with him?

If you skipped grades, you'd be smaller than most of your peers, and it would have been tough to do well in sports and even socialize.

Hope that helps.

LeeD · Jul 23, 2012

SteadyEddy's post hit home for me.
I skipped 1st grade, then 3rd grade. I wasn't smart, my older sis and bro were, and teacher's and counselors thought I'd follow in their footsteps.
Ended up, I was the smallest kid in my class (over 150 in grade school), third smallest in junior high (more kids there), but only bottom 20 in high school.
But bottom 20 out of 600 students in my class make for tough football and basketball tryouts. Played all 3 years football in fall, basketball in spring, for LincolnHigh in SF. Not what I'd recommend again.
And being the single YOUNGEST thru grade school, junior high, and high school is NOT recommended if you're a guy playing varsity sports.

Ronaldo · Jul 23, 2012

40 yrs after grade school and starting school at 4 yrs old, realize how immature I was compared to my peers. Even in HS. Thank God

LeeD · Jul 23, 2012

Tough to get the hottie in high school being immature, tiny, AND the youngest in class.

Ronaldo · Jul 23, 2012

LeeD said:
Tough to get the hottie in high school being immature, tiny, AND the youngest in class.

Thank God again

The Wreck · Jul 23, 2012

It's not that great.

I never skipped a grade, per se. But in elementary school I always went to a class in the next grade up for math. Was basically one year ahead in middle school too. Didn't really effect me much, and don't think I really gained from it.

I also started school earlier than most. Was only 4 when I started kindergarten. Being younger and smaller may have been a small disadvantage, but I played tennis, so that wasn't an issue. I didn't hit my real major growth spurt until the end of high school though, and I didn't crack 6 foot until I was in college (6'3"ish now). I also didn't start "filling out" until this year (20 years old). I do wonder what could have been had I been more physically mature in high school.

At the end of the day, no one will care if you skipped a grade. I'll be graduating with a master's degree by the time I'm 21. It won't be that special.

maverick66 · Jul 23, 2012

LeeD said:
Tough to get the hottie in high school being immature, tiny, AND the youngest in class.

Didnt the little kid in Revenge of the Nerds get a little action?

I vaguely remember him with an Omega Moo

veritech · Jul 23, 2012

if i skipped a grade in elementary/middle school i would not have my best friends today. wouldn't have had it differently.

TennisNinja · Jul 23, 2012

I kind of wish I was held back a year. I'm on the young end of my grade and it sucks being the last to turn 16, then 18, then soon 21.

JohnnyCracker · Jul 23, 2012

Don't be in such a hurry to get to adulthood.(You'll get there soon enough)
Slow down and enjoy your youth. (because once it's gone, it's gone FOREVER)

maverick66 · Jul 23, 2012

I wish i could go back now. I would totally dominate at four square these days.

LuckyR · Jul 24, 2012

Fandango said:
Hi, like the title states, I am having trouble getting over the fact that I never skipped a grade. I always was considered reasonably smart, picked things up fast, and earned straight As (except for a D in AP macroeconomics), which hurts me to this day. I don't know if I ever thought about skipping grades, but when I heard about a kid who was 14 and already into his sophomore year of college, it kind of hurt me.

I always took comfort in knowing that I always had the opportunity to do things in the past when the window is closed in the present. For instance, rather than filling myself with compunction and sadness for not skipping a grade or two, realizing that I had the opportunity to do it in the past helps me sorta deal with it. I feel like its a heck of a coping mechanism. Just telling myself, "you had it in the past." Is that weird in a way?

Also, no some of the brightest minds in history didn't skip grades- Einstein, Roosevelt, hell, even Federer. And I remind myself of this fact when I feel really down on myself.

I want to have this belief that anything is possible and be happy but it sometimes seems naive. I'm sorta in a rough state of mind, trying to get this grade skipping thing out of my head. If anyone can help me that would be great.

You are out of step. The current trend is to be held back a grade so you will be more mature and physically able to excel at sports.

I am having trouble coming up with something less important to worry about...

Polaris · Jul 24, 2012

Fandango said:
Hi, like the title states, I am having trouble getting over the fact that I never skipped a grade. I always was considered reasonably smart, picked things up fast, and earned straight As (except for a D in AP macroeconomics), which hurts me to this day. I don't know if I ever thought about skipping grades, but when I heard about a kid who was 14 and already into his sophomore year of college, it kind of hurt me.

I always took comfort in knowing that I always had the opportunity to do things in the past when the window is closed in the present. For instance, rather than filling myself with compunction and sadness for not skipping a grade or two, realizing that I had the opportunity to do it in the past helps me sorta deal with it. I feel like its a heck of a coping mechanism. Just telling myself, "you had it in the past." Is that weird in a way?

Also, no some of the brightest minds in history didn't skip grades- Einstein, Roosevelt, hell, even Federer. And I remind myself of this fact when I feel really down on myself.

I want to have this belief that anything is possible and be happy but it sometimes seems naive. I'm sorta in a rough state of mind, trying to get this grade skipping thing out of my head. If anyone can help me that would be great.

Don't worry about it. See it this way, almost everyone of us will live to be 80 or more, so in the larger scheme of things, a couple years more or less doesn't matter at all. I guess it is more important to be fulfilled, healthy and happy in our lives rather than worrying about what might have been.

hollywood9826 · Jul 24, 2012

maverick66 said:
Didnt the little kid in Revenge of the Nerds get a little action?

I vaguely remember him with an Omega Moo

Are you talking about Wormser? He was only 12 in the first movie but I think he did score.

LuckyR said:
You are out of step. The current trend is to be held back a grade so you will be more mature and physically able to excel at sports.

I am having trouble coming up with something less important to worry about...

The kids in my chool who were held back got all the chics. Thats way more important than getting a degree at 18.

jmverdugo · Jul 24, 2012

I kind of like skipped a year, started school a year younger, I was always the smallest in my classroom (but I was even smaller than most people of my same age so...) and usually the younger too. I do not think it affected me in anyway.

I would tell you this, by that time, it was probably not to you to decide whether to do it or not, so do not feel bad for it, think that everything that you have been through made you the person you are right now. You did not lose any opportunity because of it, neither wasted time, things just happended they way they happended. I have the feeling that maybe you are not happy with where you are right now in life? well if this is the case, there is nothing you can do to change your past in order to make your present situation better, you can only change what you are doing today and work on a better tomorrow. my 2 centavos.

r2473 · Jul 24, 2012

i skipped class often enough that it probably equated to skipping a few grades.

WildVolley · Jul 24, 2012

You should have skipped more grades!

I graduated from high school my Junior year, and don't regret it one bit - I only enjoyed the sports, the rest was incredibly boring. College was a lot more fun and less like being incarcerated than High School.

Today, the hot thing is to delay the kids a year so they'll be the larger/older kids in class. However, once everyone does this, like the arms-race, the advantage will be lost. It really is sort of sad to see an 18 or 19-year old guy still in high school being treated like a little kid.

If you want your son to get girls, getting a "game" coach makes more sense than hanging around high school and wasting your time for another year.

West Coast Ace · Jul 24, 2012

OP, what's the rush to join the 'real world'? Being a kid - as long as you're not in an abusive home and mom or dad is pulling in a decent amount of money - is a pretty cool gig.

I remember someone in college whining about one class that was only offered at 8AM. The prof, usually a cool and mellow guy, ripped him and yelled 'the real world is one big 8 o'clock class!'

If you want to get bent about something important, go for something good like 'why didn't my dad make me practice my backhand 8 hrs a day?'

user92626 · Jul 24, 2012

I completed HS in 3 years, due to someone else's idiocy. I had to go to so many night time and summer classes in addition to ESL classes!

stapletonj · Jul 27, 2012

Actually, I'm the experiment.

My brother (who also plays tennis) did not skip grades
I did.
We both became lawyers. We are partners.
Not really that much difference.
Except that I am a little better looking, of course.

diredesire · Jul 27, 2012

Fandango said:
Hi, like the title states, I am having trouble getting over the fact that I never skipped a grade. I always was considered reasonably smart, picked things up fast, and earned straight As (except for a D in AP macroeconomics), which hurts me to this day. I don't know if I ever thought about skipping grades, but when I heard about a kid who was 14 and already into his sophomore year of college, it kind of hurt me.

I always took comfort in knowing that I always had the opportunity to do things in the past when the window is closed in the present. For instance, rather than filling myself with compunction and sadness for not skipping a grade or two, realizing that I had the opportunity to do it in the past helps me sorta deal with it. I feel like its a heck of a coping mechanism. Just telling myself, "you had it in the past." Is that weird in a way?

Also, no some of the brightest minds in history didn't skip grades- Einstein, Roosevelt, hell, even Federer. And I remind myself of this fact when I feel really down on myself.

I want to have this belief that anything is possible and be happy but it sometimes seems naive. I'm sorta in a rough state of mind, trying to get this grade skipping thing out of my head. If anyone can help me that would be great.

I don't know how old you are now, but I think by the time you hit "adulthood," this is going to be less and less of something you consider. If you're dwelling on missed opportunities, you're not going to be taking the opportunities available to you now, and/or making paths to the opportunities you still have in your future.

One question for you: Is this something you can control now? If not, don't worry about it. Move on, and make yourself a better person one day at a time. If you regret not accomplishing more in your limited youth, start making progress towards something you DO want to accomplish. There is no use in wasting energy regretting how things were.

Finally, I'd like to point out that for all of those young prodigies, I've never met a single one that was well adjusted in a social manner. I'm generalizing here (shame on me), but I think there is significant value in just interacting with "peers." By peers, here, I mean people of the same age group. While you may (or may not be) more mentally developed/mature than your age-peers, there is value in interacting with people, and it's a "skill" that many people cease to recognize until it's too late. Like it's been said above, even if you HAD skipped a grade (or two), you'll be a runt OR treated differently (perhaps not in a bad way) as compared to your peers. People are intimidated by unknowns/and things they don't fully understand, so there are significant disadvantages to being (what I like to call) "a prodigy."

JMHO.

TL;DR: It's never too late to start makin' moves. Quit dwelling on things you can't change.

LuckyR · Jul 27, 2012

stapletonj said:
Actually, I'm the experiment.

My brother (who also plays tennis) did not skip grades
I did.
We both became lawyers. We are partners.
Not really that much difference.
Except that I am a little better looking, of course.

And more modest...

sureshs · Jul 27, 2012

If you skip grades, you start accumulating Social Security and Medicare points earlier and make more money, so it makes sense. Life is short.

Ronaldo · Jul 27, 2012

sureshs said:
If you skip grades, you start accumulating Social Security and Medicare points earlier and make more money, so it makes sense. Life is short.

But those days in middle school last so long when you skip a grade.

Champs990411 · Jul 27, 2012

Bizarre topic.

No.

djokovicgonzalez2010 · Jul 27, 2012

I feel similarly. I'm about to be a senior in high school and I had the option of skipping 2 grades, was encouraged to skip at least one, and didn't.
Thinking I could be well into college, I wish I had

Steady Eddy · Jul 27, 2012

djokovicgonzalez2010 said:
I feel similarly. I'm about to be a senior in high school and I had the option of skipping 2 grades, was encouraged to skip at least one, and didn't.
Thinking I could be well into college, I wish I had

Two grades! Why so many smart people on these boards? Do smart people play tennis?

sportsfan1 · Jul 27, 2012

Presuming from your second post that this was a long time ago, so failing to see why this matters or why you are pondering over it? It's not like skipping a grade would have changed your life in a a huge way from where it is now?

Regret over not skipping a grade?

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