The Tennis Book that would never sell.....

[ThA_Azn_DeViL]

"how to pat peoples legs" -Mirka

 

[Atherton2003]

"you're So Vain"....Roger Federer

 

[Atherton2003]

"Mr. Roger's Neighborhood" by Roger Federer

 

[moonbat]

"How To Choose Proper Fitting Underwear" by Rafael Nadal

 

[Dilettante]

Maybe a collection of books written by TW posters:

-“Are you the GOAT? / A rigorous analysis”
-“Ten reasons why everyone is done except Marat Safin”
-“Easy guide to honorable retirement”
-“The tennis match: win or CHOKE!!”
-“Talent: when your strokes are beautiful but you’re not good enough to win anything / Preface by Richard Gasquet’s fan club president”
-“Jesus wants YOU to serve & volley”
-“How did I beat Federer without turning off my PC” by Aykhan Mammadov
-“Major Cheating Vol. I: Ana Ivanovic’s annoyingly noisy footsteps”
-“Major Cheating Vol II: no big belly? Boy, you’re on roids!”
-“Major Cheating Vol. III: The Wimbygate / Wimbledon’s grass slow down - Is the CIA involved? ”
-“Andy Roddick: why being Top Ten doesn’t mean you are not a joke”.
-“5000 million years of tennis: Nadal beat Federer, who beat Sampras, who beat McEnroe, who beat Borg, who beat Laver... would Nadal beat God?”

 

[moonbat]

Maybe a collection of books written by TW posters:

-“Are you the GOAT? / A rigorous analysis”
-“Ten reasons why everyone is done except Marat Safin”
-“Easy guide to honorable retirement”
-“The tennis match: win or CHOKE!!”
-“Talent: when your strokes are beautiful but you’re not good enough to win anything / Preface by Richard Gasquet’s fan club president”
-“Jesus wants YOU to serve & volley”
-“How did I beat Federer without turning off my PC” by Aykhan Mammadov
-“Major Cheating Vol. I: Ana Ivanovic’s annoyingly noisy footsteps”
-“Major Cheating Vol II: no big belly? Boy, you’re on roids!”
-“Major Cheating Vol. III: The Wimbygate / Wimbledon’s grass slow down - Is the CIA involved? ”
-“Andy Roddick: why being Top Ten doesn’t mean you are not a joke”.
-“5000 million years of tennis: Nadal beat Federer, who beat Sampras, who beat McEnroe, who beat Borg, who beat Laver... would Nadal beat God?”

Heh! You're right, nobody would read them.

 

[jane-hawkEye]

"Who Stole My Gwen Stefani?" by Madame Tusseaud

"Perspectives on Mathematical Practices: Bringing Together Philosophy of Mathematics, Sociology of Mathematics, and Mathematics Education. Chapter One" by Serena Williams

"Sorry Chicks, I have Mono" by Roger Federer

"Why Penis Looks Smaller When You're Doing Pilates" by Rafael Nadal and Doctor Ruth

"Knock Knock Who's There: My First Book Of Knock Knock Jokes" by Novak Djokovic (prefaced by Justin Gimelstob)

"Cheerleading" by Svetlana Kuznetsova

 

[Breaker]

"An autobiography - The pro career of Ayhkan Mammodov"

Actually I would maybe buy that.

 

[moonbat]

"How To Cut Your Hair With a Lawnmower" by Novak Djokovic.

(I keed, I keed, I keed because I love.)

 

[Dilettante]

"Wimbledon 2008 final: A match for ages", by Gwen Stefani

 

[Dilettante]

Heh! You're right, nobody would read them.

Certainly I wouldn't

Maybe the Mammadov one, as Breaker said.

 

[Breaker]

"Break Point! The Secret Diary of a Pro Tennis Player" by Vince Spadea

"How to defeat Lleyton Hewitt" by Tim Henman.

^^ I got a sneak peak on Henman's book, an exclusive cover shot for you good TTW contributors.

 

[Breaker]

"Quick way to sniff out your opponents" ------ by Martina Hingis

Haha, missed this one. Too good

 

[moonbat]

Certainly I wouldn't

Maybe the Mammadov one, as Breaker said.

Forgive my ignorance, but my Google has crashed: Who is Ayhkan Mammodov? (Great name BTW.)

 

[moonbat]

Haha, missed this one. Too good

It's a companion book to her last one: "Between The Lines."

 

[Breaker]

Forgive my ignorance, but my Google has crashed: Who is Ayhkan Mammodov? (Great name BTW.)

It's too bad you haven't heard of this great player, unfortunately he was in a horrific accident as detailed here http://tt.tennis-warehouse.com/showthread.php?t=127636.

Now he's unable to play in the slams. It's a shame really, he is one of the few who wouldn't tremble against ugly pirate boy.

 

[jane-hawkEye]

"My Wimbledon experience: I Didn't Know The Ball Was That Big! But Where Was Henin's Opponent?" by Pierce Brosnan

"What Tonya Harding Knows About Knees" by Roger Federer

"When Spielberg Called Me Bruce" by Andy Murray

"Tennis Anyone?" by Justine Henin

"Reasons Why We Left The Cirque du Soleil" by Dinara Safina, Svetlana Kuznetsova and Marion Bartoli

"The Last Time I Served, I Almost Killed Line-judge" by Elena Dementieva

"When I Google My Name, I Can't Find A SexTape" by Roger Federer

"When I Google My Name, I Have a 404" by Donald Young

"How I Ate The French Open Trophy in Only 2 Days" by Rafael Nadal

"How I Ate 3 Chickens In Less Than 2 Hours" by David Nalbandian

 

[moonbat]

It's too bad you haven't heard of this great player, unfortunately he was in a horrific accident as detailed here http://tt.tennis-warehouse.com/showthread.php?t=127636.

Now he's unable to play in the slams. It's a shame really, he is one of the few who wouldn't tremble against ugly pirate boy.

Thanks for the info. It's too bad about the accident, but I'm looking forward to reading the book. I'm glad he can fall back on his caveman career.

 

[Sampragassi]

"Talk to the hand" by Justine Henin

 

[Dina Hamdan]

"Don't give a damn"-Lleyton Hewitt & John McEnroe
"How to win a tie-break"-Marat Safin
"Looking girly in the court"-Francesca Schiavone
"Keeping consistent"-Andy Murray & Nikolay Davydenko
Concentrate on the tennis, no time for other activities"-Serena & Venus Williams
"The complete clay game"-Andy Roddick & James Blake

 

[roundiesee]

"How to change your gameplan and win Wimbledon 6 years in succession" by Roger Federer

 

[h7hugo]

"How to win matches after a good tornment" by Marat

 

[swimntennis]

"Shoulder Flexibility: How to Reach Those Bad Tosses" by Ana and Elena

 

[Sampragassi]

"Fist pump your way to success" - Tim Henman

"Its not about the Tux" -Maria Sharapova

"How to fake a British accent" - Greg Rusedski

"Bodybuilding - insider tips to peak biceps" - John Mcenroe

 

[Sampragassi]

"Winning Pretty" by Anna Kournikova

 

[drive]

"Keeping consistent"-Andy Murray & Nikolay Davydenko
"The complete clay game"-Andy Roddick & James Blake

hahaha hilarious

 

[drive]

I love the books with a couple of authors, i can imagine them writing the book together, lol, i can imagine Roddick and Blake writing the clay tennis book, it's so *** hilarious! my stomach hurts!

 

[Deleted member 21996]

"How my mom turned me into the most hated player in the ATP TOUR - the real inside story about the tragedy behind one slam wonder Novak Djokovic"

by Novak Djokovic

and preface by Maria Sharapova

 

[jane-hawkEye]

"My 20 Most Beautiful Sport's Illustrated Covers" by Roger Federer

"The Everything Crossword and Puzzle Book; Hours of brain-teasing fun-crossword puzzles, acrostics, hidden words and more, for puzzlers at all levels " by Serena Williams

"Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know" by Richard Williams

"Warrior Girls: Protecting Our Daughters Against the Injury Epidemic in Women's Sports" by Jim Pierce and Stefano Capriati

"I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids: Reinventing Modern Motherhood" by Dijana Djokovic

"Sound of the Beast: The Complete Headbanging History of Heavy Metal" by Michael Chang

"Going-Natural: How to Fall in Love with Nappy Hair" by Andy Murray

"Tennis Tactics: Winning Patterns of Play" by Andy Roddick and Marcelo Rios

"Smart Tennis: How to Play and Win the Mental Game" by Gaston Gaudio and Jana Novotna

"Art of Finger Waving -- Recreating Vintage 1920s and 1930s Hairstyles" by Roger Federer

"How to Satisfy A Man Every Time" by Martina Navratilova

"Ultimate Undies: Erotic Stories about Underwear and Lingerie (The Fetish Chest)" by Rafael Nadal

 

[jane-hawkEye]

"I made SI's Cover Only Once, But it Was Swimsuits !" by Svetlana Kuznetsova

"Winning at Home Thanks To Partisan Crowd" by Tim Henman and Amelie Mauresmo

"Who's The Boss?" by Ana Ivanovic

"How to Slip On Clay" by Andy Roddick and Lindsay Davenport

"Mirka Makes Me Horny When She Sings "Grace Kelly"" by Roger Federer

"I Will Endorse Barack But I Like McCain Fries" by Serena Williams

 

[Greenfin Beta]

this was one of the funniest threads at TW. i'm glad somebody brought it back. i haven't found much to laugh about since before the wimby final. keep it coming. :lol:

 

[Greenfin Beta]

Heh---she's got a competing book: "How To Turn Your Serve Into A Real Weapon."

with anna kournikova as co-author...

 

[jane-hawkEye]

"My Life As An Orphan" by Serena Williams

"Real Men Don't Shave" by Andre Agassi

"How to Beat Hair Loss" by Nicolay Davydenko

"Resisting desserts" by Marion Bartoli

"Fighting Herpes" by Roger Federer (a preface by Marat Safin)

"Last Time I Served, I Pulverized The Net" by Elena Dementieva

 

[jane-hawkEye]

"Memoirs Of An Hairy Butt" by Pete Sampras

"I Bite Trophies But I Don't Swallow" by Rafael Nadal

"The Most Reliable Pregnancy Tests" by David Nalbandian

"How I Lost Roland Garos Because Of My Periods" by Roger Federer

"Blow Him Away" by Amelie Mauresmo

"How To Handle The Pressure of Being Favorite" by Vince Spadea

 

[tennisfever8181]

"How to score hot chicks" by Roger Federer

 

[jane-hawkEye]

"Last Time I Served I Broke A TV Camera" by Elena Dementieva

"Seven Months in Tibet, My Life With Monks" by Marat Safin

"I Could Have Been A Horse Jockey" by Jo-Wilfrid Tsonga

"Uneven Bars And Floor Exercise: My Best Chance Of Gold In Beijing" by Svetlana Kuznetsova

"If Wimbledon Was A Swimming Pool" by Ana Ivanovic

"How to Choose The Good Shot At The Right Time" by Andy Roddick

 

[Oui c'est moi.]

Great thread. Keep them coming as i'm bookmarking this.

“5000 million years of tennis: Nadal beat Federer, who beat Sampras, who beat McEnroe, who beat Borg, who beat Laver... would Nadal beat God?”

"Sorry Chicks, I have Mono" by Roger Federer

Tee hee.

 

[jane-hawkEye]

"Last Time I Served I Damaged The Royal Box" by Elena Dementieva

"Cardigan Is My Superman's Cape" by Roger Federer

 

[BkK_b0y14]

"Tupac and Biggie Got Nothing On Me" an autobiography by Vince Spadea (Ain't Afraid of Ya)

"The Red Bandana to the Past: One Week as a Blood" an autobiography by Vince Spadea (Viewer Discretion advised: contains raw descriptions of street violence and drugs)

"Tupac and Biggie: Fake Street Cred Made Them End Up Dead" by Vince Spadea

 

[Atherton2003]

"Keep out of my Pocketbook" by Roger Federer

"The Water Bottle Complex" by Rafael Nadal

"How to Have Smooth, Clean-Shaven, Womanly Legs" by Mardy Fish

"The Ungainly Klutz" by Justin Gimblestob

 

[jane-hawkEye]

"Each Time I Serve I Dig a Hole With The Ball" by Elena Dementieva

"How to Win the Lottery" by Nicolay Davydenko

"Your Racket is Your Buddy" by Mikhail Youzhny

"How To Stole Wax At Madame Tussaud" by Mardy Fish

"Sliced Drop Shot: An Essential Weapon On Clay" by Andy Roddick

 

[jane-hawkEye]

"Don't Touch My Sewing Box" by Roger Federer

"How To Dance The Zouk-Lambada" by Nicolay Davydenko

"Having Fun With Both Hands" by Rafael Nadal

"I Could Have Been A Trapezist" by Dinara Safina

 

[jane-hawkEye]

"American twist: Never Flat, Secrets of A Top Spin" by Andy Roddick

"Unstuck: Your Guide to the Seven-Stage Journey Out of Depression" by Gaston Gaudio

"Medicare Hospice Benefits" by Mary Pierce

"Instant Success" by Fernando Meligeni

"The Clear Skin Diet: A Nutritional Plan for Getting Rid of and Avoiding Acne" by Stanislas Wawrinka

 

[Atherton2003]

"The Clear Skin Diet: A Nutritional Plan for Getting Rid of and Avoiding Acne" by Stanislas Wawrinka and preface by Maria Sharapova

 

[jane-hawkEye]

"The Clear Skin Diet: A Nutritional Plan for Getting Rid of and Avoiding Acne" by Stanislas Wawrinka and preface by Maria Sharapova AND Justine Henin

 

[Toxicmilk]

American Dominance On Clay, By Andy Roddick and James Blake

 

[Dilettante]

"English Grammar made easy" by Rafael Nadal

(Note: The editorial changed the original title: "English grammar I think it's unbelievable, no?")

 

[jane-hawkEye]

American Dominance On Clay, By Andy Roddick and James Blake

"From Moon to Paris: Planting the American Flag On The Dirt" by Andy Roddick and james Blake

 

[jane-hawkEye]

"Why I hated Moonballers" by Arantxa Sanchez

"Miss USA falls down, She Sucks" by Andy Roddick and James Blake

 

[Deleted member 3771]

"100 French Bagel Recipes" by Rafael Nadal, dedicated to Roger Federer.