i like tennis, but crazy mom makes me want to quit

[Fedfan1995]

im 14 and play 2-6 hours of tennis+fitness a day. I really like tennis but my mom makes me really want to quit. everyday she yells at me saying that i put no effort in, how i never listen, how i dont try and how shes paying for nothing. i cant take it. She gets mad whenever i want to do something with friends and then says i only care about being social. She doesnt have a job so shes always home to yell at me and make me feel really depressed. my marks are low due to the small amounts of time i have and i have no serious friends because im never free to do anything. my mom is also a huge hypocrite and extremly idiotic. her arguments are always invalid and mostly dont make sense, today she even said most tennis coaches dont play tennis. she always complains about how much she has to drive me even though her 2 hours of driving a day compairs nothing to having a job.

another thing is that if i quit tennis il have to change schools, because my mom says that if i quit she wont drive me there and il have to go to a closer school were i know nobody.

oh and my dad works all day and ignores the fighting. hes a great guy and is a complete opposite of my mom. he is very supportive and a great person

thanks for listening. im wondering if theres something i can do. i always try to get my mom to stfu. and i do the opposite of what she says now to **** her off.

 

[DownTheLine]

Well your moms right saying most coaches don't play tennis, but other then that you should say mom "go S my D." Or you could just knock her out with one of your frames.

 

[Fedfan1995]

Well your moms right saying most coaches don't play tennis, but other then that you should say mom "go S my D." Or you could just knock her out with one of your frames.

thats basically what i say. it only makes her angryer

 

[eeytennis]

Yes, there are some crazy tennis parents out there, but you need to realize that she and your dad are footing a huge bill for your tennis. I feel like there are two sides to this story as well so I don't know how much I can say and be accurate at the same time but if she is truly crazy and irrational, you need to talk to her CALMLY (that doesn't involve swearing at her, berating her, making lewd comments (like what Downtheline said), etc.) and ask her what her expectations are of you. Don't yell, don't get angry, just have a mature conversation with her, and you might be surprised at how productive it is.

 

[Fedfan1995]

Yes, there are some crazy tennis parents out there, but you need to realize that she and your dad are footing a huge bill for your tennis. I feel like there are two sides to this story as well so I don't know how much I can say and be accurate at the same time but if she is truly crazy and irrational, you need to talk to her CALMLY (that doesn't involve swearing at her, berating her, making lewd comments (like what Downtheline said), etc.) and ask her what her expectations are of you. Don't yell, don't get angry, just have a mature conversation with her, and you might be surprised at how productive it is.

ive tried everything. i honestly think ignoring every word she says is my best option. shes so irrational arguing back doesnt work. she thinks that if i dont wake up before 8am il be too tired, or if im hungry i shouldnt eat because il just be hungry again

 

[okdude1992]

ive tried everything. i honestly think ignoring every word she says is my best option. shes so irrational arguing back doesnt work. she thinks that if i dont wake up before 8am il be too tired, or if im hungry i shouldnt eat because il just be hungry again

get her to send you to a tennis academy. win-win for both parties imo.
my mom is kind of like that too only the other way around. saying how I care too much about tennis and i'm obsessed with it. hahaha. parents sometimes.

 

[i love t3nn1s]

pack your **** and go stay at a friends house. Or ***** slap her.

 

[the wise wizard]

im 14 and play 2-6 hours of tennis+fitness a day. I really like tennis but my mom makes me really want to quit. everyday she yells at me saying that i put no effort in, how i never listen, how i dont try and how shes paying for nothing. i cant take it. She gets mad whenever i want to do something with friends and then says i only care about being social. She doesnt have a job so shes always home to yell at me and make me feel really depressed. my marks are low due to the small amounts of time i have and i have no serious friends because im never free to do anything. my mom is also a huge hypocrite and extremly idiotic. her arguments are always invalid and mostly dont make sense, today she even said most tennis coaches dont play tennis. she always complains about how much she has to drive me even though her 2 hours of driving a day compairs nothing to having a job.

another thing is that if i quit tennis il have to change schools, because my mom says that if i quit she wont drive me there and il have to go to a closer school were i know nobody.

oh and my dad works all day and ignores the fighting. hes a great guy and is a complete opposite of my mom. he is very supportive and a great person

thanks for listening. im wondering if theres something i can do. i always try to get my mom to stfu. and i do the opposite of what she says now to **** her off.

if you love something and your mom chooses not to support it, well then, she's not really a true parent.
i know a ton of kids that dont work nearly that hard and succeed plenty in tennis (playing college and getting money to do it).
i have been training hard as well (3-4 hours a day in off season) and its hard enough to have to tell your friends constantly that you cant hang out cause your playing tennis, let alone having a parent telling you that sacrificing your personal life isnt enough.

 

[Joeyg]

Your mom drives you two hours a day to tennis? You train 4-6 hours a day and have poor grades because you have little time?

Quit whining and grow up! If you were my kid, I would burn your rackets and lock you in your room until your grades and attitude improved.

It must be nice to be 14 and have all of the answers, you ungrateful, arrogant little snot!

 

[Sumo]

You are in the car for 2hrs a day and you don't have time to do your school work?

It would also be good to tell her that without a social life now, by the time you go to college you will lose you mind. Drinking, drugs, skipping class, etc. You can't go from 0 to 100 instantly without something happening.

 

[Tennis_Stringman]

ive tried everything. i honestly think ignoring every word she says is my best option. shes so irrational arguing back doesnt work. she thinks that if i dont wake up before 8am il be too tired, or if im hungry i shouldnt eat because il just be hungry again

Ignore her and agree with her and then do your own thing. Grades are more important than tennis unless you are exceptionally talented. Enjoy your tennis and you will get better. This period too shall past.

 

[ccmasterk]

Your mom drives you two hours a day to tennis? You train 4-6 hours a day and have poor grades because you have little time?

Quit whining and grow up! If you were my kid, I would burn your rackets and lock you in your room until your grades and attitude improved.

It must be nice to be 14 and have all of the answers, you ungrateful, arrogant little snot!

I'm pretty sure he doesn't have all the answers, otherwise he wouldn't be here. Oh, and do you hate all teenagers or just the ones who feel like their parents hate them too?

 

[TennisBeginner]

Your mom drives you two hours a day to tennis? You train 4-6 hours a day and have poor grades because you have little time?

Quit whining and grow up! If you were my kid, I would burn your rackets and lock you in your room until your grades and attitude improved.

It must be nice to be 14 and have all of the answers, you ungrateful, arrogant little snot!

I think that this guy has an attitude problem. Not everyone has perfect grades Joeyg. Anyways thread starter, ignore this guy, and try to sit down with your parents and explain how much you enjoy tennis to them. (lol at my answer)

 

[Fedfan1995]

Your mom drives you two hours a day to tennis? You train 4-6 hours a day and have poor grades because you have little time?

Quit whining and grow up! If you were my kid, I would burn your rackets and lock you in your room until your grades and attitude improved.

It must be nice to be 14 and have all of the answers, you ungrateful, arrogant little snot!

maybe i put this wrong. my grades arent horrible. i have an 75% average but thats not good enough to get a scholarship at a good school. Ive tried to be mature about this, but, how would you feel having someone on your back for 8 hours, yelling at you in the middle of your lesson as people just stared and laughed behind your back. and your seem like the arrogant one. nobody knows "all the answers" if i did i wouldnt even be here

 

[Fedfan1995]

You are in the car for 2hrs a day and you don't have time to do your school work?

It would also be good to tell her that without a social life now, by the time you go to college you will lose you mind. Drinking, drugs, skipping class, etc. You can't go from 0 to 100 instantly without something happening.

i know people who have lost there lives to drugs/drinking. il never do it.

 

[Fedfan1995]

im getting a tennis coach who my mom really respects to sit down and talk with her. hopefully that will patch things up

 

[Fedfan1995]

You are in the car for 2hrs a day and you don't have time to do your school work?

It would also be good to tell her that without a social life now, by the time you go to college you will lose you mind. Drinking, drugs, skipping class, etc. You can't go from 0 to 100 instantly without something happening.

oh and i get extremely carsick so i cant do much while being driven

 

[Lyzerd]

Your really good at excuses for everything and adding details after people post because they have a valid point against you.

Ive never seen a mom act the way yours have especially not ones who can afford a sport like tennis. I think your either pulling the bs card or your over exaggerating. Your mom probably has good reason to yell at you if your telling her that your really into tennis and she drives you 2 hours a day for it then you go and hang out with your friends get low scores and ignore her and back talk her. I bet you she yells at you because when you practice you don't give the effort while she is.

 

[Kick Serve 14]

Your really good at excuses for everything and adding details after people post because they have a valid point against you.

Ive never seen a mom act the way yours have especially not ones who can afford a sport like tennis. I think your either pulling the bs card or your over exaggerating. Your mom probably has good reason to yell at you if your telling her that your really into tennis and she drives you 2 hours a day for it then you go and hang out with your friends get low scores and ignore her and back talk her. I bet you she yells at you because when you practice you don't give the effort while she is.

Nice to know that we have a Sigmund Freud here. Because obviously, you can psychoanalyze this and determine that everything he says is bs right?

 

[Fedfan1995]

Your really good at excuses for everything and adding details after people post because they have a valid point against you.

Ive never seen a mom act the way yours have especially not ones who can afford a sport like tennis. I think your either pulling the bs card or your over exaggerating. Your mom probably has good reason to yell at you if your telling her that your really into tennis and she drives you 2 hours a day for it then you go and hang out with your friends get low scores and ignore her and back talk her. I bet you she yells at you because when you practice you don't give the effort while she is.

did u bother reading my original post or the title? your response is pretty irrational. by no means do i "go hang out with friends, back talk my mother and not give effort" i love tennis, and backtalking my mom would just get her more angry, and outside of school i have no friends. i honestly dont see why you cant just offer positive feedback, your negative comment is just a waste of everyones time, and a jerk thing to do/say

 

[ayuname]

Are you trolling? Hrm...

 

[Fedfan1995]

Are you trolling? Hrm...

What's trolling?

 

[himynameisNIKE]

Im not sure what your problem is. im in the same situation as you. homeschooled and my mom drives 2 hours a day for my tennis. seriously grow up. get your **** done and stop whining. maybe you will actually realize how much your mom does for you and how grateful you should be. your mom isnt crazy, maybe crazy about helping you succeed! the sooner you realize that the sooner you can actually get better at tennis. And dont worry about the whole friend thing. make friends at tournaments and at your training. itll help in the long run.

 

[ReopeningWed]

If you were Vietnamese and you said all of that to my mom, you would either be deported and locked up in a sweatshop right now, or be missing teeth and ears. Possibly both.
American kids have is it so good, and you don't even appreciate it.

 

[Tennis_Stringman]

Man, give the kid a break, his mom suffers from the dreaded "tennis is everything" syndrome and is putting too much pressure on her son. She needs to chill, focus on the process and not the end results. Work on the mechanics of stroke production, keep th eball deep and the results will come.

 

[CanadianChic]

Well your moms right saying most coaches don't play tennis, but other then that you should say mom "go S my D." Or you could just knock her out with one of your frames.

You have a lot of growing up to do. If a child of mine said that to me tennis would be the least of his concerns. He would be busy packing his suitcase for a stay at Bootcamp Resort and Spa.

 

[Lyzerd]

Ok kid your now saying you dont back talk her because it would make her angrier which is a lie because in the first couple of posts Downtheline suggested you to tell her to "suck your d" which you responded that you do tell her that and of course its going to make her angier because your a ungrateful son who lies to her and lies to people on the internet to get sympathy.

And before everyone asks how do I know hes lieing, think about it. Hes 14 and all his crap he tells us has inconsistencies in the story, while makeing up more excuses and adding **** after we post makeing it easy to tell hes just trolling.

 

[Rina]

OK, I am a Mom of a tennis boy, who is younger than you so I will probably face same challenges your Mom is facing with you right now. I do wonder if you and your Mom are both using tennis to try to be in charge. She knows you love tennis and hopes to use that as a tool to get you to do better in school. She probably doesn't work because your family doesn't need the income and she probably doesn't work so she can drive you around to tennis. You know she cares about tennis and feel like she should care about you no matter how good or bad you do in tennis. You have a valid point with that. She sounds like she only approves of you if you are great in tennis. You know that and hence you don't try as hard as you might to tick her off. You both are holding your weapons and using them. I know I probably sound exactly like your Mom, but my suggestion is that you put down the weapons and think of her as a person. Suggest you two do something other than tennis together, go to movies with her or for dinner. I know it is not as much fun as going out with friends but it is better than having both of you in a yelling match during two hour drive. Do you play on the weekends when your Dad can take you? Talk to him and say that you feel Mom needs a break from you and from tennis and tell him it would mean a lot to you if at least once a week he could take you to tennis. If she is unhappy with your grades see if she will hire a tutor to help with school work.
Anyway, I can write on this issue forever. It is great if you are getting a coach to talk to her. Does your Mom watch your every training session? Have a coach suggest she goes shopping/coffee during this time. In most countries in Europe parents are discouraged from watching their child's lessons, apart from once in a while to see what is going on.
And try to find some time for yourself, alone, playing games or reading or whatever you like. It sounds like you need it. Sorry to sound like another Mom, but know that we try our best but are not perfect and make mistakes all the time. I bet you your Mom regrets it every time you two have an argument, she is upset with herself more than with you. Good luck.

 

[tennisGFR1]

There are some CRAZY tennis parents out there, but many of your do have a point of this kids being disrespectful and unappreciative. You need to be more receptive to other people's advice FedFan, or at least consider it...you are getting a lot of it but you are then saying why that advice is bad or unhelpful. If the problem is that serious maybe you should get your dad involved.

 

[ronjohn]

check out:

www.thetennismom.com

 

[himynameisNIKE]

im 14 and play 2-6 hours of tennis+fitness a day. I really like tennis but my mom makes me really want to quit. everyday she yells at me saying that i put no effort in, how i never listen, how i dont try and how shes paying for nothing. i cant take it. She gets mad whenever i want to do something with friends and then says i only care about being social. She doesnt have a job so shes always home to yell at me and make me feel really depressed. my marks are low due to the small amounts of time i have and i have no serious friends because im never free to do anything. my mom is also a huge hypocrite and extremly idiotic. her arguments are always invalid and mostly dont make sense, today she even said most tennis coaches dont play tennis. she always complains about how much she has to drive me even though her 2 hours of driving a day compairs nothing to having a job.

another thing is that if i quit tennis il have to change schools, because my mom says that if i quit she wont drive me there and il have to go to a closer school were i know nobody.

oh and my dad works all day and ignores the fighting. hes a great guy and is a complete opposite of my mom. he is very supportive and a great person

thanks for listening. im wondering if theres something i can do. i always try to get my mom to stfu. and i do the opposite of what she says now to **** her off.

did u bother reading my original post or the title? your response is pretty irrational. by no means do i "go hang out with friends, back talk my mother and not give effort" i love tennis, and backtalking my mom would just get her more angry, and outside of school i have no friends. i honestly dont see why you cant just offer positive feedback, your negative comment is just a waste of everyones time, and a jerk thing to do/say

i think you are the one being irrational here. your mom has given you all the opportunities to improve and all your getting out of it is how crazy she is. Maybe if you actually did what she asks of you which is idk maybe 1. give your best
2. stay on top of your school
and 3. appreciate what she does for you
( that doesn't seem like a whole lot does it?)
instead of looking for ways to **** her off, tanking practices, and telling her to s your d then she wouldnt be yelling at you all the time. Its always easy to blame other people but you have to stop and think that maybe YOU are the one causing the problem. It might be time for you to man and listen to your mom.

 

[T1000]

Im not sure what your problem is. im in the same situation as you. homeschooled and my mom drives 2 hours a day for my tennis. seriously grow up. get your **** done and stop whining. maybe you will actually realize how much your mom does for you and how grateful you should be. your mom isnt crazy, maybe crazy about helping you succeed! the sooner you realize that the sooner you can actually get better at tennis. And dont worry about the whole friend thing. make friends at tournaments and at your training. itll help in the long run.

This and

OP STFU. I will bet everything I own that half of what you said is bs. My parents work their asses off so I can play tennis three times a week, and maybe tournaments. On top of that I have a sister in college going to med school, another sister in high school, I'm off to college next year, the economy sucks, and count the rest of the normal expenses plus tennis (gas, food, strings, shoes, racquets etc.) I work to pay for most of my tennis stuff so I can't even play as much as I would like, and you're b!tching about playing everyday? I would kill to switch with you. You have it easy compared to 90% of the population. I'm balancing AP/Honors classes with work/tennis/highschool tennis/driving my younger sister, and do normal work around the house. You say you have no time? I have a 3.4 gpa unweighted (around 90%) with challenging classes and other responsibilities. Your mom probably isn't screaming at you 24/7 like you claim. You only hear what you want to hear and love the play the victim. Grow up and be grateful for what you have.

 

[Fedfan1995]

Thanks for the help everyone. Most of you critics are right. I'm not appreciating the fact I'm from an upperclass family and my problems are nothing compared to other kids in much poorer countries. Anyways. I forgot to delete my Internet history and when my mom went though it she saw this, so for the first time in months we had a conversation and decided she wouldn't bug me about it so much. And I got my report card today, much better than last term 80% overall

 

[mike53]

im getting a tennis coach who my mom really respects to sit down and talk with her. hopefully that will patch things up

This is a good idea and I think you might want be there also. If that doesn't work, you could look up some kind of "mental game coach" and bring your mom to your sessions and see if the two of you can agree to some reasonable boundaries to further your common goals. Having an interested but uninvolved third party can work well to solve these kinds of problems. You mom reminds me of myself.

Btw, you should see what happens to some of the boys in wrestling. After getting your @ss kicked and your face pounded into the mat, then your dad screams at you for 10 minutes in front of everybody. Out of control.

 

[Lyzerd]

Thanks for the help everyone. Most of you critics are right. I'm not appreciating the fact I'm from an upperclass family and my problems are nothing compared to other kids in much poorer countries. Anyways. I forgot to delete my Internet history and when my mom went though it she saw this, so for the first time in months we had a conversation and decided she wouldn't bug me about it so much. And I got my report card today, much better than last term 80% overall

Good to hear your problem was solved and that you and your mom came to an agreement.

 

[DownTheLine]

You have a lot of growing up to do. If a child of mine said that to me tennis would be the least of his concerns. He would be busy packing his suitcase for a stay at Bootcamp Resort and Spa.

It was a joke.

 

[Fedfan1995]

This is a good idea and I think you might want be there also. If that doesn't work, you could look up some kind of "mental game coach" and bring your mom to your sessions and see if the two of you can agree to some reasonable boundaries to further your common goals. Having an interested but uninvolved third party can work well to solve these kinds of problems. You mom reminds me of myself.

Btw, you should see what happens to some of the boys in wrestling. After getting your @ss kicked and your face pounded into the mat, then your dad screams at you for 10 minutes in front of everybody. Out of control.

Yea I'm also a boxer. But my mom cares Less about it so she doesn't bug me after the practices

 

[a_2c+]

OP,

chill down, take a break.

This is an excellent opportunity to do a self-reflection on what went wrong and stuff, and what you should be grateful for.


I know being 14 is a turbulent time. . . . . . seriously.

Sit down, sit on a couch, or sofa, with your pet kitty or doogy or hamster, and think of the good your mom has done.






consider yourself lucky that you get to play tennis everyday, and that you have a bigger shot at making the pros than most of us Talk Tennis members do.

 

[coyfish]

Glad you had your issues resolved Fedfan. Don't take offense but it sounds like a typical teenager moment to me. A 14 year olds perception of "rationality" is often very skewd.

My guess is your Mom was upset with your marks and let that reflect upon some of your other activities.

 

[nadalfan!]

First of all, there always comes a time in every kid's life that they will hate their parents. However, if you learn to take everything with a grain of salt, you can move on and don't let things keep you down. on the subject of grades, GET THEM UP! Your 6 hours tennis will be useless soon because you are not at an academy for tennis. School is a 100% fail-proof way to succeed if you assert yourself. Those average grades will kill you later so I suggest you take it easier with all your tennis and boxing and work on better grades. You have to understand that if you get an injury in tennis, all the time and money that was put into it was a waste and you have nothing else. Once the grades are above average, your mom will be very pleased (trust me) and you will feel more relaxed. Hope you mature a bit and realize what I'm trying to say.


P.S. I'm a teenager too not a parent.

 

[Fedfan1995]

First of all, there always comes a time in every kid's life that they will hate their parents. However, if you learn to take everything with a grain of salt, you can move on and don't let things keep you down. on the subject of grades, GET THEM UP! Your 6 hours tennis will be useless soon because you are not at an academy for tennis. School is a 100% fail-proof way to succeed if you assert yourself. Those average grades will kill you later so I suggest you take it easier with all your tennis and boxing and work on better grades. You have to understand that if you get an injury in tennis, all the time and money that was put into it was a waste and you have nothing else. Once the grades are above average, your mom will be very pleased (trust me) and you will feel more relaxed. Hope you mature a bit and realize what I'm trying to say.


P.S. I'm a teenager too not a parent.

Thanks for the help/advice! im pretty proud of my new 80% average everything seems to be working out now.
thanks again