"Don't Ever Say 'YOU!' To Me Again!!"

[Cindysphinx]

I was playing practice doubles with teammates a few days ago. My two opponents are very good friends.

Anyway, one of them was at net, the other was staggered back a bit, perhaps at the service line. My team lobbed the net player. She said, "YOU!" and started to switch.

The other net player tried to reach the ball and for whatever reason did not make a successful shot. She then turned and rebuked her partner, visibly angry that her partner had yelled "You!" in the middle of the point. Later, she apologized to her partner and explained that "You!" freaks her out, distracts her, and makes her miss.

Her partner said she doesn't know what else to say and says "You" whenever she knows she has no play on the ball. She said that she appreciates it when her own partners say "You!" because then she knows she there won't be any interference from her partner and she "owns" that ball.

Me, I stood drinking water, glad I wasn't in the middle of this particular dust-up.

Personally, I have had some partners react badly to "You!" when a ball is going over my head. They think it sounds accusatory, like it is their responsibility if the ball cannot be reached. I have tried to stop saying "You!" in that situation. Instead I say ridiculous things like, "Can't reach it!" and "Ah, no way!" and "I'll never get there!", which sometimes seem to achieve nothing other than causing my partners to burst out laughing.

Anyone else encounter a bad reaction to "You!!"

 

[Steady Eddy]

I wonder if that person was an only child? She sounds kind of high maintenance to me. Can she understand that there is a world outside of herself, and that not everything is about her? Her partner's trying to win a point for the team, not make editorial comments about her. If she thinks "out" is a method to diss her she's mistaken. This egocentric view should have been outgrown in early childhood.

 

[Cindysphinx]

I wonder if that person was an only child? She sounds kind of high maintenance to me. Can she understand that there is a world outside of herself, and that not everything is about her? Her partner's trying to win a point for the team, not make editorial comments about her. If she thinks "out" is a method to diss her she's mistaken. This egocentric view should have been outgrown in early childhood.

That's the thing. This lady is a total delight. Mellow, laid back, even-tempered, fun. This "you" business is the only thing that sets her off.

 

[Vermillion]

say "get it" instead

 

[raiden031]

Later, she apologized to her partner and explained that "You!" freaks her out, distracts her, and makes her miss.

I think she is mentally weak then and thats her own problem to deal with. I say 'you' alot because there have been far too many times where I let a ball go only for my partner to let it go because they thought I was getting it. I don't see why its a big deal to say 'you'. Its not like I say it every shot but only those questionable ones that are too risky for me to go for.

 

[Ronaldo]

Never heard "You" just "Yours". Then I heard we cover our own lobs here.

 

[Steady Eddy]

That's the thing. This lady is a total delight. Mellow, laid back, even-tempered, fun. This "you" business is the only thing that sets her off.

If I was her partner I'd try not to say "you". But sometimes you forget, because things happen fast. For this woman, her next partner won't know about her "don't say 'you'" rule. I would think she could tell herself that they don't mean any offense by that.

 

[LawnChairGeneral]

They think it sounds accusatory, like it is their responsibility if the ball cannot be reached.

sounds a bit over-sensitive to me. i mean, you are out there to play as a team, why play the blame game when you should be helping each other? would the accused feel better about herself if you tried to get a ball out of your reach and missed anyway?

my partner and i use "help" and "switch". if i know i can't get a ball, i say "help". he knows the ball is his to hit. similarly, if one of us says "switch" the other knows that the ball is theirs as we reposition on the court.

clearly, verbal communication between partners needs to be sorted out before the match (similar to poach signals) so you have at least a basic understanding of what your partner is going to do in certain situations... especially if you have never played with them before.

the only time i say "yours" is after i have hit the ball in the net. at that point, it is clear that my partner could have made a better shot.

 

[Sakkijarvi]

Let's say one was Jewish. The other Evangelical. The Evangelical might yell, "Jew!" That's a word one could get out quickly. But just imagine, when it's the other person's ball, hit between you, whatever. It'd be a mouthful to yell, "Evangelical!"

Sakki

 

[JavierLW]

I was playing practice doubles with teammates a few days ago. My two opponents are very good friends.

Anyway, one of them was at net, the other was staggered back a bit, perhaps at the service line. My team lobbed the net player. She said, "YOU!" and started to switch.

The other net player tried to reach the ball and for whatever reason did not make a successful shot. She then turned and rebuked her partner, visibly angry that her partner had yelled "You!" in the middle of the point. Later, she apologized to her partner and explained that "You!" freaks her out, distracts her, and makes her miss.

Her partner said she doesn't know what else to say and says "You" whenever she knows she has no play on the ball. She said that she appreciates it when her own partners say "You!" because then she knows she there won't be any interference from her partner and she "owns" that ball.

Me, I stood drinking water, glad I wasn't in the middle of this particular dust-up.

Personally, I have had some partners react badly to "You!" when a ball is going over my head. They think it sounds accusatory, like it is their responsibility if the ball cannot be reached. I have tried to stop saying "You!" in that situation. Instead I say ridiculous things like, "Can't reach it!" and "Ah, no way!" and "I'll never get there!", which sometimes seem to achieve nothing other than causing my partners to burst out laughing.

Anyone else encounter a bad reaction to "You!!"

I think we've been all around this before in another lifetime on here, but in most cases if you have to say "YOU!!" in order for your partner to get ready to take a ball you cant get too, it is probably way too late. (unless they are super fast)

Or they are already on their way to backing you up anyway (which is what they should be doing) and now you are just distacting them.

 

[LawnChairGeneral]

Or they are already on their way to backing you up anyway (which is what they should be doing) and now you are just distacting them.

do people really find chatter from your teammate distracting? i'm always talking to my partner when the ball is on our side. things like...

..."take your time" - when setting up for an overhead or other easy put away.
..."nobody" or "cross" - when he is running back to return a lob. similar to volleyball players, i'm telling him where the opponents are while he is watching the ball. "nobody" means down the line is open. "cross" means hit it cross court.
..."right" or "left" - let's the other player know where they are. usually only happens after a poach or switch where we have changed positions on the court. the guy closest to the baseline is the verbal QB because he can see all the action.

not sure we could get through a match if we weren't communicating.

 

[Cindysphinx]

I play with a terrific guy in mixed. We have a bit of experience with each other.

One thing he has started doing is saying, "Easy . . . " when I am running up for a short ball. I don't know why, but this really helps me a lot, and I am less likely to knock it into the back curtain.

Not to mention that his giving me commands like I'm a horse is hilarious.

 

[cak]

I think we've been all around this before in another lifetime on here, but in most cases if you have to say "YOU!!" in order for your partner to get ready to take a ball you cant get too, it is probably way too late. (unless they are super fast)

Or they are already on their way to backing you up anyway (which is what they should be doing) and now you are just distacting them.

At our club the advantage of saying "yours" is that then you can claim it's not your fault. "Yours" is often called after the ball has bounced out of the court, and ends up meaning the rest of the players on the court, and most the people on the viewing deck have rights to razz whoever called "Yours" for the rest of the day. So it more a friendly joke type thing.

The prevailing words for balls you can't get in my circle are "Can't" as in "I can't reach it" or "Help".

 

[Loco4Tennis]

Never heard "You" just "Yours". Then I heard we cover our own lobs here.

yeah me too
its either "yours" or "your ball"
when they miss it, the normal follow up reply occurs without fail "WTF?? where were you on that one S#$T-H$%D", but with the atmost respect ofcourse

 

[swimntennis]

What about "not I!"?

 

[Murray_Maniac]

I dont get why ppl dont like it when I say "you!". Whenever I do it, its always because my partner has a better shot at it & I feel I have to communicate that to them, so I think its better than saying nothing. But, my partner, no matter who it is, always starts to feel pressure and nearly always misses the shot and becomes angry @ me. But whenever they say "you!" to me, I always get it. Any1 feel the same?

 

[Ronaldo]

yeah me too
its either "yours" or "your ball"
when they miss it, the normal follow up reply occurs without fail "WTF?? where were you on that one S#$T-H$%D", but with the atmost respect ofcourse

Yes.........Do I have to rundown every ball? Comeback to the baseline if you cannot cover the lob................I'm facing three opponents at one time.......................

 

[onehandbh]

Cindy,

next time, try saying "ewe!" instead.

Here's what I do. If I am being lobbed, I drop back and
hit an overhead if at all possible, even if I can barely
get to it. If it is going to go over my head, then I run back
to get it. I only stop running to hit it if my partner calls me
off.

 

[Loco4Tennis]

some people are just not possible to do right by, if you miss it, they let you know it, if they miss it, they let you think it was yours and they let you know it either way
really the best thing to do is call it as soon as you can and get out the way, chances are the people behind you have a better chance to get to it, after all thats also what they are there for
going for impossible shots, is not always a good thing, you most likely will net the ball or hurt yourself in the process
i hate playing with people who think doubles tennis is a single mans sport

 

[JHBKLYN]

I tell my partners the only words they should be saying when we are both going after a ball is "mine" and only say it if they intend to hit the ball because if I hear a peep from them while I'm chasing the ball, I assume they are calling for it and I will stop. But some people can't seem to break the habit and even though the ball is 15 feet away from them, they'll still say "yours!" as if I don't know that I am the only player at that point to hit the ball back to the other side. :shock:

 

[ramesh]

How about "yours".

My pard usually says "buddy yours" (or something like that).

lol

What about "not I!"?

 

[montx]

Here is one situation where I think compromise comes into order. If people are playing in a team they should know the ground rules of communication between them.

There is no blasphemy in saying "mine" or "yours" as long as it is done so in harmony.

Several things come to mind about this incident.

Firstly, if one person who says it comes off in a derogatory way, the word "yours" or "mine" can indicate no value of partnership between two players and the partnership should be reconsidered.

Secondly, if a person gets defensive about someone 'ordering' him/her around the court either more understanding is required of the person being told of the situation or the person giving the 'order' should explain that however it is said, it is meant for indicative purposes.

In summary I think, it is better to get out the communication block out of the way in the beginning and try and build some sort of bridge of understanding. After all its probably easier to have a real partnership with some understanding than none.

 

[cak]

I also think timing has a lot to do with communication. If someone is calling anything, including "you" on my backswing, well, I tend to get distracted trying to determine whether they are yelling at me to hit it or not. I've played with partners that do the "yours" "mine" on every ball and it doesn't bother me, as they usually call just as the ball comes off the opponents racquet. But for the people who yell "you" while I'm already have my racquet back and am trying to track the overhead in the sun, they need to lower expectations.

 

[beedlejuice22]

Once my partner yelled out "you got it" when i was running down a lob. And being the ***** that this kid was, I thought he yelled "I got it" So i stopped midstride and so did he. Apparently he yelled "you got it" which doesnt even make sense to say because I was 3 feet in front of him. Of course I had it!

 

[Tarboro]

Communication in doubles can be taken too far, particularly communication during a point. However, freaking out when your partner says "yours" or "I got it" is a pretty extreme case.

One of the guys I play doubles with is a big talker during points. "Yours...mine...switch...short...watch it..." are not uncommon, sometimes all in one (long) point. He's loud and probably intimidating, as he's 6'5" and has a mean overhead. I can see where his calls might have that effect on his partners. However, most of the blame for my bad shots, even when I play with this guy, starts and stops with me. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I think your partner yelling during the point is a bad excuse for an error.

 

[Caloi]

I didn't read all the responses but my experiences from baseball, which work pretty well in doubles, is for each person to go after each ball that is questionable until one calls off the other.

You've seen outfielders in baseball both going after a ball, until at the last minute one fades quickly as the other gets the ball.

It seems to work in doubles for me and if my partner has the better chance of getting to the ball then I'll quickly get out of the way for him to make the play.

 

[MariaS]

I only hate it when my partner says yours when I totally cannot get to the ball.
But the words I hate the most are bring it home. Yipes! I know that; do I need my partner to increase my stress level? :?

 

[Steady Eddy]

But the words I hate the most are bring it home. Yipes! I know that; do I need my partner to increase my stress level? :?

My mom doesn't like it in golf, when she gets ready to putt and someone says, "Sink it." She says that she doesn't like the pressure. But I tell her, they don't mean that as an order, they're just trying to be encouraging. Same thing with you. Your partner is on your side. They say "bring it home" to encourage you. It's not like if you missed they'd say, "Now what did I say?" I hope this takes away the pressure.

 

[Baxter]

do people really find chatter from your teammate distracting? i'm always talking to my partner when the ball is on our side. things like...

..."take your time" - when setting up for an overhead or other easy put away.
..."nobody" or "cross" - when he is running back to return a lob. similar to volleyball players, i'm telling him where the opponents are while he is watching the ball. "nobody" means down the line is open. "cross" means hit it cross court.
..."right" or "left" - let's the other player know where they are. usually only happens after a poach or switch where we have changed positions on the court. the guy closest to the baseline is the verbal QB because he can see all the action.

not sure we could get through a match if we weren't communicating.

I got in trouble for saying "easy" to my partner the other day during a tournament. He's great at the net but will blow an easy high sitter that's close to the net at least half the time. That's why when he had lots of time and a big fat one to put away I said "easy". He flubbed it into the net and then came back with "No coaching from the baseline please"

 

[GraphiteMachete]

While playing social doubles, my partner and I both ran to get a lob that went above my partner's head. I shouted "I got it" but he shouted back "No, sorry it's mine" and we both swung our racquets. Thankfully, my racquet hit his racquet only after his racquet hit the ball. We won that point but I was mad at my partner.

 

[Cindysphinx]

I only hate it when my partner says yours when I totally cannot get to the ball.
But the words I hate the most are bring it home. Yipes! I know that; do I need my partner to increase my stress level? :?

I don't like "Kill it!" or "Put it away."

That is the last thing I need. I have a severe case of Irrational Exuberance when faced with a sitter. Winding me up further is a bad idea.

What people forget when they say that is that they might make me change my mind. Also, how am I supposed to feel if I don't put it away and the point continues? The whole time I'm thinking that my partner is disappointed.

It would be like if I'm lining up an overhead and someone said, "GO CROSSCOURT! IT'S WIDE OPEN!!" Pointlessly distracting.

 

[Steady Eddy]

It would be like if I'm lining up an overhead and someone said, "GO CROSSCOURT! IT'S WIDE OPEN!!" Pointlessly distracting.

How about in golf, as someone putts, say, "Remember, it breaks!"?

 

[JavierLW]

do people really find chatter from your teammate distracting? i'm always talking to my partner when the ball is on our side. things like...

..."take your time" - when setting up for an overhead or other easy put away.
..."nobody" or "cross" - when he is running back to return a lob. similar to volleyball players, i'm telling him where the opponents are while he is watching the ball. "nobody" means down the line is open. "cross" means hit it cross court.
..."right" or "left" - let's the other player know where they are. usually only happens after a poach or switch where we have changed positions on the court. the guy closest to the baseline is the verbal QB because he can see all the action.

not sure we could get through a match if we weren't communicating.

Yes people may find those things distracting, especially to the extent that you are taking it.

If you are very comfortable with your partner and you've been playing together for years and that stuff works for you, then that's cool.

But many times you may be faced playing with someone new, and if you are distracting them then you have to accept the fact that you are not benefiting your partner or helping them to play their best by distracting them.

If I ever play with someone new and they are going banana's shouting out instructions and needlessly saying "MINE" and "YOURS" and like one guy, turning his back to the net while I was running full speed to shag a ball down (that went behind HIM), yelling "UP!!! UP!!! UP!!!", usually am very annoyed.

Usually I think they are just very intraverted themselves and cant see or understand that they are distracting their partner, and secondly I figure they are not very good, because in a lot of situations when both partners are good and they are both on the same page, they dont have to yell MINE or YOURS all the time, because they know who is getting what.

Sometimes I think you have to yell "MINE", balls may go inbetween you and it's important for someone to take responsibility for it. But yelling YOURS in most cases is dumb. By the time the word comes out of your mouth it's too late. (or was not necessary because your partner was backing you up anyway)

The worst is when I get a easy overhead and the ball is directly above me and all the sudden my partner yells "YOURS!!!!!". I think "take your time" is annoying as well. I know how to hit an overhead, and even if I didnt, I certainly dont need you coaching me at the last possible second.

If Im behind my partner I might say things like "SWITCH" or "STAY", but those are things you say while the ball is traveling in the other direction.

And I know about the excuse "we're playing doubles" but that doesnt mean that you need to talk and give out instructions why every single ball is going your way.

If you take doubles drills you eventually learn to make better decisions and if both people are on the same page and dont have to yell out stuff everytime, that's a beautiful thing. (which is why it's good to have a conversation with your partner off the court to decide what happens in those kinds of situations)

The main thing about situations where you may yell YOURS is that the real issue is one of these two things:

1) You chickened out / were too close to the net / or you just didnt stay behind the ball enough to hit an overhead. In our drills we tend to get most of our overheads. Even as far back as the baseline at times (although those are not aggressive overheads). So that limits how much you would depend on your partner to go fetch balls that you couldnt get.

2) Your partner should be backing you up. Both players need to be ready to hit the ball in any situation. Having someone just standing around watching or wondering if you are going to get it or not is no good. If they are backing you up, then you dont have to yell YOURS. They should be the ones who took the initiative to back you up and let you know that they are there so you can bail out if you need to, not the other way around.

 

[North]

do people really find chatter from your teammate distracting? i'm always talking to my partner when the ball is on our side. things like...

Lol - yes some of us find it incredibly distracting! Many people seem to have a need for constant interaction while playing doubles. That's why you need to find a partner you can play with personally as well as technically.

I only like to talk, as briefly as possible, between points and, then, only about strategy (eg: where I will serve, will my partner poach, etc). Other than that, I don't like any talking at all, especially not during a point. It's just easier for me to know/sense what's happening on my side of the court if my partner is just playing and not talking.

 

[JavierLW]

I don't like "Kill it!" or "Put it away."

That is the last thing I need. I have a severe case of Irrational Exuberance when faced with a sitter. Winding me up further is a bad idea.

What people forget when they say that is that they might make me change my mind. Also, how am I supposed to feel if I don't put it away and the point continues? The whole time I'm thinking that my partner is disappointed.

It would be like if I'm lining up an overhead and someone said, "GO CROSSCOURT! IT'S WIDE OPEN!!" Pointlessly distracting.

I think you have a good point here. Sometimes on our own we change our mind in mid-shot and we end up hitting a horrible shot. You need to make up your mind early, watch the ball and execute, that's just how it is done.

Having someone yell instructions at you while you are going after the ball is no good.

Maybe if someone is a 4.5 player and they have their shots engrained in their head then it's not as bad, but who's going to tell a 4.5 player that they need to "KILL IT", or "TAKE YOUR TIME!!!"?

 

[MariaS]

Coming from a single's background I actually hate talking to anyone while I'm playing. **hmm maybe that's why I don't play doubles a lot** :-?
I don't like "not I". It's too negative and wordy. By the time I figure out that the NOT means she's not going to get it when in fact she should, who knows where I'll be or what I'll do. Not I....:?

 

[Swissv2]

Not to mention that his giving me commands like I'm a horse is hilarious.

Somehow, that comment made me giggle internally and imagine the fellow saying "Whoa there...steady" and "atta girl", with a carrot in his hands.

I have heard the locals here yell out "I can't get it!", "Yours!",and "Aghhhhhh!".

 

[LawnChairGeneral]

i agree that you shouldn't be a chatter box with a new partner... i've never initiated unwanted chatter without prior approval... but that doesn't automatically mean that they would find it distracting. everyone is different and you need to figure out what works for your particular partnership.

2) Your partner should be backing you up. Both players need to be ready to hit the ball in any situation.

i strongly disagree with this statement. doubles is not a little league soccer game where the players follow the ball like a swarm of bees. one player clearly has rights to each ball based on court positioning and angle of attack. you should have trust in your partner to make certain shots because if you are constantly playing back up, you will leave parts of the court exposed and/or open angles for your opponent to attack.

my partner and i have been playing 4.0 doubles for 5 years, so we have these things ironed out. we certainly do not talk every point... we know what the other is going to do... but there is still plenty of verbal confirmation going on. not instruction. not ordering. but communication and confirmation of action.

it's not like i'm color commentating the entire point as it goes on, but in certain situations i need to be the eyes for my partner. it's mainly letting him know where the opponent is not. he also admittedly has a bad habit of changing his mind on shots, so it helps us both if i can get in his head early and force a decision. obviously this is a unique case for a long-standing partnership and isn't going to work for everyone.

bottom line, most people don't like to talk during a point and in most cases players are stepping onto the court together for the first time. i feel lucky to have found a partner that i can play with for as long as we have. but those who interpret on-court chatter as instruction or orders need to get over themselves. it's not personal, it's tennis.

 

[10sfreak]

I play with a terrific guy in mixed. We have a bit of experience with each other.

One thing he has started doing is saying, "Easy . . . " when I am running up for a short ball. I don't know why, but this really helps me a lot, and I am less likely to knock it into the back curtain.

Not to mention that his giving me commands like I'm a horse is hilarious.

LOL! I've started doing the same thing to my female partner. I'll say, "easy, easy" real calmly, and it seems to calm her down, and keep her from wailing on the ball, sending it into the fence.
As for me, I don't like to hear anything during the point, except "mine", or "I've got it". Then I know to leave the ball alone. But, like the subject of the original post, I don't like hearing "you", "yours", or anything like that. I, too, find it very distracting. It seems to me that the lady just didn't like the distraction.

 

[Cindysphinx]

Oh, another thing I say is "I'm up" when I have followed my return, my serve, or a lob to the net.

Two-up is still a rarity at my level, and it seems to help my partners to know that I'm not back there "backing them up." There's still a whole lot of Auto-Switching (where net players switch on every high ball, figuring their partner can run over and hit a groundstroke).

I used to assume my partners could hear the ponderous footsteps and snorting sounds that signal I am coming up, but I've decided to stop assuming that. I can't be sure whether "I'm up" is helping, but no one has complained.

Yet.

 

[LawnChairGeneral]

I used to assume my partners could hear the ponderous footsteps and snorting sounds that signal I am coming up...

haha, classic.

 

[cghipp]

Let's say one was Jewish. The other Evangelical. The Evangelical might yell, "Jew!" That's a word one could get out quickly. But just imagine, when it's the other person's ball, hit between you, whatever. It'd be a mouthful to yell, "Evangelical!"

Sakki

I guess I'm the only person who thought this was hilarious, but I did!

We say "yours" here. Sometimes if neither of us can get to the ball, I'll clarify: "By 'yours,' I mean "not mine.'"

 

[autumn_leaf]

Personally, I have had some partners react badly to "You!" when a ball is going over my head. They think it sounds accusatory, like it is their responsibility if the ball cannot be reached. I have tried to stop saying "You!" in that situation. Instead I say ridiculous things like, "Can't reach it!" and "Ah, no way!" and "I'll never get there!", which sometimes seem to achieve nothing other than causing my partners to burst out laughing.

Anyone else encounter a bad reaction to "You!!"

omg that's hilarious. i would bust out laughing if my partner screamed "I'll never get there!"

me and my partner never really say anything at all. we just try for everything at our side, except at net where whenever one can poach one does for us.

 

[xtrakewl]

im gonna say that next time

 

[Eviscerator]

Anyone else encounter a bad reaction to "You!!"

I have never heard of such a complaint. "Your's" or "mine" along with "switch" are three common communication skills taught at entry levels and above.

 

[LuckyR]

If you get in the habit of calling "yours" and "mine" on every single lob, no matter how obvious who should hit it, then when in panic mode, the verbal call won't be so much of an issue.

 

[Ronaldo]

I have never heard of such a complaint. "Your's" or "mine" along with "switch" are three common communication skills taught at entry levels and above.

Bet there is a complaint when it is always Yours.

 

[10esplr]

I rarely talk when playing doubles. I keep my eye on the ball and so do my partners and we understand from what either of us is doing. So we swithch sides, go back etc.

 

[slice bh compliment]

...."You!" freaks her out, distracts her, and makes her miss.

.....think it sounds accusatory, like it is their responsibility if the ball cannot be reached. ......!!"

Interesting take on a simple word. Accusatory? That's really odd.
EDIT: But then again, I'm a guy. Not so smart with the accusatory passive aggressive hinty stuff.

This lady needs:
a] a better understanding of the basics of dubs communication, and the fact that even though dubs is rarely physically taxing, when it is, one syllable is best so as not to disrupt breathing.
b] a better relationship with her partner.

 

[pow]

Usually when I get lobbed, I like to quickly yell to my partner:

"I think you have a better play on this next ball because the ball is clearly over my head and I don't think it would be advantageous if I tried to reach it anyways. Maybe you should try to have a shot at it; I won't get in the way of this one. If you don't have a play on the ball, it is okay, I was not in position to take it anyways. I just thought I'd advise you to be ready."

It works relatively well, no misunderstandings as I am perfectly clear and we usually win those points because the opponents are busy trying to eavesdrop on my strategic talk.