The TTW Dictionary

Chelsea_Kiwi

Hall of Fame
Prime - n. - Any player who reaches a Grand Slam final is considered to be in the "prime" of their life. See Usage Note: GameSampras's posts.
 
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tennis-hero

Banned

One handed Backhand


The greatest manly shot in tennis. Any male who hits a one handed backhand is instantly superior to any two handed backhand players

Two handed backhand

A shot for females and baseliners without talent
 

tennis-hero

Banned
Nadal

definition 1

Possibly the greatest player of the decade, came into the Federer era and destoryed him on clay- labelled as a clay court player untill he raised his game onto other surfaces and owned everyone on them. currently invincle on clay, and the best player in the world on every other surface. will probably be seen as the clay court GOAT by the time he retires and possibly the GOAT himself. can beat Federer with his eyes closed

Definition 2

The worst player of the decade, sneaked into the Federer era and managed some ropey wins on clay using the one dimensional tactic of hitting to the federer backhand. can only play on clay- clay court specialist- which include the super slow green clay at wimbledon and the new blue clay at the AO- wins on clay only because the current era is the weakest clay court era of all time. wil never be considered as GOAT because his play style is too ugly.
 

svijk

Semi-Pro
nothing to contribute but just wanted to know what these posting terms meant

troll

10 char

see them used all the time ..
 

illkhiboy

Hall of Fame
Clay n.- Any surface Nadal wins on (can be red, blue, green or any color really, hard court, carpet, grass or clay).

Did you plagiarize this from http://tt.tennis-warehouse.com/showthread.php?t=251731&highlight=dictionary?

Clay:
~noun
1. Any surface on which Rafael Nadal wins a tournament. Clay can be red, blue, green, grey, low bouncing, high bouncing, with leaves on it or covered by cement (it doesn’t matter, clay’s still there).


Or did you just happen to have the same idea and decided to phrase it remarkably similarly? Or did you just feel that it was a generic way to put it and no citation was needed?
 

aphex

Banned
Did you plagiarize this from http://tt.tennis-warehouse.com/showthread.php?t=251731&highlight=dictionary?

Clay:
~noun
1. Any surface on which Rafael Nadal wins a tournament. Clay can be red, blue, green, grey, low bouncing, high bouncing, with leaves on it or covered by cement (it doesn’t matter, clay’s still there).


Or did you just happen to have the same idea and decided to phrase it remarkably similarly? Or did you just feel that it was a generic way to put it and no citation was needed?


clearly plagiarized--not cool...
 
Greatest thread ever! More please!!!!!!!!! :lol::lol:

My word suggestions;
No?, You know, retirement, in control, Match point, Break point, Weak era, Weak field, Weak competition, Potential, Future no.1, Future of tennis;-)
 

veroniquem

Bionic Poster
Did you plagiarize this from http://tt.tennis-warehouse.com/showthread.php?t=251731&highlight=dictionary?

Clay:
~noun
1. Any surface on which Rafael Nadal wins a tournament. Clay can be red, blue, green, grey, low bouncing, high bouncing, with leaves on it or covered by cement (it doesn’t matter, clay’s still there).


Or did you just happen to have the same idea and decided to phrase it remarkably similarly? Or did you just feel that it was a generic way to put it and no citation was needed?
It's a complete coincidence! I had never read that thread but it seems so obvious I'm not surprised someone else came up with the same idea!
 
My word suggestions;

No?, You know, retirement, in control, Match point, Break point, Weak era, Weak field, Weak competition, Potential, Future no.1, Future of tennis
 

canadave

Professional
GREAT idea for a thread. Being a professional writer, I love this stuff!!!

_______________________________________________

No?
~interj.
1. Interjective question requesting clarification of a line call.
2. Half-hopeful, half-accusatory question aimed at the idiot on the other side of the court who clearly needs glasses (if he doesn't already have glasses) or better glasses (if he already does have glasses).

In control
~adj. phrase
1. Being in command of a tennis match.
2. The state your opponent was in before he choked.
3. The state you were in before your opponent cheated.

Championship point
~noun phrase
1. The point in a match where a player may win the championship.
2. The part of a tennis match off-limits to Anna Kournikova.
3. The most opportune moment to choke.

Break point
~noun phrase
1. The point on which a serving player may lose the game.
2. For the serving player, the point arrived at after thousands of distractions, opponent's mindgames, overhead airplane flyovers, crickets chirping as he/she was about to serve, and slightly too much humidity (during that particular game).
3. For the receiver, the logical result of the serving player having choked.

Weak field
~noun phrase
1. A tournament field in which Federer should have easily won, but didn't (if a *******).
2. A tournament field in which Nadal should have easily won, but didn't (if a *******).
3. A tournament field that your favourite GOAT never faced.

Potential
~noun
1. The most abundant element in the universe.
2. What your favourite GOAT had, after he/she winds up never winning a tournament.

Future #1
~noun phrase
1. Any tennis player, amateur or professional, other than the player currently ranked number 1 in the world.

Future Top 10
~noun phrase
1. Any tennis player, other than the players currently ranked number 1-10 in the world, who isn't really all that good.
 
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canadave

Professional
heh, thanks guys (and thanks Dilettante for starting this thread in the first place).

overrated
~adj.
1. Any tennis player ranked above your favourite tennis player.
2. Any professional tennis player who never played with a wooden racquet.

underrated
~adj.
1. see "Potential" from earlier post.
2. Any tennis player who hasn't played anyone good yet.
3. your favourite tennis player.

swingweight
~n.
1. A measurement of a racquet's relative weight as it is moved through the air.
2. A racquet measurement whose very definition is subject to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle.

Davis Cup
~n.
1. Distinguished international tennis tournament.
2. The jockstrap used by Mr. Davis, famous tennis player of the 1920's.
3. Excuse for nationalist drunkards who can't even comprehend how they arrived at the arena, let alone understand the tiebreaker rules of tennis, to come together to sing songs, hurl insults and objects, and generally cause as much international bad feeling as possible.

pants
~n.
1. Article of clothing that covers the length of the legs, from the waist down to the feet.
2. Nadal's shorts.
3. The target a tennis player tries to repeatedly hit on his opponent (i.e. "He really beat the pants off that guy.")

tennis bag
~n.
1. Article used to carry tennis equipment to/from a venue.
2. A bottomless bag, larger on the inside than the outside, that defies physical laws by allowing an infinite number of items to be stuffed inside a finite space.

racquet technology
~n.
1. Any artificial addition that racquet manufacturers employ to improve racquet performance.
2. An intelligence test used to determine who on TTW has half a brain.
3. Any random assortment of letters associated with a racquet that is designed to instill a sense of awe by nature of its complete randomness.
4. What comes out the hind area of a bull.
 
G

Gugafan_Redux

Guest
OMG, my entry for sarcasm from a few weeks ago was deleted.

Did anyone see it? Why would that be deleted?!!
 

GasquetGOAT

Hall of Fame
Brilliant! Tennis nationality made me
roflmao-41979.jpg
:twisted:

This is the chapter 2 of the TTW Dictionary. Once again, this is a summary that doesn't reflect my own opinions and it's not meant to offend anyone:

Annoying
~adjective
1. Things that your favourite player’s rival does during match (i.e. breathing, having loud heart beats, staring before opponent’s serve).

Cheating
~verb
1. Things that your favourite player’s rival does during match, in case your favourite player loses that match (i.e. breathing too strong on purpose, having loud heart beats on purpose, wearing contact lens in order to reflect the sunrays directly to the opponent’s eyes to make him miss the shot).

Excuse
~noun
1. Anything a player says in the press conference after losing a match and doesn’t sound like “my rival PWNED me badly”, “my rival is a god and I couldn’t win while being so in awe with his divine light”, “I was 100% today, absolutely ON, healthier than ever, totally focused, no mono, no tiredness, no headcase, but I would never won this match because my rival is the ultra-GOAT and his mother looks like Scarlett Johansson and his coach is Einstein and I praise him every night before going to sleep and I’m so thankful for having the honour of being arse-kicked by him”.
2. Anything a player says in the press conference after losing a match unless it sounds like “I was threatened by the Mafia not to win this match, and I wasn’t focused because my girlfriend ran away with Radek Stepanek, and my coach ran away with all my earnings, and my whole family died yesterday in a plane crash while coming to see this match, and during this morning’s medical routine I found out to be dying of a strange disease that came to Earth in a meteorite”.
3. Every time Venus Williams says something.

Uncle Toni
~noun
1. According to *******s: Malicious, manipulative and ambitious Dr. Frankenstein that took a poor, hungry kid from the slums of the desolate swamps of Mallorca (see also Mordor Islands) and made him a #1 by forcing him to swap right hand for left hand after years of painful Conan-like trainings that took place in an isolated cell somewhere under a shantytown, where the kid only was able to eat steroid-fed worms that left him a permanent butt itching.
2. According to *******s: modern Mahatma Gandhi that took a poor, hungry kid from the slums of the desolate swamps of Mallorca and made him #1 by teaching him the ways of love, peace, humility, kindness,
3. According to the rest: that guy that played in a Barcelona’s cricket team or something.

Grand Slam
~noun
1. Condition in which Roger Federer win all four majors.

Grand Slum
~noun
1. Condition in which Rafael Nadal win all four majors.

Pre-Open Era Tennis
~noun, History
1. Heroic past when players (holding bamboo made racquets) developed The Real Tennis on volcanic stony plains despite being hound by atrocious fire-throwing dragons.
2. Black and white Youtube joke where two immobile players make sissy moonballing groundstrokes for ages, until one of them feels he could start to sweat and that would ruin his facial make-up, and he makes an unforced error on purpose in order to run to the shade seat. And man, that didn't look like my tennis videogames at all.
3. There was no tennis then until it was brought from the future by Jimmy Connors, the brother of John Connor, that guy from "Terminator".

Open Era Tennis
~noun, History
1. Disgusting era when a bunch of spoiled, whining brats choke match after match despite being armed with Superpower Intelligent Ultragraphite Racquets From Future.

Head to Head
~noun
1. Scientific procedure to decide who’s the GOAT (i.e: Nadal beat Federer, who beat Sampras, who beat McEnroe, who beat Borg, who beat Laver, etc, etc; therefore Nadal would beat Jesus).

Headcase to Headcase
~noun
1. Scientific analysis to prove which player would have been the GOAT in the wonder world of Talent.
2. Scientific analysis to prove David Nalbandian is the current #1 despite what chaotic, arbitrary, moronic ATP rankings say.
3. ATP statistics in Oz’s website version.

Boring Player
~noun
1. Player who wins matches with the same textbook shots that were used by his father, his grandfather, his grand-grandfather and probably by Noah in the ark.
2. Player who wins too much.

Fun-to-watch Player
~noun
1. Player who doesn’t win a freaking match but makes unorthodox, stylish, imaginative strokes such as One-and-a-half-handed backhand, reverse serve, autorreverse forehand, rewind/fast forward forehand, between-legs smash, jumping dropshots and forehead volleys.
2. Fabrice Santoro.

Tennis nationality
~noun
1. For a TTW poster, certain characteristics that a player necessarily has if he/she comes from certain country. In other (stupid, politically correct) boards it may also be called “prejudice”.

I.e, players from these countries are supposed to be:

USA: Spoiled moronic brats that weren’t good enough to play Baseball.
Australia: Spoiled moronic brats that only were good when tennis was played only in Commonwealth.
UK: Spoiled moronic brats that just aren’t good enough for the freakin’ sport they freakin' invented.
Spain: All-day running moronic moonballers that grew up playing in African desert and are afraid of any kind of vegetation (i.e. grass) or any sign of civilization (i.e. hardcourts, indoor).
Argentina: All-day running moronic moonballers that usually get just too pissed and depressed on the 3rd set because Spaniards run more.
Chile: All-day running moronic moonballers that are already depressed in the 1st set because even Argentines run more than them.
Serbia: Disrespectful moronic jerks that make fun of players from other countries.
Croatia: Disrespectful moronic jerks that make fun of players from other countries. But he’s Croatian instead of Serbian.
France: Sissy moronic kids that get scared of playing in front of strangers.
Russia: Blonde moronic girls willing for a Green Card and a Florida model agency contract.
Switzerland: players who speak 17 languages and make a lot of watch commercials. For some strange reason, they don't seem to be moronic.
Sweden: players who speak 17 languages and make a lot of watch commercials and happen to be blonde.
Netherlands: players who speak 17 languages and make a lot of watch commercials and happen to be blonde and you never heard of them before and you never will in the future.
Germany: They used to be good at tennis, but since Berlin Wall was removed, they don’t seem to have a practice place. For God’s sake, build the guys a wall again!
Italy: Really? I though he was from New York, mainly because he doesn’t win a freaking match. He looks moronic anyway.
Japan: I swear I witnessed a promising Japanese player, I saw him, I’m dead serious, but I don’t know what happened to him. But damn, he was good.
 
T

TheMagicianOfPrecision

Guest
I cried tears of win.
****, the redwings lost 2 matches vs the blues in stockholm, 3-4 and 3-5, they looked extremely slow and unmotivated, in front off lots of Swedish fans:(
 

okdude1992

Hall of Fame
This is the chapter 2 of the TTW Dictionary. Once again, this is a summary that doesn't reflect my own opinions and it's not meant to offend anyone:

Annoying
~adjective
1. Things that your favourite player’s rival does during match (i.e. breathing, having loud heart beats, staring before opponent’s serve).

Cheating
~verb
1. Things that your favourite player’s rival does during match, in case your favourite player loses that match (i.e. breathing too strong on purpose, having loud heart beats on purpose, wearing contact lens in order to reflect the sunrays directly to the opponent’s eyes to make him miss the shot).

Excuse
~noun
1. Anything a player says in the press conference after losing a match and doesn’t sound like “my rival PWNED me badly”, “my rival is a god and I couldn’t win while being so in awe with his divine light”, “I was 100% today, absolutely ON, healthier than ever, totally focused, no mono, no tiredness, no headcase, but I would never won this match because my rival is the ultra-GOAT and his mother looks like Scarlett Johansson and his coach is Einstein and I praise him every night before going to sleep and I’m so thankful for having the honour of being arse-kicked by him”.
2. Anything a player says in the press conference after losing a match unless it sounds like “I was threatened by the Mafia not to win this match, and I wasn’t focused because my girlfriend ran away with Radek Stepanek, and my coach ran away with all my earnings, and my whole family died yesterday in a plane crash while coming to see this match, and during this morning’s medical routine I found out to be dying of a strange disease that came to Earth in a meteorite”.
3. Every time Venus Williams says something.

Uncle Toni
~noun
1. According to *******s: Malicious, manipulative and ambitious Dr. Frankenstein that took a poor, hungry kid from the slums of the desolate swamps of Mallorca (see also Mordor Islands) and made him a #1 by forcing him to swap right hand for left hand after years of painful Conan-like trainings that took place in an isolated cell somewhere under a shantytown, where the kid only was able to eat steroid-fed worms that left him a permanent butt itching.
2. According to *******s: modern Mahatma Gandhi that took a poor, hungry kid from the slums of the desolate swamps of Mallorca and made him #1 by teaching him the ways of love, peace, humility, kindness,
3. According to the rest: that guy that played in a Barcelona’s cricket team or something.

Grand Slam
~noun
1. Condition in which Roger Federer win all four majors.

Grand Slum
~noun
1. Condition in which Rafael Nadal win all four majors.

Pre-Open Era Tennis
~noun, History
1. Heroic past when players (holding bamboo made racquets) developed The Real Tennis on volcanic stony plains despite being hound by atrocious fire-throwing dragons.
2. Black and white Youtube joke where two immobile players make sissy moonballing groundstrokes for ages, until one of them feels he could start to sweat and that would ruin his facial make-up, and he makes an unforced error on purpose in order to run to the shade seat. And man, that didn't look like my tennis videogames at all.
3. There was no tennis then until it was brought from the future by Jimmy Connors, the brother of John Connor, that guy from "Terminator".

Open Era Tennis
~noun, History
1. Disgusting era when a bunch of spoiled, whining brats choke match after match despite being armed with Superpower Intelligent Ultragraphite Racquets From Future.

Head to Head
~noun
1. Scientific procedure to decide who’s the GOAT (i.e: Nadal beat Federer, who beat Sampras, who beat McEnroe, who beat Borg, who beat Laver, etc, etc; therefore Nadal would beat Jesus).

Headcase to Headcase
~noun
1. Scientific analysis to prove which player would have been the GOAT in the wonder world of Talent.
2. Scientific analysis to prove David Nalbandian is the current #1 despite what chaotic, arbitrary, moronic ATP rankings say.
3. ATP statistics in Oz’s website version.

Boring Player
~noun
1. Player who wins matches with the same textbook shots that were used by his father, his grandfather, his grand-grandfather and probably by Noah in the ark.
2. Player who wins too much.

Fun-to-watch Player
~noun
1. Player who doesn’t win a freaking match but makes unorthodox, stylish, imaginative strokes such as One-and-a-half-handed backhand, reverse serve, autorreverse forehand, rewind/fast forward forehand, between-legs smash, jumping dropshots and forehead volleys.
2. Fabrice Santoro.

Tennis nationality
~noun
1. For a TTW poster, certain characteristics that a player necessarily has if he/she comes from certain country. In other (stupid, politically correct) boards it may also be called “prejudice”.

I.e, players from these countries are supposed to be:

USA: Spoiled moronic brats that weren’t good enough to play Baseball.
Australia: Spoiled moronic brats that only were good when tennis was played only in Commonwealth.
UK: Spoiled moronic brats that just aren’t good enough for the freakin’ sport they freakin' invented.
Spain: All-day running moronic moonballers that grew up playing in African desert and are afraid of any kind of vegetation (i.e. grass) or any sign of civilization (i.e. hardcourts, indoor).
Argentina: All-day running moronic moonballers that usually get just too pissed and depressed on the 3rd set because Spaniards run more.
Chile: All-day running moronic moonballers that are already depressed in the 1st set because even Argentines run more than them.
Serbia: Disrespectful moronic jerks that make fun of players from other countries.
Croatia: Disrespectful moronic jerks that make fun of players from other countries. But he’s Croatian instead of Serbian.
France: Sissy moronic kids that get scared of playing in front of strangers.
Russia: Blonde moronic girls willing for a Green Card and a Florida model agency contract.
Switzerland: players who speak 17 languages and make a lot of watch commercials. For some strange reason, they don't seem to be moronic.
Sweden: players who speak 17 languages and make a lot of watch commercials and happen to be blonde.
Netherlands: players who speak 17 languages and make a lot of watch commercials and happen to be blonde and you never heard of them before and you never will in the future.
Germany: They used to be good at tennis, but since Berlin Wall was removed, they don’t seem to have a practice place. For God’s sake, build the guys a wall again!
Italy: Really? I though he was from New York, mainly because he doesn’t win a freaking match. He looks moronic anyway.
Japan: I swear I witnessed a promising Japanese player, I saw him, I’m dead serious, but I don’t know what happened to him. But damn, he was good.

hahaha too funny!! especially "between the legs smash" and definitions for cheating and annoying
 

okdude1992

Hall of Fame
*******
~noun
1. poster on ttw, usually males aged 29-35, still living with parents, and nothing better to do than pick fights on the internet, who loves and admires everything the great roger federer does.
2. poster on ttw who hates and discredits rafael nadal
3. troll (according to *******s)

*******
~noun
1.poster on ttw, usually males aged 12-15 or females 40 and older, with a 3rd grade reading level, and nothing better to do than pick fights on the internet, who loves and admires everything the great rafael nadal does.
2. poster on ttw who hates and discredits roger federer
3. troll (according to *******s)
 

West Coast Ace

G.O.A.T.
*******
~noun
1. poster on ttw, usually males aged 29-35, still living with parents, and nothing better to do than pick fights on the internet, who loves and admires everything the great roger federer does.
2. poster on ttw who hates and discredits rafael nadal
3. troll (according to *******s)

*******
~noun
1.poster on ttw, usually males aged 12-15 or females 40 and older, with a 3rd grade reading level, and nothing better to do than pick fights on the internet, who loves and admires everything the great rafael nadal does.
2. poster on ttw who hates and discredits roger federer
3. troll (according to *******s)
That is very, very true.
 
"At his/her best" - a vague phrase often used to overhype lesser accomplished players to all time great status. (See: Safin/Nalbandian "at their best" are better than Federer)

Beautiful/Classic Game - term often used by 1HBH lovers to describe pros who use 1HBH. (Ex: Justine Henin plays such a beautiful game, I don't know who this guy is but he has a 1HBH so he plays a classic game, etc)

Talent - similar to "at his best", a term often used to overhype players that didn't accomplish as much as their fans would like them to to all time great status (Ex: Nalbandian/Safin are more talented than Federer, Gulbis has top 5 talent, etc)
 
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J

Justdoit10

Guest
Peak playing level
~noun/verb
1. The level Marat Safin plays when he wins a match against Roger Federer
2. The level Roger Federer plays when he loses a match against Marat Safin.

Baseline Basher
~Adjective
1. Players that play tennis from the baseline.
2. All players today. Term does not apply to Roger Federer despite baseline play.
 
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J

Justdoit10

Guest
Hardcourt
~noun
1. Common surface used for tennis tournaments. Extremely cost effective.
2. According to *******s, a surface that gives players AIDS.

New Grass
1. According to *******s, ridiculously slow/green clay. It doesnt allow Federer to hit his crafty volleys and play his so called all court game.
2. According to *******s, exactly the same as old grass. Pros, spectators, analysts, etc. who claim it is slower are all Nadal haters that cant stand to see him win Wimbledon.

Court Suzanne Lenglen
1. One of the finest stadiums at Stade Roland Garros. Holds up to 10,000 spectators.
2. A court Rafa Nadal was dumped on as a part of a racist conspiracy by the French. Some expert *******s assume that the French carried out this horrific deed due to bitterness at the fact that they havent won a war in a million years.
 
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sdont

Legend
^^ A little addition to yours.

Hardcourt, red
~noun
1. What you get when a clay court is under the sun for two consecutive days.
2. New type of surface invented by Roland Garros organizers to prevent Rafael Nadal from winning the tournament.
3. A surface which can be easily recognized by the squeaky sounds it makes under the shoes of Richard Gasquet.

Court Suzanne Lenglen
1. According to the players, the slowest court in the world.
2. According to *******s, the first court where the red hardcourt surface was used.
 
D

Deleted member 21996

Guest
"At his/her best" - a vague phrase often used to overhype lesser accomplished players to all time great status. (See: Safin/Nalbandian "at their best" are better than Federer)

Addition to that

"At his/her best"

b - Condition under which Rafael Nadal is Unbeatable by anyone else
c - Condition which eludes Rafael Nadal every time he loses. ex. RG2009 after steamrolling Lleyton Hewitt; Queens proir to be ousted by his towel boy Feliciano Lopez
 
D

Deleted member 21996

Guest
Felipo Lopez : Unknow player who apparently wears Spanish sports gear Joma and presented to the TTW community by the wise fellow poster Dr. Fedace.
Presumed to play by the Stanford University tennis team and be team mate to the good Dr. and Stanford's last season star Alex Clayton
 
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