Canas has had some pretty good results this year. He lost to Nadal in the finals in Barcelona and went to the QF at the French. It takes a lot more than one tournament to go from unranked to 14th in the world in less than a year. Volandri got Fed on a bad day, but he's been a top 50 guy for a number of years with several good results in Clay events.
You have room for only about 6 non-pathetic nobodies in the world. It's very impressive that you can extrapolate being in a phD program to becoming a foremost expert in the field. By your own standards though, unless you're in serious contention for a Nobel Prize, you're a pathetic nobody. Good luck.